IVF over 40 Buddy Group........Membership Drive

Suzanne18 · Post by **Suzanne18** » Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:15 am

bonnie and missy... while I happy for both of you and wish you healthy pregnancies and healthy babies, I do find your posts a bit insensitive to some of the ladies here on the board... every baby is a blessing and understandably, multiples do require a mind adjustment, as well as a life adjustment, but your comments and emoticons/faces make them sound like more of a curse rather than something to be celebrated... there are several women here who are pregnant with multiples and I think that there are more mature approaches to celebrating each pregnancy... if you are thrilled that you're having only one baby, that's fine, but perhaps you should discuss your excitement with eachother via PM's, therefore remaining sensitive to ladies having multiples and ladies in the midst of trying to get pregnant with one (or more!).

bonnie · Post by **bonnie** » Sat Mar 28, 2009 11:39 am

Oh my goodness, i am so terribly sorry! I didnt even think of my comments as being hurtful to others--and that once again shows me just how clueless I can be.

i cant speak for Missy--but i know that for me--my posts were misunderstood if they were read to say that i was glad i wasnt having mulitples. Honestly, there are amazing pros and cons to have mulitples. I had really come to think i was going to have twins and was frankly disappointed when they only found one. I kept asking, "are you sure you didnt miss one!" I was just trying to look on the bright side--just as we all are in our circumstances. But this is likely my one and only chance to have a child. Truthfully, it would have been a welcomed blessing for us to have twins or triplets.

Please forgive me ladies. I can be a blockhead sometimes and not think about how my words might effect someone else. These little ones are such a precious gift for however long we have them.

Now to my mext problem...i spent all night bleeding dark red blood. Is it possible that the US in any way could cause this? I doubt it. i have been praying all night, and i know i will just have to try to rest and wait 2 more weeks to have another US. This process is such a step of faith for us all.

bonnie

teachertam · Post by **teachertam** » Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:06 pm

Bonnie: I am sorry that you are bleeding. I would call your RE, as he/she may want to do another ultrasound to make sure everything is ok. When I was pregnant with DS, I had some spotting and was worried so my RE did another ultasound to make sure my little beanie was ok. You definitely should rest!

Take care,
Tammy

njsurga · Post by **njsurga** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 7:49 pm

Bonnie: Congrats!! And yes you should not hesitate to call your RE!

I got AF today and I have my meeting with my RE tomorrow to see if I will be starting stims this cycle.
I still cannot believe that Fed Ex didn't deliver my ovarian reserve test from my last cycle to the lab frozen. I guess I'll find out tomorrow if this cycle is a bust! I have a feeling it is. I'm soooo over cycling!!

Sharon

bonnie · Post by **bonnie** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:53 pm

Hi All!
thank you for your encouragement. I have not had any bleeding for 24 hours now--so I am encouraged. i know in the past when i have miscarried it has been off and on. my next US is April 13th--so unless I have any more bleeding--i am going to wait for it and trust. This whole process for me has been a step by step by step walk of faith. For my own personal faith--it is a good place to be when i am trusting God all along the way. man, it's hard sometimes.

I read that 50% of bleeding in the 1st trimester still leads to a healthy baby. Does anyone think we are more prone to bleeding with how pumped up our uteruses are when we have our transfers? Are our linings more thick than they would normally be?

I have a sense that it is ok, but then again I usually do--and sometimes it isnt!

Much love and healthy precious little babies to all,
bonnie

bonnie · Post by **bonnie** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:57 pm

Sharon, i for one would like to go with you to your RE appt! It seems like all of us going through IVF need an advocate. I am always so afraid to upset anyone at my RE office--like somehow I am less likely to be successful if they are mad at me. But i could defintely be on point for someone else!

I know they are only human--and we all make mistakes--but there is just so much at stake here. And another month is like an eternity. Anyway, we all feel your pain and I am praying this will not effect a perfect cycle for you!

Bonnie

njsurga · Post by **njsurga** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:56 am

Well, I went to my RE appointment and as I thought he would, he recommended donor egg for my protocol. He said in the 20yrs he has been in practice only one woman my age succeeded in pregnancy. He does not have a donor program so I am going to find another clinic who does. I have one question for you ladies though, If I did go with my own eggs he said retrieval wouldn't be till June, my initial visit was in March!! Did it take you ladies 4 month's from day one till retrieval? Just curious.

Sharon

wishfull27 · Post by **wishfull27** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:41 am

Hi Sharon
That sounds like an awful long time - I think last cycle with my eggs went in April - waited for AF and had trasfer late May - with this cycle using donor I could have cycled as soon as AF arrived as donors available - however DH was due to be away in Saudi for a month so we delayed it!

Good luck in your donor search

Carolyn x

bonnie · Post by **bonnie** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:04 am

Sharon, did he say anything about the lost lab results? Maybe an apology? what is he basing his decision on? i cant remember your age--but i would think successful ivf would be more dependent on egg quality and reserve than age. Did he say WHY you would have to wait? Some RE's are juat very busy--and this may be the case--that his schedule is filled up.

I know the first time an RE said that to me (I would need an egg donor) I cried so hard that i barely made it out of the office. i cried for days. Search your heart to see what you want to do. there are options--but what can you live with? Can you live with a stronger possibility of failure with your own eggs? Can you live with using a donor? Can you live with trying to adopt a child? It's so personal. I'm sorry about this--as I know how painful it was for me for a season. I will tell you from my own personal expereince that i am now very happy to be pregnant. I found a donor that i really felt "represented me" is the best way i can put it. It wasn't easy finding her. I am carrying this baby--and it is just as much mine in my heart as it is my husband's.

Liam'sMommy · Post by **Liam'sMommy** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:54 pm

Hello ladies, i just wanted to let you know i have decided to take a break from all of my ivf related activities. My husband keeps nagging me because i spend so much time on the computer. He thinks i should concentrate on our son and give God a chance to work on the rest. I have been consumed by this for almost 2 years. So for now i will be concentrating on real life. I hope you all understand.

I will check back in now and then to see how you are doing. I am still proceeding with my treatment plan and will let you know when i finally go to ET if i was successful. I'll be praying that each of you are blessed with the child you long for.

HUGS, Kelly

Sisi1 · Post by **Sisi1** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:15 pm

Well the fat lady has sung, AF came full force this morning so I am thinking that is pretty much it for me.

My clinic insists I continue with the progesterone until Monday's test April 6th,.... but I am pretty clear on the final result!

Wanted to thank everyone for their support and wish you the very best of luck on your journey. I also will not be on for the next litte while.

njsurga · Post by **njsurga** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:40 pm

Hi All!! Today they did the labwork for my 3rd cycle day ovarian reserve/inhibin test that they should've got last cycle. I was totally prepared (or at least I thought I was) to hear the words "donor eggs" from my RE. But when he said it my eye's teared up immediately and I did cry when I got out of the office. Givin my age (43, 44 Apr 29) he said that would be the best chance of pregnancy. RE said even though my FSH was 6 my ovaries didn't do much of anything last cycle. I don't have a donor and have NO idea about how to go about finding one. I have no problem with having a child through a donor, DH and I discussed it when we started this journey. I do also have 2 beautiful biological children (19 & 21) through a previous marriage. It was just so hard to hear that I am too old to conceive my own child. Life is so unfair!! I'm going to wait for the test comes back to make a final decision but I know where this is going. I just didn't want the "what if" factor when working with donor cycle.

Sharon

missygirl · Post by **missygirl** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 2:01 pm

Looks like I've missed quite a bit since I've been away!

First and foremost, my apologies to Suzzane...I certainly meant no disrespect or anything like that to those of you who are having twins. If this was my first IVF and it was twins I would be delighted to have my instant family! Now that I have one beautiful daugther, my wish was to just have one more so, happy to just see a singleton. I think I would have been overwhelmed with a 17 month old baby and twins and I worried that I wouldn't be able to give them all what they needed. I have no family within 5 hours of where I live so no support system....so, yes, I'm happy it's just one as now I think I can provide them both with as much love and care as I can give. I'm sure if it had have been twins, I would have survived but.....I hope you can understand this. Again, I meant no disrepect at all and I do apologize if I offended anyone.

Sisi1......sorry to hear your news but hang on until Monday and get the final word. Sending you a hug.

Kelly....understandable....we will miss you!!

Sharon....sending you a hug too...hang in there!

Missy

sprouthaus · Post by **sprouthaus** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:58 pm

Hi ladies,

I am seeking advice from an older crowd - so I hope you don't mind me barging in. Have any of you ever had your AMH (antiMullerian hormone) levels tested? I have just found out mine are incredibly low, 0.3 when normal is well above 16 or even 25 for that matter.

Just looking for anyone who has knowledge of AMH and possibly success stories too.

Baby dust to all of you!

garfieldtracy · Post by **garfieldtracy** » Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:48 pm

Just a crashing this thread to post a reply to sprouthaus. My AMH was a .5 when I was tested at 41/42. As you say the lower the worse, so yours is a little lower then mine, BUT NOT 0. I am considered "average" for my age. As you see my signature - we did get PG - the lose was due to a placenta problem - not the baby. So you can get PG. Keep the PMA up.
Tracy

IVF over 40 Buddy Group........Membership Drive

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