Its over for me - miscarried at 9wks

[KarenSmiff]

Dear All

Absoloutely devasted..

I was getting so excited at reaching nine weeks, thinking only 3 "riske" weeks left until the magic 12.
Had cramps and blood Thursday. Went to out local fetal health unit, and the nurse scanned me. The baby could not be found in the correct place. She then inserted the probe, and the baby was at the top of my cervix. It only measured 7wks. Got up this morning and the inevitable happened. I know this was a miracle pregnancy, after only managing one 2 cell embryo, but we said it was our little fighter. The nurse actually shocked me when she commented that IVF produces more miscarriages than normal pregnancies, and the normal miscarriage rate is high enough ??? The IVF clinic never mention this????

I know a lot of you have had your fair shares of heartache, and it must be much much worse to lose a baby after many weeks. But I have never felt this low before in my life.

At the moment, dont feel like I can carry on with IVF any more.

Cant stop crying. We are gutted.

Why o Why o Why?????????????????


Happy pregnancies to all you ladies.
Love Karen

[sue.m]

Karen,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't really know what to say, other than for you to just take time out to grieve for your precious baby.

I hope you and your husband are able to draw strength from each other and get through this terrible time.

Suzanne.x

[helenlouise]

I'm so sorry for you both

[Dagny]

Dear Karen

What can I say? I am so, so sorry for your loss. Just when we start to get excited something comes along and tears it away - I know that only too well after losing Katelyn at 24 weeks.

I knew IVF pregnancies were fragile but I didn't know that they have a higher risk of miscarriage! I thought we had a good a chance as any naturally conceived pregnancy.

Take some time out to grieve for your little one and I am truely sorry.

You are in my thoughts Karen.

Much love Dagny xkx

[Wibbs1]

Dear karen
I'm so sorry, I know how you feel, but as time passe's you will feel better, IVF pregnancy's are higher risk than normal, that's why they are more presious to us than "normal", take time out to greive the loss of your little one, but hang on to the thought you have been one step closer to your dream.

Take care we are all thinking of you at this sad time
Love
Wibbs
XXX

[Nikola]

Dear Karen

I'm so sorry to read about you losing your much wanted baby. You will understandably feel devastated. Try to take each day as it comes and not think too much about the future at the moment. All the girls who have lost a baby (regardless of how many weeks pg) will tell you it does get easier with time. Give yourself time to grieve before making any decisions about future ivf attempts.

I'm thinking of you!

love nikola.xx

[caz1]

O Karen
We havent spoken that much but just wanted to add that I am So sorry for you - words are simply not enough. I cant imagine what you must be going through, I can only say that I'd agree with what the others have said that time IS a healer. Take as much of it as you'll need.
I too have not been told that IVF pregnancies are higher risk - infact was actively told they were the same - ie about 20% before 12 weeks. What an insensitive thing for the nurse to say. As IF knowing that would make you feel any better?

Take care of yourselves. TAke a holiday, try to regroup. We are all rooting for you.
Cazxx

[Traci]

First of all a big
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I dont have any words that would be adiquate only just that I am feeling your pain for you , I agree with Caz1 , I knew about the % in MC, knowing that would make you feel any better?
so sorry
Trace x

[Tracey S]

Karen

I am so sorry - I have a fair idea of what you are going through as lost Little Oliver at 20 weeks as you know and had an ectopic too! It is dreadful to lose a precious baby at any stage - especially an IVF one and you must grieve for as long as you like.
Don't make decisions yet - you are not in a fit position to and in time it should be more clear and you will find your path again. I hope you can find the strength to carry on as you did get pg but this is your decision to make when the time is right.
RE IVF comment - how bloody insensitive and not actually factually correct you will find. IVF causes more ectopics for various reasons that I won't go into but not actually more chance of m'c - it is just we know we are pg so much earlier than natural conception - they lose just as many. In the cases of compromised cervix etc and other reasons for IVF well yes but in the majority of cases the stats are not much different so she is a silly and should learn to keep her stupid opinions to herself
Loads of love
Tracey
xxx

[bubblymichelle]

I'm so sorry to read your post, my thoughts are with you!!
Love
Shell.
xx

[loopylili]

Dear Karen,

I have just found this website (so hope this gets to you), but I read your message and I sympathize with you totally, I also had IVF this year (my first one) and couldn't belive my like when got pregnant, then 6 weeks ago at also 9 weeks pregnant went for the scan and there was no heartbeat the baby had died - I was so shocked as I hadn't bled, they told me I would miscarry but after 2 weeks still hadn't bled at all, so eventually I had to go into the hospital to have the baby taken away, I felt and still do absolutley devastated as if life isn't worth living, but please believe me it is and you will eventually start to feel a little better day by day ( i don't think we will ever forget though) I just want to send you my thoughts and love and lets hope we all have our dreams come true one day.

xx

[Dawn V]

Dear Karen & Loopylili

I just wanted to say how sorry I am to read your horrible news.
Nothing anyone can say can make you feel any better at the moment, only a great deal of time can do that.
We are all thinking of you though
Dawn
xxx

[Zed2003]

Oh Karen,

I'm so very sorry to hear your news. It's a horrible time I know having also lost a baby at that time, and although you feel devastated understandably, you will find the strength to go on, and we will all be here to support you.

Take time now to look after yourself and grieve before you make any decisions. Take care

Zoe x

[elaine uk]

Karen
I am so sorry to read your news. We lost our Baby 2 weeks ago at 16 weeks.

Look after each other as DH needs cuddles too.

love

Elaine
x

[KarenSmiff]

Thank you for all of your kind words girls. You are the only ones who really understand.

Feeling much better now, even though its only been 8 days since m/c.
But time is a great healer, as they say.

Ive put on about 7lbs since the m/c as went grocery shopping and bought all of my fave foods! chocolate, cream cakes, mayo, curry, curry, and WINE! But the diet starts today!!!!!

Still not sure whether to have another IVF again????? (but deep inside I know I WILL!!!) One thing I have to get off my chest though is... Why do I have to pay £850 extra for one damn egg to be injected ICSI (my last cycle), when the next person pays the same for 15 eggs to be injected ICSI. Its just not fair!!!!! aaaarrrhhhhh

We are gonna try ourselves for a few months, (male factor) bought dh loadsa vits (marilyn glenville advice!), Got to double his count some how...but miracles do happen like we all know!


Bye for now (!)
Karenxxxxxxx