IVF in your 40s

[cupcake67]

Hi. First time I have posted on here!

I'm 43 and thinking about starting 3rd round of IVF. My husband is worried about me, he's quite overprotective, thinks it might all get too much for me, so I might have to persuade him.

Is there anyone else who is in their 40s and doing IVF? Sometimes I worry I've left it all too late...

Be great to hear from anyone in a similar position!

[TammyS]

I have the same worries as you do. I did IVF #1 at 39 turning 40...and did have a baby. However, now I am 42 and just did a FET #1 and miscarried...though miscarriage happens to 1 in 4 women regardless of age and fertility issues...so maybe it was just my luck and not so much my age. Ya know? We are going to try again...even though we originally said we were done if the FET didnt work...as we dont have any more frozen ones from when I was 39. However, at 42 ...we are gearing up for IVF #2.

Just go for it. You really have nothing to lose trying. I would think that you would always wonder about the what ifs. There is a saying that I stole from one of the girls here that I just love. "Never give up on something that you cant go one day without thinking about."

There are alot of women in their 40's who do fine with all the meds and everything ...hopefully you can persuade him. I did have to persuade my husband as well. I am leaving in a bit to go camping for the weekend, but if you would like to pm and talk...I will get back to you soon. Good Luck!

[cupcake67]

Hi Tammy - thanks, it's great to get a response from someone in the same boat! Hope you had a great time camping.

I love the quote about never giving up - it's so true.

I think I do want to go for it and if I need to persuade my husband I'll be able to. It's good to chat to other women in their 40s and have some support - sometimes people are not very positive about what I'm trying to do and I think that if I were younger they'd be much mroe supportive and understanding. Oh well.

Anyone else find that's the case?

[lynniecat]

I did my last IVF at 42 and had my baby at 43. I want to cycle again now at 43..

[Kamaile]

ill be 40 in august and im doing my 2nd IVF right now (i am 8 weeks pregnant right now )...did my first IVF at 37 in 2008 and had a BFP but sadly miscarried at 10 weeks. Im dont think 40's it too old to cycle...as long as under 45 i think its fine...only thing is the quality of our eggs I would guess.....how about that one lady on tv, she was a mom at 70, she did an IVF with donor eggs and had a baby at such a late age!

[to_have_fun08]

Ive been on the IVF boards for a long time now. I have seen lots of gals in their 40's get BFP's. Just keep in mind the chances are lower. If you have the money or insurance, you might as well try it. You never know you might get lucky. IVF is a big huge roller coaster ride but as long as you take it one step at a time, it is bearable. If you do a cycle with your own eggs and it doesn't work well then you might also check into donor egg or donor embryo's. With donor egg you give up your chance for a genetic child but it is still biologically yours. I have seen lots of success with donors.

Good Luck on your decision.

Chris

[CarolineP]

Hi Cupcake

I started IVF at 42, fell pregnant at 43 and had a healthy daughter at 44. We decided at the outset that we would only use my eggs. We had an alternative plan B which was to retire at 55 and sail round the world!!! As it turned out my DH will be working into his 70s.

In retrospect IVF was a breeze compared to looking after a 4.5 year old at 48!!! Its a great fitness regime without going to the gym.

Hang in there, it could happen to you.

CarolineP

[Olivia2501]

I can see 40 in my sights lol! If we had the money and/or insurance I would try for as long as I could. Sadly this will be our last IVF, 100% self pay is about to kill us. Good luck to us all!

[margi26]

Hello there,

This is my first post. I am rapidly nearing 43 yrs of age and am in the 2ww for my 3rd (and final) IVF cycle. The first cycle was almost 2 years ago and resulted in severe OHSS despite my age. I was quite unfortunate and had a very unusual case that put me in and out of the hospital for nearly 2 months--all to have an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured in my tube! It was quite a disappointment as you can imagine to lose not one, but two embryos that were ectopic.

It took my body/head a while to heal from all that....

My second cycle was last fall with a much more conservative approach. 3 embryos were transferred with no luch

This is our third and final try. I am hopeful that this will be the charm! We used my own eggs each time. Monday (7/7/10) was my retrieval and yesterday I had 4 embryos transferred back.

I am in a great deal of discomfort, but I believe it is related to positioning of my ovaries, and not hyperstim.

I wish every woman great luck! It is challenging and nerve-racking for sure!

I am in the 2ww and would love to chat with anyone going through it as well, or who has recently. My 1st beta test is scheduled for 7/20/10.

[sunshine and stars]

Hi Cupcake and all,
Hope is a wonderful thing. My husband and I have struggled too-- he struggles because he sees how important this is to me and wants to help me "to try" even if he is not able to give me a child via his sperm. IVF was a "jump" for us-- but we have decided to continue until insurance says no, or until I have emotionally/spiritually had enough. We've only had one IVF experience, so we are continuing the journey for now...trying to focus on life day by day. About the age thing-- my husband gets looks a lot, and I am sure people wonder. We have such an age difference, but a wonderful marriage. We are also pastors at different churches, so we are living the IVF struggle publicly. We hope, despite whatever happens, that we can help someone else with our experience, and hopefully, understanding.

I (often) wish that I would've started earlier-- but I don't think that it is helpful emotionally or spiritually to do that-- I'd pretty much have to change my entire past, as well as my present, and who can say, what would be better?

I wish you the very best. Having others who are "partners in hope" helps us to make the journey together.
Peace to you.

[margi26]

Well I finally got my first beta! bfp---but really low. Only 21. Trying to be cautiously optimistic, but it is so difficult...I return on Thursday and am hoping that it doubles or greater. So stressful.....

[chilipepperrose46]

Hi All,
Crashing over from the Summer cycle group. I totally understand everyone's concerns. My DH nd I are struggling with the age thing right now. I'm 46 and he is 45 and we tried IVF for the 1st time in July. I had several follicles but when they were retrieved they were empty with the exception of 1 immature egg that couldn't be fertilized. The RE felt there was a good chance because of my good response to the meds. We are trying again in Sept with a new protocol and my own eggs. We are preparing ourselves for the possibility that my eggs may not work. My Dh was totally against donor eggs but now is warming to the idea. I can't seem to find any info on fertility success over age 45. I am seeing an Accupuncturist who feels we can get some good eggs with some work. The insurance pays for 4 tries. We'll see how the next one goes. As my summer friends keep telling my...PMA! (positive mental attitude). If we all follow that motto great things will happen.
Love, Hugs and Baby Dust to All,
Chili

[chilipepperrose46]

Hi Tammy,
I see you're here too. Great quote!
Love,
Chili