Newbie, from Victoria BC

[rhiannon_lyn]

Hi Everyone

I am new to this site and to this new adventure.

I just found out yesterday that my FSH level is raised, my egg supply is low, I am over 45 and well, understandable that it would be higher.

I do have two older children from a previous marriage. My ex was fooling around on me and I found out. It happened so often that well, once shame on him and twice shame on me.

My husbands family has no grandchildren and well I am the only hope for them. My in-laws have two sons, one whom never wnats children and my husband wants children with me, but our journey has been a hard one. miscarriages, finally blocked tubes, and now the eggies are week. We would love a child. We searching for an egg donor, in the Victoria, BC area.

I just wrote a letter this morning to my in-laws, explaining to them what was happening in our conception. I know they will be so sad, but I won't stop trying just yet. I love my husband and would like nothing better than to give he, myself and his family a child.

I am not hopful as it is hard to find egg donors in our area. But I will pray and hope that we sill find one.

I am so sad and feel so lonely. I don't have anyone I can talk to other than my husband. This is very hard. I feel like telling my husband that maybe he should fine another partner so that he can have the joy of a baby, child, etc. I feel so helpless. Yesterday, I even felt like just walking away, disappear so he would fnd someone else.

I am so sad.

[cressicaw@hotmail.com]

rhiannon,

You are definetly not alone in your jorney. I personally, am a split-donor for IVF this month (meaning I will give up half my eggs to for someone like you, it helps because it alleviates the cost for us by half). I am so scared and nervous that I may not get the good ones but I am happy to help someone else too. I was told as long as someone has young donor eggs (I am at the very height of that, I am 33) there chances of conceiving are very high!

I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Try to stay positive, you need lots of it to make it through this incredibly tough experience.

Also, you are blessed to have children of your own and it sounds like your husband is very blessed to have you.

Everything will work out.

Whether you believe you can or you cant... You are right!!!

[rhiannon_lyn]

Thank you for the encouragement. It is definatly hard. I know things will go well for you and the other couple. I did wonder about the split egg thing, but it will go well. You are right though it is a dificult time for all of us..

Yes, I am blessed to have children, for sure, but I guess I feel greedy at times as I would like to have one of my husbands also. I feel a little well, kind of off because I have children, I can't explain it, I am I gues embarrased that I am asking for help to have more. I am sure some say well, you already have children, why bother helping her out, I will help someone whom dosen't have children. I can understand that forsure.

I know this will happen, I am just scared, a normal scared. I live in Canada and it is different here for egg donor, but life goes on. I really like my Dr, he has directed us this route, and I am positive he knows this is best for us.

I wish all of us lots of prayers and luck throughout our journey. I will try to keep a stiff upper lip as they say, but sometimes I just feel alone.
Thanks for the ego booster it sure helps.
Hugs