unexplained infertility 4years ttc

wishfulthinking · Post by **wishfulthinking** » Tue Apr 07, 2009 7:51 pm

really don't know where to start. i suppose i'm just posting this to try and express myself. i keep my feelings to myself too much. i always told myself i'd not let it get to me if i couldn't have children. so so easy to say that before it happens. it completely takes over your life. i been reading other peoples posts and i can see so many people feeling what i am. been told that neither of us has anything wrong. been taking clomid but no success. due back at the clinic next month and i'm so scared about taking the next step. i almost let infertility ruin my marriage 2 years ago. i pushed my husband away telling him to leave me. feelings that i've let him down by not giving him much wanted children made me feel he was better off without me. i was so wrong and we are still together but i hurt him badly and he now hates to talk about how either of us feel about trying for a baby. i have a couple of great friends but i just don't feel i can talk to them openly as how can they possibly understand when they have children? its helping to write on here. i am coping better these days but so scared i'll let things get to me again. does anyone understand how i'm feeling? i sometimes feel like i'm being pathetic but we can't help how things effect us can we?

elles · Post by **elles** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 4:23 pm

hi
I was so touch in reading your story ,really it touch me to the core as i've been there and I know how you are feeling. I suffered from 3 miscarriage and one ectopic which really destroy me very badly. Isuffered from bad deppression after this but manage to pull myself together to continue with my life. to make matters worse my husband has kids from a previouse relationship, so you can imagine the pain.

However after a lot of praying and not thinking about getting pregnant but enjoying my relationship with my husband last year on 13th april I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl name kerryl-maria.

So there is hope at the end of the tunnel , please do not despair.
I will pray for you to make your dream comes true.

elles

to_have_fun08 · Post by **to_have_fun08** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:22 pm

wishfulthinking - You are not in this alone. I think the best thing would communicate more with your DH. Make and appointment with an RE and get what options are open for you. Then talk it over with DH and try an make it more comfortable to talk about. If you really want a baby then you are going to have to face this at some point. Might as well be now. I also have unexplained infertility and have been ttc for 4 years. For me the best way to cope is to have a plan. Sitting in limbo just drives me insane. Wishing you the best of luck and post here as often as you want. This board has saved my sanity many many of times.

wishfulthinking · Post by **wishfulthinking** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:50 pm

Thank you so much for your replies. it really does help to hear back from people in similar situations

at last it feels like there are people out there who understand me. thanks

bdantonio · Post by **bdantonio** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:18 pm

I am the one with the issues and my dh has none. I told him plenty of days to leave me. However we have been to Hell and returned and it only made us stronger in the end and we have 2 dd

nebis · Post by **nebis** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 9:42 pm

Hi from Turkey.I accidentally came across this web site .I suffer from unexplained infertility .
I had 3 IVF teatment but they were unsucessful.The main problem was that ,although everything went so well during the treatments the embryos stopped their development before the transfer

We had all the genetic tests but nothing could be found.

Is there anybody in this forum had the same experience?

dixie_chop · Post by **dixie_chop** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 12:36 pm

You are not alone! I think the worst part is not having people around you to talk to that truelly understand. That is what makes this board so helpful. Me and my DH have been trying for almost 4 years as well and also have unexplained infertility. We did a few cylces of medications with IUI and timed intercoarse with no results. I was so afraid of the next step (being IVF) that we took a year off. I think I was in a little shock that we would have to go to that level. I always thought that the medications would work. Anyway, after a year break, we started IVF and were successful on our first attempt. We are now 7 weeks pregnant. I know how scary the "next step" is, but honestly, I wish we hadn't taken that year off. The IVF experience was great for us and went by so fast. So talk with your DH, and if you both want this, go for it!

desperate · Post by **desperate** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:38 pm

dixie_chop wrote:You are not alone! I think the worst part is not having people around you to talk to that truelly understand. That is what makes this board so helpful. Me and my DH have been trying for almost 4 years as well and also have unexplained infertility. We did a few cylces of medications with IUI and timed intercoarse with no results. I was so afraid of the next step (being IVF) that we took a year off. I think I was in a little shock that we would have to go to that level. I always thought that the medications would work. Anyway, after a year break, we started IVF and were successful on our first attempt. We are now 7 weeks pregnant. I know how scary the "next step" is, but honestly, I wish we hadn't taken that year off. The IVF experience was great for us and went by so fast. So talk with your DH, and if you both want this, go for it!

We have been trying for about 4 years now ourselves and still no results. We would go for IVF if it didn't cost 10 grand, which we don't have. We are still childless. Really, really sux major big time.

dixie_chop · Post by **dixie_chop** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 11:21 pm

I hear ya on that one! Its $20k at our clinic but thats w/ a guarentee and you get up to 6 tries. But $20k is a crap load of money!!! We were lucky to have family loan us the money but we want it paid off before we have the baby and also b/c we don't like owing family money. The last few months have definitely been tight and we don't do as much as we used to but I remind myself its worth it in the end.
Have you looked into the healthcare financing loans? CareCredit offers one. Sometimes there interests rates are bad though and a regular credit card is cheaper. Also there is an organization that helps donate money to people that need ferility treatments that can't afford it. Its www.cadefoundation.org . You should check it out.
Hope that helps.

Preeddy09 · Post by **Preeddy09** » Wed Jan 06, 2010 12:50 am

I was reading Cancer-Gate, How to Win the Losing Cancer War by Samuel S. Epstein, M.D. It is packed with great information that is backed by good research. As related to "unexplained infertility" permit me to

motherhoodHopes · Post by **motherhoodHopes** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 1:18 am

Wishfulthinking- As I read your post, I felt as if I were reading something that I had written myself. The words seem to be right from my own mind and I can relate to your emotions. I too have unexplained infertility and have been TTC for about 4 years. My husband and have been through some very difficult conversations. I know how it feels to want to push the love of your life away because you don't want to "bring them down with you". For a long time I felt so much guilt in my heart. My husband in fine, but he may never have children because he is with me. That broke my heart because I know he will be an amazing father. Luckily my husband is very persistent and pretty much ignored my craziness... until one day when he grabbed my shoulders, looked me right in the eyes and said "I love you, I have always loved you and I will always love you. Whether we have children of our own or not, we are in this together." His reassurance eased my guilt a little, but I still held it in my heart without saying anything. We tried Clomid and got pregnant after 20 months, but miscarried at 10 weeks. We again went back to Clomid, but was unsuccessful at the max dose for 2 cycles of 4 months each. From there our Dr. recommended IVF. This past Sept. we went into debt and started our First IVF cycle. I got OHSS, so my transfer was postponed and the embryos were frozen. I under went an FET in Dec and am thrilled, but nervous to say I am pregnant. I want you to try to stay positive. Infertility is a horrid thing that no one should have to experience. It can tear you apart from the inside out. Please know that you are not alone. The pain, frustration, anger and hopelessness that is felt can be very overwhelming, just remember we are all here for you. This support is what has helped me through. (Especially when in seems all the people in real life just have children without problems... at least in my real life).
Take care. You and the rest of the members are in my thoughts and prayers for peace, comfort and your hearts desire.

jenice · Post by **jenice** » Sat Apr 03, 2010 2:45 am

Wishfulthinking - It is a horrible thing infertility. I remember those feelings like it was yesterday. I've lost several pregnancies, multiple surgeries and feel emotionally scarred and that will never change. But I also have a DD that has made every second of hell turn into a little piece of heaven. Hang in there . You never know when things can change in your favor. Infertility does test every aspect of your life, doesn't it ? It tests your patience, your sanity, and your emotions and your marriage. Try not to let it split you and DH apart. Try to take one day @ a time, that is all we can do

I'm trying for another 2.5 years later no luck and 2 cancelled and 2 failed IVF cycles later. Now I have the guilt of not being able to give my DD a sibling, does it ever end ???? I was preggo with an FET and miscarried and we had told DD we were having a baby, she was sooo upset

I'll never tell her again, until I'm further along

I know everyone thinks I'm crazy for doin IVF for a second child. I should be thankful for what I have, I've heard over and over again. I just always wanted a couple of kids. Our end of the road is near and I'm starting to accept that now.

I wish you the best and tons of baby dust too

emmy81 · Post by **emmy81** » Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:01 pm

I completely sympathise hun ,

we are coming up to 4 years ttc with no luck and no real explination for it, clomid did'tn work and the waiting list for ivf is so long its depressing. And just today one of my best friends has told me she is pregnant after just one month of trying and it happened so quickly her husband is'nt even sure he wants kids yet. To try and be supportive for others when inside your falling apart is the worst part.

But on the plus side thank god for this site, its a comfort to know that others are feeling the same x

expectant-mom · Post by **expectant-mom** » Sun Jun 27, 2010 1:27 am

wishfulthinking,

I just want you to know that I know exactly where you are coming from. My hubby and I were TTC for a long time before we had any success, and I'm still convinced it was a fluke! You have to remember to keep your head up. Every day the docs are finding new techniques to help women conceive, and there's more and more research into ancient techniques that may actually be effective. Don't lose hope! (hugs)

cabhi80 · Post by **cabhi80** » Sat Nov 27, 2010 7:28 pm

Hi all,
i have been married for 9 years and ttc for 4 years now....DH has issues with the count as it is never stable...multiple clomid cycles, 5 IUI's , 1 cancelled IVF and 1 failed IVF later...i am in consolable...I am not sure what to do..DH becomes quite emotionally unstable if i discuss anything to improve....so much that he deprives me of the affection i need to cope in this situation...i have to handle my emotions as well as appear calm to him so that he stays normal.
My first cycle was cancelled as he could not provide the sample owing to anxiety..it took me 2 months to bring him out of his depression...i havent told either set of parents and do not have friends who can understand my dilemma, as all of them have kids..there families are complete..how can they ever understand what i am going through???
DH was initially reluctant to have kids...and now this is happening...i am not sure what to do...he doesnt take any treatment,..and is reluctant to talk...i love him but i guess he is unaware of my pain and just lost in his own world...sometimes i feel sucidal...sometimes just blank...totally absent...
pray for me !!! only god know how long is the road ahead of me....