March/April 2010 Cycle Group

[angelaezra]

Helene – thanks, I am trying so hard to remain positive but we have had so much disappointment w/ our children that it is hard to even be happy to be pregnant. When you have so much taken away from you, it takes the joy of pregnancy away because you always wait for the other foot to drop!

AFM- I am trying to continue my life as normal but I am failing miserably! I was so upset yesterday after talking to my RE that I couldn’t talk to anyone. My family kept calling and I just couldn’t explain once again why they are worried about yet another pregnancy. Then it just broke my heart today to talk w/ my father and he started crying. He said it just breaks his hear to see me hurting so much. Of course, what do you say to that … I couldn’t comfort him because I am still worried myself? Well, another beta tomorrow, which I am sure, will not double once again and then I will be even more upset! This is just horrible … how much more can one person take?

Angela

Funny I replied to this but it's gone...

So Angela, it true I don't know how you feel cause I have never been through what you are going through and have gone through. I am so sorry and I wish I could help you somehow!! It is terrible to NOT know where things stand. I guess it's worse NOT to know then to know it might be over. But I try to see this as a live baby trying really hard to make it. I don't know statistics and don't know much else but to me as long as it is rising there is hope. I wish we could trade place... I wish I could be worried my pg didn't work and you would feel confident everything is going to be ok... But all I can do is send you a big Hug and tell you we are all here for you to listen and so you can go ahead and tell us your worries and cry, we are here for you dear... I am always on during the day so anytime you want to talk I will listen...

I will continu praying that you little on is ok and will remain ok for 8 months... so sorry dear again.

Helene

Helene – you are so very sweet! Thank you so much for your kind words. It just helps sometimes to come on this site and talk w/ you lovely ladies. I get so frustrated sometimes having to explain over and over again the IVF process, my emotions, my medications, how exhausted I am constantly, and this rollercoaster of not knowing if I will end up w/ a baby in my arms in the end. I know my family and friends love me and mean well but I just feel like sometimes they just don’t get it.

Ladies – thank you so much for all the kind words of encouragement. I know I couldn’t make it without you guys.

Angela

[Kushka]

Okay I had 7 eggs as of the retrieval yesterday. Today we are down to 4, so I must say I am depressed. We are doing the transfer Thursday but they don't know if any more will fall off or not. Has anyone had this low of number before and got pregnant?

Amanda, Don't be depressed! Firstly, 7 eggs is great! On my first IVF I would have killed to have got that. Do you mean that 4 fertilised? If so, that is great again! It is bang on what you'd expect. And to answer your question, a friend of mine got one egg, it fertilised, they transferred it and now she has a baby daughter. It only takes ONE!!

Kx

[angelaezra]

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I've been MIA. I've been having a nightmare with my internet connection. Only just got it back this morning, although we still don't have TV or a phone! So much for Swiss efficiency!

Franny - I am so so sorry my love to hear about the BFN. I was so so so much hoping that you were going to make it and it's just devastating. I really understand how you feel - lost, exhausted, angry, it's unfair... All I can think is that it's important to take time to cry and be angry and to eventually heal. At some point, you and DH will be ready to pick yourselves up and make a decision about what to do next. And until that time comes just take it a day at a time. I am holding you so tightly in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to PM me if you want to rant about this hideous IVF rollercoaster ride.

Franca - my 2ww buddy! Hang on in there - you will be fine! And don't worry about the symptoms. We're all so full of drugs that I don't think they mean anything. I've had exactly the same symptoms when I had my BFN and my BFP - go figure! And this time I have NO symptoms (which, I have to say, is freaking me out...).

Angela - Please try not to worry. I know that's the most ridiculous thing to say to you, but just try! You are pregnant. There is no doubt about that. I know you've had an awful time in the past, but that doesn't mean this one is going to go the same way. You're right - it might. But it REALLY might not. Your beta is increasing. This is good. We all suffer from information overload I think. If we were 'normal' you would simply know you were pregnant right now and you'd be really happy, not upset about a bunch of numbers! Please try and take it easy and don't get upset now. It's not going to help you or your little one.

All the other ladies, sorry not to do personals, but 'Woooo Hoooo!!' to all the BFPs, 'welcome' to all the new peeps - you're in the right place, and lots of love to everyone else!

AFM, well, my beta is tomorrow (AAaagggghh!!!). I've been going through a whole range of emotions since the weekend, from super-hopeful and happy that this has worked, to being really certain that it hasn't worked, and getting really sad and panicky about it. I have NO symptoms, which is weird. Not even sore breasts (which I always have, even just in a normal month when I'm getting AF!). How is that possible with all the drugs I'm taking!?! It's my first FET so I guess I'm wondering whether that has some impact - perhaps symptoms are always less with FET???? I've been having lots of hot baths and I've just seen that a bunch of you say it's a no no. My RE didn't mention anything about that. Hope I haven't messed it all up! Anyway, I'm going quietly crazy here so I'll say goodnight. Please think of me and my beta!!

Thank you so much ... I will try my best to relax. It is a good thing they put me on Xanax ... lol! I think the biggest problem is that I try to control most things in my life and this subject, I have no control over and there is nothing I can do. AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!

You know it's strange that you talked about different symptoms w/ a fresh vs. a FET transfer because I was just thinking the same thing. I think it is because even the progesterone and estrogen are all injected and maybe lower than your normal amounts your body makes. I am not sure but I think you are on to something w/ your theory.

I want to wish you good luck tomorrow w/ your beta. I know you will get your BFP!

Angela

[TammyS]

We're home! Surgery went great and Zach is acting almost completely normal already. He is in no pain, as of right now. He doesnt seem to even notice that anything even happened. The hospital staff at Childrens Hospital were playing with him and had him laughing the whole time...he only cried for a second when they took him back. They are truly wonderful there.

The only issue he had was that due to the anesthesia (in recovery)...his tongue kept rolling back and blocking his airway...but turning him on his side eliminated this problem. It's the same problem that I have when being put under. Go figure. I am sooo happy that this is over and finally behind us. Thank you for all your thoughts, words, and prayers.

Personals later.

[Neffi211]

TammyS-- glad tp hear Zach's surgery went well! My sonhad surgery at 11 months and it was great, but I was a wreck!

Amanda-- I usually produce 16 eggs, but my third cycle I only had 7 and only 3 fert and I now have a DS 15 months old. It is the only cycle that has worked for me so dont worry

AFM-- FET tomorrow at 1pm. I hope they make it through the thaw!!!

[Anissabug]

Just wanted to update........Had my ET yesterday. We had 5 embryos - all but one where great quality. Due to all of our failures my RE recommended us transferring all 5 - WE DID! My 1st beta is 4/29 but due to the HCG injections I will need to retest on 5/1 and possibly again on 5/3 depending on the numbers. Let the roller coaster ride intesify!

Neffi211 - Thanks for the info on your 3rd cycle which produced your DS! This gives me hope. I had 15 eggs retreived this time but only 5 fertilized! on my previous cycle I had 10 out of 14.........so I am a little discouraged. Thanks for sharing - hopefully I can get as fortunate as you!

Thank you for all the support - I will do personals later.................

[not hopeless yet]

Good luck tomorrow at the beta Kushka!

As for me, still having knife like left side pain so doc still doesn't know if its ectopic. Good news is my beta is up to 4000+ today. So everyone say a quick prayer for me.

I have you all in my prayers too.

[angelaezra]

Good luck tomorrow at the beta Kushka!

As for me, still having knife like left side pain so doc still doesn't know if its ectopic. Good news is my beta is up to 4000+ today. So everyone say a quick prayer for me.

I have you all in my prayers too.

Not hopeless yet - That is a great beta! When will your RE repeat your u/s? Maybe your RE can see something on the u/s since your beta is above 2,000 now. How many embryos did you transfer again?

Angela

[not hopeless yet]

wow Angela we are almost exactly preg alike! Look at our tickers...

anyhow, ultrasound again on Mon. She's hoping to see something in utero or tube but she says if its twins they will be too small by then. So I'm also seeing her again on Thurs. (next week.)

[angelaezra]

wow Angela we are almost exactly preg alike! Look at our tickers...

anyhow, ultrasound again on Mon. She's hoping to see something in utero or tube but she says if its twins they will be too small by then. So I'm also seeing her again on Thurs. (next week.)

Good ... I am glad you will be back in her office soon. I am sure you will be fine. Please let us know how you are doing?

Angela

[mkd]

hi anyone with FET positive experience..?? im dead worried that i'm having no symptoms whatsoever. is it because im on progynova which stops my uterus from contracting etc?? my beta is due only on 05/01.

[amanda1979]

TammyS-- glad tp hear Zach's surgery went well! My sonhad surgery at 11 months and it was great, but I was a wreck!

Amanda-- I usually produce 16 eggs, but my third cycle I only had 7 and only 3 fert and I now have a DS 15 months old. It is the only cycle that has worked for me so dont worry

AFM-- FET tomorrow at 1pm. I hope they make it through the thaw!!!

Thank you so much for sharing makes me feel better.

[amanda1979]

Okay I had 7 eggs as of the retrieval yesterday. Today we are down to 4, so I must say I am depressed. We are doing the transfer Thursday but they don't know if any more will fall off or not. Has anyone had this low of number before and got pregnant?

Amanda, Don't be depressed! Firstly, 7 eggs is great! On my first IVF I would have killed to have got that. Do you mean that 4 fertilised? If so, that is great again! It is bang on what you'd expect. And to answer your question, a friend of mine got one egg, it fertilised, they transferred it and now she has a baby daughter. It only takes ONE!!

Kx

Yes 4 fertilized as of right now but the nurse today said one still may not make it til transfer day or even 2 but we are hoping they all make it Thank you for responding. My husband is disappointed too but sometimes it is hard to convey exactly how I am feeling.

[mkd]

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I've been MIA. I've been having a nightmare with my internet connection. Only just got it back this morning, although we still don't have TV or a phone! So much for Swiss efficiency!

Franny - I am so so sorry my love to hear about the BFN. I was so so so much hoping that you were going to make it and it's just devastating. I really understand how you feel - lost, exhausted, angry, it's unfair... All I can think is that it's important to take time to cry and be angry and to eventually heal. At some point, you and DH will be ready to pick yourselves up and make a decision about what to do next. And until that time comes just take it a day at a time. I am holding you so tightly in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to PM me if you want to rant about this hideous IVF rollercoaster ride.

Franca - my 2ww buddy! Hang on in there - you will be fine! And don't worry about the symptoms. We're all so full of drugs that I don't think they mean anything. I've had exactly the same symptoms when I had my BFN and my BFP - go figure! And this time I have NO symptoms (which, I have to say, is freaking me out...).

Angela - Please try not to worry. I know that's the most ridiculous thing to say to you, but just try! You are pregnant. There is no doubt about that. I know you've had an awful time in the past, but that doesn't mean this one is going to go the same way. You're right - it might. But it REALLY might not. Your beta is increasing. This is good. We all suffer from information overload I think. If we were 'normal' you would simply know you were pregnant right now and you'd be really happy, not upset about a bunch of numbers! Please try and take it easy and don't get upset now. It's not going to help you or your little one.

All the other ladies, sorry not to do personals, but 'Woooo Hoooo!!' to all the BFPs, 'welcome' to all the new peeps - you're in the right place, and lots of love to everyone else!

AFM, well, my beta is tomorrow (AAaagggghh!!!). I've been going through a whole range of emotions since the weekend, from super-hopeful and happy that this has worked, to being really certain that it hasn't worked, and getting really sad and panicky about it. I have NO symptoms, which is weird. Not even sore breasts (which I always have, even just in a normal month when I'm getting AF!). How is that possible with all the drugs I'm taking!?! It's my first FET so I guess I'm wondering whether that has some impact - perhaps symptoms are always less with FET???? I've been having lots of hot baths and I've just seen that a bunch of you say it's a no no. My RE didn't mention anything about that. Hope I haven't messed it all up! Anyway, I'm going quietly crazy here so I'll say goodnight. Please think of me and my beta!!

hey kushka....what ur result, im dying to know. coz i've been thru and FET on 04/16 and feel exactly like you girl
im worried about NO symptoms whatsoever too. and im praying praying praying that u got a BFP.

[emmax]

HI YA ALL WELL STILL HAVING WERID DREAMS OMG THERE SOOOO WERID I CANT BELIVE I HAVE TO WAIT TO 18TH MAY FIR SCAN THAT
SEEMS SO LONG THEY ONLY GIVE ,ME 1 BLOOD TEST I DONT NO WHY WHEN I RING UP THEY SAID THATS HOW THEY DO IT STILL GETTING LIKE IAMGOING TO COME ON I HAD LIKE A AF PAIN LAST NIT AT ABOUT 11,15 THEN AGAIN AT 4 THUS MORING THEY LAST FOR ABOUT 4 MINS EACH TIME WHAT IS THIS ???