Fall 2010 Cycle Group

[moorebaby]

had to bump us up...not sure what's up w/ this spam crap from maddea chick, but it's ANNOYING!!!

[margi26]

Sonya: Thanks for sharing your story--I hope that it helped to do so. It brought tears to my eyes. You are a very special woman. The loss of your sister is not something I can fully understand, yet I can feel the pain and grief you still emote. Then I look at the joyous picture of you and DH and just smile thinking about the two of you listening to the HB on your u/s just the other day. Life is good. Eat all the breakfast you want---any time of the day!

Karian : Don’t worry about not feeling any different...it is too difficult to truly discern any symptoms you may have anyway since they could be due to the hormones you are taking. Good luck with the evil stick in the morning!!! If you get 2 lines, you gotta show us!! (But if you don’t--remember there is plenty of time yet).

Karen: Gonna wait until Monday...you keep saying that...hm....you are starting to sound in Crazytown! Mayor candidate?

Karin1: What a senseless tragic loss of your sister. She sounds like a beautiful woman with a wonderful heart. I am so sorry. It sounds like there is a lot of connection and positive energy right now with you. Visualize it. Sorry that your family is a bit “nuts” too--sounds like it is for many of us. But hold onto the positives in your life and don’t let the negative have control or power over you. And yes, I will be POASing indeed. No doubt there, buddy. Question is not “if” but rather when and how often. LOL. I have 20 IC and 3FRER’s staring me in the face in the bathroom...keep the lounging going strong..let them wait on your hand and foot. Let us know about your last embie when you hear...

Tammy: That is crappy about your headaches. Hope that tonight goes alright and that you are able to keep up a protective bubble of positive energy to let their negativity just bounce off!

Rio: You are an angel Thank you...thank you...thank you. Take care of yourself and forget about what your mother has to say/think. She has her own issues that have absolutely nothing to do with you. You are an awesome woman who has her priorities in order. You have made such a wonderful life for yourself and DH and DS-- it is too bad that she can’t see and appreciate that. But--not for you to worry about or to try to convince her. Let it go. I know--easier said than done--I have a completely nutty self-absorbed mother who makes everything about her--no matter what. So my advice is to keep emotional distance. Especially now when you are going through all that you are. Rest up my friend. This OHSS will pass....and you will be on your way with this wonderful pregnancy.

Amanda: Yes, thanks for keeping up with the list!

AFM: I can relate to family dysfunction and stress. I have siblings that I haven’t seen in years. Two of them didn’t come to my wedding 2 1/2 years ago when I finally found the love of my life. All my family--siblings, mom, grandmother were to come to our home for Thanksgiving--I was so excited as this would have been the first time in 10 yrs we have all been together for a holiday. But, one by one they have all canceled. I was quite disheartened initially, but DH helped me put it in perspective--the stress of having them all here and the drama they bring (with the exception of my one sister to whom I am very close) wouldn’t be great for me while in the height of Crazytown in the middle of my 2ww--which is where I will be next week.

[moorebaby]

Hi ladies! I'm here...i have been reading, just not posting. I have been keeping myself occupied with a huge stack of tests that i want to correct before thanksgiving break. Some of you have asked about how i'm keeping myself calm....haha! Don't be fooled lol! I'm googling things like crazy & analyzing every pull & cramp. According to the chart of what happens on a day to day basis, my baby(ies) should have attached to the uterine lining today & implantation should bectaking place between tomorrow & monday. I have been doing a lot of praying & positive thinking & visualization. It's really not in my control anymore. I just have to be positive, yet realistic. Things may work & they may not. Don't get me wrong my emotions are complety involved & whichever way this cycle goes, i will definitely feel it. This time next week i'll either be cautiously optimistic & happy or completely upset & pissed.
Lots of love to you all!

[leorira11]

I'm feeling really depressed...

We met with an adoption agent. Adoption was always Plan B, just in case the IVF didn't work. Well - for me BFPs have consistently sucked even more than BFNs. I can't handle another BFN, but I'm even more terrified of losing another pregnancy....

Adoption is just a huge/expensive obstacle. Our IVF is covered by our health insurance. Adoption would cost $35,000 plus travel expenses (international adoption - domestic adoption isn't an option here). Also, the adoption process takes about 15 months. And worst of all, any child we adopt would be at least over the age of one, probably closer to two. Granted, I'd rather adopt a toddler than never have kids - but it's a big deal to give up on the idea of having a baby....

I really don't want to do the IVF anymore. I'm so sick of this. We have been doing IVF back-to-back since January 2009 (except the times I get pregnant). Always doing another cycle. And another....

I can't believe we have been trying to conceive for 3 years. So many of my friends are having their SECOND kid. No one ever tells you that infertility can happen at the age of 21.

My mom was really young when I was born - we are only 23 years apart. She joked that she would be a grandmother at 45, while some of her friends were still dealing with little kids. Now she definitely won't be a grandma at 45.... I'm hoping by 50! I really thought I would be a mom at 22, then 23, then 24. Even if this cycle works - I will be 25 when I have a kid....

I'm just so depressed. I really want to stop, but I just can't. We have frozen embryos now, but what if this FET doesn't work? I start another fresh cycle? Ughhh....

People always tell us that we are so young, we have so much time. But I feel like I'm losing my youth to this monster. I feel like the infertility and the losses have aged me so much.

Sorry for the depressing mood. No one else understands. The IVF has worked for us and I've gotten pregnant twice. No one understands why I would want to stop....

[klinger13]

Hi ladies! We have another busy week this week on the board. Betas for jennieswa, karen, karian, ester, & rio (repeat) are all this week. I have a feeling our BFP list is going to have a bunch of additions to it! Ultrasounds for stephanie, amesy (1st u/s), and me are also this week. Ladybugg has ET Tuesday and we've got tammy & lauren1171 (and probably Michelle) stimming away so we should have some SnS reports to hear about. Exciting stuff!! So with Thanksgiving coming up here in the US (I know Sonya, Leora, Osi, & Amesy are in other countries) who will be busy cooking this week? I fortunately am just responsible for bringing beverages...I always luck out with the easy tasks.

Sonya & Karin - What heartbreaking stories you shared. I'm so sorry you both have had to go through such painful times in your life but I'm glad you felt you could share those stories with us. I know we were all sending you virtual hugs as we read them.

Leora - You have every right to be depressed. IVF and trying to conceive in general does eat away at your years in ways people don't understand. They don't realize how time consuming and more importantly emotionally draining the process is. And like you said, the BFNs are hard but the losses are harder. I'm really hopeful that this FET works for you and you have a happy, healthy full-term pregnancy and not have to worry about IVF for awhile. But let yourself feel depressed and then recharge your PMA for this FET cycle.

rio - You're very welcome! Keeping the list has been a fun way to get through the process. It's hard to believe we're almost to the end of the fall cycle group already! I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. I really hope the OHSS subsides soon.

ester - Glad you're hanging in there! You're always so quiet in the 2ww that I too always think, wow, she's so calm.

margi - As I said to rio, I've been happy to keep up the list for us all. I'm sorry your family has canceled for the holiday, that just sucks! I can understand your disappointment after thinking everyone was going to finally get together after so many years. But I think in the end DH is right, better not to have that added stress and negativity around.


-ttg1219 (Tiff) – hysteroscopy 11.19, start Lupron 11.21
-Krys – started estrogen 11.11, lining check 11.23, FET 11.25
-leorira11 (Leora) – started estrogen 11.16, FET hopefully within the next 3 weeks


-x0Heather0x - FET


-ChelleDe (Michelle) – start BCP 10.25, start meds approx 11.22 if SnS good


-rypell1985 (Ryann) – start Lupron 10.11, lining check 11.29, FET 12.3
-zen_scrapper – start Lupron 11.10, approx ER 12.7
-BakersBaby (Kelly) – start BCPs 11.1, start Lupron 11.18, start stims approx 12/1-12/3


-TammyS – start Lupron 11.18, start stims 11.19
-lauren1171 – start stims 11.20, ER approx 12.4


-ladybugg1999 – Gest Surrogate – ER for ED 11.18, ET 11.23


-jennieswa – started estrogen patches 10.26, SnS 11.6, FET 11.11, Beta 11.22
-karenthescorpio – start Lupron 10.17, start stims 10.28, ER 11.9 w/ ET 11.15, Beta 11.23
-Karian – start stims 10.30, ER approx 11.8, ER 11.10 w/ ET 11.15, Beta 11.24
-moorebaby (Ester) – start Lupron 10.22, start stims 11.2, ER 11.13 w/ ET 11.16, Beta 11.27
-Cheri76 – start stims 11.2, ER 11.13 w/ ET 11.15, Beta 11.30
-margi26 – IUI start stims 11.9, IUI 11.18, Beta 12.2
-karin1 – BCP, start Lupron 10.19, ED starts stims 11.1, ER for ED 11.14 w/ ET 11.19, Beta 12.1


-hopeforbabies (Teresa) – ER 9.7, ET 9.10, Beta 9.22 = 276, 9.24 = 534, u/s 10.1 – Twins, Next u/s 10.11 – Singleton
-Tess69 – FET 9.22, Beta 10.1 = 150, 10.6=1066, 10.13 = 15000, u/s 10.26 - Singleton
-macfamily – ER 10.5 w/ ET 10.8, Beta 10.19 = 143, 10.21 = 393, u/s 11.2
-FrecklesDC (Kaylie) – ER 10.12, ET 10.15, Beta 10.26 = 123, 10.28 = 256, u/s 11.4 – Singleton, u/s 11.11 – saw HB
-baby_blu73 (Stephanie) – ER 10.13, ET 10.17, Beta 10.26 = 273, 10.28 = 660, u/s 11.4 – Twins, next u/s 11.22
-DandMe (Sonya) – ER 10.12 w/ ET 10.17, Beta 10.26 = 137.8, 10.28 = 351, 11.2 = 2826, 11.4 = 6060, 11.8 = 19840, u/s 11.17 - Singleton
-Cassmaster – ER 10.14 w/ ET 10.19, Beta 10.28 = 32, 10.30 = 78, 11.1 = 248, 11.4 = 2120, 11.6 = 5498, u/s 11.12 – Singleton
-klinger13 (Amanda) – ER 10.21 w/ ET 10.24, Beta 11.4 = 266, 11.8 = 1126, 11.11 = 3066, 11.15 = 11603, u/s 11.18 – Twins, next u/s 11.24
-amesy – ET 10.22, BFP 11.5, b/w & u/s 11.25
-crystal335 – start stims 10.16, ER 10.28 w/ ET 11.2, Beta 11.11 = 355, Beta 11.13 = 926, u/s 11.29
-riogirl71 – start stims 10.27, ER 11.6 w/ ET 11.9, Beta 11.19 = 107, 11.22 = TBD

on your journey
-DCRunningMama
-Tiger04
-dvcantu7378 (Victoria)
-turtle0619 (Franny)
-chilipepperrose46
-lauren319
-lou71
-BLang4d (Brandy)
-starwishes
-Anniegirl
-Meinemo
-NancyB
-eyes230
-Osi
-Lauren
-kynlee
-annashope

Waiting for an update
-dawgs1257 – ER 9.3 w/ ET 9.6, Beta 9.20 - ??
-jla018 – stimming away - ??
-shahney (Alicia) – started stims 9.16 - ??
-coop2010 – start Lupron 9.17, Follistim 10.1, ER approx 10.9, ET approx 10.14 - ??
-carebear77 (Carrie) – ER 10.11, ET ??
-andrea4 – ER 10.10 w/ ET 10.13, Beta TBD ??
-LisaB75 – start Lupron 10.6, start stims 10.23??
-hopefullintime (Dee) – Sept/Oct
-yingz - FET Sept
-Sher – FET Sept/Oct
-kbillsy – Sept/Oct
-babidreamz – starting IVM early Oct
-anacris (Nov)
-Wondercat – in our thoughts
-amanda1979 – Waiting until January
-jenna81078 – BCPs, baseline 11.8
-taxcplforivf (Ginger) – BCPs, waiting for calendar

[DandMe]

I'm feeling really depressed...

We met with an adoption agent. Adoption was always Plan B, just in case the IVF didn't work. Well - for me BFPs have consistently sucked even more than BFNs. I can't handle another BFN, but I'm even more terrified of losing another pregnancy....

Adoption is just a huge/expensive obstacle. Our IVF is covered by our health insurance. Adoption would cost $35,000 plus travel expenses (international adoption - domestic adoption isn't an option here). Also, the adoption process takes about 15 months. And worst of all, any child we adopt would be at least over the age of one, probably closer to two. Granted, I'd rather adopt a toddler than never have kids - but it's a big deal to give up on the idea of having a baby....

I really don't want to do the IVF anymore. I'm so sick of this. We have been doing IVF back-to-back since January 2009 (except the times I get pregnant). Always doing another cycle. And another....

I can't believe we have been trying to conceive for 3 years. So many of my friends are having their SECOND kid. No one ever tells you that infertility can happen at the age of 21.

My mom was really young when I was born - we are only 23 years apart. She joked that she would be a grandmother at 45, while some of her friends were still dealing with little kids. Now she definitely won't be a grandma at 45.... I'm hoping by 50! I really thought I would be a mom at 22, then 23, then 24. Even if this cycle works - I will be 25 when I have a kid....

I'm just so depressed. I really want to stop, but I just can't. We have frozen embryos now, but what if this FET doesn't work? I start another fresh cycle? Ughhh....

People always tell us that we are so young, we have so much time. But I feel like I'm losing my youth to this monster. I feel like the infertility and the losses have aged me so much.

Sorry for the depressing mood. No one else understands. The IVF has worked for us and I've gotten pregnant twice. No one understands why I would want to stop....

Oh.... I totally can relate about the adoption. We called last winter after our failed cycle. Same story... $35,000 (50,000 for siblings) and up to two years...Plus no promises that we would get a child that was HIV free or mentally stable. We looked into domestic adoption (abandoned children, or kids who were taken through social services because they were abused), and although we were willing to take sibling groups or older kids, we were told there were 'hundreds' of couples ahead of us and most of the kids we would be introduced to would suffer from drug or alcohol effects or sever mental disabilities. And... get this... because we were trying to have our own baby.... we would be 'red flagged' because they didn't want their adopted out children to feel 'second best'. WTF? I told the woman that I'm pretty sure that any adopted kid would much rather have his or her natural mother instead of me, but that I would still be a wonderful parent and provide an amazing, gifted life for the child. The relationship between adoptives and their parents will ALWAYS be a little different than naturals and their parents, but one is not better than the other.

I am really sorry that you went through that as well. For us, it was almost like another failed cycle or miscarriage. Just another roadblock on our path to having a family.

But I will say this.. as much as you don't want to hear it... you are young and that is a huge, huge, huge bonus for you guys. When I see young women undergoing these things I am filled with hope and surety that they will be successful. This isn't easy, no matter what age you are, but you must trust us 'older' women when we say that our age is a visible barrier that we can almost literally SEE closing down in front of us. Thank god you do not have to face that.... I know it doesn't make the pain of a bfn easier, or the journey easier... but there is an element of time that you are so very blessed to have.

I appreciate your post on adoption because I really could relate! Is there some reason you are not interested in domestic adoption? You are young and healthy and prime candidates to be 'choosen' by birth parents (unlike us... we were told there were too many younger couples for us to be choose by birth parents).

Big huge hugs to you.. don't give up hope... things will work out eventually... you've just got to keep trying. Do what you need to do emotionally to gain the strength and know that you are anything but alone!!

[leorira11]

Sonya - thanks for your thoughts. I always thought adoption could be Plan B - but it's really not....

Domestic adoption isn't really an option because of where we live. Israel is a really really small country. There just aren't that many kids available for adoption. And despite the fact that there is a very religious undertone to the laws here, Judaism doesn't have any problems with 1st trimester abortion - so anyone who gets pregnant unplanned has an abortion (paid for by the national health care system). Regardless of my position on abortion - the fact is that most women here turn to abortion and not adoption. We can put our names on the list (and we are very good candidates), but the waiting period is about 6 years.

We'll keep going with the IVF. But this whole thing sucks.

[DandMe]

Sonya - thanks for your thoughts. I always thought adoption could be Plan B - but it's really not....

Domestic adoption isn't really an option because of where we live. Israel is a really really small country. There just aren't that many kids available for adoption. And despite the fact that there is a very religious undertone to the laws here, Judaism doesn't have any problems with 1st trimester abortion - so anyone who gets pregnant unplanned has an abortion (paid for by the national health care system). Regardless of my position on abortion - the fact is that most women here turn to abortion and not adoption. We can put our names on the list (and we are very good candidates), but the waiting period is about 6 years.

We'll keep going with the IVF. But this whole thing sucks.

I didn't realize that's the way it was there.... In Canada (not sure how it is in the US) we have a very high number of Native babies who are in the system - including many, many newborns. Those babies are only available to other Native families because of their 'cultural' needs as the Native bands insist they be exposed to. There are very few Native families looking to adopt, so these babies are often raised in foster homes (bounced around) that are.. yes... white homes. So instead of the babies being put into white families who are willing to fully adopt and raise them as their own, they are left to foster parents until they are old enough to be on their own - they tend to leave and be in the 'other system' by their mid teens. It's very, very sad!

I would gladly have my child raised in a loving, caring Native, Jewish, Catholic, Black, East Indian, Muslim... any home that they were loved and given a sense of family and belonging rather than just focusing on their own birth culture!

[karenthescorpio]

Morning ladies. I broke down and did it. I POAS'd and it was POSITIVE!!!!!!!!! OMG I'm so darn happy!!! And kind of in disbelief!!!! I used a clear blue easy digital. A website I found says it measures at least 50 miu of hcg!!!!! OMG I'm pregnant!!!!!!

[moorebaby]

Morning ladies. I broke down and did it. I POAS'd and it was POSITIVE!!!!!!!!! OMG I'm so darn happy!!! And kind of in disbelief!!!! I used a clear blue easy digital. A website I found says it measures at least 50 miu of hcg!!!!! OMG I'm pregnant!!!!!!

woohoo!!! i told you on the november thread that you're already preggo! congrats & i'm so happy for you!

[DandMe]

Morning ladies. I broke down and did it. I POAS'd and it was POSITIVE!!!!!!!!! OMG I'm so darn happy!!! And kind of in disbelief!!!! I used a clear blue easy digital. A website I found says it measures at least 50 miu of hcg!!!!! OMG I'm pregnant!!!!!!

I don't think anyone will be surprised... HAPPY, yes!! Surprised? Naaahhhh.. LOL

HUGE HUGE HUGE CONGRATS!!!!!

[klinger13]

Morning ladies. I broke down and did it. I POAS'd and it was POSITIVE!!!!!!!!! OMG I'm so darn happy!!! And kind of in disbelief!!!! I used a clear blue easy digital. A website I found says it measures at least 50 miu of hcg!!!!! OMG I'm pregnant!!!!!!

Karen - WOO-HOO!!!! I'm so excited to read your post this morning!!! CONGRATULATIONS and I can't wait for your first beta!!

[margi26]

Karenthescorpio: (This is my first attempt at a blinkie--just for you!-hope it works...)

[jennieswa]

Karen- Congratulations!!! When is your beta? I can't keep everything straight.

Sonja- so happy to hear your u/s went well!

AFM- Beta tomorrow morning. I'm not POAS....DH is not supportive of that and I figure at this point I might as well just wait. I've had some cramping, my boobs are so sore and I have heartburn but...these can all be side effects from the meds and what I've eaten....

Crossing my fingers and toes to post a POSITIVE on the board tomorrow.

Sending hugs and postiive thoughts to everyone.

[karin1]

Karen.....CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! That's so great! I thought you'd be one to hold out till beta. Glad u didn't! What a nice Sunday surprise! I can't remember....how many did u transfer and what grade?