New here. We've been trying to conceive for many years now. We did IVF in 2005... with scant eggs retrieved. They were only able to salvage 6, 4 of which were deemed acceptable for implantation via ICSI. Costly venture that produced nothing. They did not even recommend trying to retrieve eggs from me again. All of this news at the beginning of December. To this day, I can't even bring myself to celebrate Christmas because it is a bleak reminder every year.
My previous marriage, my ex promised me children, then as the years went on, he had every excuse under the sun as to why he didn't want children and had changed his mind. When excuses began to run thin, he then began verbally, emotionally and mentally abusing me... telling me on a daily basis that I would be a horrible mother... as a result I began to beat myself up and agree with him. I finally after 9 years of marriage gathered some courage around me and ended it with him.... but not without the scars of the emotional and verbal abuse still haunting me to this day.
My now hubby is the sweetest loving man, and he and I began the journey immediately after we got married. That was 7 long years ago. He first had to have a vasectomy reversal (he has 2 adult children). He was terrified, but did it for me. A year later, we immersed ourselves into the IVF expensive torture... and failing that, years of acupuncture, herbs, egg timers, etc, I now look bleakly at the future. The IVF Clinic said our only options were to get an egg donor and go through the expensive ordeal again... with a 60-70% change of it ever working. I don't know if I could live through failure of implantation again...I would probably just want to die.
THEN to make matters worse, I discovered that my ex and his young wife (20 years younger), are PREGNANT!!!! He tried to explain to me that he just didn't want to go through another divorce, so gave in.... then asked if I can forgive him.....how do you think I feel after all years of emotional abuse and begging for a baby !?!??!? I want to tell him when hell freezes over.
Feeling very depressed as the days draw closer to when their baby is due (December) and Christmas around the bend.
Anyhow, just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.
, so thank you for your kind words of support. We went to a support group, but they were only at the initial stages of infertility and none of them having even gone through IVF yet. We did not feel much better after going to that group.