Yet another loss!

[starwishes]

Just need to vent my feelings after discovering my 10 week fetus has no heart beat. It's my 2nd miscarriage after 2nd round of IVF. At the moment I just want to give up doing any more IVFs- it feels like such a cruel blow. Worse still, I have to wait to come off the cyclogest before I can start bleeding- and goodness knows what that's going to be like this time round as my fetus was 9 weeks old when it stopped growing. I know rationally it's just nature's way, but it ain't easy!
Also they won't do any tests on me unless there's a 3rd miscarriage - part of me just doesn't want to try again, so to avoid the potential misery!

Anyone else in similar position?

xx

[gi]

Starwishes my ould july/august cycle buddy, i am so sorry for yet another loss i too lost my 1st baby at 7 wks and 2nd at 10 wks same as you stopped growing at 9 wks. I had a bit of spotting decided needed to get it ckd out and there was its perfectly formed lifeless body, they gave me a picture to keep and i will treasure it always. It is such a difficult for you and dh and i know only too well how you are feeling. I changed clinics and insisted on them doing tests as i cannot mentally or financially afford a 3rd miscarriage, the clinic said they only do tests after 3 losses but we insisted. Thank God we did as they showed numberous of things wrong with me - i have pcos, a biopsy showed i have a benign polyp which i am getting removed by d&c on Friday (weird having a d&c and not pg!) and most importantly i have Elevated Natural Killer cells - this means my body rejects all embryos and feutus it sees them as foreign objects and kills them (sad really thinking i want a baby soooo much and then my body kills them) but anyway all is not lost i am going on 13 different kinds of meds for this cycle and also going several times to be put on a drip this releases something which confuses the NK Cells seperates them from my blood and sends them to attack something else (not the embryos and feutus) and with monitoring and blood tests (to make sure these NK cells are kept away) i should be able to carry a baby. Sorry for the long post but if i was you i would Insist on getting all these tests done - mine was called the Chicago bloods (literally sent from ire to chicago as they are one of the best in world) it was expensive but worth every penny. You may not have the same problem but why risk another miscarriage. We need to put our foot down we are paying good money for ivf and need all the necessary tests done without these i would definatley m/c again.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers - am i correct in remembering you have family in Ireland and visited them just after your 1st bfp in july??

gi xxx

[starwishes]

Hello my Irish cycle pal!

How lovely to hear from you. I do remember you suffered those heartbreaking miscarriages- it's so unbelievably heartwrenching - I am completely with you there.
Anyway it was so encouraging to hear your story as I too was told they wouldn't do any tests until after a third miscarriage - and like you, I just don't think I could psychologically put myself or my poor DH through it again. So I too am going to insist on the tests. How interesting they found a reason for you - it sounds though that it is all under control and you are going to be so carefully monitored on your next round. That sounds really promising. When do you start your next round?

I can't come off my progesterone pessaries until Friday and then I guess I have to wait for the bleeding, although they may advise a D&C- I am dreading that part. Can I ask how it was for you? Did you have a D&C or did it pass naturally?

Anyway, thank you for your advice, it's really made a difference.
I will be thinking of you!
Xx
p.s. I was visiting my family in Co. Galway over new year(again after my bfp)- snow was everywhere and it was so beautiful- so much prettier than London in the slush!

[gi]

Hi starwishes,

I had d&c both times as i was only spotting and they said that the placenta was still growing so it could take a further 3months for my body to realise the baby had died. The d&c was fine and i insisted on having it for 2nd m/c as i was afraid to loose it naturally, i recovered very quickly mentally and physically cause i didnt have to experience the loss. You are right to insist on the tests if your clinic doesnt agree threaten to go elsewhere, there may be nothing wrong and another "one of those things" - dont you just hate hearing that!! but for me they were so worth it and i now have a plan of action. Having a d&c tomorrow (polyp removal) and starting the sniffer on Sunday!! Ec and ET end of feb and i am so excited i hate waiting around, i had my new clinics consult booked while waiting for d&c....nothing is going to stop me from getting a baby it will be worth every tear shed. And no more visiting Ireland for you if you get a BFP!! at least not until 20 wks!!
You and dh will be in my thoughts and prayers and i am here if you need to chat.

gi xxx

[starwishes]

Hi gi

Thank you for all your advice. You're a real inspiration - after everything you have gone through, you still have such a positive outlook and I'm sure that has helped you in getting through those challenging times.
I have an appointment today to see if I need a D&C or if I can just let it happen naturally.
I wish you all the best for the D&C today and I will be thinking of you as you prepare for the EC and ET. You truly deserve the the very best outcome.
I will be thinking of you....keep us up to date with how it all goes!
Take care
xxx

[gi]

Starwishes how did you get on yesterday?? Tough times ahead for you and dh and i pray you will get thro. it. My d&c went well polyp removed and they also found a fibroid so got rid of that too, was a bit tender yesterday but grand today. I will keep an eye out for you when you are up to continuing your journey but dont give up you will be a mom someday and you will look back on this tough journey with your little baby in your arms and say it was worth it xxxx

[Hope644]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Starwishes...

Praying for peace and comfort during this difficult time....

(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))

[starwishes]

Hello!

Gi- I am glad they were able to remove some more nasties from you- now you should be all clean and comfy for any future embryo to attach and grow! I ended up having a D & C yesterday- am so glad I did as the bleeding just hadn't started naturally. This way, like you said before, at least I can move on. Still a bit dozy and tender today but should be back to work soon and restart life once more! Best of luck with everything gi, here's to lots of positivity and happiness galore!

Hope- thank you for your prayers. It's tough, but taking one day at a time and being positive. Best of luck with your treatment

Take care ladies
xxx