Winter 2010-2011 Cycle Board

[HopeIsAllIHave]

Thanks everyone. I feel like life is playing a cruel joke on me. If it was not going to be a viable pregnancy, it should not have given me a positive result to begin with. Why give me a positive and give me every happiness in the world just to snatch it away from me 2 days later? It just makes this process so much more difficult. I am scheduled for another beta on Tuesday, but I really don't want to hold on to any more hope just to be disappointed once again. I am not strong enough to deal with this tragedy. Even if it were a vanishing twin, isn't 125 still a very low number for 16dpo? Ugh. When will the pain stop?

[margi26]

Oh Hope. I am so sorry for all your pain and uncertainty. This process is so very difficult on so many levels at different stages. What did the nurse (or RE?) say when they told you your beta? Were they optimistic it could be a lost twin? If they didn't say, then I'd call them tomorrow to get their opinion. I am praying for you and your bean. You do not deserve this pain. I am so sorry. Take care of yourself. Hold your loving DH tight and hopefully your next beta will show a good rise. A lost twin would be sad, but if there is one healthy bean in there that will be wonderful for you. You are totally in my thoughts these next two days. You are a very strong woman--more than you even realize.

[Kimber Baby]

Hope - I'm really sorry to hear that but keep up the positive attitude. It could just be the timing and vanishing twin like others suggested.

Leora - glad to hear you get to relax for the 36 hours. Yah for the trigger!

AFM: I broke down this morning and POAS. It was negative I wanted to kind of prepare myself for the call tomorrow since I will be at work when I get it and couldn't take off. So, I'm hoping the stick was lying to me but I'm not feeling too positive about it. We'll see...

Kimber

[hotgreentea]

(hugs) Kimber Baby.

[Lauren1171]

Ashley - it is like a cruel joke and sucks. As much as I hate getting AF 3 days before beta every time. It does not break my heart like a positive POAS result and a beta which does not double (which happened last April). I am so sorry that this is happening to you!

[HopeIsAllIHave]

Thanks, Margi. The RE said she does not know what happened. Everything had looked so good. She did not expect this drop at all. She said there's a 20% chance that it may have been a vanishing twin or there was a lab error, but it's not likely. They verified the labs by double checking. I guess we'll try again the next cycle. We have one frozen embie, but we'd much rather do a fresh transfer again. If money becomes an issue for us in the future, DH and I have decided to go to The Netherlands (his hometown) to try again, though I really hope it does not come down to that.

[HopeIsAllIHave]

Hope - I'm really sorry to hear that but keep up the positive attitude. It could just be the timing and vanishing twin like others suggested.

Leora - glad to hear you get to relax for the 36 hours. Yah for the trigger!

AFM: I broke down this morning and POAS. It was negative I wanted to kind of prepare myself for the call tomorrow since I will be at work when I get it and couldn't take off. So, I'm hoping the stick was lying to me but I'm not feeling too positive about it. We'll see...

Kimber

Thanks, Kimber. We'll see what happens, although I am really not hopeful.

I hope the test was a defect and that you'll get your positive beta tomorrow. Fingers crossed for you.

[HopeIsAllIHave]

Kimber- I hope the stick was lying too. I'm the same way regarding wanting to be prepared.Hopefully you'll get a pleasant surprise, it's never over until the beta results are in!

Hope- I'm so sorry to see that you are in beta limbo and agree with everyone about the cruelty of the situation. My last cycle several of us dealt with beta limbo, I didn't make it (chemical) but others did, so don't lose hope. Hopefully your next number will be a definitive doubling so things will look more reassuring. Big hugs for you.

Thanks, SD. What is the difference between a chemical and a miscarriage? What exactly did I have? I'm so lost.

[leorira11]

anton - thanks for all the positive energy! I swing between thinking "of course I'll have a baby" and "this will never happen" for us. It's so nice to know that I have so many people cheering me on, even when I'm feeling hopeless.

qita - often the doctors have no answers. What happens between ET and beta is a black hole that doctors can't explain. Prefectly formed blasts can fail to become a pregnancy, while less ideal embryos do. No one know why, which is really frustrating. Our last FET, we transferred 2 beautiful embryos, and nothing. UGH. I'm sorry things aren't so easy in Dubai. Maybe come visit in Israel? We have fantastic IVF clinics here! (stupid Arab-Israeli conflict! If you come to Israel and have your passport stamped, you can't go back to Dubai - but I've heard they are willing to stamp a separate paper so the officials in Dubai don't know you were here!)

Carol - I agree. Miscarriage is so taboo, but it's so hard on women. Most people just take 'sick days' and tell people they aren't feeling well. I am completely open about my losses. So why not share good news early? I do wait until I see a heart beat, but then I tell everyone!

Darlene - April is a good month! Best of luck!

Kerri - PUPO! Yay! When is your beta?

Ashley -- wow. I'm so sorry. That sucks so much. There is nothing worse than beta hell. I really hope that the number doubles again really fast. To answer your question, a pregnancy is only considered 'clinical' when they see a heartbeat on an u/s. If you miscarry before that, the pregnancy is called "chemical" since the only indicator you were pregnant was chemical (ie, the beta hCG in your blood). A chemical pregnancy is just a really early miscarriage. This is so awful. I totally understand being so angry at having good news only to have it taken away. Some days I wish that my dead twins and my miscarried singleton would have just been BFNs. But even if this ends, a pregnancy at all is a great sign that things could work again. Big big big hugs.

Kynlee - Not sure about Lupron (never taken it), but I take birth control pills before my cycles and I can take them as long as I want to make things more convenient for the IVF cycle. I hope that helps!

Kimber - I'm so sorry about your HPT.

AFM - ER is tomorrow. Today is a crazy busy day, which is keeping my mind off of tomorrow. I'll let y'all know how it went as soon as I get home (probably before y'all wake up!)



THE LIST:




-swaters2815 (Stephanie) - starting mid-January
-kbillsy – IUI 12.4, Beta BFN - saving up money to do it again!
-jmbella (Jenn) - waiting to start late-Jan/early-Feb
-Sunshine1576 - PLAN: Lap surgery, 2 rounds of IUI and then IVF in June (if not already pregnant!)
-anton - blood test on 2.25, RE appt on 2.28
-lauren1171 - WTF on 2.?
-Tiger04 - AF is here! IUI approx 2.22
-qita71 - WTF 2.12
-Penny100 (Darlene) - next cycle in April - good luck!



-Krisnjer - AF is here! on OCP, Suppression check on 1.19, ER/ET early Feb
-JustSoLost - on OCP - starting in Jan, approx ER/ET in early Feb, starting Lurpon 1.24, approx ER 2.14
-andsahsa - starting stims mid Feb, approx ET 3.3



- andrea3821 - COME ON, AF!



-NancyB - FET delayed to April
-Katie1231 - FET delayed to 3.18
-luv2bamom (Subha) - FET on 1.25
-ConnieC - FET 2.17



-Kynlee - AF started 1.18 - start Lupron Feb 6th - approx ER March 15
-margi26 – started Lupron! - approx ER 3.1
-deftonesmo - cyst - but cleared to start!



-leorira11 (Leora, aka listmistress!) - started stims 2.1, ER 2.15
-wannabeamum (Samantha) - started stimming 1.31, ER 2.16
-nwquiz - AF is here! waiting for IUI







-Kimber Baby - ER 1.28 , ET 2.3 - beta 2.14
-jkulab – start stims 1.21, ER 1.30 - ET on 2.5 , beta 2.16
-TammyS – start stims on 1.22, ER 2.3 - ET 2.6
-Sunshine 12 - start stims 1.27 - ER 2.6 - ET 2.9 - beta 2.20
-hotgreentea (Sherry) - start stims 1.23 - ER 2.3 - ET 2.9 beta 2.17
- HopeThisWorksM ER 2.5, ET 2.10 beta 2.16
- nat&alex - FET 2.9 - beta 2.17
-SDtrying#2 - started stims 1.27, ER 2.6 and ET 2.11 - beta 2.22
-LYD10 -start stims on 1.29 - ER 2.10
-CjofNC (Carol) – timed intercourse - started AF 1.25
-Kerri_789 - started stims 1.26 - ER 2.7 ET 2.9




-anacris (Nov) – FET 11.29, Beta 12.11 = 444, u/s on 12.28 - one happy, healthy baby!
-rypell1985 (Ryann) – start Lupron 10.11, lining check 11.29, FET 12.3, Beta 12.15 = 275, beta #2 = 824 - u/s = twins!
-annashope – natural IUI 12.2, Beta = 247, Beta#2 = 725 - one happy, healthy baby!
-kildean23 – FET 12.14, beta 12.27 = 565!, 2nd beta = 1315!, u/s on 1.6 - 2 sacs! next u/s 1.31
-taxcplforivf (Ginger) – start stims 12.4, ER 12.15, ET 12.20, beta 12.29 = 68!, beta #2 - 1466!, u/s 1.17
-BakersBaby (Kelly) – start stims 12/3, ER 1.13, ET 12.16, beta 12.30 = 365!, beta #2 1.7 = 3300, u/s one happy, healthy baby! OB visit on 2.2
- Karian - SURPRISE SPONTANEOUS BFP! beta = 101!, beta #2 - 566, u/s 1.18 - one happy, healthy baby!
-krcaja (Kristin) - ER 1.11, ET 1.16, beta 1.28 = 364! next beta 1.31 = 1565! u/s 2.15
- lou71 (Lou) - started stims 1.11, ER on 1.21, ET 1.24, beta 2.4 = 290! next beta 2.7 = 780! U/s on 2.22
-HopeIsAllIHave (Ashley) - ER 1.28 - ET 2.3 - beta 2.11 = BFP! 133, beta2 = 125.... waiting in beta hell.....


-Krys – started estrogen 11.11, FET 11.30, Beta 12.14- BFN
-Cshell717 (Mishell) – start stims 11.22, ER 12.3 w/ ET 12.6, beta 12.20 -BFN
-x0Heather0x – FET, b/w 12.3, u/s 12.10, FET 12.16, beta 12.28 - BFN
-Riya - beta on 1.7 BFN
-Jamiep03 - ET 12.27, beta 1.9 = 21.8, chemical
-kariberri517 - 3dt on 12.10, beta on 12.27 = 392, 12.29 = 472, 12.30 = 576...
-Sweetpea614 (Kat) - ER 1.14, ET 1.16, beta 1.28 BFN
-lynniecat - started stims 1.4 - ER 1.16 - no eggs at ER
-Trusting (Amanda) - started stims 1.10, ER 1/24 - beta 2.4 BFN
-amanda1979 - ER on 1.27 - ET 1.30 - beta 2.11 BFN

[nwquiz]

Hope- am so sorry this is happening. am with the others maybe its just a vanishing twin. fingers crossed for that beta to keep increasing. On another note its good at least you know you can get pregnant. that is what my doc tells me after a missed abortion as they call it.
Kimber- Fingers crossed for that BFP.
Leoriria- relax girl ER is tomorrow hurray to that. one day closer to bring home that baby.

[penny100]

Lou - Actually I grew up in the South suburbs. Not sure if you are familiar with, but Riverdale & then Tinley Park. I met my hub there & then we moved to the city for many years. Then we were planning on moving to Naperville but then my hub got a job up here & so here we are. We have been in GL for 13 years now. Never thought we would be here so long but it's just too darn expensive to move further south. Do you come to GL often to visit your hubs parents?

HopeisAllIhave - My prayers are with you. So sorry that you are going through this, but hopefully it is as other have suggested. Perhaps a twin that didn't make it.

Kimber - I am so sorry to hear your news. I just went through that with my first IVF & it's a total bummer! I ended up testing too right before I went in & when I received the neg. at least I was prepared for the answer. Didn't really make it any easier. I really hope & pray that you get a better answer than I did. I have read & heard of many who did test & got a neg. & then were surprised by getting a positive on their BETA. So fingers crossed for you.

Leora - Praying for all to go well with your transfer today. You are right once you don't have to stick yourself with those needles anymore, it's a piece of cake. I am looking forward to April & will enjoy living a normal life as we prepare to get ready for another cycle.

Jkulab - Your two week wait is almost over! I hope you get a BFP!

Wishing all a happy week!

[CJinNC]

Leora - good luck on your egg retrieval tomorrow (or tonight for us) - I hope you get lots of eggs to choose from!

Hope - usually it is called a chemical if it occurs within the first few days or week - it means the fertilized egg either did not stay implanted or there may have been a problem with it developing into a complete embryo with fetal pole, etc. This usually occurs before the hcg level gets high enough to see the sac on an u/s. A miscarriage is usually referred to an embryo that is lost after it is seen on u/s and/or heartbeat is seen/heard - after 6 weeks. A missed miscarriage (or missed abortion as nwquiz doc refers to it - just don't like using that word) is when the embryo may develop but something went wrong - may be genetic or chromosonal issue - but the body does not release it and hormone levels stay high, still indicating pregnancy. For most women, they find this out b/w 8-10 weeks at an u/s and the baby has no heartbeat or didn't continue to develop past 7 weeks or so. This is what happened to me and I had a D&C at 9 weeks.

Either way..... all of those really suck...

[jkulab]

Happy Valentines' Day everyone! unfortunately i have the worst headach! it started last night and i woke up in the middle of the night thinking i still have it. and it still hasn't gone away. i really don't like having a headache on valentine's day...

Have a great day!

[penny100]

Lou - Also forgot to mention I am with FCI Illinois. Somehow along the way I thought I got that you are with Advanced Fertility Centers of Illinois. Is that right?

Darlene

[HopeIsAllIHave]

Thanks Leora and CJinNC for the explanation. I guess I'm experiencing a chemical pregnancy then. Sucks. The tears just won't stop rolling. DH had to go to work today, but felt awful leaving me alone at home. I promised him I'll "man-up" and try not doing anything too crazy. Mom and dad left for India today for a visit and came over early this morning to say their goodbyes (boy, do I hate that word).. but anyway, I tried to stay strong and not get too emotional, but they kept saying things like "don't be disheartened, your day will come and we'll save up funds to help you with future cycles". Ahh, how can I not cry listening to that? I don't want my aging parents to worry about me. They should be saving up for their retirement, not for me. Breaks my heart twice as much. Sigh.

Anyway.. to liven up my mood and everyone else's who needs some cheering..

“Nature has got it all wrong: When you are younger, it should be harder to get pregnant, and as you get older it should be easier. When you are so ready, you can’t do it to save your life. And when you are 21, you are so not ready, but you are ripe as could be. The eggs should become more developed the older you get, not die slowly from the day you’re born. That’s one thing God got wrong.” – Halle Berry

I thought this was super cute.

Thanks everyone for being my support system through these difficult times. I feel like other than DH, this is the only other place I can truly let my feelings out. Thanks for listening. <3