Im not going to be a Mum :(

[Traci]

well test confirmed what I thought a big fat negative I will be celebrating today with lots of champagne not thinking of the unhappiness of IVF but of the will power it gave me and the patience and of course all you lovely friends . I am not going to be sad cause I have been right down there with other situations and by god dont want to ever return , I have done my best 2 x goes with my own eggs and 2 x goes with donor eggs , the only way I would concider to go again is if I had my sisters eggs and that requiers alot of thought, she has said yes and Cam has said we could but only as a last resort . We will move house and have a great rest of the year and if we have a good think about it between now and next year and maybe you might see "Traci cycle no : 5 and £20,000 spent " on a post but I suppose alot of you will be gone to the other side . Big Thanks to Helen G,Tracey Sharp, Nikola , Dagny and Michell , you have given me lots of laughs and I am sure we will keep in touch and maybe meet up one day . Best of luck to all you that are cycling at the moment July anne , Gem , Loopylou , JenF, you will get there im sure just keep the hope inside and the determination going , I would have carried on but with no more money and eggs what is a girl to do !!!

I will still be around keeping an eye on you all as it would be too final to give the site up aswell.

Thanks once again , I knew I wouldnt be able to finnish this post without a tear

Trace x

[DebraP]

..and I can't read it without a tear either. Lots of them. You can guarantee if there was a Board Award, you'd get it. If there was a Supportive Pal of the year Award, you'd get it. Funny PenPal, Cheerer Uper Awards...you name them, you'd get them. You're a fabulous person to communicate with and you know how many of us love you for it.

I'm more sorry than I can ever get across in words. Enjoy your lunch. Drink that champers, take your time. Life's a b*tch. You deserve better.

love
Debra.

[Traci]

Its kind words that you give keeps me going

[Zed2003]

Traci,

I'm so sooooo sorry to read your post. There's not much that can be said, but I'm glad you feel you'll stick around - the support you've given others has been fantastic, and you deserve better than this. Even at this time, you're strength shines through your post and I wish you the very, very best for the future..

Love Zoe x

[Zed2003]

...mind you - have just read another post from Nikola - were you meant to wait until Monday???

Zoe

[caz1]

O traci - I am so so sorry for you - you really deserved this - you have been so much supprt and have helped keep so many of us (definately including me). There is no justice in this game is there?


I just dont know what to say that doesnt sounds idiotic. Your have heard it all before I'm sure - but take care of yourself, try to focus on all the positives in your life -you are clearly an A1 person and you deserve some luck - which you'll get, I know it.

Drink LOTS of champagne and sit in the sun until you feel better (although it sounds like you are being very strong and philosophical -always tough at a time like this). Lean on all of us and your friends and family. One day you time will come -I can promise you.
Take care....and thankyou for all you words of wisdom and humour!

Keep smiling.
Cazxx

[thetowers]

Traci

Seems really inadequate but just wanted to say i'm really sorry to hear your news. Take care, thinking of you.

Janice.x

[zeena12]

Oh Traci, I'm so sorry, you so much deserved this to happen for you.

You've been so upbeat and positive and funny in all your posts, I hope that you stick around because I love reading your messages. You've got a beatiful dream house to move into (in Oxford??) which will take a lot of your time and energy over the next few weeks. Today you could just chill out, take a walk in Shotover (it's so peaceful there, I used to go there for walks during my first IVF attempt), and just really pamper yourself.

Lots of love and good wishes,
Zeena.

(will you do one final test tomorrow just to make absolutely sure??)

[Traci]

oh yes where ever there is hope there is me!!!!

[AMITHIS]

Traci,

I'm really sorry things didn't work out for you either. Thought maybe with both of us testing around the same day, at least one of us would get lucky.

It sounds like you are keeping it together and I really admire you for how you are handling things.

Thank you for all of the encouragement and laughs your posts provided me with while I was going through my cycle. Good luck with your new house. I wish you all the best.

{{{Staci}}}

[Alison]

Dear Traci - I don't come over to this side of the board so often these days but thought you must be due to test soon. I'm so sorry that it has not worked out for you. You're sounding incredibly strong as ever - which I'm really glad to hear, but do give yourself permission to be upset/angry/ whatever you feel. Its cliched I know but don't bottle it up, and if you don't know who to share it with we're here for you. Talking of which, there's a (small but) lovely group of friends on the "life after" board who have been through a few tmts and are looking at the possibility of never having kids of their own, or deciding on "one last go". I've found them extremely supportive since my last tmt in November - and it gives a good excuse to drop in on old friends on this board and the PG board too!

You take care Traci, much love

Alison xx

[phil]

Traci, i am so, so sorry to read what's happenend. i have been constantly thinking while i was away how you were doing and i know this must be a huge blow for you.

i realise this is so easy for me to say but so hard for the one going through it at the time, but take some space and then think again about it. you are so optomistic for everyone and i know this has helped alot of people, it will happen for you. at least stay with what you've been doing lately that seemed to help so much with your fsh, just in case you do decide to try again.

didn't mean to get on at you....

best of luck with your new house and enjoy the rest of the year. please do make sure you stay on the board. you'd be missed too much.

phil xx

[Grace]

Dear Traci
Like Alison, don't pop on here much now but have been keeping my eye on you and really hoping it was all going to go your way.

I am very, very sorry. That is all I can say really. I have always admired your strength and positiveity so much and the way you have supported so many of us throughout our treatmeants has been fantastic.

As Alison has mentioned, the life after group is wonderful and very supportive. Please know that we are there and really do understand if you need us. I can't tell you how supportive I have found our little meetings, it has really helped me so much.

Thinking of you and Cam

Love
Gracexxx

[sue.m]

Traci,

I'm so sorry to see your news. Like everyone else on here, I've been praying that this was your turn. I can only echo everyone elses words really. You're a lovely person, and I hope that your dreams come true for you sometime in the future, as you truly deserve them to. But until they do, just look after yourself and your hubby........and don't go away, we'd all miss you too much.

Take care,
Sue.x

[Guest]

Hi Traci

I am so sad that you got a BFN.........the world is so unfair, you so deserve to be a mum.....

I don't know what else to say really but I can feel your pain........you never know what is round the corner........things do surprise us sometimes...When things are so crap I feel they have to go the other way at some stage??

Enjoy the champagne...........I will be thinking about you sweets.

All my love and hugs

JenFxxxxxxxx