Winter 2010-2011 Cycle Board

[katieb1231]

Chelle - My RE said 24 hours bedrest is good, 48 is better & 72 is best. He said he knows there is not much scientific evidence to support this but in his practice the women who were able to do that he thought had a higher outcome of positive results. I am banking on that I I stayed in bed for 72 hours which was torture then had moderate movement today - I am totally exhausted & it is only 6:30 so a little moving around exhausted me! But I think you should do what makes you comfortable so you can look back & say I am happy I did that. Plus take advantage of everyone taking care of you for a change!!!! Good luck & welcome to PUPO & the 2ww - I am 4dp5dt today and think I will POAS on Sunday or Monday if I can hold out!

[ChelleDe]

Katie !!

Thank you so much for the encouraging words and the welcome to PUPO!! This is my first time with all of this and I am so excited, but cautious.

I think I am definitely going to do 72 hours. I dont like asking people to get me stuff, but I will do anything for the little one !! Especially since it was a SET (Single Embryo Transfer).

So we are pretty close. Let me see if I have my time right.. If I did ER on the 12th then I am 5dpo5dt? is that right. They said I'm 5 days pregnant already. or is it tomorrow 1dp5dt ? I am confused

any suggestions? ER the 12th. ET the 17th.

Thanks gang !!!

[x0Heather0x]

Hi ladies! UGH!! Ive been in bed since we got home yesterday with the exception of bathroom breaks, showering. My last transfer was July 2009 and so I dont recall what I felt then but tonight Im feeling alot of pressure. I didnt ovulate so its not my ovaries. So is this normal? Is it just normal cramping? Thanks!

[BakersBaby]

Amanda - I feel your annoyance with not getting your calendar promptly. I had to wait until the day before I started my stims to get mine. I was like a little kid checking the mail daily with such anticipation. Hope you get it soon!

Heather - I am having similar pains and pressure. I just assume that mine is from my ovaries. Last night after the transfer the pressure and bloating was so bad that I had to take off my jammie pants.

Katie & Chelle - I have been worried about my level of activity too since our ET yesterday. I sat in the car yesterday while DH did some christmas shopping, we had lunch, and then I slept for the 2.5 hour car ride home. When we got home I went to the hospital to see my mom where I sat with my feet up. Today I held the couch down until about noon and then spent about 7 hours at the hospital. Again, just sitting with my feet up. I don't feel like it's too much....I hope not. Take it easy girls!

AFM - Nothing new here. I am thinking this 2ww is going to suck royally. Not working today the day drug on and was so long. Hope all the days of the 2ww aren't this bad!

[ChelleDe]

Heather - My RE told me today to expect some cramping and maybe a bit of spotting in the next few days. He said it was normal. If its too bad I would call your RE. Or if you're worried about it, call them. You dont need the stress !!

Kelly - Yeah its hard to decipher what is too much. I think 3 good days, and then resume basic activities. I was told I can walk the dog unless the dog pulls then have someone go with me and have them hold the leash. I'd rather take it easy for the 72 hours to stick.

Heather, Katie, Kelly - Glad to have a couple of 2ww buddies!

Hope everyone else is doing good! HUGS!

[krisnjer]

AF has finally arrived! Start BCPs on Sunday. Suppression check set for Jan 19th and possible ER set for first week of Feb! Glad to be starting this roller coaster again......

[margi26]

ChelleDe: Today, Saturday, you would be 1dp5dt or 6dpo. I sent you a PM. Do you know how to access them?

[ChelleDe]

Yup Margi,

I got it.


Dont worry, I wont post on this board or forum anymore. I am sorry if I have offended anyone. That has never been my intention at all. I am an extremely carrying woman.

I really thought this forum was about support of everyone. There's many many times when women go through hard things and e post to support them and in the same post hug someone else who has something exciting.

I wish everyone the best and I am so sad that many feel the way they do. Not my intention at all. Good luck on your journey !

[ChelleDe]

And for those of who, who like Margi said, has a problem with me doing PGD...

or furhter more donating the 2 girl embryos to science..

Please think of all the women who only implant 2 to 3 embryos and then have to decide what to do with the extra. Most just discard them because they , like me, dont feel comfortable having their genetics out in the world.

I thought I was doing a wonderful thing donating the girls to science to help other couples in the future with their future conceptions and perhaps these Drs can learn things that would make it easier for couples.

But there are hundreds of thousands of women around the world who discard embryos.

So I am very sorry if I have ever upset anyone.

or in her words "Be callous".

[klinger13]

And for those of who, who like Margi said, has a problem with me doing PGD...

or furhter more donating the 2 girl embryos to science..

Please think of all the women who only implant 2 to 3 embryos and then have to decide what to do with the extra. Most just discard them because they , like me, dont feel comfortable having their genetics out in the world.

I thought I was doing a wonderful thing donating the girls to science to help other couples in the future with their future conceptions and perhaps these Drs can learn things that would make it easier for couples.

But there are hundreds of thousands of women around the world who discard embryos.

So I am very sorry if I have ever upset anyone.

or in her words "Be callous".

Sorry to crash but I don't want Margi to be beat up for trying to be sensitive to others who are struggling...

Chelle - Actually most women, particularly those on these threads, consider ourselves lucky to get enough embies to transfer on a 3dt...we can't even imagine being able to make it to 5dt and if we did, we would freeze EVERYTHING we had left because there are a lot of us who just don't get a lot of eggs, we're self-pay, etc. It's just extrememly hard to comprehend taking 2 perfectly good blasts and just giving them to science because it's a different gender than we'd prefer. Most of us want "a" baby, any baby, and I'm sure to many (though I can only speak for myself) it's just difficult to think of not wanting an embie just because it's a girl. Many of us fall in love with our embies (all of them) from the minute we get that fert report call. We cheer them on and say extra prayers to try anything to keep them going strong. I know people routinely do PGD for gender, but as somone who has struggled with trying for "a" baby for awhile now (as so many of us have), it just makes me so sad to think that the girl embies could have gone to a couple - a couple who didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, a couple who just wanted a little one to love.

[ChelleDe]

Believe me, I do understand. I have never said I didn't understand.

There are so many view points on this, and I understand that. You look at people who can eat anything they want and stay small. Then those who eat a tiny bit and they gain a ton. Or people who can go out to dinner and have a drink and not become an alcoholic. … no one knows why some people have issues and some don't.

Same with infertility. Thousands of people can have a child naturally. and then there are thousands of people too who have troubles. People give kids away all the time. Thousands of kids in foster care. You can actually make the same comparison using that with how you feel about me doing PGD for gender selection… If you want a child, and "a little one to love" .. why not go and adopt a child that needs such a loving home and to give them an opportunity to have a happy, healthy, successful life instead of spending 10 of thousands to have your own child. You do it because you want your OWN child. Your genetics. and for the fact, you can do it. Technology has come a long way. You use technology to have a child and you disregard all those children in foster care. Not that they are not special and deserve the very best. Its sad that they themselves struggle.

My husband has 3 daughters, I have no child of my own. I have so much love inside of me I have always known I want to be a mom. My husband had a vasectomy so the only way for us to have a child was through IVF. Well a better chance than a reversal. Since deciding on doing IVF we were have the option to do PGD for a boy. That gives my husband and I a chance to experience something new for him of raising a boy. Just like a person would not love an adopted child less than a natural child.. but it is, and has been our choices to do IVF, everyones included, instead of adopting.

I myself, like others, are self pay as well. I have spent thousands of dollars doing this, and I don't really feel I have enough money to do it again. So I knew it was going to be risky.

But I didn't realize how people are un accepting to PGD. Perhaps that is the way it was when IVF first began. I am sure most people felt they should adopt a child who is need instead of spending thousands to have their own.

and as I said before, I will always feel I am making the right choice to to donate those embies to science. .. or not. I feel very special to those girl emboss. I thought about keeping them frozen and incase we chance our mind down the road. Who knows. But if I do donate them to science it is all to help people do IVF.

[leorira11]

Chelle - I don't want to continue the drama - but just so you know MOST of us would gladly take in foster/adoptive children. That road is MUCH harder than people think. When I'm told "why don't you just adopt?" I want to scream at people. It is INCREDIBLY difficult to adopt. The systems in place try everything to keep children within their birth family. Adoptions by 'stranger' families are rare - even if I would make a much better mom to those kids than their birth family. Margi herself works with abused and neglected children - and it kills her to have to keep them with their birth families while she had no children of her own....

We have been trying to adopt for several months now.... we haven't even gotten a chance to meet with a social worker yet. Also, the law here (in Israel) is that you can't adopt if you are under 25 years old, and if you are under 30, you need special supervision in your adoption. WTF?

as for the money issue - adoption costs at least as much (if not more) than IVF. International adoption (which is easier and faster for us), costs $40,000 (plus travel expenses and bribes) per child - a child that would be at least 2 years old. The international adoption process takes about 2 years. For a domestic adoption, the waiting list (which we haven't even been able to get on yet!) is about 6 years.... we've already been TTC for 3.

None of us have problems with people who use PGD because there is a genetic problem in the family they are trying to avoid (CF, Gauchers, Tay Sachs, etc). But to use it *just* to pick the gender of your child? To those of us who would do anything in the world to have a child, that just seems extreme.

Try looking at the forums on a website called "in-gender.com" The women there are all doing IVF so that they can PGD embryos and get the gender they want. (Most have had several children the 'old-fashioned' way but are turning to ART to pick specific genders, rather than 'risk' getting another child of the same gender by getting pregnant again).

[leorira11]

btw - having to do IVF because your husband had a vasectomy (by CHOICE!) is NOTHING like having to do IVF because your husband was born infertile. Perhaps he should have thought about things a bit more before having elective surgery that would drastically change his life.

[leorira11]

one last thought - I had to discard an embryo that was still growing, but not good enough to re-freeze during one of my FETs.... it KILLED me. Even though I knew it was an embryo that would never become a baby, I wanted that embryo to at least know that I loved it and it was like plunging a knife into my heart to sign the papers allowing it to be destroyed. To destroy perfectly healthy embryos?

I'm prochoice, and believe that you have the right to do anything you want with your embryos. But I would never be able to destroy mine.

Best of luck to you.

[ChelleDe]

Doing IVF is your choice instead of adopting. I am wrong to want to have a child with my husband and share that experience with him? I am wrong because I was fertile and my husband decided to have a vasectomy when we was with his first wife?

Is someone who got pregnant, gained weight, and is now trying to diet less than someone who has struggled to diet their whole life?

Is someone who has conceived children naturally but now that they are older want a child and having problems less than someone who has had infertility problems?

Are you less because you want your own child instead of adopting one who is need of a loving family?

Of course not ! Neither of us are. And none of the above are. We are all individuals on here going through struggles to have what we want in life.

And you keep saying destroying healthy embryos. What about the thousands of people who get pregnant doing IVF and have left over embryos? Do you think they decide to donate all to other couples or do they destroy them without even thinking about science or other couples. Have you not read several posts about this subject on this forum? Browse around, Google, read forums about women deciding what to do with the extra embryos that they have. You will be amazed.

Everyone on this board has made a CHOICE to use technology to have a child. When there are millions of children in this world who need homes. We make that choice to want to have our own child. Like I said, its not that we disregard those children who need homes, we choose to have our own child via technology.