Need Advice

jenpat · Post by **jenpat** » Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:46 pm

Hello all!

I am a long time reader but a first time poster so please accept my apologies for any redundancy.

I am a 34-year old female with no known fertility problems. My husband is 32 with low sperm count & poor morphology.

We tried IVF w/ICSI back in March/April with no success. I was completely devestated as I imagine all of us are with the dreaded BFN results.
During our cycle, we got 9 eggs, 5 of which fertilized. Two 6-cell, Grade C (average) were implanted on day 3 & the remaining 3 embryos didnt divide properly so were discarded...no freezing.

We have decided to try the IVF one more time...as this is all we feel we can afford. The Lord has blessed us with insurance coverage for the medications but not the procedure.

The doctor is going to try a different approach this time...the IVF antagonist protocol. He said given my age & health, I should have produced many more eggs therefore at least giving us a chance at a freeze.

I took my last active BC pill today so as soon as I start my period, it's time. I get on the roller coaster ride again. But i just dont know if I am ready because i know once I start - this is it - all my hope & prayers are riding on this cycle. I dont think i am emotionally ready - but are you ever really ready to do this a 2nd, 3rd, or so on time??

I know this is a long post but i need some advice from people who have been here before. When doing this multiple times, do you ever know "it's time" to try again?

Thanks for any and all advice,
Jen

dogzrule · Post by **dogzrule** » Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:57 pm

Being a 1st timer at the moment, I can't offer you advice. I just wanted to give you a hug. (((hug)))

Annie973 · Post by **Annie973** » Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:26 pm

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle...I know how hard it is. We went through 3 failed IUI's and a chemical pregnancy with our first IVF. We had embies to freeze with that first cycle but none of them made it through the thaw. On our second IVF attempt we were blessed and are about to welcome twins in a few weeks. I really believe having a positive attitude helps a lot. I know thats not always easy after so much disapointment and heartache. I went into my last cycle very scared and nervous that it wouldnt work but as time went on I convinced myself that it would work this time. We even had the picture of the two embies they transferred on our fridge and we named them and talked to them. (Ironically we named them a boy and girl name and we are having boy/girl twins!) I know it sounds a little crazy but I really think that's what made the difference for us and of course a lot of prayers! All my previous cycles I didnt have a good attitude and thought none of them would work.....I guess I was just trying to protect myself in case of a BFN. Sorry if I'm rambling I guess what I'm trying to say is try to go into this cycle with a really positive attitude that it will work. If that's not possible maybe wait a little while longer.....

Good luck I know you'll get your BFP!!!!

Annie973 · Post by **Annie973** » Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:26 pm

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle...I know how hard it is. We went through 3 failed IUI's and a chemical pregnancy with our first IVF. We had embies to freeze with that first cycle but none of them made it through the thaw. On our second IVF attempt we were blessed and are about to welcome twins in a few weeks. I really believe having a positive attitude helps a lot. I know thats not always easy after so much disapointment and heartache. I went into my last cycle very scared and nervous that it wouldnt work but as time went on I convinced myself that it would work this time. We even had the picture of the two embies they transferred on our fridge and we named them and talked to them. (Ironically we named them a boy and girl name and we are having boy/girl twins!) I know it sounds a little crazy but I really think that's what made the difference for us and of course a lot of prayers! All my previous cycles I didnt have a good attitude and thought none of them would work.....I guess I was just trying to protect myself in case of a BFN. Sorry if I'm rambling I guess what I'm trying to say is try to go into this cycle with a really positive attitude that it will work. If that's not possible maybe wait a little while longer.....

Good luck I know you'll get your BFP!!!!

jen8675309 · Post by **jen8675309** » Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:58 am

Hey Jen ~

I also can't totally relate because I had my twins on my first IVF try, but wanted to send you some positive vibes! I can tell you that during my IVF, I made a conscious decision to stay positive and relaxed and "let the chips fall where they may". You are very lucky that your meds are covered! Have you tried accupunture? I think that really helped me during my IVF experience. I'm not sure what they called my protocol, but I took Follistim and Ganerelix. I was also 31 and in perfect reproductive health (we did ICSI). I'm glad that your RE is changing things up a bit for you. It sounds like you are off to a great start! Try to relax and be positive!

Keep us posted!

Hopeful in SD · Post by **Hopeful in SD** » Sun Jul 26, 2009 7:48 am

Hi Jen,

We are towards the end of cycle #4. We NEVER thought we'd go past #2, as it is ALL out of pocket, but we've been too close to give up.

I hadn't been on this board for awhile, but I knew I needed to communicate with women who know how I feel, what I'm going through, can give first hand advice, and I can do the same for others. So, I started reading the forums a few weeks ago and then finally logged back in. I'm so glad I did. The first thing I was reminded of was to keep a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) and I needed to remember that. I've gotten other advice and reassurance the past week and I'm so grateful. There are a lot of wonderful women on this site.

Someone else suggested acupuncture ... this is my first time trying it and I totally recommend it. It sounds scary, but it is sooo relaxing and sounds like just what you need.

I hope you feel better about this cycle and know there are a lot of us on this site you can lean on.

gi · Post by gi » Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:14 pm

Hi jenpat,

Sorry to hear about your bfn. I am about to start my 6th attempt, my 1st 4 cycles were bfn we were even told we would never have kids but i told them if they dont have faith then we will change clinics. We got genetic testing done and all clear, we are both 29 and together have decided that no matter what we will keep going even if it takes 10 trys. We finally got pregnant in May this year but at 7.5 wks heartbeat was weak and we had a d&c at 9 wks, it was the worst time ever but even the day of d&c we were discussing next try with our doctor! I only get between 5 - 8 eggs and i was shocked last time i actually had some to freeze as that never happens. You need to be strong to keep going but for us its mind over matter, when i get a bfn i cry for a little bit but ring doc. and get ball rolling again, its what we really want its still a long battle but we will win the war!! Everybody is different and some take the neg a lot harder than others, you will know when the time comes to stop but my only advise is have no regrets in 10 years time when you reflect on all this dont regret that you didnt give it your best shot, dont have any "what if's". We all only have a certain length of time to do this, our hearts will heal be happy with your decision. Fingers crossed it will happen this time for you xxx

gi xx

jenpat · Post by **jenpat** » Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:07 pm

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful words of encouragement!!

After a long 24-hours of thought & a great church service this morning, I have decided to wait one month...to begin my cycle in September. I dont imagine I will be any more "emotionally" ready for this but I think I need to give this whole situation to God & realize he makes things possible when doctors say impossible.

I wish everyone much luck & many blessings. I will be praying for all my new fertility friends!!

I will keep you posted!! thanks again!!

dogzrule · Post by **dogzrule** » Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:58 pm

jenpat - I cannot BEGIN to tell you the many miracles God has done for us through this whole thing. We're just waiting for the final miracle on Wednesday when He gives us our BFP! He truly is a great and mighty God who can do all things, and no plan of His can be thwarted! (((hugs)))

shelbyrn0214 · Post by **shelbyrn0214** » Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:06 am

Hey, I think you have the right idea to wait until you are totally ready. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and God has a plan for all of us. We may not always like it, but everything works out. I'm also with you on the last try. We have to pay for everything out of pocket and have decided this is all we can do. So it's in His hands now!!!!We have already started a September thread. Come on over and join us if you like! Would love to have ya!

If you don't mind me asking, what does the antagonist protocol consist of?

mally · Post by **mally** » Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:51 pm

Hi, one can start all over again, by relying on your instinct. Most importantly make the body and mind must be made ready for th next trial; learn about some do's and dont's that have aided others in the past, and see how some may be useful for you.

Best of Luck

kellyeatc · Post by **kellyeatc** » Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:23 pm

This is my second attempt and it took me 3 years to get here. I have taken the " speak as it will happen" approach and am expecting a BFP. Of course, I am a sensible person and know that it is not completely in my hands but I remain hopeful.
You are ready when YOU are ready...
Good luck to you and please keep us all posted..
-kellye

Need Advice

Need Advice

Advertisements