I'm new to the board. We are hoping to start our treatment in the last week of May, and I know that everyone is different, but I'm worried about how much time I will need to take from work.
As I work in the City and my hospital doesn't open until 9am in the morning, I can't go for early scans etc and then come in to work without them knowing - so I'm thinking I'll have to tell them.
I have a female boss who has been a little insupportive for a friend's gynae problems in the past, and a male team leader who I am not that excited about telling.
Has anyone come up against this situation??
Thanks for any help!! Shoegal
Hi
I too work in the City (early mornings etc) and completely sympathise. I personally decided to tell my boss because I took the view that the whole thing was stressful enough without trying to cover it up
He was totally cool - so I was very very lucky. I think you'll find that they just HAVE to be. Human resources departments in banks are SO strict about treating people with any "illness" well, that they just cant afford to cut up nasty. I would let them know - explain that you'll do you best not to let it affect your work - but you respect them enough to want to be honest etc etc
Dunno if that helps
Good luck though!
Cazx
Welcome to the site. You will get so much help and support on here, everyone is so kind
It's a tough one regarding your work. I always say honesty is the best policy as the IVF process is so unpredictable. You always end up having to have more appointments than at first thought and if you are trying to keep it a secret from your collegues it just adds to the initial stress which you don't need. I have always been upfront about it. Have you checked out what rights you have within your company about things like this? Some companies are very supportive with time off for appointments some on the other hand are not which is a pain.
I wish you lots of luck and hope you get your wish come true soon.
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
You go girl! Don't let them bully you as this is one part of your life you have to take control and be strong. They can't and mustn't discriminate either.
Good luck
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
I wrote a letter to my manager explaining the situation and why I would be needing time off. As soon as I knew dates of scans, EC etc i also listed those so he had written evidence of what I needed and couldn't say he hadn't been warned re staffing etc. I hadn't planned to tell many people, but ended up being really open and almost everyone knew that I wasn't skiving, but was going through treatment. It helped as people were more sympathetic, but with hindsight I should have told fewer people. writting it down formally does help because you always have a record of what you have said.
good luck, helen
Helen
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me 33, DP 35
ICSI cycle Nov 2003, tested positive.
I have a male line manager, boss and human resource rep so it was fun letting them know. I told my line manager and warned him I would require time off. He was fine about it. Until now I have been able to make up any time I have taken for scans. I have asked for my 2ww off work because of pressure and stress levels etc and they were good in giving special leave for IVF.
I think some of the bigger companies do have a policy to allow time off for IVF.
I've been fairly open at work and most people know I'm having treatment.
When I first found out I needed treatment I didnt tell anyone but it ended up coming out because I had a particular client I didnt want to work with and ended up telling people why. I'm a social worker and the client was a very pregnant mother! In hindsight if I'd told my manager when I found out I would need treatment I could have asked her to reallocate, so my advice would be to tell management as soon as you know and hopefuly they will be supportive to you.
Now that I am having treatment I can go for scans etc without taking leave and all my colleagues know I'm having treatment they've been mega supportive without asking loads of ?'s coz they know why I'm not around, I've also been for an interview (in the same dept) for a more senior job and got it so there's no discrimination there! I've also had a couple of people come up and tell me that they've had IVF too.
Anyway hope this is all positive encouragement for you and that you get the same response I have from work, dont know if banks will be very different from social services...if they're not give them hell you can print this off and show them how unreasonable they are!
Firstly hello and welcome a lovely site you have come to indeed.
Well I did tell my manager even though he was male he was understanding, probably more so that a female really. He let me take time off when I needed and it was swings and roundabouts when he needed me to do a favour I used to do it.
Shoegal