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[Dee24]

Trusting- So happy to hear the story of how your mom came to Christ!!! God is Good... and so happy for your hubby continue his education.. i know you are proud.
RPH- i wished i could give you a hug!!! im sorry for the answer you got... my stomach hurts when i see the BFN... if you need to chat or anything know im here for you n praying for you sista

These days are going so slow for me but I have prepared myself for the wrost which is BFN! I know whatever happens is Gods plan n he is not ready for this to happen yet...and if it does then it is. I cant rush something that is not to be... i will be upset and sad if i get a BFN but i will know God has this and im ok with it. This sure has been a long journey for us chicks hasnt it.. i just want to say a big thank you to all of yall.... im so blessed i have people who care to stop what they are doing n log on; half across the world to tell me they are thinking of me and love me enough to care. I dont know why God choose us to go through this but I try to focus on the positive things for it, like made me stronger person, more closer to my hubby, allowed me to find special new besties from many states and one not even in the states..love ya Kay:)... im blessed to have gone through this just to recieve the many blessings that have come with this. If we do get a BFN i think we will take a small break and start back in May... my body needs a rest from the needles:-(.and I want to enjoy some summer with my family without worring about this stuff. no matter what i hope we stay in touch and keep the faith of holding our baby or babies in the future....i care for each one of you and pray for you as well.... 6 days in counting before I know which path i go to next and i hope u guys are with me whichever or where ever i go:-)

[Atgyyhsde]

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[Waitingkay]

Hello ladies!

rph - so sorry to hear about the BFN .
From my experience, no problem with going ahead to the next trial, except for the obvious money and emotional costs. I continued straight ahead and would have even faster if it wasn't for an extra frozen transfer in December after the Beta hell we've been through after the first chemical of round#1 in October. I'm writing a PM to you so you'll have my name and FB access, neither do I write anything publicly on Facebook about IVF cause not everyone knows, similar to you.
Amanda - I still didn't get an answer from my German friend regarding options as far as she knows in Germany, but after living in Europe for so many years there are no better countries I know of to do IVF in, the medical care and professionalism in Germany is second best to none in Europe. Also when it comes to male issues, not only the more, how shall I put it, "conventional" women issues.
We are having more luck than we thought in selling our place but on Tuesday we are running electrical radiation test around the place we were considering to buy since we saw there is a huge electricity double transformer pretty close and we would like to know before investing all we have there.
Dee - wonderful positive spirit girl. Waiting anxiously for your news, indeed it's quite amazing how we all get to care for each other even from far away continents. ALSO, and not less important, I'm totally with you when it comes to actually feeling closer to DH through this story. Amazing that I believe our marriage is stronger, more intimate than before the treatments. I share this (too) with you.
My hormones "readjusted" themselves, so luckily enough I didn't have to take Menogon, which unlike Menopour is not synthetic but from actual humane source (thus making it from older women's wee). My LH is totally normal and E2 is very high and on yesterday's u/s we saw many follies again. FINALLY I will inject the trigger shot (one and only) tomorrow early morning at 5AM, and on Sunday 02:30 PM I'll be having my ER. Please pray for us. We were ordered by RE to ring the Professor that invented IMSI, Prof. Bartov and he sounded really nice! Less busy and much more attentive than regular RE! Basically he explained to us and especially DH what to do. DH will have to give a sample very early Sunday morning, and for many hours the embryologists there will try to find the best suited sperms to undergo ICSI. There is time pressure, especially because I'm due to have quite a few follies (hope this won't mean reduced quality) and they need to find 2 good sperms for each (not an easy task reviewing the Kruger sperm tests resulting in 0% or 1% normal sperm head morphology). But after ER the eggs will be incubated for a couple of hours, allowing the IMSI clinic to deliver the selected sperms...with the hope we are only talking morphological problems, and not genetic issues within the sperms. We are so full of hope. But so afraid.

Hugs and prayers and warmth your way,
Kay

[Kamina]

I am so far behind...
Trusting - I did not get a positive. I got a BFN on the 12th. I did not test on Friday cause I was doing extra work in a movie. 'Contagion' with Matt Damon, Jude Law and Gwen P. It should be coming out in October. I have also stopped taking the prometrium and I am waiting for my cycle day 1. I am lightly spotting. I saw the doc on CD 21 Wednesday and he said he saw another 22 follicle. WTF, I was like ok so is it the same follicle????!!! He said it is a different follicle so I was not able to start the protocol, again. I just can't stop producing 'empty' follicles. So I asked if I could try ttc natually again and he said no, my lining was not the greatest. So you know, I did not even try. Boo.
Praise the lord that your mom has given her life over.

Dee, I hope all turns out well.

WaitingKay - I know just how you feel. I also feel numb to this process. Just wanting to get on with it one way or the other. lol. You are doing great what every emotional state you are in. You are still getting through it.

rph - I am soo sorry xoxo take care of yourself extra this week. Deny yourself, nothing.

I am just waiting for my cycle to start before making an appointment for another scan. I am currently on CD 23 and spotting very lightly. Hopefully by CD 28 AF will be here. She is getting so evasive....
Also my blood levels came back and my iron is falling again.... Hemotoligist is searching for the root cause. Need to make an appointmen with GM doctor. Also noticed white spots on my leg. I call them my little Michael Jackson's.

[Trusting]

Hello All,

Kamina--sorry to hear that your ovaries are not cooperating so that this cylce can get started for you... I know it has to be truly frustrating......Sounds like it would be fun being in a movie in any capacity do you do extra work often??? Thanks for the praise on my mom it is something that was prayed about for many years and I am just so grateful I was there to see it happen!!!

rph- What have you decided to do? Are you starting another cycle in March??

Dee--so eager to hear the news only two more day I think right????? How are you feeling? I hope you don't have to worry about a next time I hope this will be the one!!!

Kay-great to hear the house selling is going better than expected does that mean you got a good offer???? How did the radiation test turn out, hopefully all is well????? We need an update how are you?????? How was ER how many eggs did you produce???? How was the fertilization report???????

AFM - studing and trying to focus on other things. I did really great on my exam 98, Yahoo I didn't think I did that well. I am eager to have my follow up appt. and hear what the doctor says went wrong with my cycle although I already have a good idea it will be good to hear from the doctor and then get my medical records so I can send them to a IVF clinic in Czech Republic. I believe this is where we are going to try again they have the best prices of the countries close to where we are going to be. I don't know how the German insurance works so we are going to try this clinic in Czech and then if we have to do another round hopefully we will know more about how to get it done in Germany.

Blessings,
Trusting

[rph]

Ladies-

Exhausted,but I want you to know I am thinking of all of you waiting to hear news from Dee and K! Sending many thoughts and prayers out to you!

Decided to go straight into cycle #2. I'm on BCP now, and they are adding growth hormone to the regimen to hopefully improve my old-lady eggs. Wasn't prepared for that--thought I'd maybe have a hard time hanging on to the pregnancy, but everyone kept saying I was young and FSH was good blah blah blah....well at any rate, here's to another round.

And I can't wait to hear everyone's news!

[Waitingkay]

Hi everyone!

Kamina - happy to hear from you again!

Dee - When do you find out? Should be like today or tomorrow?

Rph - Glad you choose to start immediately again. On Sunday in the clinic there was a couple that waited a whole year after the first trial that didn't work, and the nurse was really surprised - I overheard she told them ppl come back month after month when possible.

Amanda - i trust you found out about the Czech republic being a good place. I always thought Germany was excellent, though I know they do have some restrictions regarding the embryos, the medical level is fantastic. So I'm sure whatever you go for will be great. I am afraid the price we put for our place was a bit too low, and that this may be why the buyers seemed quite eager. The place we are thinking to get though turned out just fine! This morning DH accompanied the radiation test and at the highest, radiation from the transformer near he house was 0.2. The permitted level is 2, so now we are calm at the thought that when we finally raise children there, they won't turn out to be freaks of nature

So. Sunday's ER, and a pretty valuable info for anyone ever trying IMSI:

07:20AM I start feasting
09AM DH taking a sample at home. We two drive to the IMSI clinic
10AM DH and I are answering questionnaires at the IMSI clinic while sample is going through selection based on motility, and then transferred to the "special" microscope to find the best suited sperms morphologically.
01PM we drive to the IVF clinic. I get ready while DH is already leaving back to the IMSI clinic. I'm left alone hoping the sample will be back in due time.
03:30PM Exactly when DH comes back with what the IMSI clinic put in the report as "Prime" sperms I go into ER. We have time for a kiss on the forehead. (Remember the 0% normal morphology based on Kruger? Was hard to find but what they found was great!!!) The sample will go to ICSI after the eggs retrieved will have incubated for two hours.
04PM I wake up happy, DH petting my hair. RE pips inside and marks with his hands 22. 22 follies. We are happy but not too much cause last time, 23 ended in 0.
05PM We drive home and I'm being sick on the way.

Yesterday:

RE calls to say 15 out of 22 were mature ( I think I may have triggered one day too soon). Out of the 15, 13 are fertilized with DH's "Prime" sperm. RE, DH and me are hoping the quality is good, knowing what happened last time when 17 fertilizations ended up in 9 the 3'd day, and out of 7 snow babies one survived the thaw to then turn chemical. again. We are afraid to be hopeful.
Today I will find out at what time tomorrow we will have ET. Pray for us please.

Prayers to you all,
K

[Kamina]

rph - Girl you need to take a break working 13 hour days cannot be good for you. I'm glad you decided to go into cycle #2. Yeah!
With all the unrest going on, I will only be traveling in the states.
Trusting - The last time I worked as a movie extra was when I was in college. I figured I should do something fun with my time off.
Dee, any news yet?
Kay - I will be injecting folistim(sp?) - does it hurt? I hope this time is a success for you. Thanks for the valuable info on the imsi. I am hoping the best for you.
Why do I feel so tired and dizzy again. I don’t feel like doing anything but sleeping.
Today I am having breakfast at a German Bakery. Having Apple Pancakes ( a big no-no) and coffee (another no-no) but I am beyond caring at this point. It has been a bad emotional day. I think the hormones are finally catching up with me.
I FINALLY started my cycle day one today. I will have a scan with the doctor tomorrow at 2pm. My doctor is on vacation and I will be seeing his partner, sigh. I really want to see my doctor because I will be starting my protocol. Looks like he wants me on Femara and Folistemsp? I hate it when he is not there. He was not their when things started to go wrong and I had the MC. Today, I am feeling ambivalent about even having children. I keep wavering back and forward and mostly feeling scared. I keep telling myself to stop letting my emotions get the best of me. I need to focus on what needs to be done and just get it done.
Today I met a nice Japanese lady while eating. She told me her life story: Internment camps, opening her first salon at 21, children, etc. Today was her 70th birthay- she seemed so brave and capable. I felt so small and childish. I need to rise above my current emotions and get a grip. OK, heading to whole foods for ground turkey and more sardines. Back to my usual diet.

Will I be able to travel during the injections or will I have to stay at home? My husband booked a trip to go to new york on March 3rd Thursday. I don't know if I can go or not.

[fieldec]

Hello everyone! I'm new to this forum and excited to find support and informaton on the road of infertility with IVf. My husband and I have been trying for about 19 months with a couple failed IUI's, so we have decided to set up our first consult meeting for IVF. I'm alittle nervous, but excited at the same time.

Fieldec

[Sunshine1576]

Welcome Fieldec!
This forum is fantasic with the most supportive group ever! I have only been here since last October but feel a strong connection already and as we travel down this journey together so many here can provide advice and answer IVF questions. Someone named "Ghost" has gained alot of respect here, her advice leads so many to ask questions and she is really helpful. Overall We'll be the most loving IVF sistas you'll ever meet even as you travel down "Crazytown"!
Sunshine1576

[Trusting]

Hi ladies,

Dee----???????? I hope you are out celebrating with hubby!! I just went and checked your Facebook, YAHOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Congrats to you on your BFP!!!!! what is your BETA???????

Kay--Hoping all is going well, how did ET go???? Sorry to hear you were sick after ER. That is great news on the house checking out ok!

rph--congrats on starting another cycle many blessings your way, praying this will be it for you

Kamina--glad to hear you are finally getting started but sorry your doctor is not in town. Your breakfast sounds really good I really enjoy fruit pancakes. I did decide not to go back on coffee since we will be doing another cycle I just figured it would be eaisier if I don't start up on it again. I know what you mean about the back and forth thing, I want children so bad but sometimes I feel that maybe it is for the best somehow that I don't have any. I know God keeps up from bad things by not letting us have what we think will bring us great joy, only He knows the big picture. We are certainly going to try as many times as the Lord will allow us financially. It is so hard to control our emotions through all of this I know especially during my 2WW it was crazy one day I was convinced I was prego and the next I was convinced I wans't and asking my self who am I that God would give me this wonderful blessing. It is a good thing God is in the Blessing business whether we understand it or not. During my stims I had to go for U/S every other day so they could measure and monitor my ovaries so I don't think you can travel but different clinics do it very differently so I would call and ask how often they will want you to come in for monitoring.

AFM- I did a little research on the Czech Republic and it does sound and seem like very good clinic. We just don't know how everything works to get the German insurance to work with us on trying an IVF cycle there in Germany so we just want to make arrangements for a cycle now so we know we will not have to wait once we get there.

Blessings to all,
Trusting

[Trusting]

Welcome Fieldec!!!! IVF is certainly something only people who have been through it can truly understand you are in the right place for support and sharing! When is your consult? Where are you located in the states???? Me TN and another one of us on this board is in Georgia I think. Do you have any kids already or will this be your first???

Blessings,
Trusting

[rph]

DEE-
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO HAPPY FOR YOU! Was this your first round ever? I am just so excited!

K-
Sounds like amazing numbers! I'm anxiously waiting to hear the results and when the big day will be.

Kamina-
Yay! Protocol started! Depends how long on the travel--they usually need to see you for ultrasounds and bloodwork every few days--you might be able to pull off a long weekend trip though!

Fieldec-
Welcome!

Amanda-
When is the big move?

I start stims next Friday...

Talk to you soon!

[greekchick]

hi everyone hope ur all well...its my 1st time cycle with ivf im on my 3rd day of daronda injectable which i started on the 21st day of my period (does any1 know this drug?)just after some inforation on how i surpose to be feelin right now?coz i feel like my period is coming..??

[Waitingkay]

Hi everyone!

Welcome fieldec! You'll get tons of support here.
Welcome Greekchick - I don't know the drugs you were naming, but feeling like AF is coming or all in all feeling totally weird is completely attributable to the lovely drugs we have to inject.

Amanda hi!!! - feels like ages since we spoke. How are you preparing towards "the big move"?

Rph - Thanks for the cheer up on FB..I'm so happy that you continue straight away.

Dee - As I have written to you on FB, can't stop thinking of you and how happy you must be, you are such a light for us. Such a positive thought to hold on to. Xo.

Kamina - Haven't spoken to you either for so long. I know exactly how you feel about drifting emotions that are trying to get the best of you. I let myself go too much in so many ways, as if I'm more ready to accept failure, that's how scared I am after the first times. Another thing about traveling, is that at least the meds I was using needed fridge temp. so not so simple to travel with them - though in so many other ways, to have positive and interesting fun movie things to be busy with could help during this tough period, I guess.

Well, Wednesday was our ET. We finally got to chat with the main embryologist who isn't such a big fan of the IMSI technology. He said it definitely can't harm but that he doesn't trust it can help substantially either. We don't know how many survived yet, after 13 fertilizations on Monday, Wednesday 5 had good quality. We transferred 3 grade A and don't know how many they'll choose to cryopreserve after this. We are too afraid and emotionally drained to hope or be happy. I'm sorry to say this, but that's how we feel and maybe this is just our way of preparing ourselves for the "what ifs".

I think of all of you, and pray the same prayers.
K