Winter 2010-2011 Cycle Board

[lou71]

Amanda --- I'm so sorry for your BFN result. I know how bad that call hurts. We were cash pay for our IVF's as well so I also know the bite it takes on you financially. Please give yourself some time to grieve. Will you have a consult with your RE? Maybe he has some ideas to offer. Again, I'm so sorry.

[amanda1979]

Amanda --- I'm so sorry for your BFN result. I know how bad that call hurts. We were cash pay for our IVF's as well so I also know the bite it takes on you financially. Please give yourself some time to grieve. Will you have a consult with your RE? Maybe he has some ideas to offer. Again, I'm so sorry.

Lou- I don't know what else the RE can say. My DH deserves someone who can give him a baby not someone who is broken. I cried so much I made him cry. This cycle was the hardest let down yet. DH mention donor eggs,but I am not sure if I am ready to go down that road and if we do how in the hell would we pay for it. I usually just jump right back on the IVF horse, but right now I just want to say the hell with it all.

[CJinNC]

Amanda I am so sorry. I can only imagine your disappointment after investing as much as you have emotionally and financially. Do you have an issue with your eggs that DH mentioned donor eggs? I didn't know if you had a specific problem or not. I wish there was something I could do. Feel free to be angry and sad and vent.

[riogirl71]

Amanda - I am truly sorry. This IVF is so expensive it is cruel. Don't ever think DH deserves someone else. You guys are a couple and it is a "WE" issue not and "you" issue. My Dh has MFI and I never took it as he can't give me kids, it was something WE both had to go through together. I know your DH loves you very much and I am sorry you are going through so much pain, but please don't feel like you are broken or that DH should be with someone else. He wants to be with you. Have you considered embryo donation? It is cheaper than DE. I don't know if you can take DHEA with your current medication. You do have age on your side and maybe you can try and save up again? Again, I am so sorry but please don't be hard on yourself right now! Huge hugs, you are a beautiful and loving woman and I pray you get your baby!

[amanda1979]

Amanda I am so sorry. I can only imagine your disappointment after investing as much as you have emotionally and financially. Do you have an issue with your eggs that DH mentioned donor eggs? I didn't know if you had a specific problem or not. I wish there was something I could do. Feel free to be angry and sad and vent.

I have low ovarian reserve and 3/4 of my right ovary was removed. I have the left one which works great and sometimes they get 1 or 2 from the right. My issues seems to be our only problems. I am in WTF to do mood. I work at a hospital & see crack addicts that come in pregnant & they don't care. It just pisses me off to no end. Thank all you ladies for your support. It does help knowing I have cyber friends who can relate.

[jkulab]

Amanda - sorry to hear about your BFN. I too have exhausted everything in my accounts. Can your tax return help? My heart goes out to you and your DH. Take some time to vent and get all the hurt out of your system. when you're body, mind, and soul is ready to go again, that will be your time for a miracle. my thoughts and prayers are with you!

[amanda1979]

Amanda - I am truly sorry. This IVF is so expensive it is cruel. Don't ever think DH deserves someone else. You guys are a couple and it is a "WE" issue not and "you" issue. My Dh has MFI and I never took it as he can't give me kids, it was something WE both had to go through together. I know your DH loves you very much and I am sorry you are going through so much pain, but please don't feel like you are broken or that DH should be with someone else. He wants to be with you. Have you considered embryo donation? It is cheaper than DE. I don't know if you can take DHEA with your current medication. You do have age on your side and maybe you can try and save up again? Again, I am so sorry but please don't be hard on yourself right now! Huge hugs, you are a beautiful and loving woman and I pray you get your baby!

Thank you so much for kind words. Have not thought about embryo donation, but with DE then atleast DH would be a part of the embryo. My idea would be to have a DE & me go through at the same time. Take the best from my batch & the best of hers and just throw them in there and see what happens. We wouldn't know which one took, but it wouldn't matter. That idea is what would want if we did DE and my RE said we could do that, but it would cost alot. You're right my DH loves me very much he is a great loving man. I just want to go outside & scream at the world. Right now I do feel broken and lost. I know it will get better. Thank you again for your supportive & caring words.

[nat&alex]

leorira11 - hi there!! thank you every one for your answers.. i am trying to hold of on the sticks i do understand that beta will be most accurate but it's killing me not knowing. well little bit about me... 1st IVF failed 11/10, i am 31, husband 28, w.icsi. my tubes were removed in 2008. we do have 2 more frozen... my FET was on 2/9 and 1st beta will be on 2/17 and 2nd on 2/19 but my clinic they don't run the test on the first day they just drown blood and wait for the beta 2 so i will find out on the 2/19. thank you all for your support!!!! i am very emotional today i just cried for no reason watching "sex in the city" ))

[to_have_fun08]

Amanda - Sorry for your negative results. I just wanted to say, you are not alone with your feelings. There has been so many times I just wanted to run outside and scream. Its unfair and there is no rhyme or reason why it works for some and doesn't work for others. Take some time for yourself. Sure you have heard that before but time does help. plus being off all the drugs helps also. It usually takes me about 2 months till I fully feel like myself again after a BFN. In time you will figure the best thing for you and your husband.

[nwquiz]

okayi lost mypost again.
Amanda am so sorry for the negative beta. wish we all had better words to say. but remember ivf is a tough road with many bumps in to. but at the end we all hope to win. please dont blame yourself of dh. many times dissapointments may make us all say things we really dont mean but please take heart. be open to suggestions on the table and if possible jump back on the wagon. I know its rough emotionally and financially. I know from experience coz i have been all oop for 3ivf and now going to my 4th iui and last.
Leoriria- Yah am glad AF came and sns went well. just got more suprises and badnews at the same time.
CJ in NC- we were just talking to the amouth the doc charge. loo and this morning they slap me with a higher bill than i expected. so now sns has gone up to 250$ WTF. I asked the lady why its more expensive and poor thing she dont know what to say. Oh on top of that the stupid nurse says to me, your doc want to increase your dose from 150 to 225 this cycle. I immediately asked for sample meds. and she says no i dont have anything. Out of the blues DH says lier you dint even check. So she says let me ask doc if he has his own stach . then she returns and says no he does not have any meds to give. WTF she did not even ask him coz he was right outside out door and we could hear the conversation. So now guess what on top of having to buy more meds, i have to budget for more on the sns and then i wonder what they bill for the iui will be. F**k i hate this sh*t. am so mad
I could not concentrate at work and took the day off. so now hope this evening yoga will help me relax some.
Lou am sorry about your fil. keep him in prayer.
those stimming may your follies grow.
thosein 2ww all the best. bring on bfp.

[deftonesmo]

Amanda . . . so sorry =( been there and it's devastating . . . please don't feel like you are broken . . . you just have to take a different path to making your family . . . food for thought: you and your dh were chosen for this journey because your bond and relationship are so strong whereas other couples may have cracked under all the pressure . . . and all the women you see getting pregnant probably don;t have such a great DH like yours . . . take some time to grieve and heal and then re-group with your RE . . . donor eggs, embryo adoption, assisted hatching are all options . . . some women pool their money together and share one donor's eggs . . . I also like to think that if this had happened 30 years ago, your only option would be adoption. . . at least now we do have a few more options to make our family . . . and adoption is a wonderful thing in itself . . . so sorry again =(

[Kimber Baby]

Man, you ladies write too fast...it takes me so long to catch up.

Kat - I am SO sorry about your doggie. I am at work and read your post and am tearing up at my desk. I have a dalmatian and he's my absolute best friend (and child). I know the feeling. I lost another dal suddenly 6 yrs ago and it was heartbreaking. I had to take off a few days from work b/c I couldn't function without crying. Do you know what happened?

Leora - so glad to hear your great report!

Amanda - so sorry on your negative results.

Hope - anxiously awaiting to hear how your results turned out. I want to see that movie too...it looks so cute.

AFM: My beta is Monday so I'll have a looong weekend of waiting. I hope it's good news. I haven't experienced any symptoms except being exhausted and some minor cramps. The last few days I've been crampy so we'll see. Fingers & toes crossed for a BFP.

[HopeIsAllIHave]

Amanda - I am so so so so terribly sorry for your BFN. My heart breaks for you and really wish there was some way I could help. I know the IVF journey is difficult, both emotionally and financially, and after going through multiples cycles, I can imagine you may have exhausted all your savings. So sorry that it all boils down to this - money! It's just so unfair sometimes. Is there a way for you to save up for another cycle in the future? You and DH are still young. I wish you guys all the best. *HUGS*

I would hate to be insensitive to announce my news during this terrible time (and I hope nobody takes this the wrong way, esp. Amanda), but it was a BFP for us!!!!!! Beta 133. Going back in on Sunday for our second beta. We're over the moon ecstatic!

[lou71]

Yay Ashley-- That's awesome news! Congrats. Sending you doubling vibes for Sunday. Can't wait for you to join our pregnancy thread!

[lou71]

Amanda --- I'm so sorry for your BFN result. I know how bad that call hurts. We were cash pay for our IVF's as well so I also know the bite it takes on you financially. Please give yourself some time to grieve. Will you have a consult with your RE? Maybe he has some ideas to offer. Again, I'm so sorry.

Lou- I don't know what else the RE can say. My DH deserves someone who can give him a baby not someone who is broken. I cried so much I made him cry. This cycle was the hardest let down yet. DH mention donor eggs,but I am not sure if I am ready to go down that road and if we do how in the hell would we pay for it. I usually just jump right back on the IVF horse, but right now I just want to say the hell with it all.

Amanda-- No, no you are not broken. This pregnancy was my 6th transfer. You can do this. Take time to figure out what's best for you. You can look into donor embryos, or save money to cycle again or afford donor eggs. Who knows, if dh has good swimmers, you may even have a natural miracle. You are too young to think it could be over. This is all just part of your journey. I know it sucks, but you'll get there.