BFN Group

[to_have_fun08]

DJ-BJ - I am thinking TWINS. CONGRATS!!

Sorry for the new comers to the board. Like it was mentioned in a previous post, we have all been there done that. Question on what might have gone wrong and when we can try again. Take a break for a little while, enjoy life. Take a step back and make a plan. That is what has gotten me through all of this. I have been on the IVF boards for over 3 years and would just like to tell you that "most" people are preggo within 3 cycles. Of course that isn't me.

Good Luck!!

[Heidi67]

DJ-BJ -- Congrats on your BFP Sounds like multiples.

Blissful- It takes about 5 months for the eggs you release to develop. So the sooner you make changes the better. I found COQ10 to help with embryo quality.

AFM- Another BFN. With all the emotional stress of my aunts sudden passing the day before transfer snowball didn't have much of a chance. Our final fresh cycle will be some time in the spring. Going to take a break for abit, and plan on finding a new accupunturist for Jan. Now it's time to grieve.

[Sunshine1576]

Heidi,
I regret hearing about your aunt, take all the time you need to grieve... I personally think aunts are truly one of God's most special people. I had an Aunt Sandi that would take me shopping growing up and when I was pre-teen bought me my first training bra and clothes of all sorts. Then I had Aunt Linda who would come see me Fl and have a drink with me and always wanted to know what was going on with my life. On my dad's side, there was my Aunt Marty, who always has been there since my dad passed away. It's the worst time to lose anyone during the holidays, but It does remind us all to take a moment to remember our loved ones and be thankful for the warm memories we shared. Was she a good cook? Maybe a family recipe book could be started and everyone could contribute to it, in honor of your aunt.
Take Care,
Sunshne

[cabhi80]

hi all,
I found this support group yesterday and i find this really good... i have ttc for 4 years now...2 failed IVF's already in the BFN club!!!. on a break..next cycle in Jan 2011.

[DJ-BJ]

im happy but i try not to be too excited until i hear that fetal heart beat.... i only asked for one and if GOD gave me two thats bonus already.its funny though my DH has not had enough sleep at nite thinking abut it. i guess he couldnt believe it that for so long a time we have been trying, stressed emotionally and financially, this has finally come. ... sometimes i even pause and think what it would be like now to have a little one at home when it was just the 2 of us all along, but i guess this is it....!!!! i hope you girls will have the same experience as i have now...i wish also for other people to understand what we all are going through.... the pain, disappointment, the envy and jealousy that why others can have and why we cant....i hope for all your christmas wishes to come true...no amount of money can buy such happiness....pray hard , a lot of trust and positive thoughts to all of us...baby dust to u all....

[BlissfulCS]

So sorry Heidi- two losses at this time is such a hard thing to deal with. Grieving is exactly what we're doing! It's funny, it wasn't so tough after my first BFN, it was this most recent one that started me thinking..."what if this never works???!!!" I have been trying to focus on the positive though and feel that for me there is something to be learned. I will be a mother one way or another, my babies just aren't ready for me yet!

Aunts are great...I have two nieces... A 2 month old and a newborn. My sisters are both younger than me and very fertile but I have never been jealous because I have always thought of myself as "embracing my auntieness". it sometimes hurts to be around them but not as much as it helps.

For those of you who haven't read it, I strongly recommend the book "Conquering Infertility". It's about dealing with the pain and stress of infertility and it has been a huge help for me.

Welcome Cabhi...sorry for your struggles. We are all here for you.

[margi26]

So sorry Heidi. That is indeed quite difficult to have to deal with all at once. (((HUGS)))

AFM: I am nearing the end of my 2ww with my 2nd IUI cycle to follow my 3 IVFs. Trying to stay hopeful, but it isn't easy after my past track record...I have been POASing and all are negative thus far. Two more days and then will have beta and know for certain.

[summit]

Hello everyone & welcome newcomers!

AF arrived today and I am scheduled to begin birth control pills in a few days to prep for January cycle. I am hopeful yet also trying to mentally prepare myself, but I don't really think this process gets any easier as you go through it multiple times. As of right now this will likely be my last attempt since I will have exhausted my insurance... Keeping my fingers crossed for January 2011.

DJ-BJ - great news!

Everyone else hang in there,

[keeponhoping]

Thank you so much for creating this thread. Although I've read tons of forums, this is my first one to join and reply to. It was just what I needed today. My hubby and I have been trying for about 5 years now (naturally, clomid, iui, now ivf with icsi). It's definitely been a trying journey but I am utterly grateful for an incredibly supportive husband and friends. Our first IVF cycle (June 2010) was "sort-of" successful... I responded great (21 eggs, 21 mature, 21 fertilized, 2 transferred, but none to cryo) and we did get pregnant, but never saw a heartbeat and ended up miscarrying with a D&C at 9 weeks. That was definitely the most painful experience I've ever been through, but on the other hand, it definitely gave us renewed hope. For the first time, I actually knew that it is possible for us to get preggers. So, after a couple months off, we tried again. Like many of you, I also made some pretty drastic, but rewarding, career changes to put my health, our marriage and our quality of life first and resigned from my job as an engineer. October, IVF number 2... Again, I responded to the protocol like a champ (16 eggs retrieved, 10 fertilized, 2 really great quality ones transferred). We just got the devastating call yesterday that this cycle was BFN. The negative this time was almost as painful as the miscarriage a few months ago. I think knowing that I could actually get pregnant and then having even better quality embryos transferred this time, it was just felt a lot more real than a lot of our previous attempts. After a few really good cries, a good night's rest and a girls day today (including pedicures with a friend), I'm starting to feel a little happier and settled about this and regaining my perspective that this was just one cycle --- there are more tries and options ahead.

It's a tough road, and I truly hate that there are so many of us out there that are experiencing similar pain and disappointment, but I'm glad to be in this group of women. It's really comforting to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. The way I see it, God's just preparing us to be incredible mother's in His timing and we get the priviledge of going into motherhood already knowing that we have the strength, faith, and endurance to make it through just about anything.
__________________________
Me: 30 (PCOS)
DH: 31 (male factor)
TTC: 5 years
2006-2008: natural, tracking, clomid
2009: IUI #1 - BFN
6/10 IVF#1 - BFP, m/c at 9 weeks, moderate OHSS
11/10 IVF #2 - BHN
1/11 IVF #3

[annashope]

Keeponhoping

I am so sorry about your bfn. You have come to the right place and we understand. I too finally broke down and Dh and I did our first IVF this summer and it was a tough road. I didn't respond well to meds and we only got a few eggs but they were great. We transferred 2 perfect embies and ended up pregnant but like you we never got a heartbeat and miscarried by 7-8 weeks. I too was really devastated but hopeful that at least I knew I could get pregnant so we tried an FET in November with perfect blasts and I got a bfn. The bfn hit me really hard. All I kept thinking was what was so different this time. I guess we just have to dust ourselves off and try again. I have looked through the pregnant side and there are so many girls here who have had multiple losses ectopics and bfn's and then finally got their baby. I know it has taken some girls 6-7 IVF's. Keep up the PMA you will get pregnant and have a baby soon. The road is hard but worth it in the end.

[keeponhoping]

Thanks annashope.

I will definitely add you to my prayers and wish you the best of luck for your upcoming try! Hopefully you'll have a wonderful Christmas present this year!

[DJ-BJ]

hang in there keeponhoping...it will come..i know its hard, harder even on the next succeeding IVF's. just pray hard that HE will give it to us all....even with a positive and high HCG beta, i still am anxious and worried that like u guys i may never hear a heartbeat...this is even worse than waiting for the 2 weeks post transfer....i dont know its just scarier...i hope im not going to be disappointed...u/s yet is on dec 14...its a long wait and im getting anxious...i dont feel any symptoms of pregnancy...and i only had to bloodwork drawn....220 and 868.... what wee your betas? hhhaaaayyyzzz.....this anxiety never ends!!!

[keeponhoping]

DJ-BJ

Thanks for the encouragement. And congratulations to you!!! I definitely understand the anxiety and am sure I'll have to deal with it WHEN we get pregnant again, but my aunt gave me some of the best advice and I'm so glad I took it. She did get pregnant once, but miscarried and was never able to again so they adopted (keep in mind this is 35 years ago so there were very few options for helping women then). But she told me when we started down this road, that once you get pregnant, enjoy every second of it. Though she was never able to conceive again, she said she felt truly blessed to have been able to experience it for that short time. I took her advice, though it never made much sense to me, and now that I've been through a miscarriage, she was absolutely right. I am so glad that I have been able to be pregnant, and get to experience that hope and dream of that precious little one you're caring. Even if it was only for a few weeks, it was really amazing. So, to you I say, screw anxiety! Try to wake up each morning celebrating that you get to be pregnant today! (It also makes it easier to deal with the not-so-fun-side effects once they start!) And keep in mind, that going through all of this makes us over-analyze everything and sometimes worry too much, but every pregnant woman, regardless of how she got there, worries and holds her breath for the next appt so say everything is still great. But those really are great beta numbers and the jump from 220 to 868 is definitely good news!!! The numbers themselves aren't necessarily that important (as long as they are over the minimum - which they most definitely are). What the drs are really interested in, is how they are increasing. The beta should double roughly every three days (more if there are multiples although it's hard to tell in those first couple really early appts). So you're right on track!!! Now, come on baby(or babies)... GROW GROW GROW!!!
_______________________
Me: 30 (PCOS)
DH: 31 (slight male factor)
TTC: 5 years
2006-2009: natural, tracking, clomid
3/10 IUI #1 - BFN
6/10 IVF #1 w/ ICSI - BFP, m/c at 9 weeks, moderate OHSS
11/10 IVF #2 w/ ICSI - BFN
IVF #3 planned for January 2011

[keeponhoping]

So after 3 relatively upbeat days (after Tuesday's disappointing news), I'm having a rough evening. I guess I'm just not feeling too hot since AF came yesterday and holy crap, I had no idea how much worse it would be after an IVF cycle than normal. I just had to run up to the store for some christmas decorations and found myself walking through Target feeling suddenly very bitter. Seems like the store was FULL of people that were pregnant or were 18 years old with 6 kids running circles around them. I know it's completely irrational, but it just kinda caught me off guard. In this 5 years of trying, I think that's the first time I found myself feeling like I actually hated perfect strangers for really no reason. So I'm safely back home now where I plan to stay and find my positive, happy outlook again. I really do trust that God's really working on something special for each of us, but that doesn't take away all the hurt and disappointment somedays. Sorry to be a downer tonight... just needed to get it off my chest.

Annashope:I hope you're doing well! Seems like we're on a pretty similar path. Are you feeling ready to try again? We have our followup appt this week to figure out exactly when we'll start IVF #3. I also want to know if there's really anything different we can do this time. Since I've responded well to all the drugs both times and did get pregnant the first time, I'm kinda doubting there's anything on the front end they'll want (or need) to change. Do you know if there is anything on the post transfer side of things that can be altered? They've got me on tons of progesterone support during that phase (inserts and injections) but I don't know if that's all that can be done.

DJ-BJ:How are you doing? I hope you're hanging in there and enjoying your good news! Of course the above bitterness does NOT apply to anyone here! I'm thrilled for you!

Me: 30 (PCOS)
DH: 31 (slight male factor)
TTC: 5 years
2006-2009: natural, tracking, clomid
3/10 IUI #1 - BFN
6/10 IVF #1 w/ ICSI - BFP, m/c at 9 weeks, moderate OHSS
11/10 IVF #2 w/ ICSI - BFN
IVF #3 planned for January 2011?

[annashope]

Keeponhoping

I can relate to feeling pretty down today as I do too. My baby sister stopped by for minute and its so hard because I miss her so much and wish we could hang out more but as soon as she left my mood just plummeted. I am sure I mentioned that during my IVF this summer my 17 year old baby sister who is still in high school found out she was pregnant. As the story goes we were due 2 weeks apart and then I miscarried and she is now a glowing 7 months. I am happy for her but its just that every time I see her ( such a young kid who will not even finish high school before her baby is born) it makes me so sad because it just reminds me of where we could have been. I on the other hand was so ready for a baby. My sister and I are 11 years apart so I have all of my education (BA, MA you name it) plus I am happily married. I know everything happens for reason but it still makes me sad. 2 Years ago I had cervical cancer and even though I am in remission every six months I have to have a pap by an oncologist and then the 2ww to hear the results to know if I can continue trying and then at my last appt my antrial follie count was lower (only 6) so now I am worried that I am starting to run low on eggs and all a while our insurance pays nothing for infertility. We did an iui this month and probably will do them until summer which is the next time we can afford IVF. Ugh I am with you on seeing perfect strangers and wanting to just run away. This is so hard. Hang in there. As far as I know you did everything as far as the post IVF and in my understanding the early m/c is usually do to a chromosome issue in the embie.

You are welcome to pm me anytime