**October FET**

[kynlee]

Starwishes- Thanks for checkin in Hope your doing ok...

AFM-i poas yesterday and it came out BFN... My Beta is Tuesday and now I m not looking forward to it... Im starting to think its me... I am getting really disappointed... all I can do is pray and hope Tuesday it is BFP if not then I am going to wait til end of Jan I so wanted to be preggers for the holidays...

[karenvancouverisland]

hi jbird, yes, it's called a chemical pg. it simply means the embie implanted, started to grow, and then just stopped.. probably 'nature taking care of itself'.. it's just another name for an early m/c. they call it chemical b/c it's only detected by blood chemistry... it spontaneously aborts before it can be seen on u/s. it's called a m/c if it dies after a h/b is seen on u/s..

gawd, i'm a wealth of info, aren;t i ? let's hope i have more to show for all my troubles than practically being an IF nurse.

[karenvancouverisland]

oh kynlee, i just saw your post after i already replied.

i'm so sorry about your POAS... but it really isn't over til the beta, but i understand the odds are probably not good? how many days past fert/ ovulation are you?

i wanted to be PG for christmas for YEARS.. i got my wish with my son, but it wasn't what i'd really wished for.. on Dec 16 at 9wks pg, i had a big bleed, and another a few days later, threatened m/c.. then i bled for a month... everything obviously turned out good, but the feeling of 'impending doom' was constant.

i was also really hoping to be pg this holiday season and be really enjoying it. this all sucks. instead i'm planning ou r next cycle. i'm 38 and really scared about how my body will work, or not work.

hugs to you.. my son is freaking out right now, lol. gotta run

[kynlee]

Karen- I had my transfer on the 5th and tok the test on Sat which was 8days, people keep saying thats early... I am going to hold on to hoope till Tuesday... Maybe will be preggers together for the New Year

[karenvancouverisland]

and how many days old was the embie?

[kynlee]

Karen- I believe they were 4day 6 cell embies... With that being said, they didnt make it, I got another BFN

[karenvancouverisland]

oh kynlee..i'm so sorry. bah. it all jsut sucks doens't it? wish i could hug you right now.. i know how disappointing it all is.

so how are you doing with all this? do you have it in you to keep trying? frankly the hope that it'd work next time was always the biggest antidote to my depression after bfn's, m/c, cancellations, being recommended to go donor eggs, ect. and that's where i'm at now too... determined to try once more.

and how's your dh taking it? did you tell many friends? ugh, i did, and at least 1 of them is pg herself. hate that. i think another is too and just isn't saying yet. double ugh. i friggin hate pg people most of the time.. except IVF pg women.. my heart sings for them ...i think if you are determined to have a baby.. it will happen. much love to you.k.

[kynlee]

Hi Karen- AS much as I am sad, I dont want to give up, My DH I think felt worse for me seeing me crying but he says I am not a quitter and he is right... I am going to relax for the next couple months and try back up for the new year... We have not told our families what we are going through (IVF) cause my DH is private... I wish we could it would make things easier I think... I have told 2 of my friends ( one that works with me and my bff) my DH doest know nor will they tell them they no but I needed to talk to people cause it is emotional... I feel the same way when I see pregnant girls, I get kinda jealous and I want to just cry that it isnt me.. But I am super happy when someone on the ivf board is preggers maybe cause they are in the same boat as me... I believe God will let it happen for me, just have to wait alittle longer I guess Where are you now on your Journey? D you have to wait for AF?

[jbird30]

I'm so sorry ladies. This is so hard. I actually started bleeding yesterday (does the roller coaster ever end??) We ran to the doc, they did a sono, and said everything was fine, so I felt better... only to go through today and have it happen again. Luckily, I have an appt. tomorrow morning. It's all so nerve-racking. Why can't it just be easy for all of us? You think once you finally get your BFP, everything is wonderful... but, the uncertainty just continues.

Sorry, just venting... hugs to you both.

[karenvancouverisland]

hi all, kynlee and jbird..

yes jbird, i quickly discovered that when i was PG...it was only the beginning of the anxiety- NOT the end, as i had previously thought..

and get this- my close girlfriend, who had no fertility issues, but 2 kids- gave me a reality check when i was PG...

i said "gawd, it's awful, i constantly worry about my pregnancy dying or something bad happening to my baby in utero"

she said, laughing "just wait til he's born- you'll constantly worry about the same things!"

uh oh.. lol.. but seriously jbird...i bled with my son from week 9-13.. and he's fine i started to really enjoy my pregnancy around 6 months.. but was still worried quite a bit.. FINALLY at around month 8-9, near the end, i was just a happy pregnant person, and happy that i could just ENJOY the rest of my pregnancy. and literally- as soon as i decided that..i went into pre-term labour and had my son 5 weeks early..

god has a sense of humour

kynlee... yes i'm waiting for my beta to return to 0.. getting it re checked tomorrow as i've had some bleeding but not a full bleed. my beta last check was 7.. it's ironic- i think my body's trying to 'hang on ' to the pregnancy. so i'm going to do 3 months of DHEA and then a fresh cycle.... i'm optimistic

[kynlee]

Jbird- Everythingwill be ok... Illbe sayinga prayer for you You can always vent to us, that is what we are here for

Karen- does it usually take awhile to have the beta # go down? Im still waiting for AF, been off the meds since Tuesday , was hoping to get it while I was off from work, but probably will get here Monday when I go back

Thinking of you guys xxxx

[karenvancouverisland]

well i had a chemical pregnancy from my FET, so this can happen occasionally. it just means that part (or all) of the pregnancy that started growing, that although it died, it's staying in my uterus. i can't do more IVF til it goes to zero. so my next AF will also be my 'spontaneous abortion" or m/c (they don't call it m/c this early)

i've had some bleeding, but i know there's more- with that progesterone lining, it should be heavy. ugh.

knowing AF, she will come when you least want it! ugh.. thinking of you ladies too.. hugs*

[jbird30]

Thanks ladies. Waiting for AF sucks! Mine had come with a vengeance after my failed cycle. As if you want to deal with that of all things right now...

Do either of you have plans to jump back on the wagon yet, or are you going to give it some time?

Karen, you're right about the anxiety, I probably will worry about every little thing. I can't help it! Thanks for sharing your experience with the bleeding. The more I hear that, the more I feel better.

Kynlee, thanks for the prayers... it means a lot!

The doctor has me on bedrest for the next few days. My first doctor was more lax about the whole situation when I went on Weds, and literally told me just to "use good judgment" and "not go out and play football." The second doc I saw Friday AM was a bit more cautious and concerned with the color of the blood (bright red), so, that's where the bedrest came from. Just trying to take it easy for now.

Hugs,
Jeannine

[kynlee]

Jeannine- I see my Dr Dec 3rd, but I am going to wait to do a Fresh cycle towards end of Jan, beginning of Feb... I wanted to have a couple AF to get my body rested and ready to start more meds... I did 2 FET's back to back and I am hoping for a FRESH cycle the next time My Sister is gettin Married end Of Jan and I dont want to start a cycle and have any complications before her big day, so I figured maybe I can start meds end Of Jan and have ER in Feb... Will see what the Dr thinks when we sit down and talk in a coule weeks... So sorry you are bleeding, just rest I will say a pray for you and the baby... (hugs)

[karenvancouverisland]

hey everybody.... hi kynlee- just to answer your earlier question.. it doesn't usually take long for AF to come/ beta to drop to zero.. but in the odd case it does. i had my beta tested again two days ago and it was at zero.

if you're concerned AF is taking too long, call your clinic. they should have your beta retested.. if it's refusing to drop to zero, they could D&C you, or give you a medication that induces a complete m/c.