I wanted to thank everybody for the positive energy and good wishes. I had the ultrasound yesterday and everything looked great! My little bean was what the doctor called "a couple of days smaller than average" but still well within the normal range, which probably just means that it was a late implanter. We got to see the little heartbeat, which was a strong 130 bpm - my husband got pretty emotional about that.
So I am now officially cleared to stop going to the IVF doctor and make an appointment with my regular obgyn. Or in this case, actually GET a regular obgyn. We just moved 1.5 years ago, and only one doctor in this area was taking new patients who WEREN'T pregnant. I went to see him, and definitely figured out why that was the case.
For the longest time I didn't care if my doctor was a man or a woman, I figured as long as they were competent that's all that mattered. But I have to say that through the years I have had more than enough male condescension and I think this time I'm going to make an effort to select a female obgyn.
True (kind of long) story: After about four years of not using any birth control with no results (not really trying, but hey if you're married... and nothing is happening anyway... why bother?) I went to my nurse practitioner for testing and my husband talked to his doctor. She immediately ran tests. His male doctor suggested we "keep trying." I suggested he go to another doctor. Three doctors later they figured out he has congenital bilateral lack of vas deferens. So... that "keep trying" thing probably wouldn't have worked out too well. I wanted to know what caused this kind of birth defect, because if it was something serious we shouldn't even be trying to have children. I did some research and found out it's almost always caused by a mutation of cystic fibrosis. So we had my husband tested for it. When we went in to get the results, the (male) doctor was so incredibly rude. "I don't know why you even had this test done." I explained my research. He turned to my husband with this "aren't little women funny when they do research on the web" look and said, "Most people die young from CF. I think you would KNOW if you had something like that" - dripping sarcasm. He went on, basically running me down for being a paranoid idiot when clearly he, as a DOCTOR, knew better. Then the nurse came in and handed him the results. It was one page, so when he was taking about 5 minutes to read it... I knew. Then, "Ahem, er, um, uh - it's positive... So. I guess you do have it." We were in his office and he had all his diplomas framed over his desk, so I turned to my husband and said, "Oh, wow. Think of that. And I didn't even have to go to Yale to figure that out." He got us out of there pretty quickly after that, and again I had to read the paperwork from the results myself to notice that they recommended genetic counseling, etc. Fortunately I am not a carrier, so there is no chance of our children having it. Of course, when I called the only local genetics office they claimed to not have an appointment for SEVEN MONTHS! My nurse practitioner stepped in, made some calls, and I had an appointment for the following week.
Sorry about the long post, but I have been thinking a lot lately about how I never would have gotten here if I wasn't my own strong advocate, and about the constant 4-year struggle this has been. And to think some women out there just have sex!!
