December 2009 Mommies

[Trying for another Angel]

I have had one of the worst weeks of my life and really need to vent. My DH and I have just separated. We have been fighting alot lately. I think alot of it due to my crazy pregnancy emotions. He says he hasn't been happy in the last few years, but now with all of our fighting he has realized we just aren't right for each other. He thinks we are way to different of people and that we don't belong together. he can't be himself with me. I want to work it out, but he is done trying. He just left today. Its so devastating. I think I'm still in shock. We had to tell our 6 yr old son today that his Dad wouldn't be sleeping here anymore. The timing of this is the worst since I'm pregnant. I feel like what should be a happy time for me has now turned into a living nightmare. I feel so alone. I can't believe he could do this. We have been together for almost 10 years. I would do anything to save my marriage, but my DH isn't willing to try anymore. I'm such a wreck. Thanks for letting me vent. Also I'm trying to still eat for the baby but I have lost about 4 pounds in the last few days. I just don't have much appetite and my stress is so consuming. I can't sleep either. I feel so guilty and scared this may hurt the baby. Any advice is welcome.

[Sari]

Trying for another Angel - Sorry you are going through this hard moment. A while ago a very good friend went through this. He came to me and ask me what she can do. I ask her, is there another person? She said no, not him or her. It was only the fighting. I gave her 2 advises, first pray, pray a lot, the only one who can change hearts and situations is God, second go to counseling. My friend did and now, almost 1 year after they are happily married.

Take care of your self and your baby, remember he can feel whatever you are feeling.

Hoping for the best.

Sary

[kutekellie99]

Trying:
I am so sorry to hear about the separation! I know you must be miserable right now...and I don't think any of us will have just the right thing to say. But, we are all here for you and you can vent on here anytime you want...we'll listen!
My husband and I have had quite a few fights since I got pregnant...and I guess it all comes from the fact that men don't understand what we are going through and we really just don't understand why they don't understand us. Really, IVF or any kind of fertility treatments are really stressful on a marriage too...when a couple make a baby "the old fashioned way", it's easy, stress free, and fun. But to go through countless doctor appointments, shots, hormones, the money, sadness if you don't get pregnant ....it's really hard to go through all that as a couple.
I have always wanted to be a mother, but my husband didn't really want kids. But, I talked him into trying IVF (I had blocked tubes that were removed) and I think he assumed that I wouldn't get pregnant; he told me that it was rare for IVF to work. When it did work and I was pregnant, he was actually upset and mad that it worked!! He was moody, mean, and distant for a month. It really hurt me that he acted that way...I was so happy and I wanted him to be happy too.
But, men are different than us and I KNOW my husband loves me...even if he doesn't always show it.
So, I really hope your husband comes around; maybe he just needs some time to himself, some time to think. I wish you luck and I hope everything goes well. We're all praying for you and your family and take care of that baby!!!

[aims327]

Ian - I'm seeing Dr. Wheeler. He's with Women's Health Advantage. I'm hoping everything is ok too since he's kicking his sister so much. I don't feel him as much though. I'm not sure if it's because he's smaller or what. He's also breech, so not sure if that has anything to do with it. I see Dr. Wheeler on the 14th.

Trying - I'm so sorry to hear about the separation. I am hoping and praying your DH just needs some time to think and come back. I wish I had some advice. What you are going through was my worst fear with my DH. My dad did the same thing to my mom when she was pregnant with me. Unfortunately, it didn't work out for them, but I am praying it does for you.

AFM - I'm trying not to worry about my baby boy. I just feel like I need to eat a lot to get him nutrients. This weekend has been good for me. I'm visiting with my family and I have a baby shower tomorrow. Well, I hope everyone has a good labor day weekend. Talk to you soon

[Trying for another Angel]

Thank you all for your advice. It's great to be able to talk on this thread to so many wonderful women.
Well my husband decided that he wants to come home today. (he was gone for 2 nights). I think he just needed the time to calm down and think. Although he seems to change his mind about things almost every day so he is obviously really confused. He told me that being away from our son was harder than he thought it would be and that was only after one night. I noticed he didn't say he missed me at all though. So he is coming home today, but I'm still not sure if he is just coming back here to stay until the baby is born or if he is coming back to give us a try. Right now I don't want to pressure him for any answers since he is so confused. I figure we will just take it a day at a time. We start going to counseling in a couple weeks. I'm praying that things will work out. I'm pretty sure there is no other woman.
I did go to my OB appt. a few days ago and the baby is doing good. He measured 1cm larger than normal. I was worried since I had lost weight. So far now I have only gained about 7-8 pounds. I'm making sure I don't skip any meals. I just can't eat as much lately since I'm so stressed. My OB is aware of what is going on and she wasn't to concerned about my stress hurting the baby. I'm just going to concentrate on getting things ready for the baby and hope that will take my mind off things.

I hope everyone is having a nice long weekend.

[kutekellie99]

Trying:
That's great, I'm glad to hear your DH is coming home. Best of luck to you! Men...can't live with them, can't live without them!

[aims327]

Trying - I'm so glad to hear that DH is coming home. I think taking it a day at a time is all you can do right now and counseling is a good step. Let us know how you're doing.

Ian - Are you doing any classes at Dupont? I'm taking the breastfeeding class this week on Thursday.

[ianmichael3]

Trying, I'm so sorry. I cannot imagine, but it does sound like a wonderful thing he is at least coming back. It is so much better to face your problems and at least try to work them out. I too will keep praying for you guys and your son, too. I'm glad to hear you have such a confident OB, it really matters.

AIMS: Nope, I'm not going to that one, so please be sure to let me know how it goes! I wish I could get into that one so we could meet, that would be nice. I'm going to the one in October. And I hope it isn't just me, but I've started leaking.......... sorry if that's TMI, but it was like the size of a silver dollar on my T-shirt Friday morning..... Yikes! Nothing that bad since then.

My next appt is this Thursday for my Gestational Diabetes screening- whoo-hoo.

[Tara2009]

Trying: It is wonderful that your DH is coming home. I hope you two will work it out and everything will be fine for you.

Ian: I also have my gestational diabetes test this Thursday!!

Aims: Hope you had a great baby shower last weekend.

I had my baby shower on Sept 5. It was a small closely knit family ceremony. Lots of love and fun. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It has brought up my spirits significantly.

Tara

[ianmichael3]

Tara: I loved my baby showers!!! I am hoping a friend of mine will throw one for me.... she's said something about it, but now I'm going to have to help plan a joint 60th birthday party for my mom and dad! YIKES!

To all of those who have yet to have one, I really hope you can enjoy them. Just BATHE in all of that attention!! You've worked very hard to get pregnant!!

[aims327]

Ian - I also started leaking a few weeks ago. It's not alot where I feel like I need to buy the pads but it's definitely there. I wish you could go to the class on Thursday too. It would be great to meet you too. DH was going to go with me but he will probably have to work, so I'm going to that class alone. We've already took the "Getting to know your newborn" class. I thought it was informative.

The baby shower was really nice. I got to see family I haven't seen in a really long time. Plus all the presents was nice too. I wasn't sure it was going to fit in our car. Since this shower was just with my family, I'm having another one in October with DH's family and some friends. It would have been nice to combine them but my family is 5 1/2 hours away. For those of you having showers soon, have fun!

[ianmichael3]

Aims: I have an appt with Rumsey tomorrow at Dupont at 1:15, so I'm going to go to Clothes Mentor to ravage their maternity racks and to Barb's New Beginnings for a new bra (the girls are no longer fitting in my 34 G

Trying: You are on my mind today, hoping all is well.

[aims327]

Ian - Tomorrow is your gestational diabetes test right? I'm really dreading mine. I have my test Monday along with the appointment with Dr. Wheeler. Shopping sounds like fun. I haven't been to Barb's new beginnings. I just bought a new bra at Motherhood but it's not working for me. I get so frustrated bra shopping because I'm not on the small side.

Has anyone else's ankles started swelling? I had some swelling a few weeks ago but not much since until tonight. I can't even see my ankle bone.

[Sari]

Hello:

Aims - I know you are with twins and maybe thats why you are swelling already. But somebody gave me this advise and I want to share it with you. Lower your salt intake, look for the sodium on the products, less is better. Drinks lots of water and visit a dentist. This thing lower the chance of preclamsia and one of the signs of preclamsia is the swelling.

Trying - I hope everything is on the right road with DH, and you are feeling better.

AFM I am getting bigger and bigger but happy about it. My gestational diabetes test is today. I don't like that juice they give for the test. But, what can I do? All I could think last night was "I hope not to get hungry in the middle of the night".

Have a nice day!!!

[ianmichael3]

Good morning girls and bebe's!!

Aims: yep, my test is today. I had a nightmare last night that the nurses were trying to suffocate me! LOL! Not sure what that's all about! You said your breastfeeding class is today, right? Oh, and my ankles swell when I eat too much salty stuff. Walking really seems to help, followed by laying down on my side. I was really suprised!

Sari: I am liking getting bigger too, just hate seeing the cottage cheesey fat on my thighs!! LOL!! It's all good, and it will go away when I start to exercise after baby gets here.

Does anyone else feel kicks in there vaginal area? I swear this little one is resting SO LOW! It kinda scares me