Summer cycle group

[miyaya]

hey girls this will be short as I am not in a good place right now. my heart is broken. Fert report was not good. Out of 12, 8 fert but only 2 made it overnight and they do not look good either. I am scheduled for a 2dt at 12:30 tomorrow but they said to expect to get called for an earlier time (I think they are concerned on how poor quality they are). I have spent my afternoon crying my eyes out. I was so hopeful this cycle, its was the most PMA I ever had just to be let down. I know the "fat" lady hasn't sung yet, but I also know my chances. Plus, honestly I feel greedy wanting a 2nd miracle considering I already have the best thing in the world....my ds. Yet, my heart is still breaking. I am so grateful (more than ever) for my 1st miracle but I so wanted a sibling for him. Given the results of fert, its pretty clear I have egg quality issues, we have suspected. So I cannot justify going in the hole financially for another cycle. So this will be it. I thought about canceling transfer but I will go forward b/c if not I will always wonder. But I refuse to let the 2ww hold me hostage again. I feel like for 5 years my life has been on hold for fertility and waiting for something....so if I want that coffee, or want that beer....so be it. I will have it. If I get the surprise of my life at the end. Great....if not, there has been no more time wasted. I am sorry to be a downer...but my heart is shattered right now. Not sure what is next but I can tell you my faith has been tested once again. The only thing there is to do is enjoy my son and move on....

[klinger13]

miyaya - I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am glad you're going to go through with the transfer and I'm still going to hope that this cycle brings you your 2nd miracle.

[Lauren1171]

Miyaya - Sorry you have to go through this. I don't blame you at all for not wanting to ge tortured during the 2ww. I am praying you get some good news!

[to_have_fun08]

Franny- i read your last post and thought that I had wrote it. same for me not even going to POAS, why waste the money. I have my beta on Wed. I don't feel any different then the last 4 times so figure it is another bust. not that i ever thought it wouldn't be. Still will have all my crossable crossed for you that you are wrong and get that big BFP!!!

[TammyS]

So much sad news today...

Karin...I am so very sorry. I was so hopeful. Please know that we are behind you through all of this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and DH.

Miyaya...OMG, girl. That is just awful and I am so very sorry. Is there perhaps a different protocol with a different doctor? It seems to me that they are stimming you too much or too fast and your eggs are not maturing...though I am not a doctor, but have heard of this. I am praying for you and your 2 eggs.

tohavefun...Good Luck on Wednesday. I hope you get your BFP. You have been such an inspiration to many on these boards and deserve this sooo much. I have used your quote on my FB status. I just love it.

Annpage...the ultrasound they did today is really early...so what they saw is normal. It looks like you will have wonderful news at your next ultrasound.

Lauren and Lou...so funny that we take the same amount of follistim...but that I take 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at night. Good Luck tomorrow girls!

Amanda...I'm doing the AF dance for you. No laughing...it is hard to dance with this lupron headache I've got. lol

Margi...praying for good beta numbers today. Please let us know.

Hugs to all.

[rypell1985]

Hi ladies... I'm sorry I have been MIA. My dad has been sick and in the hospital, so I have been reading every day on my iPhone, but it's too hard to post a reply from my phone. Because there is so much to catch up on I am going to be very general and hope no one feels left out!

I know there have been some BFPs....so a HUGE CONGRATS!!! I will continue to pray for rising betas and wonderful ultrasounds!! I can't wait to hear the progress you all make!

For those of you who have recently starting your meds...I'M SO JEALOUS!!!! Who would have thought you could be jealous of someone for being on meds...injectables even! But, I am! I'm also really happy for all of you who are getting on your way. I can't wait for that to be me!

There has also been some sad news, and although I am not going to go through each person who has posted some disappointing news, please know that I have read it and sent up an extra prayer while praying for my dad. I am so sorry for all the heartache.

AFM...still waiting. I should be starting Provera again in about 2 weeks to bring on AF, but with the stress of my dad I am wondering if I should hold off. I wouldn't want to start a cycle with any extra stress or worry. Dad has a heart condition called IHSS and was just diagnosed with atrial fibrillation. He already has a pacemaker/defib, but it's hooked up to the part of his heart affected by the IHSS...now the other part of his heart may need it too. He's only 57, but he's been sick since 2000. I know he would LOVE to hear news that he is going to be a grandpa, but I wonder if the stress will hinder my success...any thoughts? I did the mapping out in my calendar (which DH has BEGGED me not to do because then I get my hopes up) and ER would fall on or around the day DH proposed if I start Provera when I am supposed to...maybe a good sign?? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!! I would love to know if any of you were under stress (aside from IVF) and still had a good response Thanks in advance!

[TammyS]

Ryann...I'm so sorry to hear about your dad...I hope he gets well very soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Take my stories with a grain of salt...because really who knows, but...

IUI #1...I had insemination and then spent 2 nights in the hospital with DH while he was having complications from his neck surgery. BFN.
IUI #2...no stress. BFN.
IUI #3...was informed at 6:45 am while in the docs waiting room that my brothers house is on fire and that all 7 children, 2 adults, and animals had made it out alive...but that house is completely engulfed (they had kids over for a bday slumber party). I broke down in tears right then and there and the doc took me in before 5 other couples so that I could head straight to my brothers house an hour away to help them sift through rubble. BFN.
IVF#1...no stress. BFP~Zachary.
FET#1...no stress. BFP. Zach had surgery, we all got strep throat, and I miscarried...all within a few days.

I dont know. Who knows. This is just what happened to me...but it doesnt mean that these things contributed. Heck, right now is not the most ideal time for me to be doing another cycle. My DH is working 15 hrs a day, 7 days a week...and I am all alone with a toddler and going to appts all by myself and some appts I will even be taking Zach with me. So this is not a stress free cycle...but who is to say that next month when Bill's overtime is over...that there wont be a new stress to deal with. It's a tough decision... and I just went through the same thing...trying to decide if I should wait or not...but then I decided to just go for it. At 42...I really didnt want to wait even 1 more month and I just have no patience either. lol I hope this helps and Good Luck in your decision.

[moorebaby]

hi ladies! i missed you all so much! we got back super late last night & i had stuff to do today & then hung out w/ my sil & nephews. i just read all your recent posts & updated the list. please let me know if i need to change anything. i will do personals tomorrow morning.



-amaut- Fresh or FET w/ 2 frosties???
-nbfun (Nancy)
-Lauren (U/s and b/w & start estrogen on 7.20. Expect AF sometime around 7.29 & back in for more u/s and b/w. If all is good, injections start around 7.20 & ER week of 8.9)
-gr8countrygirl (Baby-in-a-box is here; ER on or around 8.20)



-rypell 1985 (Ryann)
-blairwh58
-klinger13 (Amanda)
-moorebaby (Ester)



-hopeforbabies (Teresa)- Baby-in-a-box on its way….WOOHOO!!!
-fitzjr11 (Start on 7.16, b/w on 7.21, start meds on 7.23)
-chilipepperrose46



-mcfarland2213 (Ashley)- Lupron as of 7.17
-GoGirl (Gen)- Lupron as of 7.29
-rebeccajm (Lupron as of 7.24)



-Nanci
-JustLikeHannah (Renee’) (ER scheduled for 7.30 w/ 3dt on 8.2 or 5dt on 8.4)
-Lauren1171 (ER on 8.5)
-lou71 (ER/ET should fall the week of 8.2)
-TammyS (Approximate ER is 8.6 & ET is 8.9)
-kbillsy



-miyaya… ER on 7.25/ET on 7.27



-dlk (Didi)… BETA on 7.27
-tohavefun08 (Chris)… BETA on 7.28
-turtle0619 (Franny)… BETA on 7.29
-amanda1979… BETA on ???
-Sher…BETA on ???



-maggieluv- Beta: 6.30- 228
-sunshine and stars- Betas 7.12- 586/ 7.14- 1449
-annpage- Beta: 7.17- 281/ 7.19- 577/ 7.26- 6,309
-annashope- Betas: 7.17- 28.5/ 7.19- 46/ 7.23- 148
-rlk1 (Kim)… CONGRATS YOU SNEAKY GIRL!!!
-margi26- Betas: 7.20- 21/ 7.22- 38

on your journey

-Tiger04
-karin1
-DandMe (Sonya)

[rypell1985]

Thanks Tammy. I know people look at me and think I have plenty of time since I'm 24, but they don't get it! I want a baby so bad and I, too, have no patience! I already had to put it off for my own surgery, I would really hate to do it again. And you're right...who knows what stress lies in the months ahead. Ugh...more decisions!!

I'm sorry that you're going through this with your husband working so mch...that has got to be tough! That's what we are here for

[amanda1979]

hello everyone
I am just sitting here in my 2ww and it sucks. I had some cramping this weekend, so I am hoping that was implantation. Monday is a long way to wait. I think I may have to cheat and go buy some HPTs. I am now 7 days past ET. I hope everyone is doing well with which ever part of this long journey you are in.

[karin1]

Miyaya--I am so sorry to hear about your fert. report. I'm praying that they get stronger and will be okay. Miracles happen everyday. PMA...PMA...PMA....

Ryann--I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad and hope that he's okay. Lots of love and prayers for him and your family.

Didi--Thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for a positive beta!

Chris & Franny-- Hang in there girls! It's not over yet!

Ester--You're doing a fantastic job on the list! Are you on vacation still?


I am hoping that this board gets some good news tomorrow. I could really use a distraction and a reason to smile. I spent the entire day in front of this computer looking at donor profiles. I don't think that I can think of anything else right now. I thought the IVF road was hard before....it just stepped it up a few notches.

[fitzjr11]

Hello all, went for blood wk and ultrasound yest, all is going ok back on Thu, hoping to to er next thu!! Besides that im tired cranky and have a big bruise from the meds

[turtle0619]

didi i wanted to wish you good luck today with your beta!! i am crossing everything for you to get your BFP!!

miyaya i hope you are at your ET today. i am so so sorry about your fert. report. it does seem like you stimmed really fast this cycle. please dont think a 2dt is a death sentence...i've only had 2dt's, and my RE says they are better in their mama's. please let me know how it goes. you are sooo blessed to have DS, and i'm so glad you realize that. it doesnt change the fact that you wanted a sibling for him. dont feel bad about being upset. i'm here for you! xoxo

lou how goes the stims? sorry i havent been around much the past few days, but i am always thinking and routing for you!! have fun at bon jovi!! wooohooo

karin oh man hun that just sucks! i'm so so sorry! its heartbreaking! the good news is if you are ready to consider DE, there are so many out there that you will find one you like in no time! it will be YOUR baby no matter what...dont forget that! good luck, but dont go google crazy...its alot to take in, but once you get a new plan you will feel better, and start to get excited!!! i did alot of research on DE so if you have any questions i can try to help too! its not over..its just a new plan ok??

chris i'm so sorry you are going through this with me again. it sucks right? do you have any signs or symptoms?? i dont have any except the evil spotting that isnt a good thing. i feel like i should be used to disappointment by now, but it still hurts the same. i have everything crossed for you tomorrow. xoxo

ryann i'm so sorry to hear about your dad. i'm sending your family good vibes! hang in there. there is already so much stress during IVF i dont really know what adding more would change. what does DH think??

tammy how are you doing?? thinking of you!! i hate the lupron headaches!! good thing i never use it anymore!!
keep chanting...its all worth it!! hows zach doing??

ester miss you!! hope you had a great vaca, and i cant wait to hear about it!

lauren long stimming can totally wear you out!! so did you go for your SnS today or are you able to wait till tomorrow?? i hope everything is cookin good!! cant wait to hear the update!!

everyone else..of course i am thinking of you all, and i'm sorry i missed you!

[margi26]

Ladies!

Good news for me..(I hope) I am being tentatively happy, but my level rose to 140 on 7/26! I know that it is still low, but it is going in the right direction.

My RE isn't going to schedule another level check until Monday How on earth will I make it another week!?!? And then u/s soon thereafter if the levels look good.

Thanks for all the support and well wishes....this is such an agonizing process! It is wonderful to be able to check in with women who understand...even if I can barely sleep worrying about the what-ifs...

Thanks "Moorebaby!"

Annashope--I am hoping to hear how you are doing!

[lou71]

Annpage -- Oh, I'm so glad your u/s showed one.... maybe two, beans in there. How do you feel about twins since that's a possibility for you?

Lauren1171 -- Glad you liked my videos. It was such a good time! I can't wait for Friday when we go see them. How was your SnS today?

miyaya -- Oh hun... I'm so sorry! I was so excited to hear you had 12 eggs at ER. My fingers are crossed tightly for your two to make it. Remember, it only takes one... and they don't have to be perfect to be "good ones" either. I am so glad you do have your DS as well. It's truly a blessing. Let's hope he can have a sibling. It's far from over.

Margi -- How was your beta yesterday? Good news, I hope.

Karin -- I'm so sorry about your AFC but I'm excited about your donor search. You will find the right one and be at peace with your decision. DE pregnancy rates are really high... so I believe you will get there and be a mommy soon.

Klinger -- Glad you're all set to go with meds in hand. Remember I sweated getting mine on time! Now AF... Hurry UP!

Tammy -- Did you have a SnS today as well? How are the stims going? Do you feel anything? I'm twinging like crazy in there. I hope that's a good sign.

Ryan -- So sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he improves soon. As for the stress situation... hmmm... only you know how much you can handle. I can imagine where stress would impact implanation though but fully understand why you want to get going on a cycle. What is your dad's prognosis? Do what your heart is telling you to do.

Amanda -- Oh, I hope it was implantation cramping! If you do POAS, then don't be down if it's negative... many times it's just too soon! I know I will NOT POAS at all. I'll patiently wait for beta day and enjoy the possibility that I may be preggo in the meantime.

Franny -- I've still got everything crossed for you. How are you doing? I admire your outlook so much.

Chris -- It's not over for you yet either. I'm still thinking of you and praying you get a surprise BFP.

Ester -- Welcome back! You were missed. Great job with updating our board. Thank you so much.

AFM -- Had a SnS this morning and now waiting for the nurse to call. RE wasn't there... he had an ectoptic to "take care of". I couldn't help but feel bad for that couple. The nurse did my u/s and I've got 5 follies on the right and 3 on the left right now that are measurable. She said that wasn't bad for my first u/s. They were all between 9 and 13 mm. There are a few smaller ones but she said they don't count but that they still might wake up. I'm cautiously optimistic.