1st Time UNlucky

jane · Post by **jane** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 10:49 am

I am absolutely gutted. Beena wake all morning. Did the hpt at 6am. Big Fat Negative, not even a slight line in the positive window. Where have the embies gone??????
I am so angry and so upset. Why is life so unfair and cruel.
I am really sorry i am so negative. I will pick myself up and I have go six frosties. However, if the ist embies dont work then how can frozen ones work?
We are so skint as well. we really wanted to get married this year. But now we wont have a baby and cant afford to get married either. What a f***ing bummer. (sorry for swearing).
God, it really does hit you hard doesn't it.

Sorry Traci - no happy birthday present.
From Sophie-Jane

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 11:02 am

Oh Sophie-Jane I'm so sorry. I can tell how pissed off and upset you are, and there's very little I can do to make you feel better....

The title of your post though gives me hope that you can already see that another attempt will happen and you'll get the ++++++ you deserve.

People do get pg with FETs (I did) so I don't think there's a problem there. One way of looking at it is that your clinic now know so much more about you then before this first tmt. Your next try will be based on what they've observed and tested this time. I doubt it helps to hear that now but it will help them get it more focused next time.

Take care and spoil yourself before embarking on your FET. 6 frosties is a great number, it will happen for you!

love Debra.

loopylou57uk · Post by **loopylou57uk** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 11:35 am

hi jane,im sorry it didnt work this time,and i know how hard it hits you,i was really devestated my first time,but hey 2nd time lucky for me and for you too.

take care and have some quality time with dh.
love loopy.

SJ BROWN · Post by **SJ BROWN** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:45 pm

Hi Jane

sorry you did not get your dream...........

I was really gutted with my first -ve( was fet< i did not get chance of fresh cos of OHSS) but it does get better.....look at me Im off again..............It really is very rare for IVF to work first time which is a bummer, especially if you cant get funding.............

Re FET........some clinics are now saying FETs are becoming as successfull as fresh..........if you think about it, your body has gone through a lot with ec etc etc but when you do a FET you are more relaxed and no danger of OHSS etc.....you also dont have the worry of fertilisation as your embies are already there....

Look at the +Ve-6 frosties!! thats brill, the one downside with FET is them surviving the thaw but with 6 you should have no worries........
Spend the next few months getting yourself fit and healthy, thats what I have done(well, sort of!! have not been an Angel)

Spend the next few days having lots of cuddles and have a big blow out on chocolate and wine............at least you dont have to worry about a holiday if your skint, youve got a lovely beach in Bournemouth so fingers crossed for some warm weather

You sound a very +ve person and I am sure you will get your dream, it just takes a little longer for some of us........

Take care
Sarah
xxxxxx

regankate · Post by **regankate** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 1:40 pm

Jane-

I just wanted to say I am sooooo sorry.
God really works in misterious ways. THe nest frozen one
will be your baby!!!!
And yes they do work!! Maybe the ones they put back just were not the RIGHT ones!!!!!!!
Just remeber you have SIX more chances to do it. YOu WILL get a baby!!
We ALL will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
XOXOXOXOXOX
REGANKATE

Miracle · Post by **Miracle** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 1:44 pm

hi jane,
Life can be really cruel sometimes...all i will advice you to do is CRY...cry as much as u can...don't vent it cause it's going to create more problems for u and dh....On the 11th when i heard that my embies were gone ,i was devastated and shocked and just could not cry at all...yesterday dh took me for a long drive and just told me that "if our babies had survived then they would have been due in november...an addition to more scorpions(zodiac) in the family!!!"-and that was all i needed...he wanted me to take it out ....i cried and cried and cried and trust me,i felt every inch of my body sqeeze!!!!But the best part is that 12th march was better than the 11th and 13th is better than the 12th....That's the beauty of life!!!!!

FET'Sdo work....they had worked for me...even if for a while ...but it had worked...u have 6 embies and the survival rate of the thaw process is 70-80%...So see!!!!u have a chance ...and again fet's are much cheaper than fresh cycle's....Jane ,don't think about the next cycle...try and cope with this one first......someday,if someone fails their first cycle.....u will be the first one to reply and say..."even though it has not worked for the first time ,it eventually will for u"-and remember...it's going to be OK in the end.....We are determined to be mothers and we will be -soon!!!

Luv,
miracle.

Susan L · Post by **Susan L** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 3:46 pm

Jane im sooooo sorry

like the others have said i no how bad it hits you the first time round and getting a neg i really feel for you
your six frosties will come good for you im sure
FET are alot cheaper so give yourself a few months and save some pennies i no how hard it can be but you will get there in the end you seem such a strong person i no you can do it
TAke care
Susan

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 4:43 pm

How well put Miracle, you have explained beutifully, Jane I am so sorry for you darling , you will get through it and its tough but each day does get better especially with the help of Brandy!!!!! when you are feeling better as soon as you can book your next go and have something to look forward to , FET is so much better then a fresh cycle and look at Tracey S she is PG with Twins from an FET.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Trace x

Dizzy · Post by **Dizzy** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 10:03 pm

Jane, i am so sorry it hasn't worked this time but don't give up hope, just have some chocs, wine and lots of cuddles and remember you've still got your 6 frosties

Dizzy

wendy30 · Post by **wendy30** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 11:03 pm

Sophie-Jane

So sorry to hear your news. You are right to be angry and upset, I was devestated the first time, it does get easier. I always tell myself the more I go through for the end result will make me value it more and I always remind myself that I was lucky to get to the transfer stage.

Your frosties will be like mine from the FCB's, LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!

Just try and have a life without IVF for a wee bit, We have a holiday booked in June to Italy to a posh hotel, somewhere we've both wanted to go for ages and are booked in for a FET in August. Anyway have a break it doesn't matter where you go, just be together and relax.

Thinking of you

Love

Wendy

Allison · Post by **Allison** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 10:58 am

Jane,

So sorry that your result wasnt what you wanted. You have 6 frosties left and that is a fantastic number. FETS do work for lots of girls. I hope they work for you as well.

Spend some quality time with dh and pamper yourselves. You deserve a break.

Love Allison
x

july ann · Post by **july ann** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 3:01 pm

jane

so sorry to hear your new's I know how bad it feels. I must admit the first time is the worst I felt really lonley with out my embies insde me. I know it is hard to get over but you will not feel like that when you start again and the drugs are out of your body. You will know what to expect the second time around and I try to take it one day at a time.

please take care and try and look to the future with hope

july ann

jane · Post by **jane** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 3:42 pm

Thank you all for your posts. I have cried and cried and now feeling slightly better. dp is so positive which is keeping me going. I did go out last night with dp, two friends and my sister (my sister and one of my friends are pregnant so I felt very brave seeing them and I survived).
I have had a few beers and a few cigarettes (I know I shouldn't have done but it was an act of defiance).
Will start being good again tomorow as I am keen to book in for a fet asap. Will speak to the clinic about the best time to start again.
I still haven't had a proper af. Its just brown spotting. So I did another test but got a kick in the teeth again with a negative. Why can't my af come with a vengeance and then I won't keep on thinking that maybe I am pg but the tests aren't working.
I am still angry at life, but I am determined not to be a miserable old cow. You guys who have had several attempts are so brave and i am aspiring to your positive attitudes.
Thank you again, and hopefully I'll join some of you on another cycle.
Love from Sophie-Jane

beckncraig · Post by **beckncraig** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:52 am

Hi Jane,
sorry i've been away for the weekend & only just found out you sad news.
Im so so sorry i couldn't beleive it, life is so cruel. Think you've got 6 more frosties i'm sure it will be you next time. keep positive. And so what about having a few fags i would have done the same.
Take care honey lots of love & hugs coming your way.
Love Becky & Craig.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx[/b]

Zed2003 · Post by **Zed2003** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 10:00 am

Hi Sophie-Jane

Sorry to read your posting - it's crap when it happens (understatement) but think of those lovely frosties you still have. Get angry, get sad - deal with it any way you can. Just look after yourself and take some time. Your time WILL come...

Zoe x

1st Time UNlucky

1st Time UNlucky

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