Hello,
My name is Shiona Glass, and I'm a first year university student at the University of Guelph. I'm currently taking a course on the science of assisted reproductive technology. This course has changed my view of assisted reproduction, and I'm planning on working towards a doctorate so I will be able to provide these services to others.
I've read many messages on this message board, and you have a very supportive, positive environment here. I would love it if you would answer a few questions for me that I can use in a seminar presentation. I'm basing this seminar on the emotional pressures associated with A.R.T. All credit will be given to you, and any privacy concerns you may have will be dealt with as you please.
What were your questions when you first decided to go through assisted reproductive treatments?
Are the diagnostic and therapeutic services you went/go through intrusive?
Do any of the procedures make you uncomfortable (physically, or emotionally)?
If so, what measures are taken by your clinic to make you more comfortable?
Have you ever felt depressed after a failed treatment cycle?
What types of emotional support are available to you through your clinc?
Have you gone through counseling? If so, what does it entail? Are pre-treatment AND post-treatment counseling sessions available?
Thank you very much for your time. I really appreciate it, and I know my class and professors will as well. If you have any additional information you think I should cover, please include it as well.
-Shiona
Could you answer a few questions for me?
HI there
will try to answer some f you queries
my questions were all quite scientific - I wanted to facts and figures- honest success rates and make sure I wasnt just another experiment / someone they could charge alot of money too. I spent alot of time reading everythign i could about the procedures (ICSI and TESE). we may have to use a donor - and I had and still have MASSES of more emotional questions aboutt he imoact of using a donor on me, my husband and the child. In particular I wanted info on how it worked if you chose not to tell anyone about the donor thing - and of course that impassible to get - except here!
Yes the therapies are intrusive, but I have found nurses very sympathetic on the whole(I have gone privately - it may be different in big hospitals - you'd have to check with other girls)....but I'm totally not bothered by it. you just get on with it I think. I have never been uncomfortable with the procedures- i have tended to "joke" my way thru it. I think its more uncomfortable for my husband to watch!
Yes I have felt massively depressed and very emotional after failed tmt. I am better now (9 months on!), but still have bad moments - especially when friemds get pregnant.
Your emotions after failed tmt arent helped by the fact that you've been pumped full of hormones ahead of it. i did find that the follow up from my clinic was pro-active enough after failed tmt.
Clinic offered us councelling for using a donor sperm. We went once - pretty useless I thought. It IS good to have a third party asking you objective questions -but they dont give you any answers. I really wanted to hear about other peoples experiences and the councellor just said " well I cant answer that because I never see anyone for a follow up!!". GREAT! I actually see this website as the best "councelling"
hope that helps a bit
good luck
will try to answer some f you queries
my questions were all quite scientific - I wanted to facts and figures- honest success rates and make sure I wasnt just another experiment / someone they could charge alot of money too. I spent alot of time reading everythign i could about the procedures (ICSI and TESE). we may have to use a donor - and I had and still have MASSES of more emotional questions aboutt he imoact of using a donor on me, my husband and the child. In particular I wanted info on how it worked if you chose not to tell anyone about the donor thing - and of course that impassible to get - except here!
Yes the therapies are intrusive, but I have found nurses very sympathetic on the whole(I have gone privately - it may be different in big hospitals - you'd have to check with other girls)....but I'm totally not bothered by it. you just get on with it I think. I have never been uncomfortable with the procedures- i have tended to "joke" my way thru it. I think its more uncomfortable for my husband to watch!
Yes I have felt massively depressed and very emotional after failed tmt. I am better now (9 months on!), but still have bad moments - especially when friemds get pregnant.
Your emotions after failed tmt arent helped by the fact that you've been pumped full of hormones ahead of it. i did find that the follow up from my clinic was pro-active enough after failed tmt.
Clinic offered us councelling for using a donor sperm. We went once - pretty useless I thought. It IS good to have a third party asking you objective questions -but they dont give you any answers. I really wanted to hear about other peoples experiences and the councellor just said " well I cant answer that because I never see anyone for a follow up!!". GREAT! I actually see this website as the best "councelling"
hope that helps a bit
good luck
Hi Shiona,
I remember from when I first started looking into treatment I really didn't know what to expect and didn't know what questions to ask. I felt like the doctor I saw didn't really give me any info unless I asked, and I didn't know what to ask so I never felt I knew what was happening and why. I felt stupid asking questions I suppose, like I should have known the answers. When I first find out I needed to have treatment it was a very emotional time, why me? why can everyone else get pregnant and only me that needs treatment? I still feel like this especially when I see people with children they don't really seem to want, it seems so unfair.
I do not find the scans particularly intrusive now, maybe because I am so used to them and I switch off, and I do also tend to try and make a joke of it aswell but it's the emotional side of it I have the most difficulty with.
The scans themselves are not uncomfortable physically and egg collection is under sedation and I don't suffer from much pain afterwards but I have never had many eggs to collect.
Depressed? Yes, but I try to be strong and try and focus on the next cycle which could be the positive one. Failure does affect every aspect of your life, I have found I have lost confidence at work and am probably more prone to emotional outbursts since having treatment. My husband does not find it easy to talk about and that can be a strain.
Counselling is available at my clinic but it is not pushed hard, I have not had it. I have had 3 cycles cancelled due to poor response, and two negatives following embryo transfer but my clinic has not mentioned counselling to me after any of these. I find this site invaluable for talking to others in the same situation, this is where I get my counselling, as Caz says.
Hope this has answered some of your questions, please send me an email or a personal message if you need any more info
Good luck with your doctorate
Kat
I remember from when I first started looking into treatment I really didn't know what to expect and didn't know what questions to ask. I felt like the doctor I saw didn't really give me any info unless I asked, and I didn't know what to ask so I never felt I knew what was happening and why. I felt stupid asking questions I suppose, like I should have known the answers. When I first find out I needed to have treatment it was a very emotional time, why me? why can everyone else get pregnant and only me that needs treatment? I still feel like this especially when I see people with children they don't really seem to want, it seems so unfair.
I do not find the scans particularly intrusive now, maybe because I am so used to them and I switch off, and I do also tend to try and make a joke of it aswell but it's the emotional side of it I have the most difficulty with.
The scans themselves are not uncomfortable physically and egg collection is under sedation and I don't suffer from much pain afterwards but I have never had many eggs to collect.
Depressed? Yes, but I try to be strong and try and focus on the next cycle which could be the positive one. Failure does affect every aspect of your life, I have found I have lost confidence at work and am probably more prone to emotional outbursts since having treatment. My husband does not find it easy to talk about and that can be a strain.
Counselling is available at my clinic but it is not pushed hard, I have not had it. I have had 3 cycles cancelled due to poor response, and two negatives following embryo transfer but my clinic has not mentioned counselling to me after any of these. I find this site invaluable for talking to others in the same situation, this is where I get my counselling, as Caz says.
Hope this has answered some of your questions, please send me an email or a personal message if you need any more info
Good luck with your doctorate
Kat
Hi shiona
mmm not sure where to start when i first started on this long road i knew basically nothing about ivf and icsi i wanted to know everything all the facts i read and i read and i read i asked girls on here who are great i now feel like im an expert in the ivf icsi field even my consultant was impressed with what i knew im due to start my first icsi cycle in july this year so i cant really comment on what it feels like on a failed cycle and i pray i never can, but the emotions you go throug on this journey are really quite amazing i have felt like there is nothing left here for me at times and felt so so so so depressed it has been so hard to just get out of bed in the mornings, i have cried and cried and asked why us but there are no answers to these questions as for counselling my hospital does offer it but i havent had any so far i dont feel i need it altho mayb i do its hard to tell i really dont feel it would make any difference to me i know all the facts i still have to go thro the icsi cycle my fear will always be there no matter what, i have always been a strong person i think but this has made me a whole lot stronger going thro this hell as i call it i get stonger each day, of course there are bad days when i feel i cant go thro it and have my doubts still if i actually will go thro it but i take one day at a time i think thats what we all do i am one of the lucky ones i do have a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship but the pain is still there, still deep deep pain the feeling of being a failure is still stong.
As for the medical part it really doesnt bother me now i just get on with it my clinic is wonderful iv had so many tests and stuff done now it doesnt bother me at all altho having icsi scares the s**t out of me
i really hope i haveny gone on toooo much hope some of this helps
Love Ang xx
mmm not sure where to start when i first started on this long road i knew basically nothing about ivf and icsi i wanted to know everything all the facts i read and i read and i read i asked girls on here who are great i now feel like im an expert in the ivf icsi field even my consultant was impressed with what i knew im due to start my first icsi cycle in july this year so i cant really comment on what it feels like on a failed cycle and i pray i never can, but the emotions you go throug on this journey are really quite amazing i have felt like there is nothing left here for me at times and felt so so so so depressed it has been so hard to just get out of bed in the mornings, i have cried and cried and asked why us but there are no answers to these questions as for counselling my hospital does offer it but i havent had any so far i dont feel i need it altho mayb i do its hard to tell i really dont feel it would make any difference to me i know all the facts i still have to go thro the icsi cycle my fear will always be there no matter what, i have always been a strong person i think but this has made me a whole lot stronger going thro this hell as i call it i get stonger each day, of course there are bad days when i feel i cant go thro it and have my doubts still if i actually will go thro it but i take one day at a time i think thats what we all do i am one of the lucky ones i do have a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship but the pain is still there, still deep deep pain the feeling of being a failure is still stong.
As for the medical part it really doesnt bother me now i just get on with it my clinic is wonderful iv had so many tests and stuff done now it doesnt bother me at all altho having icsi scares the s**t out of me
i really hope i haveny gone on toooo much hope some of this helps
Love Ang xx