I'm new to this site. I just received the negative news yesterday about our 1st IVF attempt. We don't see our doctor for 2 weeks, and in the meantime, I don't know what to do with myself.
Any advice???
Advice for 1st IVF Failure
-
loddiedoddie
- Newbie
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 9:43 pm
Advice for 1st IVF Failure
TTC 18 mths; 4 IUI - failed; 1st IVF May 2004 - Negative;Deciding on 2nd attempt.
Hi there
Welcome to the site. I am really sorry you got a negative result. It is so hard to accept as we pin everything on it working the first time and when it doesn't it feel like a kick in the guts.
Sometimes it's good to look at the first go as a practice run. The doctors will now know how your body responds to the drugs and can monitor you more closely next time. I am presuming you will have a next time. When I had my first treatment I got OHSS big time and was in hospital for 2 weeks like a balloon and so the next time my doctor reduced my dosage and I had scans constantly. I have had 3 tmt's now and no bad OHSS just a bit and although I did get PG the 3rd time I gave birth to my daughter earlier this year at 24 weeks and she didn't survive. I am now preparing for my 4th tmt and will not give up.
Right now you are feeling at a loss with yourself and don't know what to do with yourself, that is a very natural thing to be feeling as you have spent the last month or so in limbo and expectation. Have your follow up with your doctor and ask him/her if there is anything that could be done differently. Ask loads of questions too.
You have joined this website which is the first step in the right direction. We are all a bit mad, well some of us are and have highs and lows but we help each other through all situations. If there are any specific questions you need to ask us just fire away someone wii more than likely have an answer.
For the next two weeks before your follow up just spend some quality time with your DH and pamper yourself, book a short break away go shopping and buy something lavish or induge in wine and choccies.
Hope it all works out for you, keep in touch.
Love Dagny xkx
Welcome to the site. I am really sorry you got a negative result. It is so hard to accept as we pin everything on it working the first time and when it doesn't it feel like a kick in the guts.
Sometimes it's good to look at the first go as a practice run. The doctors will now know how your body responds to the drugs and can monitor you more closely next time. I am presuming you will have a next time. When I had my first treatment I got OHSS big time and was in hospital for 2 weeks like a balloon and so the next time my doctor reduced my dosage and I had scans constantly. I have had 3 tmt's now and no bad OHSS just a bit and although I did get PG the 3rd time I gave birth to my daughter earlier this year at 24 weeks and she didn't survive. I am now preparing for my 4th tmt and will not give up.
Right now you are feeling at a loss with yourself and don't know what to do with yourself, that is a very natural thing to be feeling as you have spent the last month or so in limbo and expectation. Have your follow up with your doctor and ask him/her if there is anything that could be done differently. Ask loads of questions too.
You have joined this website which is the first step in the right direction. We are all a bit mad, well some of us are and have highs and lows but we help each other through all situations. If there are any specific questions you need to ask us just fire away someone wii more than likely have an answer.
For the next two weeks before your follow up just spend some quality time with your DH and pamper yourself, book a short break away go shopping and buy something lavish or induge in wine and choccies.
Hope it all works out for you, keep in touch.
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Hello
Dagny is absolutely right. The first go is often a practice run for you, your body and the doctors. After my first attempt failed, I was so depressed I couldn't see much point in going on. But my desire for a baby pulled me through and five months later I conceived my daughter.
Does your clinic have anyone else you could talk to in the meantime, just on the phone, or a counsellor? Take heart, if you can bear to do it again, the more goes you have the better your chances.
Good luck
Fiona
Dagny is absolutely right. The first go is often a practice run for you, your body and the doctors. After my first attempt failed, I was so depressed I couldn't see much point in going on. But my desire for a baby pulled me through and five months later I conceived my daughter.
Does your clinic have anyone else you could talk to in the meantime, just on the phone, or a counsellor? Take heart, if you can bear to do it again, the more goes you have the better your chances.
Good luck
Fiona
Hi there,
I'm sorry your first attempt has not worked...It is a case, however, of try, try again. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but things will get better. I was always told that on average, it takes at least 3 goes...and as they say, that which doesn't break us, makes us stronger.
Take time out now to get yourself back together and spend some quality time with your partner. It's very soon to make a decision, but as Fiona says, desire will take over and that gives you the strength to go forward. I know it did for me.
All the best for whatever you decide.
Zoe x
I'm sorry your first attempt has not worked...It is a case, however, of try, try again. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but things will get better. I was always told that on average, it takes at least 3 goes...and as they say, that which doesn't break us, makes us stronger.
Take time out now to get yourself back together and spend some quality time with your partner. It's very soon to make a decision, but as Fiona says, desire will take over and that gives you the strength to go forward. I know it did for me.
All the best for whatever you decide.
Zoe x
-
loddiedoddie
- Newbie
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 9:43 pm
Thank You
I appreciate the advice from all of you. It is incredible how strong one can actually be when faced with such a difficult and confusing struggle. But you are right, the desire to have a baby is what gives you the strength to move forward. I can remember sitting in my car after our injection training and saying: "Oh no, I can't do this." And now here we are with a first try completed and we did it.
I am glad to hear others say it is trial and error and I am comfortable with my RE so I will take all of your advice and think positively about what will come in the future. In fact, I treated myself to a pedicure this morning which was wonderful.
Thanks again so much for the support.
I am glad to hear others say it is trial and error and I am comfortable with my RE so I will take all of your advice and think positively about what will come in the future. In fact, I treated myself to a pedicure this morning which was wonderful.
Thanks again so much for the support.
TTC 18 mths; 4 IUI - failed; 1st IVF May 2004 - Negative;Deciding on 2nd attempt.
Hi there Loddiedoddie.
That's the spirit girl keep up the positive thoughts and you will be fine. it is amazing that the desire for a baby carries you through such a physical and emotional journey. I for one would do ANYTHING for the chance to be a Mummy and giving up is not an option. Glad you had an enjoyable pedicure.
Good luck for whatever your future holds.
Love Dagny xkx
That's the spirit girl keep up the positive thoughts and you will be fine. it is amazing that the desire for a baby carries you through such a physical and emotional journey. I for one would do ANYTHING for the chance to be a Mummy and giving up is not an option. Glad you had an enjoyable pedicure.
Good luck for whatever your future holds.
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Loddiedoddie
I am sorry to hear you news but welcome to the site , you realise we are all nutters on here especially Dagny and Tracey Sharp and of course Nikola!! we will get you through almost everything if we can .
Rules after a negative
1. Drink your favourite alcoholic drink LOTS
2. Eat lots of Chocolate and cakes chrisps and biscuits
3. give your credit card a good bashing
4. Have quality time with DH
5. Plan your next go
Trace x
I am sorry to hear you news but welcome to the site , you realise we are all nutters on here especially Dagny and Tracey Sharp and of course Nikola!! we will get you through almost everything if we can .
Rules after a negative
1. Drink your favourite alcoholic drink LOTS
2. Eat lots of Chocolate and cakes chrisps and biscuits
3. give your credit card a good bashing
4. Have quality time with DH
5. Plan your next go
Trace x