Winter 2010-2011 Cycle Board

[annashope]

Katie you are absolutely right even the fainest line is a positive so congrats. My line at 10 dpo was pretty faint too so I think it is a great sign.

Margi I must admit I love your spirit So have you begun POAS??? I am crazy I start the very day of trigger...lol I guess I find seeing a BFP for the first few days helps my PMA...I know how crazy it sounds I can't wait to hear of your bfp and it will be this time

Mishelle I am so sorry for your loss. I love my MIL and I can't imagine what you are going through. So sorry

Lou It sounds like your surgery was very productive and I am sure now you will get your bfp with ease.

Kristnjer as other have said 3rd time will be the charm for you

Wow it seems I missed so much this morning and I will not rehash any of the drama. I just wanted to add a quick note because it is a very painful subject for me. when DH and I saw our 3rd RE and were once again told that we needed IVF we chose to do adoption. Not saying that we were giving up on having biological children but the "genetic" information mattered less to us than the journey of parenting a child together. Unfortunately here we are 1 1/2 year later and almost 30k spent on adoption and renovation of our house and home study and clearances only to be told that we can have a baby if and when a birthmother chooses us which could be ...well never. The pain of failing at adoption is so great for me I could not begin to explain it because I wanted to adopt a child so badly. I feel like we simply "lost" thousands of dollars. As per doing international adoption again we would love to but the waiting list is so terribly long and being 28 most countries require you to be older. I agree that there are so many children out there who are abused and abandoned and I would love to adopt all of them but I guess I wish people would understand just how difficult it is and how painful it is and how costly it is. Just what its like to have a home study case worker sit in your living room and tell you that "oh adoption will never fill your need to be a mom and how the child we adopt will always be lonely and feel like an outcast no matter what we do" I guess all I am saying is that it is a misconception that IVF is harder than adoption because for us here in Pennsylvania adoption is so hard its almost impossible. My desire to be a mom is so great I would gladly take any baby from anyone, anywhere but its almost impossible. Please know that at least for Dh and I IVF was not a "selfish" choice to have our "own" child instead of adopting a child in need...it was our only chance to have a child

[Karian]

Karian - Thank You!!!!!!!!! I actually POAS today & it was a BFP!!! 10dpo - Hope it keeps bringing me BFP!

That's AWESOME NEWS!!!!! HUGE CONGRATS!!!!! I'll pray for a great beta!

I had my second beta today and it is 725 I am 16dpo

[margi26]

Katie:

Congratulations!!! What wonderful news!! And so early!!!

--and thanks for feeding my addiction. LOL.

Anna:

Fabulous!!! I am so excited about your second beta. That must feel so good for you and DH. You so deserve this. It is so wonderful and exciting. Do you go back for a third beta next week? u/s in a couple weeks!!

And hmm...you really started to POAS right away? So I am being a slowpoke about it?!?!? I better get to peeing!

[katieb1231]

Thanks Margi - I wasn't going to do anything until Monday but Ryann said she started 9dpo which was yesterday for me and I just am really not feeling very pregnant so I thought what the heck! Now I am addicted! So get to POAS girl!!!!!

[NancyB]

And for those of who, who like Margi said, has a problem with me doing PGD...

or furhter more donating the 2 girl embryos to science..

Please think of all the women who only implant 2 to 3 embryos and then have to decide what to do with the extra. Most just discard them because they , like me, dont feel comfortable having their genetics out in the world.

I thought I was doing a wonderful thing donating the girls to science to help other couples in the future with their future conceptions and perhaps these Drs can learn things that would make it easier for couples.

But there are hundreds of thousands of women around the world who discard embryos.

So I am very sorry if I have ever upset anyone.

or in her words "Be callous".

Sorry to crash but I don't want Margi to be beat up for trying to be sensitive to others who are struggling...

Chelle - Actually most women, particularly those on these threads, consider ourselves lucky to get enough embies to transfer on a 3dt...we can't even imagine being able to make it to 5dt and if we did, we would freeze EVERYTHING we had left because there are a lot of us who just don't get a lot of eggs, we're self-pay, etc. It's just extrememly hard to comprehend taking 2 perfectly good blasts and just giving them to science because it's a different gender than we'd prefer. Most of us want "a" baby, any baby, and I'm sure to many (though I can only speak for myself) it's just difficult to think of not wanting an embie just because it's a girl. Many of us fall in love with our embies (all of them) from the minute we get that fert report call. We cheer them on and say extra prayers to try anything to keep them going strong. I know people routinely do PGD for gender, but as somone who has struggled with trying for "a" baby for awhile now (as so many of us have), it just makes me so sad to think that the girl embies could have gone to a couple - a couple who didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, a couple who just wanted a little one to love.

I echo Amanda (klinger) here and from what little I've talked to Margi, she's a gem too. I haven't been on the board a lot just because this time of year seems especially hard. I just cried when I read Chelle donated two girls to science. So so hard to read that. I know it's totally Chelle's choice. I totally get that. We all have free will and the right to choose. I also believe we are all held accountable for the choices we make but that's another whole topic by itself.

Like Amanda said, my dh I totally don't care if we have a boy or girl. We just want a baby -- just one baby.

Like others have said, adoption isn't an easy road. People say it's easy to adopt and can't understand choosing IVF. We've looked at adoption a lot. Our age difference alone is a huge deal to so many ppl. There are so many hoops to jump through for adoption. I have so many friends that adopted domestically only to have the child yanked away years later because the bio parents changed their minds. Talk about screwed up. BFN are hard. IVF not working is hard. Miscarriage is hard. But I can't even fathom caring for a loving a child for "x" amount of time to have him or her taken away because someone changed their mind.

International adoption is another ball of wax with lots of expense and more hoops to jump through.

This road is so hard. I wish none of us ever had to travel it.

[NancyB]

I did another post that disappeared. ??? Anyway...

Heather,

I'm watching your updates closely. We just have one frostie that we'll transfer sometime in Jan or Feb., I think. Gotta make sure we have the funds in order etc.... My dh also has to have shoulder surgery sometime the first of the year so trying to balance all of that.

Congrats! on being PUPO. I'm really pulling for you (and everyone else here too)

Baby dust to all.

[nwquiz]

just a quick update. had my sns today and they still could not find my left ovary. am scared now dont know what to do. my left ovary had 4 over 14mma nd 11 small behind she did not even measure. now i have to cont stimms and return on monday. has anyone ever had an overy disappear on them?

[margi26]

Nwquiz: Oh that sounds frustrating...during one of my sns she said my ovary was "hiding behind my uterus". It caused the follies to be kinda squished, but it was there and she could measure the follies. I never heard of them not being able to find an ovary. Did she suggest it was positional problem? I will still cross everything that you have good follie growth and a wonderful sns on Monday!!!

[longtimerivf]

rio... I'm so sorry for your loss... try to stay positive for your other little bean... cyber hugs going your way!!!

Cshell... so sorry for your MIL and your results... I can relate as I was not able to have kids so my grandma or my dad would meet them... I will be praying for you and your DH... cyber hugs to the both of you...

...


....


Congrats to Katie and anna for the BFP!!!

[BakersBaby]

Anna - Congrats on your Great Beta #!!!

Katie - Congrats on your POAS BFP! Yay!

[jkulab]

lou - glad you feel better from your surgery. i know how tough it can be. the last time i had the polypectomy, i had an asthma attack during the surgery. my oxygen saturation was only 80% where it should be at 95%-100% then they had to put a breathing tube down my throat to help me breath. the surgery was only suppose to be 2hr but it took 4 hrs. my bf was freaking out and wondering what was wrong and why it was taking so long. he's really upset (more than me) that i have to go thru this again and is worried if i'll have the same episode and if i'll make it thru this one. I wish you a speedy recovery and lots of rest!

[riogirl71]

Sorry I am not trying to add to the drama but I have to give my 2cents. I am in complete agreement with Amanda, Nancy, Leora and Margi on this. I think Margi sent a very polite PM, and I also think she was trying to be helpful. Margi has been my rock through a lot of scare and heartache. She had the guts to say something a lot of us thought but did not say. I was the one that first asked why PGD for a boy. I and the rest of the girls do accept PGD, weunderstand wanting to do PGD for genetic defects or selecting gender if the gender could be a carrier of a health compromising gene. I could also have understood this better if Chelle was doing PGD for a boy, freezing the girls with the intent of doing a FET later. But as a woman who has been all out of pocket on IVF because my husband had CANCER and his motility was killed by chemo, certainly not by choice, I cannot understand donating perfectly healthy girls to science because they are girls. I never had frosties and would have loved to have even one. When I almost had the chance to have a frostie, he/she didn't make it and I cried for my embryo that didn't survive, women cry for their embryos that don't make the thaw and you are dicarding them because they are girls, healthy girls, it did break my heart. I have been on this board and have seen so much heartache and struggles. Yes, people do have embryos that they end up not using but no one goes in thinking they will discard them if they are a certain gender. A lot of girls here tried adopting and believe it or not adoption is much more expensive than IVF and a much longer process. If I had the choice and had frosties I would love nothing else than to have any girl here struggling to have a baby to have our baby. I know they would be loving mothers, no one goes through this if they are not 100% sure they want a baby. I think a lot of girls here were saddened by the idea of the girls being donated to science but decided not to say something, I was one of those and kept supporting you. I really don't see the correlation between weight gain and drinking to all of this. No one is blaming anyone for doing IVF or PGD or not wanting to adopt, the issue is only one, discarding healthy girls who others here would love to have the choice to have healthy girls to transfer. This is a place of support but also a place of honest women who care. I think Margi's point was understood by all of us except for Chelle herself.

nwquiz - they can try and go through your belly to get those follies, did they push a bunch? I had that too but they were able to get to it, don't worry!

Annas - awesome beta!

Lou - Congrats on your FSH decrease! No BCP on this cycle right? Glad to hear you are doing well even with your scare! We would all be rich if we charged admissions to our girly parts!!!!!!!!!!!!

AFM - I am mouring the loss of our twin and thank you for the support of all you wonderful girls. It is hard to explain how much you already love someone so tiny that you only knew existed for one week and now I will never meet him/her or hold him/her we saw the heartbeat and it was immediate love. My heart hurts but I am now trying to concentrate on the blessing we still have inside. I haven't had the heart to change my ticker yet.

[ChelleDe]

This is my last post, and dont worry. I am not trying to cause any drama.

I just wanted to let you all know I have received over 25 PMs from people who are in my support and understanding but are in fear of saying anything because they dont want to feel ostracized. Several from this thread. And few who have donated their embryos, but hide in fear too.

I find it sad that there is a support forum where people hide in fear of expressing what they are going through and what they are experiencing. Or even their opinions because they fear they wont get any support.

I wish everyone a BFP and sending great baby dust to everyone, and a big support to everyone who has struggling. That is what I have done from the beginning and not have been judgmental.

Good luck everyone ! and those who have been in support, I can always be reached at stripedkiwi@gmail.com

[katieb1231]

Rio - I am so sorry for your loss - this is the hardest thing about this process but we are all here for you and sending out PMA your way. And thank you for your concise & well said post on this tough topic -

AFM - This has brought up an important issue for us - we had two transferred and praying with every fiber of our being that they both make it and become healthy little stars in our lives - but we were lucky enough to have 6 frozen that are all of high quality - can I donate them to someone I know or someone of my choosing? The clinic allows you to donate back to them but the thing I don't like about that is they re-sell in a sense them to potential couples and if I am going to do that then I want to donate them to a couple who truly needs them of my choice that have already spent ALOT of money on this stuff and don't need to get hit with more - it would be a gift - can I do that? Anyone have any info on it or how I would go about it or even if it is ethical or whatever is all this IVF mumbo jumbo that we can't make heads or tails out of??? I have never written so many checks for so much money not knowing exactly what I was paying for!

Still freaking out on my BFP and scared to death to test tom so I think I will hold out until Monday if I can! Good luck to all you wonderful ladies in all steps of this process. Remember that you are all strong and confident women who made a conscious choice to travel this path no matter what adversity we get along the way. Much Sticky Baby Dust this super cold evening - almost 1 degree! YAY!

[Cshell717]

Thank you all for your kind words of support. It really means so much to me... I never imagined how great it is to have such great support from people online. Even though we have never met I feel close to all of you. Thank you!

Rio- I am so very sorry for the loss of one of your twins. Hugs to u!!

I will go for bt on Monday but will try to see if I can talk to RE about IUI. I only have one tube that is open but has som scarring around it. Another round of IVF will completely depleat all of our savings and max out our credit cards so I would like to consider other options such as IUI first. Besides, my insurance covers it but not ivf.

Sorry for not doing personals.. Things are just crazy with the loss of my mil and with this happening just before the holidays.I hope u are all having a nice weekend. Thank u all again!