Just wanted to share this....
Firstly we were told that Katie died because of an abnormally short cord
Then Monday we were told that Katie died because of a clotting problem with my blood - the consultant did say at the time (to be fair) that this was the only abnormal result and therefore he was assuming it to be the 'villain'
Now today - final PM report is back and I'm being told that most likely Katie died of infection due to my positive Group B Strep status (which was found out after she'd died).
My head is spinning - and worse than anything, I feel responsible. Normally GBS is only a problem during labour - only other danger is if there is a way for it to get into the amniotic fluid (small tear or something in amniotic sack). I remember a week or so before she died that I had been to the loo and when I had finished some wee came out (sorry for graphic nature of this post). They had told us in antenatal class that incontinence is common and you shouldn't worry - so I thought it was just that. I think it might have happened again at some point as well. With hindsight - was this my amniotic fluid leaking? If I had gone to the hospital they would have swabbed me, found the GBS and given antibiotics. I could have saved my beautiful, perfect baby. Instead, it feels like I gave her life, and then I took it away again.
As you can tell from above, there are still some Qs why Katie died, but it does seem that this is considered to be the primary contributing factor. GBS is generally not a problem when treated properly. In some places they routinely swab for it at 36 weeks and then if positive they can treat you for it before you go into labour (which is where the majority of problems arise). Therefore I'd say to everyone - 1) ask for a swab late in your pregnancy and b) always get any 'leaks' checked out at the hospital.
Easy with hindsight isn't it?
Okay - think I've got some of this off my chest now.
Anjela
xxxx
My Results
Anjela
Wish I could help you out here I can't - how desperately upsetting to keep getting different answers. I was still on your emailed answer to me off the clotting problem. It seems to me they are not definate about any one - I agree with you about GBS - it is something I have asked about and they told me not to worry about as rare and would if nec and see a problem swab in labour! I am now getting concerned again! As for you blaming yourself - it is absolutley not your fault - it seems to me that this was just your pelvic floor - I had considered asking about leaking amniotic fluid as sometimes there seems to be a little bit there but decided that it is hopefully just wee and I think now you have heard this you are trying to make sense of it all and coming back to blaming yourself. IT seems this was just wee to me and not fluid so probably nothing you can do and the strep b was something that might have affected your labour but Katie had died by this point.
I do wish sometimes they would just say they are not really sure which contributed. I doubt (and of course know diddly squat about such things) that it was the strep b, - perhaps still the cord or clotting - I am not helping I know and really we all just want closure in these matters and some reassurance that it won't happen again.
This must be all so dreadful for you and there is nothing I can do - I get most angry about it and then start worrying about strep b and wee!!!
Please look after yourself and try not to blame yourself for taking her life away - what you did was give her life not take it away.
Love
Tracey
xxx
Wish I could help you out here I can't - how desperately upsetting to keep getting different answers. I was still on your emailed answer to me off the clotting problem. It seems to me they are not definate about any one - I agree with you about GBS - it is something I have asked about and they told me not to worry about as rare and would if nec and see a problem swab in labour! I am now getting concerned again! As for you blaming yourself - it is absolutley not your fault - it seems to me that this was just your pelvic floor - I had considered asking about leaking amniotic fluid as sometimes there seems to be a little bit there but decided that it is hopefully just wee and I think now you have heard this you are trying to make sense of it all and coming back to blaming yourself. IT seems this was just wee to me and not fluid so probably nothing you can do and the strep b was something that might have affected your labour but Katie had died by this point.
I do wish sometimes they would just say they are not really sure which contributed. I doubt (and of course know diddly squat about such things) that it was the strep b, - perhaps still the cord or clotting - I am not helping I know and really we all just want closure in these matters and some reassurance that it won't happen again.
This must be all so dreadful for you and there is nothing I can do - I get most angry about it and then start worrying about strep b and wee!!!
Please look after yourself and try not to blame yourself for taking her life away - what you did was give her life not take it away.
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
Oh Anjela
I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel about it being your fault. I blame Katelyn's death on myself too. I keep thinking 'If only I hadn't had the amnio' or 'If only I went to the doctors for antibiotics after the amnio' etc, etc but the fact of the matter is whatever has happened we can't change it. Nothing will bring Katie or Katelyn back.
You didn't know. You did everything in good faith and you are NOT to blame. Like you so rightly said hindsight is a great thing but maybe there is a reason why we don't have it. We would always be trying to change the future and not living or enjoying the present. Life right now sucks and I can wholeheartedly agree with you that IF there was something that could have been done to prevent such a tragic event you would have done it wouldn't you? So therefore it wasn't a deliberate act on your part. If you had felt something wasn't right or gone horse riding or whatever then yes maybe there would be a reason to blame yourself but you didn't and you had no idea that this was round the corner. I will always spend the rest of my life berating myself even though people tell me not to, it is only natural and you are only human. You gave Katie life inside you and it was a cruel twist of fate which took her away, not you.
I don't know much about GBS and can offer you no answers. My sands lady lost 3 babies one due to GBS the other 2 of an incompetant cervix. It really is something that unless it has been a problem before they wouldn't be looking for it. I suppose next time you will be monitored all through the pregnancy to make sure you don't have it.
Anjela, getting the PM results I expect is like starting the whole greiving process again only with a bitter taste in the mouth. We decided against a PM for Katelyn as it wouldn't have given us any more than we already knew.
You are in my thoughts Anjela and I hope that only positives can come out of the findings from the PM for the next time.
Love Dagny xkx
I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel about it being your fault. I blame Katelyn's death on myself too. I keep thinking 'If only I hadn't had the amnio' or 'If only I went to the doctors for antibiotics after the amnio' etc, etc but the fact of the matter is whatever has happened we can't change it. Nothing will bring Katie or Katelyn back.
You didn't know. You did everything in good faith and you are NOT to blame. Like you so rightly said hindsight is a great thing but maybe there is a reason why we don't have it. We would always be trying to change the future and not living or enjoying the present. Life right now sucks and I can wholeheartedly agree with you that IF there was something that could have been done to prevent such a tragic event you would have done it wouldn't you? So therefore it wasn't a deliberate act on your part. If you had felt something wasn't right or gone horse riding or whatever then yes maybe there would be a reason to blame yourself but you didn't and you had no idea that this was round the corner. I will always spend the rest of my life berating myself even though people tell me not to, it is only natural and you are only human. You gave Katie life inside you and it was a cruel twist of fate which took her away, not you.
I don't know much about GBS and can offer you no answers. My sands lady lost 3 babies one due to GBS the other 2 of an incompetant cervix. It really is something that unless it has been a problem before they wouldn't be looking for it. I suppose next time you will be monitored all through the pregnancy to make sure you don't have it.
Anjela, getting the PM results I expect is like starting the whole greiving process again only with a bitter taste in the mouth. We decided against a PM for Katelyn as it wouldn't have given us any more than we already knew.
You are in my thoughts Anjela and I hope that only positives can come out of the findings from the PM for the next time.
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Anjela,
You are in no way to blame for Katie's death. As Tracey says, the leakage after visiting the toilet sounds like a weak pelvic floor rather than leaking amniotic fluid.
As for the GBS, I was found to be a carrier during my pregnancy. I was lucky (in some bizarre way) to have a bleed at 25 weeks when we were away on holiday - the hospital up there tested me for GBS and found I carried it. My local hospital don't believe there's any value in doing tests and so didn't ever test me. It makes me cross that there isn't a routine test here like there is in the States because 25% of the population will at some stage carry the GBS infection. I was hysterical when I found out that my babies were at risk but ultimately I had the benefit of knowing about it and having my babies monitored - you never had that chance.
You should at least be routinely tested for GBS in any future pregnancy but that isn't going to be of any comfort to you now. But you really mustn't blame yourself - you did nothing to cause the loss of your daughter.
Take care and I'm thinking of you.
Jules
You are in no way to blame for Katie's death. As Tracey says, the leakage after visiting the toilet sounds like a weak pelvic floor rather than leaking amniotic fluid.
As for the GBS, I was found to be a carrier during my pregnancy. I was lucky (in some bizarre way) to have a bleed at 25 weeks when we were away on holiday - the hospital up there tested me for GBS and found I carried it. My local hospital don't believe there's any value in doing tests and so didn't ever test me. It makes me cross that there isn't a routine test here like there is in the States because 25% of the population will at some stage carry the GBS infection. I was hysterical when I found out that my babies were at risk but ultimately I had the benefit of knowing about it and having my babies monitored - you never had that chance.
You should at least be routinely tested for GBS in any future pregnancy but that isn't going to be of any comfort to you now. But you really mustn't blame yourself - you did nothing to cause the loss of your daughter.
Take care and I'm thinking of you.
Jules
TTC 5 years. Daniel & Charlotte born 22.03.02, 1st ICSI treatment. TTC for 4 further years. 2nd ICSI cycle abandoned, 3rd cycle BFN. Looking forward to being a happy family of 4.
anjela, im so so sorry for your sad loss but after reading your latest
post, i felt i had to say that u must not blame yourself, if what they
say is correct and that u tested postive to group B strep after your
beautiful daughter died then there was nothing u could have done,
pls dont torture yourself, life is so cruel sometimes and its human
nature always to look for answers but sometimes there just isnt
any.
I read an article back in march in the mail about a woman who sadly
lost her baby to Strep B, again it was heartbreaking to read, she
is now campaigning for national screening, apparantly NHS screening
is available but only given if patient asks for it and u have to know about
it to do this and also the test done here are not as accurate and are
put at 50pct whereas in the us and canada where women are
rountinely tested do a different test which is 95pct accurate, this
particular test has been available in britain from the private Omnilabs
in london.
Take care alisonn xx
post, i felt i had to say that u must not blame yourself, if what they
say is correct and that u tested postive to group B strep after your
beautiful daughter died then there was nothing u could have done,
pls dont torture yourself, life is so cruel sometimes and its human
nature always to look for answers but sometimes there just isnt
any.
I read an article back in march in the mail about a woman who sadly
lost her baby to Strep B, again it was heartbreaking to read, she
is now campaigning for national screening, apparantly NHS screening
is available but only given if patient asks for it and u have to know about
it to do this and also the test done here are not as accurate and are
put at 50pct whereas in the us and canada where women are
rountinely tested do a different test which is 95pct accurate, this
particular test has been available in britain from the private Omnilabs
in london.
Take care alisonn xx