First timer

[iamsimone]

I am a noob on this forum or any other for that matter, i went to a consultation today and have just been told that i have a zero percent chance of conceiving naturally. IVF is the only thing i can do, i get two rounds free on the nhs. However i have a crippling fear of needles, i have never met anyone who has ivf before and i am so scared i can't decide whether or not to go through this. I have pcos and don't ovualte, my periods are irregular and last count i had 52 follicles on my ovaries. I have had 7 cycles of clomid which did nothing other than make me sick, i have had a lapyroscapy and dye test and my tubes are clear, there is nothing wrong with my husband and i feel so guilty that i can't conceive even though i know it's not my fault. Any support you guys can give me in making my decision will be most appreciated, and anyone who has had ivf before can you tell me what its really like not just the medical side but the emotional and psychological side too, i need to know this is all gonna be worth the small chance that i might get pregnant at the end of it.

[Sunshine1576]

Hi imasimone, welcome to the group! Personally I've only been through one round of IVF so far, but I can tell you it's an emotional rollercoaster. I personally thought with the cost associated with IVF, it should be guaranteed to work, but nothing in life is guaranteed. Truly, you have to go in with an open mind of thinking it MAY not work the first time, but what protocol can we change up and do differently to ensure a better chance next time? This is what I really learned overall.

I feel for those I read about who have insurance coverage such as yourself, it helps in more ways than just finanical speaking. My SIL who went through IVF Attain program said it took off that stress of knowing if it didn't work the first time she would still have another shot. Haha speaking of shots, I cannot look at the needle either, so DH always gives them. But have him practice: Always pinch up the skin first and give the shot with a steady hand slowly injecting the med. After the first two weeks, it will become easier and before long he will be a pro!

You asked about the emotional side of IVF. It's a tough road to travel down, but if you look at the whole picture you are doing what it takes to turn that dream into a reality, so it's worth whatever it takes!

Sunshine1576

[MamaBoo]

I know IVF can be so overwhelming. I've done a fresh round and an FET before and when I started this new FET cycle two years after my last one, I was scared! However, it's easy to learn to do the shots and found it's like riding a bike, you never forget how.

Also, you said that you don't know anyone who has done IVF. I think it's quite possible you do, but don't know it. I was the 3rd person in my company to do it. There are less than 100 people who work there! I knew about one, but when I was telling someone else at about it, he said, yeah I know what it's like. My wife and I did it too! I was shocked. More people have done it than anyone realizes.

I did have a chance of OHSS, my E2 level went through the roof. However, my RE gave me an IV of something and I was told it would help keep me from getting it. I don't know what it was and I've only done a fresh cycle once so I've never had the occasion to worry about it again.

Good luck!

[iamsimone]

i don't know how everyone keeps so positive on here, i've really been struggling especially since it seems like everyone around me keeps getting pregnant a lot of which who weren't even trying, i have friends who were having infertility testing and each of them got pregnant on the first or second round of clomid, was feeling kind of left out that i was the only one having to go on to ivf, i'm glad we don't have to worry about the financial side of it as that probably would have stopped us alltogether. we're gonna take the next couple of months to get our heads round everything and start the first cycle in may. Heres crossing everything!

[elcope]

Hi there -

I just completed my first egg retrieval (IVF #1) yesterday, 2/24. Like you, I have a SEVERE fear of needles...no joke, I can handle just about anything else, but needles, and have been this way since I was a child. In fact, I couldn't even have my DH administer the injections, as he is just as afraid as I am (plus, I could get mad at him vs. a medical professional I couldn't!). My fertility center made arrangements to have me come in every day (and sometimes twice / day, depending on if blood work and ultrasound were also needed) to have the injections administered by one of their nurses. This took off a ton of stress on my side and I'd highly recommend asking if this is possible for you. My injections were given every afternoon around 3-3:30pm - and even for my HCG injection that had to be timed perfectly, I was able to come in at 9:30pm and meet one of the nurses.

Hey, it's worth the ask, if you are as afraid of needles as I am!

My stats so far:
Me: 34 (will be 35 in 1 month), DH: 35.
TC for almost 5 years now.
3 failed IUI's with Clomid.
IVF #1 hormone injections began on 2/13.
They are unsure of what the issue is with my fertility - but it is not my DH. I've had practically every test possible run and everything checked out perfect. Well, until now. Was told yesterday they recovered 22 eggs - which was fantastic news! However, just received a call this morning, saying that not one of them fertilized...not one. 15 of the eggs are mature and considered "perfect" - so they now believe this is where my fertility problems exists. They are going to attempt a rescue ICSI (actual injection of the sperm into the egg itself) today - and I'll know more tomorrow.

Anyhow - just wanted to let you know that you're not in this alone. Frankly, I'm just as tired of hearing / seeing everyone around me getting pregnant and that "it's in the water" - when it clearly isn't. As well, I'm having just as hard a time with those that are going through IVF - but have successfully achieved having a baby prior to their treatment. I wish there was a forum for those that have been TTC for years, without ANY success so far...and I know that sounds bad, but I'd be grateful to just have ONE!

I wish you the best of luck!

[iamsimone]

How was the egg retrival i think that scares me more than the blood tests, i have a tilted womb so most procedures down there tend to be more painful for me anyway, i understand what you mean about the people that have already had kids, i don't think they can possibly understand the pain of never having had your own child, after the two rounds of ivf we are giving up the stress of it all is just too much. I'm just not sure how i will be able to deal with knowing i never will have my own child, the hope is the only thing keeping me going right now. Hope everything goes well with the sperm injection.

[caesarsangel]

Hi,

I am also a first timer and I have just gone through the ER phase.
I was VERY scared of the needles but found that after a while I didn't notice when DH was giving them to me.
ER was really worrying for me. I hate the idea of going under at any time but it was so simple. I actually left thinking how much of a fool I was for working myself into a panic.
For me to willing have injections and go under is a mamoth task. And for me to be saying I will do it again if need be is even bigger.
Don't stress!! you will be fine. If someone who faints at the sight of a needle (me) can do it - so can you

[iamsimone]

they put you to sleep for the egg retrival? i was told they wouldn't do that and i would just get a general, only been put to sleep once before and it wasn't a pleasant experience, i'm trying to stay optimistic but i guess it's just all so unknown and frightening.

[blain0109]

Hi my name is Sandra I am 34yrs old and i wanted to share a bit about my roller coaster ride! I had my egg retrivel on 02/14/11 and 2 embryo transfers on 02/18/11 the 2ww has been the worst ever for me! I am on the climara patch and the progesterone injections! The symptoms that i go thru the whole time are as if i am pregnant already. The worst mind trick ever! Anyways i experienced horrible moods, sadness, being angry, breast tenderness, tired all the time, and lots of worries. I often found myself on google getting info on every symptom there is.lol I became very impatient and went out and bought a preg. test this past friday and of course it was negative. I have been driving my husband nuts! Well yesterday i finally went again to buy another test cause the wait is crazy, and the urine test came back positive! I am scheduled for my blood test tomorrow to confirm the pregnancy. All i have to say to those about to be on the 2ww be very patient and continue to pray everday for patience because you will drive yourself and spouse insane lol. Good luck to all!

[iamsimone]

Ok 1 week till we go pick up all the drugs and get taught how to use the needles, this is starting to feel real