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elaine uk · Post by **elaine uk** » Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:07 am

I have only posted once before ( under “Elaine B” ,but I can’t log in as that now ? ), way back in December just before I started my first IVF cycle, I some how could never find the words to write after that, so I just read instead.

3 and half years unexplained infertility one cycle and hey 4 February we had a strong positive. I could not believe it when DH said this so I had to ring the clinic back for a second telling.

On Tuesday I will still be 15 weeks pregnant – due date is still 12 October in between Juliana and Dawn. I thank all of you who post their fears and feelings because there will be a million girls who like me who were afraid to post, but reading your messages and replies gives us the courage to cope because people with normal lives and 4.2 children can never understand the anguish we are going through.

Easter Saturday my waters broke – way way to earlier. In hospital that weekend we saw Doctor after Doctor who would give us neither good news nor bad. They found the heartbeat, we even heard it for the first time – no fluid – that is not good is all they would say scans and scans heart beat and just a little bit fluid.

Tuesday we saw the Professor in charge of Foetal Medicine - he did a very detailed scan internally and externally. Legs, brain, hand (it even waved), kidneys, all seen, nucal fold 1.8 – that’s good?? Only 1cm pocket of fluid??? Not good. The Professor was frank. The baby’s lungs could not develop property without fluid. They could not tell if the sack had ruptured or if there was just a small hole. Could we give this baby a chance? 2 weeks to see if the water will reproduce and the sack repair, the lungs do not start to produce until 16 weeks. Every couple of days I can feel the fluid seeping away, with it the hope gets less and less.

This time last week I was still happily pregnant, baby growing, bibs and tiny suits just starting to arrive. My four year old nephew wanting to know where Auntie Elaine’s baby was going to sleep because he knows how much he means to us and he normally sleeps in the spare room.

Now I feel numb, is this happening to someone else? I am still pregnant and the baby is still happily growing but the chances if it surviving is very very low, but at least we are giving it a chance.

Each minute seems like an hour, just for a few seconds you forget, and then wham you remember, all the plans we had made for the next year – gone, we are living for the moment. Why Oh Why?

So I just wanted to thank you all for you support although I never posted I read, cried and got exited with you’s all

Good luck with all your happy events and when you get that little bundle in your arms, never let go.

The Professor said it just happened and the chances of it happening again are very very low. DH tells me each day Elaine take the positives out of this, we got pregnant first time
We can do it again, nothing is impossible.

xxxxx

Dagny · Post by **Dagny** » Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:49 am

Oh Elaine

I am so sorry to read your news but......please try to be positve. I know how hard it is only too well. I am really finding it hard to write to you as at the moment your world is crumbling around you and nothing anyone says will make much of a difference.

Miracles do happen Elaine. Your baby is fighting for survival and he/she may come through for you, only time will tell.

My heart is going out to you and your DH it really is. I really can empathise with you as you may already have read about my baby being diagnosed at 23 weeks pg with a severe heart defect and after having an amnio to see if she had a chromosome problem I gave birth to her at 24 weeks pg a week later and she died. Nothing and I repeat nothing prepares you for that believe me especially going through all the IVF's as well. Ironically she was clear of any chromosomality which we found out 2 weeks after her death. Our bodies have to take what nature throws at us and in some srange way we do cope - sometimes.

There is not much else I can say except we are all here for you and right behind you keeping everything crossed that it will all be OK.

Be strong Elaine and DH.

All my love Dagny xkx

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Sat Apr 17, 2004 11:43 am

Elaine

I have only just started posting myself as I didnt have the courage before. I used to read everyones messages also but I did not have the words to respond to them. Not sure if I have the right words now but I will try.

Please keep hoping and praying that your baby will survive like you say nothing is impossible. I feel the same about others not understanding - especially those who have children already but everyone here on this site does understand and their messages always give me hope even when I feel really low. I am going to try and be a regular poster now so if you ever need someone to talk to there are loads of us here ready to support you with whatever you are going through. Your DH sounds like he is helping you loads too so spend loads of time together during this difficult period.

Hoping and praying all goes well.
Take Care
Mimi
xxxx

GB · Post by GB » Sat Apr 17, 2004 6:36 pm

Hi Elaine
Just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping that all will turn out for the best.
There are no words....just try to be as strong and positive as you can.
All the best.
Lotsa luv
Gila.

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Sat Apr 17, 2004 8:17 pm

You poor love
I really an going to light you my new big fat candel and hope this brings you the luck you deserve, its sounds as if you have a very supportive and caring husband . we are all here for you whatever . Miracles do happen

PMA PMA PMA

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Trace x

Wibbs1 · Post by **Wibbs1** » Mon Apr 19, 2004 9:07 am

OMG

I am thinking of you and please do not give up hope, anything can happen but you need to stay postive, sometimes things are out of our control and we then deal with that when and IF its happens.
We are all preying for you both and you are in all of our thoughts, please if you can keep us posted.
Take care and rest.
Love
Wibbs
xxx

phil · Post by **phil** » Mon Apr 19, 2004 9:15 am

elaine, i am so sorry and sad this is happening. i pray that your baby will be ok and that you can find more strength everyday to get through the next two weeks. it must be so hard every minute of everyday.

please come and join us at anytime, writing down what you feel can help.

phil x

Helen Reid · Post by **Helen Reid** » Mon Apr 19, 2004 2:36 pm

Elaine
I am so sorry that this has happened we always seem to get over one hurdle and then there is another. I really do hope that everything goes well and i am sure your baby is a fighter.

Take care

Helen

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Mon Apr 19, 2004 3:18 pm

Elaine

I wanted to echo the others thoughts - it is dreadful for you and there is nothing we can do or say. I only hope you can get through this and it is the fairy tale ending you want
Love
Tracey
xxx

Dawn V · Post by **Dawn V** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:52 pm

Hi Elaine

I'm so sorry to read your post, I can't begin to imagine what you must be going through.
I don't want to raise your hopes too much but wanted to share a friend of a friends story with you.
At about 17 weeks pg her waters broke and the drs told her the baby wouldn't survive although the scan showed he was quite happy inside her. They gave her a steriod injection but a few days later she lost a lot more water so the dr's strongly suggested she terminate the pregnancy but she refused (she had already had a miscarriage and also given birth to a baby girl with down's syndrome at 22 weeks who sadly died) Anyway the dr's constantly gave her a poor prognosis but she went carried on and went into labour at 32 weeks and gave birth to a very healthy baby boy who I believe weighed about 5lbs and is now a real bruiser!!
I guess I just want to say never give up hope as miracles do happen and I hope and pray that it all works out for you.
Good luck
Dawn
xxxx

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