FEB / MARCH 2011 Cycle Buddies!! can't wait!

[BlissfulCS]

AFM- just received my fertilization report and I am just a little disappointed. I know I should be happy, especially given the challenges others have. I feel stupid and selfish for even expressing my concern after cwehrs last post, but I am still a little scared I too will wind up at transfer without a blast. Of the 14 eggs, 9 were mature and 6 fertilized. I know, I know...it only takes one. But given that we had more in my "younger" cycle and none of the four we transferred stuck I have serious concerns about embryo quality. Of course that is why we are going to blast this time, to "test" quality and make sure we get the best. It is going to be a long week, waiting to hear how they do. I was just doing a fertilization meditation when the clinic called. I am going back to meditating and pulling in positive energy now. No need to dwell on the negative possible outcomes. Grow embies grow!

By the way- I LOVE my fertility meditations. They really get me through moments like these. I found some that are specific to IVF (Anji is the company that produces them). There is a pre-retrieval meditation, a post-retrieval meditation, a post-transfer meditation, and a post implantation meditation. They are pretty great. There is also a good series of general fertility meditations (not IVF specific) produced by Health Journeys. For those of you that are so inclined, they really help me keep my spirits up.

Cwehrs and others who are hurting- there is also a great meditation for grief and healing after a cycle, loss or while taking a break from trying on the Health Journeys CD. It could help...

[indigofire]

Zdia - I am so sorry to hear of your negative. I hadn't refreshed my page when I replied this morning.

cwhers - Oh sweetie, so so so sorry!

AFM - more bad news. My beta was officially negative this morning. Onto frozen blast transfer. So I guess I'm officially waiting for AF now.

Question for all of you. I have NEVER had a postive pregnancy test after a million IUI's, home inseminations with a donor, lots of unprotected sex before my hubby got cancer, a round of IVM with 4 embryos transferred and now IVF with 2 transferred. Is there anything that I'm missing? Any test that I don't know about that could be preventing these embryos from implanting?? I have PCOS but women get pregnant with PCOS all the time. I'm just really confused.

Off to change my tickers.

Thanks again for all of your support.

[BlissfulCS]

indigofire- I'm sorry about the official negative. I asked my RE the same thing after my last negative. Sometimes I think it is just this big unknown because it is really hard to determine root cause. It could be embryo quality (caused by either or both egg and sperm), could be lining quality, could be your body rejecting the embryos, and so on. I have the impression that most often it is embryo quality, that the embies we transferred were just never genetically equipped to make it to be a healthy pregnancy or baby. That said, I have hear stories of women who for whatever reason thought they had a healthy lining but learned later through laparospcy or hysterosalingogram that they had polyps and fibroids and once removed had success with IVF. I assume you have had one of those two tests done, I think the hysterosalinogram is standard protocol (and laparascopy is pretty invasive and only used I think with tubal issues/known fibroids). It stinks that we can't know more.

I also read once that given enough time and resources, 80% of couples get pregnant with IVF. Each try increases the odds of a pregnancy until you get to 6 full cycles, at which point it declines. To me that just demonstrates that we really are kind of rolling the dice each time. Past 6 attempts, for the 20% that will not get there it probably means there is something wrong which may not be addressed medically...the dreaded "unknown infertility".

I am no doctor though, so naturally you need to ask the same question of him/her. You may also consider switching REs if you think that will help.

Whatever happens you have time and you have people who understand you here to help as you think about what to do next. For now, allow yourself to heal and lean on DH as well. Best to you. Let us know what you need and how we can help.

[cwehrs]

Wow, this appears to be a crappy day for lots of people!

zdia/indigo- I'm so sorry for your BFN's. Trust me, I know how you feel.

Blissful- Thank you for your kind words. There is no need to feel bad about worrying for your embryos, I understand completely. Even if I had gotten 6-7 fertilized eggs instead of 2, I still would have been worried about it. You just never know. But I'll be rooting for you. You deserve it.

[blairwh58]

indigo- After all our failed attempts at trying naturally for a year, then 3 IUIs, then 1 fresh and 1 frozen failed IVF....I asked the RE i was with to run whatever tests they could so we could figure out why things werent working. We had chromosomal testing, antibody testing, and a ton of other tests that equaled us payign $1500 after it went through insurance. If you havent had those I would recommend them. It wasnt until we did those that I found out I was homozygous for MTHFR gene and would need to be on Lovenox after the transfer. Best of luck and dont give up.

blissful- 6 is still a great number, and waiting for them to go to blast stage means they will be the best of the best. Keep your head up and know that no matter how awesome the news we get is- we all worry. Everyone dealing with infertility issues worries about every step of the process....even I have convinced myself that when I go back for baseline after I start Lupron and AF comes that I will have a cyst and the cycle will be postponed. We all play these mental games with ourselves. Just keep your head up and know that your baby or babies are in that bunch.

[to_have_fun08]

Wow not a good day on the board. I'm so sorry Cwhers/Indigo/Zida. Believe me i have been in all your shoes. How i keep on going I really don't know. I read your posts and a lot of memories come flooding back. My eggs rarely brought me any happiness. I remember several transfers when i just cried my way home because I knew it just wasn't going to work because of poor embryos. We had one cycle we didn't have anything to transfer. The main problem is there is no real answers to why it isn't working. Seems that we just keep throwing money at it and just hopefully it we will get to be one of the lucky ones and it works. I don't have any answers just hope that you have better success in the future.

Blissful - Don't feel selfish it is normal to want more, especially when you have had unsuccessful cycles. You have 6 and you just have to keep on hoping that one of those 6 is your golden egg.


AFM- Guess i can deliver some good news since we haven't had much today. I got my 3 day report and to me it is awesome. out of 6 cycles on day 3 i have only had 3 - 8 cell embryos, out of the 3 only 1 was good. the other 2 were like a grade 3. All my other embryo's were generally 6 cells or less on day 3. Today i have all 13 still chugging along. here's my report. We are doing CGH biopsy today and will hopefully have the results on thursday for transfer. if not then we will have to transfer on friday.
1 - 5cell grade 2
2 - 7 cell grade 2
3 - 8 cell grade 1
1 - 9 cell grade 1
4 - 10 cell 2 grade 1 / 2 grade 2
2 - 11 cell 1 grade 1 / 1 grade 2

[BlissfulCS]

Thanks Blair, to have fun and cwehrs. You are class acts and your kind words help. My baby is out there...either in that bunch, frozen in the four from the first cycle, or somewhere I can't even imagine yet.

Definitely having a "Bud Light" moment thanks to you ladies (otherwise known as the "I love you man!" moment).

tohavefun- THAT IS TERRIFIC!!! It does feel good to have some great news today. Thanks for sharing. Grow babies grow!!! I am so thankful and hopeful for you.

[WeHaveHope]

I just received my Final fertilization report. A total of 10 Day 5 & Day 6 embryos that had all developed to blastocyst stage became snowbabies today. Here is the final grading for all 10;

1-4AB
1-3AB
4-3BB
2-3BC
1-2BB and
1-2BC

Will probably have FET towards the end of the month. Happy and nervous all at the same time.

[crissylove]

Cwehrs, Indigo, Zdia-Really don't have words to express how much I empathize for the anguish and hurt you guys are feeling. So many us have been there ourselves. Only those who have struggled in this battle have the strength to enter into the fight in the first place. So I'm hoping that you will all find the strength to fight again, and if you have the strength I'll be praying for your circumstances to improve to allow you another opportunity. Know that you have a true sisterhood of women waiting to listen to you and encourage you every step of the way.

"Pain by itself is merely pain,
but the experience of pain coupled with an understanding
that the pain serves a worthy purpose is suffering.
Suffering can be endured because there is a reason for it that is worth the effort."

Bliss- I started with the same number and ended with about the same number fertilizing as you. As we've learned, it's what you're left with that matters. F's X'd 4U on ET day. Go enjoy ur Birthday. Glad we got to share it with you.

LYD10- Thank God for the numbers going in the right direction. So thrilled for you woman.

FUN/WE-sending good vibes your way on ET day too.

ERIN-Congrats on being PUPO!

BTW-Bliss n Blair you can stop the "Bromance". I'm so tee-d that Kentucky beat my Gators last weekend. UGH!!

All the new ladies-welcome.

AFM-I spent all night in the Emer Rm. in agonizing abdominal pain. I'd been having pain that had been building for days and last night I'd had enough. Turns out I have a late case of OHSS. WE/ERIN now I see what you guys had been going through and man-o-man it stinks! I'm just hoping it improves, but my RE said it might get worse b/f it gets better. I've gained about 7 lbs in under 5 or 6 days. I'm so distended I look like I'm 5 mos pregnant. It's going to be tough to keep the nosy-bodies outta by biz at work. I work with mostly women. On a positive note, bcuz they had to take a ton of precautions and do all sorts of blood work, I learned that my Beta quantity is now 711! Helps put my mind at ease.

[ckret01]

I am so sorry to hear all the sad stories today. Hugs to all of you! I think I can add to the horrible, no good, very bad day today!

This is my first IVF cycle. I had my ER on Feb 13, ET on Feb 18.....from Feb 17, the day before my ET I have been POAS...I know I should not have been but I wanted to see when the trigger shot was out of my system. Well since that day all of my POAS were positive, very light but positive until last night and today. The one from last night, this morning and one a little while ago you can barely see the line anymore....so any good hopes I finally had are now completely gone. I am so sad. I was supposed to go for my beta on Thurs but for some reason my Dr called and said to go tomorrow. This sucks!

[to_have_fun08]

crissy - Sorry about your OHSS but Congrats on the awesome 2nd beta. 711 is excellent. hope the OHSS subsides soon.

[sweetmomi]

Yes, I had a 5dt on saturday.

There is a list I used to be able to find on here of when embryos implant, like a schedule of some sort. I cannot find it anymore.

something like ....
1dp5dt blastocyst hatches
2dp5dt implantation
7dp5dt hcg detectable

[indigofire]

Is this what you're looking for?

**this is what happens in a 3dt :

1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
2dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells &
fetal cells
8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on
HPT

===========

**this is what happens in a 5dt :

-1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
0dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
1dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells &
fetal cells
6dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
7dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on
HPT

[crissylove]

cket01-I have to rain so PMA on your parade...the fact that you see any line all means ur PUPO literally. So hang on to hope don't get down in the dumps unless you have a REAL reason to. It's just the hormones setting you up in a mind "screw". F's X'd for tmrw's beta.

[blairwh58]

Ckret- I second crissy. I think the fact that you have been getting a positive is a good thing. Light or dark I would stay positive for tomorrows beta. Hopefully you'll go in and find out you were worrying for nothing. Good luck and keep us posted.