FEB / MARCH 2011 Cycle Buddies!! can't wait!

[blairwh58]

Hey guys. Just wanted to check in and let everyone know how things went today. I would have considered asking for testing on the stuff they collected today, but since there was never "embryonic development" it may have been a lost cause and wasted money. Since it was just the placenta that kept developing and no yolk sac or embryo...we just did the D&C without collection for testing. Since I had already been bleeding for awhile and passed a pretty large clot I don't think they had much to test anyway. I went in @ 6am and was on my way home by 9am. I woke up with a headache so I was glad they gave me something for that. I also had a bad IV experience- nurse hit the vein in my hand on the first try but didn't get the line put in fast enough so I had blood all over the bed, floor, and both my hands. Needless to say the entire left side of my hand is blue now. On the plus side...I am really hoping this D&C cleared everything out and is setting me up for a BFP (that ends with a baby next fall) with our fresh cycle in early 2011.

I will try to keep checking in the week but things are hectic with my classes, husband on night shift, and of course all the holiday activities. Hope you all have a great holiday- no matter what you celebrate.

[riogirl71]

Blair - I am sorry about how the IV went, how terrifying. I hope this D&C got you nice and ready for your 2011 BFP that's coming. I hope that you staying so busy can help you heal. I am sending you big hugs and I hope you have good holidays!

[blairwh58]

Thanks for all the support with the recent D & C. My hand is recovering but will probably be half blue/green/brown for the next few days. DHs stepsister decided to announce her unexpected pregnancy a few days before our D & C. Since she doesnt know we have been going through any of this obviously she has no idea why we havent said much about her pregnancy. I was actually further along than she was when she announced to us. She posted on Facebook today that she was expecting and is 7wks3days. I would have been 9wks3days on saturday. I had come to terms with it after crying and throwing a pity party for myself the first few hours after I found out. Not that I wasnt happy for them...but they werent even trying, and we just paid thousands, and we are losing ours after all that. I thought I was ok and had moved on but saw she posted her Ultrasound pic...which looked a lot like mine and of course made me burst out in tears. I guess it takes time to get over the loss of a baby - even if it was only a few weeks of attachment. I keep telling myself that by this time next year we will most definitely have a baby no matter what. Heres to hoping for a successful attempt with the new MD in 2011. Thanks for letting me vent about all that.

[annashope]

Blair I am so sorry. You are absolutely right it does take time. When I was pregnant this summer I was 2 weeks apart from my pregnant sister and then I miscarried and after that every time I saw her it reminded me of how far along I was supposed to have been. It took a while and it is terrible and you have every right to throw pity parties and pamper yourself. It does get better and you will have a baby you are absolutely right.

Big hugs

[BlissfulCS]

Welcome wannabeamum and kyleen!

Wannabeamum- we don't mind newbies here at all. The more the merrier. Please let us know if you have any questions, and we are here if you need us. Congrats on beginning your first cycle!!! It is exciting and I'm glad you are joining. Mandarinorange is also a first timer I believe. We have a whole range of experience here.

Blair- I am so very sorry that you continue to go through so much physical and emotional pain. It is so tough I know and I can't even imagine what it must feel like to experience what is going on with your stepsister-in-law at the same time.

Rio- hope all is going well with you. Thanks to you I am taking DHEA with the support of my RE. Thanks for that!

SDtrying- My husband and I both lived in San Diego in 1997 but didn't know each other then. He worked at the DA's office and I was a waitress at the Chameloen Cafe on Coronado Island. I was taking time off from college while deciding what my major should be and thought Cali was as good a place as any to "find myself". DH and I met years later in Michigan. I love it here, but miss SD!

Sunshine- good luck with the tough choices you have to make.

[BlissfulCS]

Oh- and SD... LOVE the new pic. I still haven't figured out how to contact the board administrator so I can add an avatar. I thought I had, but apparently not. So I will just attach it for now until I have time to do it the right way.

[Sunshine1576]

Blair,
I was two weeks apart from my sister-in-law and when she posted pix on facebook too, I cried so hard that I nearly hyperventilated, and my abdomen was worked up from crying so hard that I made myself sick the next day. I couldn't even hold down gator-aid and the worst part was I was traveling to another branch 3 hours away from my bank and several times I found myself in the bathroom with my head in the toilet. I might as well been drinking, because at least it would knocked me out for a while away. I know drinking isn't the answer, but sometimes you want to run away from reality. I beat myself for being jealous now, because she did go through an IVF and after trying one myself I understand now what she went through. This Christmas they weren't able to make it home since their newborn is only 3 weeks old and he hasn't had all the shots yet. I know this sounds terrible but in a way we were relieved that they didn't make it home this Christmas. It's all bittersweet, but we cannot keep reflecting on the past. We have to move forward and know this time next year our precious gift will be wrapped with so much love.

[to_have_fun08]

I wish life could be fair. I did not handle it well when my BIL's GF ended up pregnant last year right when I was getting a BFN. The whole time she was pregnant all I could think about, It should be me. I have spent so much time TTC and they hadn't even been together for more then 6 months. Then I have to hear all the crap from MIL because this is her first grandbaby. I feel bad for being so hateful but I just can't stop myself. I guess I am better now that the baby is here but it still hurts. I am trying to get over it because I don't want to have any il effects towards the baby because it isn't the baby's fault. Life just sucks sometimes. Oh and what pissed me off more was that BIL GF is now getting WIC and who knows what other government assistance to help pay for the baby. It doesn't matter that she lives with BIL and he just bought a $175,000 house and lives comfortably. But no I don't get any assistance and have to pay $30,000 just to have a child. I could go on and on, just makes me mad.
Ok enough of my rant, I am trying to muster up some PMA for this next cycle. I got my meds in yesterday and have to get all my STD testing done today. A couple more things will be checked off the list of things to do.

Merry Christmas to all and CHEERS to a wonderful 2011.

[cwehrs]

I can totally relate with the jealousy and frustration. My DH and I had tried for several years to get pregnant when we were first married (our 20th anniversary is in July- yes we got married young). At the time we couldn't afford IVF, so we just went on with our lives and decided to let it go for the moment. Then last year my husband got a job that has great insurance and covers IVF. So here we are, trying again. Meanwhile, my older brother married a woman 12 years younger than him (I love her to death). Now she's pregnant. When my brother called to tell us the sex he said "you guys better get moving so our babies can grow up together"! WTF!!!!! Like the reason I don't have a baby yet is because we aren't trying hard enough!!! On top of that, I'm a pediatric nurse in a hospital that has a high population of low income families, and does liver/kidney/small bowel transplants. It's amazing how some of these families practically abandon their children in the hospital and rarely come to visit. I'm just so tired playing "mom" to other people's children- I want one of my own, darn it!!!!

Blair- I'm so sorry to hear about all the horrible things you continue to deal with. Take really good care of yourself. You deserve it!

Blissful- I've started taking DHEA also. After the dismal response on my last cycle I figure it can't hurt! At least I feel like I'm trying to do something to help my chances. I'm definitely going to get my TSH checked before my next IVF cycle also, just to make sure my levels aren't all out of whack again.

[charlie78]

Hi Ladies

Please may I join you? We are due to have our FET W/C 21st February. We have a DD from a successful IVF in 2008 (4th time lucky!), now looking to give her a little brother or sister. We have 4 frozen embryos and really hoping that 1 of them will complete our family! Looking forward to getting to know you all xx
Charlie x

[charlie78]

wow just noticed I joined the forum 4 years ago to the day!

[riogirl71]

Blair - oh to add insult to injury, I am soooo sorry that on top of this you have to deal with such emotional news. To try and be happy for them while you are grieving is really tough. Huge big hugs and I hope that you get your BFP soon so that you can join them in posting pics of your US.

SD - I can't wait to see pics of your babies on the other side!

BlissfulCS - could you guys be any more adorable? What a lovely picture! Yeah I am a big DHEA pusher

[BlissfulCS]

Merry Christmas AFM!

[BlissfulCS]

cwehrs- we are both going to have LOTS of perfect eggs! Thanks to DHEA and an a ton of prayers.

SDtrying- hope is high that we will be sharing those pics over the holidays next year.

tohave fun- good for you building up the PMA!!! Let yourself get excited about receiving the meds and officially getting going on your cycle. I know it is tough to keep hoping, but I have a great feeling about this one for you.

Welcome and happy anniversary Charlie78!

AFM- well we all survived Christmas and the emotion that comes along with it! Congrats!!!

This year I had my two sisters, their two daughters ( one is 2 years and the other is 7 weeks), a bro-in-law, my brother, my Mom, my sister-in-law, her new flame, and my inlaws. We hosted the busy three day event (the last guest just left). It was great to see everyone, but I was very emotional being around the babies and thinking that if my first IVF cycle had worked I would have a 5 week old to add to the fun. Plus the stress and my hormones didn't help. I hid and cried three times but never got caught (except by DH who was awesome)! But it was still an amazing time with my fam and overall it was very happy and enjoyable. Hope you all had a wonderful time as well, especially those who are struggling with a recent loss or BFN. May 2011 be your year!

[blairwh58]

Yeaa to all of us for surviving Christmas. Mine was a lot rougher this year given the circumstances. I had the D & C Tuesday which I thought meant that I would be done with the miscarriage- but boy was I wrong. I didnt stop bleeding until Sunday which just added insult to injury. Bleeding is bad enough but having to wear a pad (which I never do) makes it even worse- made me feel like I had a diaper on all week. TMI I know but have to vent somewhere. Anyway, I managed to get all the tears out before we went to DH family. Had a few breakdowns but think I am past all that now. Luckily his sister managed to avoid talking about her new pregnancy almost the whole time we were there. DH wanted to tell so she wouldnt say much, but Im glad we still havent told them about all our struggles and the situation this time. Just glad to have survived the holidays. Now counting down the days until my appt with the new RE. I do have a post-op appt with the old RE on Jan 4, which I guess is when I will ask for a copy of all my medical records (hope they arent offended but 3 failed IVFs is enough for me to move on).

Anyway- Hope everyone else is doing well. Our time is coming and we will all be able to celebrate the holidays with a little one next year!!!! Will start doing more personals soon.