trying for number two--is it any easier?

[riogirl71]

Thank you Sue! When are you thinking of trying? Will you be taking DHEA?
I had 14 eggs out of 14 follies, unfortunately most immature but the good news is that there are 5 that fertilized and hopefully they will turn into beautiful little embryos we can trasnfer and have another healthy baby miracle!
DHEA and other things really helped my response, cycle #1 I had 7 eggs and cycle 2 I had 7 eggs!

Good luck!!!

[karenvancouverisland]

so.. "trying for #2, is it any easier?".... at this point the anxiety of a bfn is killing me. this is not easy at all. my stress level is just building and building. i adore my son more and more every day.. i'm soooo lucky. yet i desperately want to have 2 !! - not 3... a third (if we get there) would be a welcomed blessing, but i wouldn't pursue more treatment for a third.. BUT I REALLY WANT 2 ! arghh.. i'm having a tough day with this.

i've never POAS'd during fertility treatment and i'm considering it, but i know it'd just eff with my mind if i get a bfn on a poas.. at least with the blood test i'd know that a bfn is really a bfn... with a poas- it'd depress me but i'd still be hopeful it was wrong... double ugh..

rio- it's so nice to see where you've progressed to! yah for DHEA and your rockin eggs! i'm very happy for you and sending hugs *

[karenvancouverisland]

thanks SD... you're pro POAS right? i'm researching it.. thinking of buying one tonight

[sharishu]

Like you, I would also like to try for number 2 soon. I'd like to get in better shape first, so I'm on the diet/exericse road right now. I actually did already try for number 2, and I got pregnant, but in a crazy way; I had just finished my first week of suppression when dh urged me to take a pregnancy test 'just in case', and lo and behold, I was pregnant! Naturally! It was truly a miracle as my tubes had undergone serious damage due to severe endo. It wasn't an ectopic pregnancy either; somehow, it ended up in my uterus! Sadly, I went on to miscarry a few weeks later. I am now nearing the end of a year long 'break', and would like to start IVF again soon.

My personal feeling is that you should go for it! I know you said you feel guilty about being a stressed out mommy, but isn't life always stressful? Which mommy ISN'T stressed out?? Basically, my advice is that if you have the means, and you yearn for that second child, don't analyze it too much. Go with your heart on this one. I've personally found that you sometimes have to throw caution to the wind when working to achieve your dreams.

Lots of luck in whatever you decide...

Shari xo
P.S. Shout out to CT Michelle, how are you?

[SueQiwi]

KAren--big congrats!! just saw your terrific news!!! Can't wait to hear official beta numbers!!! so happy for you.

SDTrying--I remember you from one of my previous cycles!! We were all so envious as you had access to unlimited betas!! lol. and I remember you were the first one I had heard of POAS everyday from the very beginning to see the trigger shot fading out and then the BFP coming in!! I wish you luck on number two.

RioGirl--five embies is super!!! How are they dividing now? I hope you are getting tons of cells. I do have a stash of DHEA ready for trying for number two. It is not available here in New Zealand without a Dr script--but I have family in USA so able to get some. I did not use it for number one--but so many low responder ladies here on the board had great success with better egg quality and quantity after taking DHEA. I took Chinese herbs and did accupuncture for number one.

[BichonMom]

Hi Ladies - I just had my first beta today and 1075! I won't get another one for a week. My RE is weird but it looks like they did the same thing with DD so I guess I shouldn't question the madest. I just hate all the long waiting. He is going to do an U/S at the same time as the b/w so I guess its worth the wait. Love seeing all these #2. I'm just a little scared that my #2 has turned into #2 and #3...oh well it is what is is and as long as everyone is healthy and happy that's all that counts.

SDTrying - I'm jealous too of the unlimited betas that great. I know i would be doing the same thing if I had that kind of access

Karen - good luck tomorrow and congrats on your BFP!! Great news!!

Sharishu - that is excellent advise. If the urge is there and you have the means do it, what do you have to loss. If it doesn't work then you are blessed to have one if it does than god help you j/k!!

Rio - 5 embies is awesome, remember it just takes 1. My 2nd IVF we only have 5 embries and they didn't looks to good so RE put all of them back in and we got our little miracle!!! Now, I'm not suggesting you have 5 transferred like me but as long as you have one there always hope and you have 5. Keeping my fingers crossed they keep growing healthy and strong.

Hugs!!

[riogirl71]

Bichon - that is amazing! congratulations! I am so excited, more than one?

we transfered 4 gorgeous embryos, 10/8/8/6 cell with the 6 being a couple of hours behind because it was fertilized later. So I am hoping for our miracle baby!!!! our one 10 cell was fragmented so we left it there, hopefully it will become a frostie!

[karenvancouverisland]

so my beta number dropped, and i guess it's all over. so trying for number 2 isn't much easier... but it is a little, as i know if i didn't have my son, i'd be extra devastated right now.. but i still am devastated.

on monday my beta was 65, wednesday it was 38. so what the f happened?

i wish this wasn't so hard. to boot, i had to put my cat down yesterday. that felt awful. i felt especially guilty that in the last year, with our son, i hadn't paid as much atttention to the cat. before my son, the cat was number 1. in the past year as i noticed myself being short with the cat and giving him less atttention- i thought i'd have time to make up for it once my son got older .. well i was wrong and it feels like crap. it ALL feels like crap

[SueQiwi]

Oh Karen! I am so sorry to hear the news. It's so cruel to have it taken away like that! My heart aches for you. Big hugs.

[sharishu]

Karen, very sorry to hear about your miscarriage, such a letdown, I know the feeling! The night I found out about my miscarriage, my son had a fever which spiked to 105; so immediately following the bad news at the ob's office, we had to rush to the urgi-care center and wait there till 1a.m. with my crying baby.

Time definitely takes care of the pain. I hope you are giving yourself some free time (from work, etc.) to recover and relax as much as possible. Best wishes for your future plans

Shari xo

[ann d.]

Hi Ladies,

@Karen- I'm sorry to hear about your beta dropping. I know how much we all want to add to our little families and I hope as time passes the pain of this one not working out doesn't hurt so much.

I am also trying for #2. I just had my FET this morning. We had 4 five day embryos thawed and one survived. I can say that although I'm trying to stay positive, it is really hard. My RE said that the one that did survive looks "really good" and was expanding, but not sure exactly what that means. I'm on bed rest right now. I won't know officially until Nov.30th but the waiting is already getting tough. Before going into this cycle, I told my husband that we were only going to try this one last time with all these embies and then no more IVF for us. But now, I'm rethinking what if it doesn't work? Am I crazy to want to go through this roller coaster again???

[karenvancouverisland]

no ann, you're not crazy to want to try more/ try harder if it doesn't work this time.. i'm actually shocked at how strong my maternal instincts are right now. i'm so determined to birth another baby, it's shocking even to me.

before our son, i told myself and begged God "all i need is one baby"... i meant it at the time. but now i have the love of a mother in my heart and i so want 1 more. i'd love 2 more, but i'm desperate and determined for one more.

prior to our FET- i was like you... leaning towards calling it quits.. it's so expensive and we are so in debt for this. but after the disappointment of a chemical pregnancy- it was so clear to me that i needed to try again. i was on cloud nine to get the initial BFP's...and then devastated to know it had died.

i told my husband that i didn't want to live with the regret of not trying again. if it doesn't work- so be it. i'm 38 and the writing will 'be on the wall' if another fresh cycle doesn't work.

so what i'm battling with right now as i wait to take DHEA for 3months, then cycle.. is ONCE AGAIN, i can't stand pregnant people (WITH the exception of IVF pregnant people)... my friend who gets pg after trying for 1 month for her first child, is now pg again, same story. i friggin can't stand it. ironically we've been pg together 2x now, each time for me results in m/c... and i don't doubt she'll be giving birth in 9 months from now too.

i hate conversations about pg women, seeing them, ugh. those bad feelings are back again. i'm so jealous it's brutal.

so i'll wait to hear about your beta nov 30.. best of luck to you and take comfort in your RE"s words that the embie looks good. the best thing i've done in the 2ww is DISTRACTION.... and hey- should be easy with a 1 year old!!

[JenMink55]

Hi Karen, It's Jen from the November Cycle Buddies. Got my BFN-Chemical today and needless to say I am beyond sad and hopeless. I too am 38 and I am faced with making he decision to transfer my last two frosties, or try for another Fresh Cycle. Financially both are going to be hard, but like you the maternal instict is so strong it's hard not to take the plunge.

I am curious about the DHEA? I keep hearing people talking about it but not sure what it is. I will more than likely be taking a few months off from IVF and try again in February. Really leaning towards a Fresh before I get too old and cannot produce viable eggs....

UGH... why does this have to be so damn hard!

[karenvancouverisland]

oh jen.. i'm just so so sorry for your chemical. it friggin sucks.

i wrote this long winded post to you on the nov thread as i just felt your pain, and the damned thing got lost. then i wrote a brief one, but i've sure been thinking of you tonight, so it's ironic we're talking here.

i don't know why it has to be so hard.

so DHEA is not fully researched yet, but preliminary studies show it can help egg quality and quantity for those with DOR - diminished ovarian reserve. otherwise known as high FSH. which is found on either your day 3 or day 10 blood work and in a 'clomiphene challenge test'.. (take the clomiphene which stims ovaries, get the bloodwork).

so you should have had those tests done.. check into it if you're not familiar with what i'm talking about. ironically they missed taking my day 10 bloodwork (those F@#Ker's) even though i'd been on clomiphene for 10 MONTHS!! trying to conceive. ugh , some OBGYN he was. then my clinic let me cycle without noticing it had never been done.. then my cycle failed MISERABLY.. indicating i might have DOR.. which obviously i do.

so the NY center for human reproduction is the website to get DHEA info from... let's keep in touch on here.. i know i could sure use the support. chemical pg's are such a tease.. and then a heartbreak. i want to take solace in AT LEAST getting pg with the chemical.. but i'm not even sure if that makes sense.

[karenvancouverisland]

oops.. and DHEA is a steroid, androgen