Quit my job???

[kuldud]

Hi all,

My DH & I have been ttc for the past 3 yrs. Initially I was diagnosed with PCOS and so was taking metformin and then had a lap done in Oct 2008 to figure out what was going on inside. So we found that I had one blocked and the other one worked fairly well. Then started on IUI last DEC and went ahead with no positive results for almost 6 to 7 cycles. Also the last 2 cycles were with injectibles. Since everything turned out to be futile, our last resort was IVf. So I underwent the whole cycle( July 09) of stims,bloodwork,u/s, retreival and finally transfer.....I just found out last week that it didnt work out this cycle too. I was completely devastated ....I have been working for almost 3 yrs now...and my job I would say is just gets hectic exactly when I have an IUI or IVF cycle....so all this has been pretty stressful on both of us...so now my next option it to wait for a month or 2 ....and probably start another cycle of IVF in Oct.....At this point I am actually planning to quit my job and relax for sometime before i move on with next cycle....Can you women pls give my ur inputs regarding this since I am very confused at this point. I have explained that I am undergoing fertility treatment to my boss numerous times. He was fine at the beginning where I used to have a couple of u/s appt's(during IUI)...but for IVF when I had many more appts and had to take a day off for ER...and then I took like 2 days off for ET....and worked from home the next 2 days....he wasnt really happy abt it....Now it is at that point where it is getting hectic at work and I might have to work a bit more during weekends..etc...so I am not sure how he might handle it when I ask him for another 3 to 4 days off from work...so with all these thoughts..I am beginning to think...maybe i should just quit my job and just stop worrying about work and relax for sometime.......getting this feeling that I deserve it ...........and I am very sorry for this really long post and thanks for patience and time reading my post...

[baylorbear33]

Certainly this is something that would need to be considered from many angles. Be sure to consider the financial aspect, health benefits, etc. Not to mention the satisfaction that you get from your job in some way. For me, working does two things: 1) it provides us with a much more comfortable lifestyle financially and it makes me feel good about contributing to our family financially, and 2) it gives me purpose in my day. It keeps me on my toes, keeps me engaged, and keeps my mind occupied when I am over-analyzing every little symptom. Have you done any research to see if you could take "personal leave" without giving up your job permanently? Perhaps your treatment could be covered under FMLA (assuming you are in the US) This is certainly a very personal decision, just my two cents worth.

[pattieh]

I don't think you should leave your job unless your husband can support both of you easily. The job market is really tough these days. Maybe you can take a medical leave of absence instead?

[cymplicity27]

If we could have afforded it I definitely would have quit! Two reason I didn't though is because my salary is currently higher than DH's (obviously contributing to the bulk of our finances) and my insurance is covering IVF. People are different and some may feel the "need" to work for whatever reason. I for one don't believe in stressing myself out at any job. Nothing is worth that. I was lucky enough to have an extremely supportive boss through my process and stress free job, but I couldn't imagine dealing with stress from work and infertility treatments.

My plan is to only work a few more years and DH and I both look forward to me staying home with the kids anyway. You'll hear from career women who couldn't conceive of giving up their careers and others like me who look forward to being a SAHM. All are personal choices and there's no right or wrong answer. Not saying you're talking about giving up your career forever but I think a lot of opinions will stem from that.

I've come across plenty of women on this board who have quit their jobs during this process (and yes I've been envious, lol). Sounds like you really want to quit. Work it out with DH and do what's best for you.

[psahadat88]

I agree with your post, she should not leave her job especially with the economy the way it is. THere are more options then quitting your job, like taking fmla, or just taking personal time, not quitting, and if you have to make up the work at home, that is a great option, you can do your work give the boss, what he/she needs and both of you are happy. The benefits, out weigh the cons, and you still need your medical insurance for just in case, so i totally agree with you.

I don't think you should leave your job unless your husband can support both of you easily. The job market is really tough these days. Maybe you can take a medical leave of absence instead?