BFN Group

[keeponhoping]

Annashope
Okay, I'm embarrasingly new to this... I tried to send you a PM. Did it work?

[fitzjr11]

Holidays do stink! going to my ivf clinic wed night for a ladies night dinner/talks and support on surviving the holidays, we shall see.........

[summit]

fitzjr11 - I totally hear you! My husband and I put up our tree this weekend and I have to admit I got a little sad thinking that the holidays would be a lot more fun if we had a child of our own. Right now all I want to do is escape for the holidays on vacation, but I will be starting stims for my next cycle between Christmas and New Years so that means no fun get away

The past few days have been a little tough as I had to attend my best friend's baby shower yesterday. I am super excited for her b/c she and her husband are going to be awesome parents, but I was sad b/c she had stopped taking the pill when I started my 1st IVF cycle and she got pregnant and I did not. I guess I just think that if my first cycle would have worked we would be expecting at the same time. I guess God has another plan for my husband and I.

hope all of you are doing well,

[DJ-BJ]

keeponhoping--im doing ok, a bit scared today cause i had a little spotting. i called the nurse and she said its normal as long as there is not a lot of cramping.i dont even know what cramping is now that it is happening to me....i think im just worried. i feel my lower abdomen is heavy..i had spotting on my 14th day when i got my BFP news and then came back just today! i hope this is normal...i m worried i still have 9 days to go for u/s...the wait is driving me insane!!!!

[keeponhoping]

DJ-BJ - Your nurse is definitely telling you right. I know it sounds weird, but there are a lot of people that have spotting all the way through a pregnancy and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. And as far as her comment and your concern about it's okay as long as you're not having a lot of cramping... just rest assurred that if "cramping" starts, you'll know. It's kinda hard to describe, but it's different. I'm sure you're probably feeling a lot of little twinges, the heaviness and little cramps and such, that is perfectly normal (and good). That's just all the ligaments and tendons and muscles in and around your uterus reacting to the chemical/hormonal changes taking place that are starting to prepare to expand in a few months and absolutely nothing to worry about. A good friend of mine is 7 months preggers with their little IVF baby. She went through similar scares. She had spotting (at times rather heavy) until about her 5th or 6th month. The frustrating thing is that you (the patient) can't tell where the spotting is coming from so it's normal to assume the worst. Her drs told her that her spotting was actually coming from little tiny capillaries around the uterus that were "leaking" from the strain of everything growing and it had absolutely nothing to do with her baby and was no concern to her health. Definitely call your nurse if things worsen, but I would try to not worry too much yet. Keep praying and enjoying today for what it is. I know it's tough, but I'm here for you! Just hang in there until your U/S. I'm definitely praying for you and wishing you all the luck in the world!!!

Annashope Hey! I hope you're doing well. The last couple days have been MUCH better for me. I've got my followup appt with my dr this morning and we'll find out for sure when we start IVF#3. I'm excited about it. I hope you're last couple days have been a lot cheerier too!

Summit and Fitzjr11 - I completely understand what you're struggling with during the holidays. I got a little sad when I was decorating the tree and hanging the stockings. It's virtually impossible not to wish there could be 3 or 4 stockings hung instead of two or that there could be gifts wrapped under the tree for our children, not just our nieces and nephews. I don't really know how to make that sadness go away when it hits, other than to just try really hard to focus your attention on all the good things we do have - amazing husbands, incredible friends, supporting families - and celebrate that during this holiday season. We're hosting our annual Christmas party this weekend and I thought I might be taking on too much (we usually have about 60 people in our house so it's a LOT to prepare for with food and all) but it's actually been great. It's keeping me busy enough that I don't have time to stay sad too long and it's forcing me to think about what great friends we're surrounded with. Maybe something like that would help you too... whether it's throwing a party, or making some homemade treat for all your friends... something to make you think about the good in your life and keep you busy enough to not let the sadness bring you down. I hope it gets easier for you. And the good thing about the holidays??? They always FLY by so it'll be over before you know it.

Praying for you all!

_________________________________
Me: 30 (PCOS)
DH: 31 (slight male factor)
TTC: 5 years
IUI #1 - BFN
IVF #1 w/ ICSI - BFP, miscarriage with D&C at 9 weeks
IVF #2 w/ ICSI - BFN
IVF #3 w/ ICSI --- tentatively scheduled for Jan 2011

[summit]

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to let all of you know that I am thinking about you! I have started BCP and will be going for Lupron eval on December 26th.

Wishing you all well during this holiday season.

High hopes that 2011 will be the year for us

[Heidi67]

Merry Christmas Everyone,

My stockings too were lonely this year. Hopefully next Christmas we'll all have one more stocking under the tree.
Summit I hope this next cycle goes well for you, and that the shots don't cause to much bruising etc..

AFM the clinic called Thur to offer us a spot in the Feb/March cycle. I was torn, we've had a tough year and I think I need a little escapism so in the end we declined as we have flights booked for weekend vacation in Jan and spring break.

Have a wonderful time celebrating family and friendship over the next few weeks.
Heidi

[fitzjr11]

the support group thing went well, was nice to meet others in the same spot. I think i may go- my neighbor just had a miscarraged last week, from ivf- so we spending time together- her husband is verry happy she has someone to relate to
I def went over board in shopping for everyone this yr, retail therapy was good- skipped some christmas parties and debating on staying home for new yrs- who wants to see parents/kids celebrating the new yr together?

[Sunshine1576]

Fitzjr11,
Glad to hear the Support Group went well. My church offers a meeting once a month and my friend at work keeps reminding me that I should go. Uncertain how depressed I would feel though after hearing their stories, but I shouldn't shoot it down until I at least try it. We all need friends we can turn to and share these experiences with..All I know this group here has keep me from going over the edge.

Last night we had some neighbors over for dinner and we talk about having a New's Eve Party too but it would have to be adults only with all the drinking involved. lol The good thing would be everyone could walk themselves home, well maybe walk? All I know is... they wouldn't be driving!

[summit]

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to wish all of you a Happy New Year! My husband and I just returned from a much needed vacation over the holiday break. We are on day 5 of stimming and keeping our fingers crossed that this will be the one.

Fitzjr - I am glad to hear that the support group was such a positive experience for you. I think it is always helpful to connect with others who understand what you are going through.

Hope all is well with all of you... I think of all of you often,

[summit]

Well here I am again...

This was our last cycle covered by insurance, so my fertility treatments likely end here and my posts for the time being.

Wishing all of you the very best,

[to_have_fun08]

So sorry Summit. Sending lots and lots of cyber (((HUGS))). Its a shame that IVF doesn't work for everyone. I might be will you in a month or so. This DE cycle is our last step. I am so ready to move on.

Good luck to you in the future.

[margi26]

Oh Summit. I am so very sorry. There aren't the "right" things to say, other than we are all here for you. We understand. We feel it. I hate that you have to grieve yet again.

I don't want to offer any false hope---but have you talked with anyone at your insurance company this year? I was "maxed out" and then accidentally learned that as of 1/1/11 they lifted the cap. I pray that is the case with you, too.

[Sunshine1576]

Summit,
I feel your pain tonight, I know most of us on here are feeling the same way. With us, my insurance doesn't cover anything at all, so we have to save-up and be selective on the treatment plan, but I still feel there are new options out there! I will be praying that God lifts you up and as you move forward you will find contentment with brand new hope
You have so many of us thinking of you tonight and surrounding you with much love.
Sunshine1576

[summit]

Thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts. We are now looking into adoption... and planning a kick ass vacation!

Sunshine - Thanks for you optimism. I'm not really sure what other treatment options the doctor will suggest other than donor eggs, which is just not for us.

Margi- my insurance only covers 3 cycles per full-term pregnancy for the life of the policy, so unfortunately we are done for the time being. Good luck with your treatment in CA. I will drop in from time to time to see how you are doing.

to-have-fun - I am ready to move on as well. Wishing you well as you approach your DE cycle. I guess life is too short to let fertility treatment take it over.

Best wishes to all of you and thanks for all of the support you have given me!