BFN Group

[annashope]

Summit

thanks for the welcome. I teach high school history (US and World). Feeling better today thank God, have not been sad all day so hopefully we have finally turned the corner and it will be positive thinking from now on.
How is everyone else doing today?

[margi26]

Hello,

I read posts yesterday, but just wasn't up to "talking". Even though it was exactly what I expected, it was still difficult. Thank you for all the support--especially regarding my nurse.

Without getting down too much on my clinic...there really isn't much to do regarding making a complaint, because it is a small, family-run business. She is the only nurse--except for the other family member who is really the officer manager.

Interestingly when I went it yesterday for my final u/s she was up front, but quickly disappeared and didn't even speak to me during my appointment. The doctor did my u/s with the other nurse standing in the room...explained that all was as expected and that I should stop all meds and wait for things to happen naturally. Not even one--"I'm sorry...I know this is difficult...not one single empathic statement...my DH thinks it is because they know we have exhausted insurance and they don't expect to see us again, but really?! Treat any patient so coldly? ESPECIALLY, one that may be at the end of their IVF journey? I tried to ask him about doing IUI or timed intercourse or some other type protocol that we might be able to afford, and he quickly told me that studies show that NO woman over 42 has any chance other than with IVF. Sigh....

Well, one thing at a time I guess....gotta get through this m/c first. Feeling lots of sadness and loss....and a little scared to regarding what to expect and when....didn't want to talk with anyone yesterday. I am hoping that things happen quickly. I have had some very light spotting, but that is all....he said if nothing happens in a week or so I should get a d/c. If that is the case I will DEFINITELY be going back to my obgyn for that. In fact I may just go to my obgyn for my follow-up u/s....I really don't feel like stepping foot in that office again..

Sorry to be such a downer...I just needed to let this out somewhere...

[annashope]

Margi I am so sorry sweety that you have had to put up with so much but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and I completely understand the the sadness and loss I am here with you. I also have not wanted to talk to anyone but you girls here. It took 6 days for my m/c to happen after I stopped the PIO and I did not have to do a d and C it just takes a bit and that was a really hard part but I know another girl for whom it was just a day or two. I am here if you need to talk. BTW I don't know why your RE said that iui is not an option because I have never heard that being over 42 meant that you cannot have an iui...it is a shame that they are the only clinic you can use because they are not very nice... anyways hang in there, being a week removed now it has become a bit better now but not great yet. You will be ok and until then you are in my prayers

[summit]

Okay, who the heck is George and what is up with his post???

annashope - Doing a better today, was a little upset yesterday as I was prepping to go to my sister-in-law's baby shower, which was today. Excited for them, but you know how it is. When is your first day back to work? I go back August 23rd and have been going into my room to start setting up for the year. I am actually at a new school this year so I have a lot of work to do in the classroom, the previous teacher was a bit of a pack rat.

Margi - I am glad that we can be here to support one another. It is such a shame about the treatment you are receiving from the clinic you are working with. Bedside manner and empathy are such important attributes for service providers to have; if don't plan on going back you could write a letter to the doctor expressing your disappointment in the quality of patient care you received. Are there any other clinic options in the area, perhaps something in a nearby city? Check out this link one clinic is in NC (I thought I saw that you were in NC). I know some women will travel from all over the state to receive treatment.

http://www.surrogacyforall.com/Top-IVF-Clinics.html

take care!

[summit]

Good morning, how is everyone doing?

I am counting down until Thursday, which is when I have my follow-up appointment with my doctor. I have a long list of questions to ask and I am wondering what our next steps will be.

Have any of you tried any of the fertility cleansing supplements or a "fertility diet"? I have been heavily researching diet and supplements in the past weeks, but don't know if they are just a hoax. Also, plan to discuss the use of HGH and DHEA with doctor.

I hope all of you are hanging in there. My emotions have been up and down, hoping the doctor will have some insight.

take care,

[margi26]

Hello,

First, I think "George" got BFN mixed up with FBN-whatever that is

Summit...I too am curious about "fertility diets" and the use of acupuncture and anything else that might help that isn't a hoax....I see many of the ladies on here seem to be using acupuncture. Keep us informed, please!

And thank you for the list of clinics. I went "a-searching" the other day to try to lift my spirits and there is a small clinic, but it is associated with the hospital and not too far! I called them yesterday and set a consultation appt for next month (there 1st available). We shall see what options they are willing to discuss with us, but it gives me some hope. Sincere thanks!

Annashope? How are you doing? I am quite uncomfortable and sleeping horribly, but hoping it will end soon. Glad that you didn't need any follow-up d/c--hope that your HCG levels drop down soon...when are you supposed to go back? My "excellent" clinic didn't even give me any sort of time frame at all. I think I will just check in with my OBGYN and get all my followup care from them at this point. Good luck with your next steps!!

And good luck to both you ladies--Annashope and Summit--with some rambunctious kids back from summer vacation soon!! That will keep you busy I am SURE.

Hoping that everyone's spirits are on the rise...it is indeed a rollercoaster....I myself am trying to lift out of this dip...it will take time....

[summit]

Margi - I am so glad that you were able to find another practice to consult with. I will keep you posted about my findings on diets, supplements, and acupuncture. My chiropractor gave me the name of a acupuncturist and a nutritionist that I am considering consulting with. I have also been researching beauty products that I use after reading a book titled No More Dirty Looks many products contain chemicals that can alter hormone levels and have been linked to reproductive toxicity in animals. I have switched out a few things like sunscreen, body lotions and soaps that have a lower score on the Skin Deep: Cosmetic Safety Review web page : http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/

Careful going on this website you can make yourself crazy! I spent a couple of days going through every product in my house and gave myself a huge headache. Per my mother in-law's dermatologist these products contain such a small amount of chemicals that it should not be harmful... but hey in our situations why not make a few changes and see what happens?

Many of the products that are "green" are quite expensive, but so far I have switched out my body lotion to alba botantica unscented and my soap to dove sensitive skin unscented both scored a 3 on the cosmetic database and did not break the bank. Not sure about hair products, friends have tried some green options and said they just did not work that well. Right now I am concentrating on things that I put on my skin and are absorbed.

[jencas75]

It is so encouraging to see these postings. I was involved in a July FET board and it is hard to see mostly everbody else getting pregnant. We had our first BFN in March 2010. We just did a FET in July - got pregnant but with very low numbers which resulted in a miscarriage. I started spotting 3 weeks ago with intense cramps and for the past 2 weeks have had a heavy flow passing clots until yesterday where finally no more clots but still bleeding. I go for my u/s today to see if everything is clear but considering I'm still bleeding I'm kind of thinking not everything is clear. We have 3 embryos left but I just don't know if I can even handle another cycle. Just the idea of another BFN or even miscarriage is too much to think about.

I highly recommend acupuncture. It was def relaxing and helped reduce the stress. Not sure if it helped with getting pregnant this last time but I'm going to continue with it.

[margi26]

Summit,

Thanks for the info! When I am feeling up to it, I will definitely check out that website..carefully!

Jencas-Welcome! And I am sorry for your pain and losses....I just started bleeding this past weekend with my m/c and I was so hoping to be done soon. I didn't realize it could go on for weeks. I hope that all comes out clear with your u/s today. 3 embryos left sounds promising--but only if and when you are up for it emotionally. Some people want to get back in there quickly and others want to wait and grieve and heal.

For me, I am fighting against my age so I don't have any time to waste!

Best of luck...stay in touch with us here...

[summit]

You are welcome Margi!

Welcome Jencas we are glad to have you as a part of this thread! It is very easy to feel lost in threads when you receive a BFN. Here we can continue to support one another and vent without bringing our fellow BFP's down This process has been so emotionally draining that I am thinking about taking a little break before beginning my next cycle. Unfortunately, we have not had viable embryos for freezing after each cycle so it means a fresh IVF cycle each time, which is just a bummer. Thanks for the info about acupuncture! Definitely think it is something I am going to pursue after meeting with my doctor tomorrow. Just found out yesterday that my insurance will cover acupuncture.

[summit]

Well, had follow-up appointment yesterday... Doctor continues to be surprised by my egg quality due to my age and health history. She is not recommending changing protocol of medication, but has suggested that we transfer 3 embryos during the next cycle. I asked about HGH and DHEA to help support egg and embryo quality, but the practice does not use either during treatment. HGH has too many risks involved and the clinic did a study on DHEA and found no value in the use. In regards to fertility diets and cleanses she said they will not improve egg health and embryo quality, they are a waste of money and can cause more harm than help. When I asked about acupuncture she said that studies have been done that show that it does help, but just as many studies have been done that show it does not. So all in all acupuncture has no real impact other than to provide stress relief, which is something to consider.

We are going to move forward with our 3rd attempt after a break for a few months. My doctor said we have 20-30% chance of this next cycle to be successful, "be realistically optimistic". The doctor suggested that we begin having discussions about egg donor, adoption, or child free lifestyle. All of which we have already discussed... egg donor something that we don't feel is for us and adoption a possibility need more info. Essentially, she suggested that after this next cycle we should consider alternatives and discontinue treatment. I appreciate her honesty, because frankly I don't know how many more times I can put myself through this.

Over all, I am feeling quite down and very emotional. I just want to feel normal again, I am tired of being perpetually sad.

I hope everyone else is feeling well,

[to_have_fun08]

summit - Just my 2 cents. Have you thought about getting a second opinion? I know your Dr. said that no change in protocol, why not? Obviously this one did not work and your egg quality was not the best. Many Dr.s say a change in protocol can help with egg quality. Sometimes another look by another Dr. can help. IMHO there are lots of clinics that do all the same off the shelf protocols, sometimes some women need something that is different and out of the box. I just wouldn't want to see you do the same protocol and the get the same results and then have to give up on your own genetic child.

Good Luck!!

[turtle0619]

hi everyone
i feel like i am the president of the BFN club. my sig says it all. although i am not out of the game yet, it is nice to not feel all alone. i wish you all good luck, and i'll be popping in to check up on you all!

chris i am soooo glad to see you hop on here. seeing you post made me respond. i think donor eggs is a wonderful option for you and DH! it will be so much less stress on your body! i think taking time off is also a good idea (even though it will be hard waiting) i am always here for you, and hope you keep posting because you are such a fixture here with amazing advice and knowledge for all of us!! xoxoxo

[lou71]

Franny -- I hear ya my friend. My siggy is pretty sad too.

Chris -- I loooove that you are moving on with donor eggs. It makes me so happy and brought me to tears that you have another option to have a child. I also love that you are taking a break. You need this! Enjoy your time off. I can't wait to follow you on your donor egg cycle next summer and cheer on your very first BFP!!!!

[DJ-BJ]

hi everyone! today is aug 20, 5pm usa time....im so glad that summit created this thread! its been almost 2 weeks that i haven't logged in cause like others, i felt that i didnt belong anymore to any thread since i had my REALLY BIG FAT NEGATIVE last aug 4. gallons of tears but with DH's support got over it. had my RE evaluation and consultation. 2 embryos transferred nothing frozen , egg quality is my big problem although they were both 8 cell embryo, my body still rejected them cause genetically they were really not good...everything else is ok, my endometrial lining is good and so does my uterus.so option, aside from adoption , is of course egg donation. i was hesistant at first but when the RE explained to me, my perspective of the option changed. i get to choose my donor from the clinics database which they have completely screened! she's pretty,young and healthy and she just had 21 follicles retrieved 2 days ago for her 1st egg donation. now we wait when she's ready again and hope fully it will be ok this time. im excited and worried cause everything ive' spent is from our own savings! and now we are fully drained. next week we will be scheduled for a pshycological appointment regarding egg donation and its disclosure to family and friends. crossing my fingers and hopefully it will work...to everybody too, hopefully we all will have our chance of being moms someday and be able to celebrate mothers day in a more meaningful way!!!!