BFN Group

[margi26]

Oh, Heidi,

I totally feel you on all of that....looks like we are the same age--I turned 43 last month and was so hoping to get a BFP and move on.

I have had a very bad experience with my current RE and thought they were the only option in town, but found another group--part of a hospital which means they don't fret as much about statistics and are more willing to do procedures (so says my OBGYN). I thought this was the end of the road for me, but now there is hope. I have my consultation in a few weeks and am hoping to do IUI as our insurance has been exhausted with our 3 IVF attempts.

I wish you the best...double check to make sure there isn't another option, but if that is it, glad you have one frosty and I've heard lots of good stories about success with FET. And I don't understand how they can cut you off at 43! It is your body, and your life choice! I'd say go ahead with another IVF cycle if you can afford it.

[summit]

Welcome to the group Heidi. So sorry to hear that you received such bad news on your birthday. Hope that you are able to move forward with your FET soon. I am taking a bit of break hoping to do next cycle in January... I am kind of fertility drained right now.

Annashope - Thanks for the info about adoption. My husband and I have only just begun to discuss and research adoption and we are fearful of investing so much money only to be let down. Any advice you can give is much appreciated.

[annashope]

Hi girls sorry I was MIA but my baby sister got married this Sunday and as the maid of honor I was super busy

First of all Heidi and Margi I don't understand how your clinics can tell you that they have an age limit when there is an entire show on TLC about moms who have babies via IVF all the way into their sixties and seventies so what are they talking about...especially is the FSH is low... I am outraged for you both.

Well somewhat good news my beta today was finally down to 40 from last weeks 444 so now we have a consult scheduled with the RE. We are actually wanting to do an FET with donor embyo so hopefully he agrees. With my history of cervical cancer and this terrible case of double blighted ovum I am hoping that he will stop with his bs about how young we are and just let us do it. For DH and I it is not as important to have our genetic material as it is to go through the process of bringing a child into this world together so fingers crossed and hopefully smooth sailing.

Margi how are you? is your beta 0 yet? I have to admit that this process of hoping for a lower/dropping beta really irritated me because from one hand I am greatfull not to have to have a d&c but at the same time this IVF was so much work only to end up hoping that it all goes away...so irritating.

Summit I wish I could give more advice on adoption but our experience was not positive. My choice if I had to do it again would be to do international from Latin America although the wait is 3 years from start to finish.

[jencas75]

Well thankfully my surgery went well yesterday. No polyps or fibriods it was just gestational tissue that the dr removed. He is going to test the tissue but there is no reason to think anything negative. No D&C since it can cause scarring and obviously that is the last thing we need. I'm glad that it wasn't anything serious but also frustrated that it essentially took almost 5 weeks of bleeding and surgery to miscarry. I go back in 2 weeks for my post-op appt and I guess at that point we can discuss whether it makes sense to just proceed with the the FET with out last 3 embies sooner as opposed to later. There was a point (6 weeks) that the DH and I wanted to take some time for ourselves and wait 6 months but that was before the almost 5 weeks of bleeding and surgery. Now I'm thinking that maybe we should just keep on truckin without the down time. I just know that if we get a BFN with the FET that we are deft at a stopping point for at least a year if not longer before we can save up the money for a fresh cycle plus I turn 35 in Nov and I know most clinics charge more once you pass the 35 year mark. I will have to ask the dr about that also. I'm trying to discuss adoption with the DH but it isn't really ready to discuss it. Any suggestions on how to broach the subject and not make it seem like a last resort or that we are possibly settling. I think the DH is more receptive to doing a fresh cycle with a surrogate (my sis-in-law would love to carry for us) but the dr has numerous times indicated that we don't need to do that.

Anyway its 1:30 a.m. and I'm wide awake. The pain med always kicks me in the butt and I sleep hard for 2-3 hours and then I'm wide awake. Hopefully I can get a good day of rest before returning to work on Wed.

[summit]

annashope - Thanks for your openness about your experience with adoption. It just seems crazy that the process of adoption is so involved and lengthy. We all just want to be parents and offer a good home to a child...

Jencas- so glad to hear that all went well, good luck if you decide to move forward with another cycle sooner rather than later. Keep us posted.

[Heidi67]

Margi and Annashope I do hope the two of you feel better soon.

Annashope- Sorry to hear you had such a rotten experience trying to adopt. We've waffled on the idea, giving a child a chance in a stable environment etc... The waiting lists here are long and we're already in our 40's so if this doesn't work out my plan is to become a full time foster parent when I retire ~55.

I think the clinics have cut off dates because the older we are unfortunatley the more negatively we affect their stats.

Jencas75- I haven't heard of price differences based on age. That really would be unfair as the process is the same. The only thing I've noticed here in Canada is that if you need assisted hatching there is an additional charge. I wish you luck with when ever you decide to have your FET, you'll know when your body is back to normal.

Margi - Unfortunately the next closest clinic is a 10 hour drive away, and since all our cycles are out of pocket that's an additional cost that I can't justify yet. I'll have to see what happens in Oct.

Summit- I hear you on taking a break. IVF is so draining, emotionally and physically. I teach also, enjoy your kids at school while you figure out your next steps. I'm sure you are like a mom to many of them.

AFM I'm working on getting healthier, taking variuous vit. supplements and getting more exercise. I remember reading that it takes 5 months for the eggs to go from selection to ovolation, so I figure we'll hold off until winter to do anything. By then my body should be in better condition, and recovered fully from this failed cycle.

Question: How does a FET work? I've never had this option before, so I have no clue.

[summit]

Thanks Heidi!
What supplements and etc... are you taking? and What other changes have you decided to make?

PS. What grade do you teach?

[Heidi67]

Summit- Along with my prenatal multi vitamin and b complex, I started taking vitamin E, Cod Liver oil and Coenzyme q10 . Once I started stims I cut out cod liver oil because it´s high in vitamin A and I got D from the summer sun. Personally I think that and the weekly acupuncture made a difference, as my meds have been the same each cycle. The acupuncturist also advised us to cut out carrots and celery, and to include a boiled egg each day our diet. From what Ive read, eggs are good sources of many nutrients, not sure what the deal with the carrots and celery is though. I don´t eat a lot of veggies so that´s something I´m also working on. I' also get out for a walk every day. My plan is to go to the gym 2/3 X a week to lift weights, stretch and walk. I have PCOS and even though my BMI is good I still have to loose weight on my belly. Last couple of winters I went to a weekly yoga class that helped with relaxation and stretching. May try that again.

Right now I´m covering a mat leave as special ed dept head , but when she returns next semester I´ll go back to resource, and teaching modified courses and Native studies. In my previous school I taught jr high math and science, and earlier in my career I taught elementary school.
What grade do you teach?

[summit]

Hi Heidi,
I have been trying to eat a little more healthy as well, not that I was that unhealthy to begin with but I guess every little bit helps. Also, hoping to give acupuncture a try. In an earlier post in this thread I posted some info about using "green" health and beauty products, something you may want to look into. A lot of products contain chemicals that can alter your hormone levels.

I am an early childhood special educator. First week back, man am I tired but I love it:)

[Heidi67]

Thanks for the info. It's been a busy couple of weeks, which keeps my mind off IVF. Hope your first weeks are going well.

[Jessica2723]

Hi Ladies,
I had posted on this thread when it was first started. We received a BFN in August and just received another BFN today. We only have one frostie left so my RE suggested we go to another fresh cycle. We are looking at November for the retrieval. Maybe the fourth time will give us our miracle baby!

[summit]

Jessica - so sorry to hear your news. Hope you have better luck in your next cycle.

[DJ-BJ]

hi summit and the rest of the girls, i've been out but im back posting again..just update on whats going on w/ me..i was just waiting for clearance for my egg donor, and i just also started my birth control pills. luckily with our shared cycle , we were able to find another recipient to share the donor's eggs with us, so it would not be too expensive for us. donor has been cleared two days ago and we will just wait now when the donor will have her period and so does the other recipient. we were able to meet with a psychologist about egg donation , and it felt good to have talked with someone who went through the same things as what we've been through. my nurse says this donor always responded good with meds with 23 follicles and 21 embryos retrieved all the time.pretty excited and cant wait for that day .and so hoping for the best in the weeks to come....i'll keep you guys posted...baby dust to all....

[summit]

Hi DJ-BJ,
I am glad to hear from you! I am wishing you lot's of luck and success as you begin your journey with your egg donor. It sounds very promising for you. Please keep me posted! I am still sticking with my decision to wait til January to do next cycle.

best wishes!

[fitzjr11]

Hello all, how is everyone doing? i have my ups and downs on the reality of not having a family DH turns 51 today and we have decided to stop- the stress it is putting on our relationship is rough and i cant handle another cylce emotionally i think. We are working on just being a family of 2 w/ our 4 foot baby dog (5yrs old) however it is still very hard seeing my friends w/ their kids or hearing about them complain but in time it will be ok, right?