trying for number two--is it any easier?

[SueQiwi]

Hi There~
I was very active on these boards when we were undergoing IVF two years ago. I was lucky enough to get pregnant on our 3rd IFV and give birth to a beautiful baby girl in November 2009! Everyday I give thanks for my little miracle. I hope that all the ladies I cycled with back then have gotten their little bundles by now too.

I feel so lucky for the gift of my daughter. She is almost a year old now and I am starting to think about trying for number two. But this is so crazy as I vowed never to do IVF again--it was so stressful and horrible. I never wanted to get on that rollarcoaster ever again!! But the urge to have another baby is sooo strong now.

I am wondering if it is any easier trying for number two--knowing that you already have your one dear baby? Or is it just as stressful as the first time? I don't want to waste her childhood away being stressed or depressed about IVF. But I would love to give her a sibling!

I also worry about our success rate as I am now 41 so need to get trying soon. I don't want to be greedy as I feel so lucky to have my daughter--but I keep daydreaming about getting pregnant again!!

I would appreciate any advice or insight from anybody who's been there. Thank you so much.

[JLY123]

Dont know about having 1 and wanting the second as we are currently waiting and praying for # 1...but we want 5 all together, so as stressful as this has been I know it'll be worth it in the end! So if you want more try for more. Just remember to keep everything in perspective (you have a beautiful daughter!) and that way you hopefully won't get too stressed.
Don't really think this is very good "advice" but opinion-wise, I say go for it! and Good luck

[sciteacher77]

We have a son who was born in March of 2009 and we thought trying for the second child would be less stressful as well. It was in the beginning, I was totally relaxed with most of my first IVF cycle *August of 2009). However, I had a late implanter and was on the beta rollercoaster for over a month until my levels were where they should be to see something on US and nothing was there. It took until January of 2010 for me to switch REs and try again. I have had a ton of cancelled cycles & taken a lot of time off to lose weight, etc. since and the baby desperation is back! However, I know how blessed I am with my son and that softens the blow. I have him to make me smile and laugh every day!
Good luck!

[TammyS]

I got lucky with my little Zach at 39 yrs old on our first IVF attempt. I thought when I went back for my frozen ones ...that we'd get pregnant, no problem...even though at this point I was 41, my embryos were from when I was 39. I was wrong...as you can see by my signature...I miscarried. We then started fresh cycles in August at 42 yrs (had to wait due to miscarriage) and BFN. Did another cycle right away and got pregnant again, only to miscarry. Since this miscarriage was so early, we are going right into another cycle now only 3 weeks later. My doc is having me skip bcp's and doing the microdose lupron flare protocol with follistim and menopur...so my IVF tries are very close together. Thank God, cause at 42, every month counts.

My point is dont wait...jump in now. There is a saying that I stole from one of the girls on here..."Never give up on something that you cant go one day without thinking about." If this is you...just go for it. You may be one of the lucky ones...or you may have to keep going...everyone is different and there is no way to know...till you get started again. I regret waiting...every single day.

Does it get easier? Having Zach helps a ton. The whole procedure...honestly feels like no big deal at times...and very difficult at other times...when I'm driving 45 mins each way to my appt with Zach in tow...cause I cant find a sitter. Having 2 miscarriages in 5 months isnt easy either...but I just keep my eye on the prize and keep moving forward. Truth be told...I look at my 2 miscarriages in 5 months as a huge sign that this IS going to work for us.

As the girls on here know...there have been a few times that I have said, "This is it, I'm done"...but then I think about that quote and realize...I wont be finished till I just cant do it anymore...and I dont know when that will be at this point. Every cycle we say this is the last...we've had 3 more since first saying that. Does it take up alot of your time away from your baby...no, not really. Think of the time your little one will be sharing with their sibling soon anyhow. lol

All that being said...I know quite a few girls who got pregnant easily after having a baby...including a few natural miracles...no kidding. Sometimes with some girls...having a baby...kick starts their system and #2 comes easily. I hope this is you.

Good Luck...and feel free to ask any questions you may have.

[jenice]

I had some trouble having # 2. One failed IUI another injectable cycle and 2 canceled IVF cycles one failed IVF cycle and one miscarriage. To be honest there were days when I wasn't sure if I should continue cause of my DD. I was dragging her to appts an hour each way, she was 4 @ the time. I was pulling her out of preschool so I could go to DR appts. I definitely had some guilt, especially on mornings when we had to be in the city and I was waking her @ 5 AM. I really wanted my DD to have a sibling and now I'm 21 weeks pregnant with a boy. This was a real test of patience and of my marriage. When I finally did get pregnant I had a sub-chorionic hemorrhage, scary as hell. The RE thinks I miscarried a twin and I had a blood clot on the placenta with this baby. I was on light duty so to speak and @ increased risk of miscarriage of this one. If I had started bleeding again I would have been on bedrest. So far I'm okay ( knock on wood ) . I'm glad I kept trying but that hemorrhaging episode really scared me. Making me realize bad things can happen. I wouldn't leave the house for a week or two, afraid I would bleed like that again and have my Dd with me. I'm glad I continued and it worked out well in the end for me. Now I think if I would do this all over again for a 3rd ????? I'm not sure, people keep telling me to count my blessings after this baby is born. I have to have a c-section again and this will be my 6th surgery My body I know has had enough and we will have a girl and a boy. Then my mind wanders of more babies I say go for it but @ least you know what you are getting yourself into, so to speak.

[riogirl71]

Yes and No.

Yes because you already have a child and when things don't work out you are so busy taking care of your child and you know you arelady have a miracle it eases the pain.

No because you have to care for a child and what they say is true, mommy always comes last. So it was hard going through IVF wanting to rest and take care of myself but not being able to. I did not have rest after ET or 2WW. I was tired and worn out which makes it more stressful.

I also feel guilty sometimes because some amazing ladies are still rtying to have #1 and I feel a bit guilty. But these are wonderful women and many here are trying for a sibling whether they had kids from another marriage or are trying again. I have found that the ladies who are trying for #1 are sweet and supportive whether you try for #1 or #3!

[karenvancouverisland]

hi sue!! remember me?! wow, and i saw NY4th try on here also just 10 minutes ago.. it's becoming a nostalgic night for me.

so anyways, i had nathan in june 2008 and am prepping for a FET right now.. estimated transfer is around oct 30.. if it doesn't work, we'll do another fresh cycle, which totally stresses me out- both the money and my 38 year old body doing it. i had a low count 2 years ago- so now?!! yikes. but i know i can't resist cause the drive to have another child is just too strong, i couldn't live with myself if i didn't try.

keep us posted ! again, so glad to see you on here

[riogirl71]

karen - how long did you do DHEA and how were your results better? thanks!

[SueQiwi]

Karen! of course I remember you : ) So great to hear from you again. Seems we are in similar circumstances once again!! I sure hope your FET works out. I'd say your chances are good since they are younger embies from 2 years ago? I wish we had some frosties left over--but we only produced 2 embies each cycle. I am so scared to jump on the roller coaster again! But I find myself thinking more and more often about having another baby. I almost feel guilty posting this here as I was lucky enough to have my beautiful little daughter and I know so many of the ladies here are trying so hard for number one.

[karenvancouverisland]

i totally hear you on the guilt thing. we are so blessed already. but at the same time, we are both significant IVF miracles- so this doesn't come easy and we need support too. i'm so scared of my FET not working and i have such a strong desire for another child.

i'll keep you posted- going for u/s on monday!!

[karenvancouverisland]

hi riogirl.. i took 75 mg of dhea daily (50 morning, 25mg night) for 7 weeks before stimming. didn't take any while stimming. the NY center for human reproduction is where i got all my info/ advice from (my clinic didn't support DHEA)

my research indicated that at least 7 weeks was needed.

before DHEA i got 2 mature follies (both had eggs and fertilized) on a flare /maximum dose meds cycle. i did get pg and had a viable pg (saw h/b on u/s at 6weeks) but m/c at 12 weeks.

on DHEA i got 5 mature follies, 4 fertilized, 2 were implanted (one became my son) and 2 were frozen. other than dhea- the meds and protocal were almost exactly the same, except i started stims on day 3 instead of day 4. i credit improvement to dhea.

good luck!!

[Blessedmomof1thruIVF]

We have a 2 year old girl and decided to try again about 6 months ago. The stress got to me and we put it off for a few months. I am beginning injections next week.

I learned a lot from the first time around. First of all I switched Dr's and LOVE the Dr and his staff that I am using now. That alone has helped a lot.

My husband and I are truly blessed to have our daughter and are grateful everyday. We have discussed it and will only be attempting once and if the cycle does not work we are done. It will be tough and stressful but the first time around it was so much more so. It you guys want to attempt again maybe just try once and maybe it'll work on the first cycle and if not re-evaulate.

Good Luck!!

[LisaB75]

hi ladies! Thought I would poke in here since I can identify with most of you. My first IVF was successful in 2006 and I never thought I would go thru it again because I got so lucky and am so blessed... I just didn't see how I could get so lucky again! Then the urge to have another baby kicked in and I just couldn't let it go so here we are... I am on day 3 of stimming and should have ER next week! I can hardly believe it. I do feel more relaxed this time but I haven't hit the 2ww yet..lol! Also the time is going by faster because I already have little one at home to keep up with. I keep googling like crazy "first IVF successful will it work 2nd time", etc and I am driving myself NUTSO! We have to pay out of pocket so this is our last effort unless we have frosties (first time I didn't have any to freeze) and I keep telling myself if it fails it will be ok because I already have my little girl.... but I know I would still be upset. UGH - what an emotional rollercoaster!! I also have some guilt posting in the cycle buddy groups because it already worked for me... but I agree that most of the ladies like to see success stories and are very supportive.

[alexm]

I found this interesting article from a manchester based clinic, manchester fertility services..

Myleene Klass has been in the media this week talking about her 18-month struggle to conceive a second child.

The TV presenter, who recently announced her pregnancy, says it was extremely difficult to get pregnant a second time, and was considering IVF after months of no success. But on the advice of her doctor, decided to continue trying for a few more months, eventually resulting in pregnancy without the need for infertility treatment.

Sometimes, as in the case of Myleene, it can take a lot longer to get pregnant a second time. Many women assume that because they got pregnant easily the first time, having another baby will be just as simple. But this isn’t always the case.

Secondary infertility – the inability to have a second or third child despite a successful pregnancy before – is fairly common. The good news is that if you’re struggling to get pregnant again, this doesn’t necessarily mean you need infertility treatment. Remember that an infertility diagnosis is only considered if you’ve been having regular, unprotected intercourse for up to two years without getting pregnant.

So usually it’s just taking longer than before to get pregnant. However, it’s important to consider that your age could also be a factor. Your infertility starts to decline from age 30 onwards, and even more so from age 35. So if you’ve waited a few years before trying to add to your family, your age could make it harder to conceive this time.

If you think you need help to get pregnant, don’t hesitate to see your GP. You could also consider a Fertility MOT test, which we offer at Manchester Fertility Services.

It’s a comprehensive fertility check up, for both you and your partner, designed to identify any underlying issues which may be stopping you getting pregnant. There’s no need to get a referral from your GP for a Fertility MOT, you can self-refer. For more details, click here.

Source: http://www.manchesterfertility.com/blog/

[CT_Michele]

Hi Sue! Good to see you here again!

I have not yet read all of the responses in this thread, but for me personally, I feel like trying for number 2 has been harder, emotionally. I was lucky enough to get my DD on my first attempt, and yes, I feel super lucky and appreciative. Soon after having her, we tried another fresh cycle. I assumed it would just work b/c the dr's already knew what worked for me. No such luck, failed attempt. We then did an FET, I got a super low beta and it ended up being chemical/early m/c. I was devastated.

If all I am blessed with is my perfect little Ella, then life will be very sweet and wonderful. But, knowing how beautiful and wonderful having Ella was and is makes it that much harder. When trying for Ella, if it didn't work, then I had no idea what I was missing. Since I have already experienced pregnancy and being a mom, I know exactly what I am missing. I long to hear that first cry again. It was absolutely the most beautiful moment of my life. Does that make sense?

But with any luck, we will both get to do it again. Good luck to you!