New Here and Currently Going Through IVF #1

[elcope]

Hi everyone -

I just completed my first egg retrieval (IVF #1) yesterday, 2/24.

My stats:
Me: 34 (will be 35 in 1 month), DH: 35.
TC for almost 5 years now (gave up for a year to help relieve the stress / pressure and picked back up in early 2010)
3 failed IUI's with Clomid - latest one on 12/29/2010.
IVF #1 hormone injections began on 2/13 - egg retrieval yesterday, 2/24.

Up until this point, they have been unsure as to where my issue is with my fertility - but it is not my DH. I've had practically every test possible run (I did have a few fibroids removed from my uterus last June, but they do not believe this is stopping me from being able to conceive) and everything has checked out perfect.

Well, until now.

After yesterday's retrieval procedure, I was told they were able to recover 22 eggs - which was a fantastic number! Even better news was that 15 of those eggs were considered mature and "perfect". However, I just received a call this morning, saying that over night, not one of them fertilized...not one - and they now believe this is where my fertility problem exists (egg and sperm not able to connect). They are going to attempt a rescue ICSI (actual injection of the sperm into the egg itself) today - and I'll know more tomorrow...but it's not good news to try and perform ICSI the day after retrieval (usually this occurs the day of). I was also told this is a very rare condition - and approximately only 1-2 cases like this, occur every year. So glad to be such an over-achiever.

As well, my stomach is really uncomfortable. I am soooo bloated, cramping, and feel like I'm the size of a whale. Of course, they say this is normal - but they also said I would be able to return to work today (the day after). After attempting to drive in to the office, I turned around and came home. My stomach is so uncomfortable and my pants are barely buttoning (I wish I could wear sweats to the office, but I can't!). Anyone else out there having this issue?

Anyhow. I'll know tomorrow if the ICSI worked. Every digit possible is crossed right now, as this is my only shot at IVF. Not only financially (insurance only covers 1 try - even though I'm grateful it even covered that!) - but emotionally as well, as I just don't think I could go through the entire process all over again. I am incredibly afraid of needles - biggest fear of mine, since childhood...and I even had to make arrangements to have a nurse at my fertility center give me the injections every day (sometimes going in twice a day!). I couldn't have DH do them - as he is just as afraid of needles as I am...and all it would take is one "look" of fear on his face, and I'd lose it! I just couldn't do it. Besides, a nurse knows what she's doing - not to mention, I can't technically get mad at her, like I could my DH!

Thanks to everyone for listening - and even more so, if you'd like to leave a comment. I'm off to read other stories and so glad I found this forum!

[lou71]

So sorry to read about your fertilization issue. I really hope rescue ICSI works. My problem is I never get many eggs, but the truth is, it really does only take one. My last cycle, I only retrieved 3 eggs. Of those, 2 were mature, and of those only one fertilized with ICSI. On day 3 I transferred a beautiful 8 celled embryo and today I am 7 weeks pregnant (finger's crossed I stay this way a looong while)! I hope you have a success story as well. As for doing another cycle. Sometimes it just takes more than one. If you can conquer your needle fear, I think your future is good. Often the 1st IVF is our RE learning how our specific bodies respond and on a future try they are able to perfect our protocol to help us achieve our dreams.

[Heidi67]

Hi Elcope,

I had the same experince during my first IVF. Of the 33 eggs retrievd none fertilized. I was in shock when the nurse called, and then I cried my eyes out. With emrgency ICSI I only had 3 ET, the rest didn't make it.I got the same response from the dr "maybe that's why you haven't gotten pregnant all these years".

Since then we've gone through 2 more cyles with ICSI and better results, but unfortunately no BFP. IVF isn't covered so we've had to pay for each cycle, if we get a BFP this next cycle it'll all be worth it . If not atleast we'll have enough points on our credit card to go on a fantastic trip, lol.

I hope your experience is more successful then mine was.
Heidi

[elcope]

Update: Just received a call from the doctor's office - they said they were able to fertilize 3 eggs via rescue ICSI!

Now, I'm just waiting for the call on when my transfer appointment will be - which could be as soon as tomorrow, but potentially on Tuesday (day 5).

3...

I'm still in shock. Yesterday I was so down...and now there's at least a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel - and while I know I'm not in the clear, it's still a better picture than it was 24 hours ago.

And I'll definitely take 3 - because as Lou71 said, it only takes one. And Lou71 - I'm sending happy thoughts your way. 7 weeks and counting...you're well on your way!

Heidi - our paths are almost identical. Thank you so much for sharing with me - while it's never easy, it's still comforting to see other women out there that can completely empathize. I'm sending happy thoughts your way as well - and I so love your attitude...however, I'm hoping your fantastic trip includes a little one sitting in the middle seat on that airplane between you and your DH!

Thanks again for listening - I'll keep you posted on the outcome.

-Erin

[fieldec]

That's great that ICSI was able to fertilize them. Good luck!

Fieldec

[Heidi67]

Hi Erin,
Just wondering how your transfer went. Glad to hear some fertilized.
Heidi

[madi]

Hi Elcope

How did everything go.

I am on my second round of ivf and 4 made it to blast stage! Had the blood test yesterday and got a BFP reading my hcg reading was 250!
I am sooo happy but terrified as tomorrow i have the second blood test and they have told me that the reading should have at least doubled by then!
What if it hasnt???
Any ones thoughts????
I have no idea what my chances are of holding my little one inside me. I am scared of getting excited and losing the little treasure.

[elcope]

Hi everyone!

So I received a call on Monday from my doctor - one of my 3 embryos didn't make it through Sunday, so I was down to 2. She recommended I come in that afternoon, instead of waiting for a day 5 transfer (which would've been Wednesday) and do an immediate day3 transfer of both embryos - so I headed straight for their office...

I got to see both embryos - was told one was "picture perfect", but the other was just "okay". Transfer took all of 5 minutes and was probably the easiest procedure I've gone through yet.

OHSS was probably the worst it's been on Monday and Tuesday - but US on Monday before ET wasn't alarming on the fluid buildup. In total, I've gained 10 pounds since Sunday, 2/20. Not a single pair of pants fit, I could hardly breath, and sleeping was so not an option. By Wednesday, it got a little better - slept 4.5 hours straight and breathing was getting better. Yesterday, I was able to button my pants for the first time in 2 weeks...so it seems it's more manageable. I've been talking with my RN every day - and we both think I'm doing good right now, but know it could come back...so we'll keep an eye on it.

I go in for beta #1 on Saturday, 3/12 - and while they gave me rough statistics of 50% for only one embryo taking, my fingers are crossed that both little buggers would love to stick around. They gave us a picture of the two embryos and I have it stuck to the front of my fridge - I talk to it and my tummy all the time, and tell them that they'd really love it here...and my animals for some reason, won't leave me alone! My dog and 2 cats keep lying next to me and crawling all over me, as if they're giving their own shout out!

Anyhow, time will tell I guess.

Heidi - Thanks so much for asking - how have you been?

Madi - Congrats on the BFP!!! That's wonderful news - and I'm sure your second beta will be even better than the first! And I know what you mean about being nervous - the day of my ET I didn't even want to go use the bathroom, made my DH avoid every bump in the road, etc. Please keep me posted on your status - would love to keep up to date!

[Heidi67]

Hi Erin,
A picture perfect embie is fantastic, and you have one for back up one too, that's really good news. I know the TWW is tough, but keep up those positive thoughts.

I'm doing alright, saw the King's Speech last weekend, an amazing movie about the human spirit.
I hope you get good news in a couple of weeks, Keep us posted.
Heidi

[elcope]

Hi - long time, no talk...

The 2WW was killing me, so I tried to stay away from the boards, to keep my mind off everything.

But, Thursday, I broke down and POAS and it came back negative. I was in such a foul mood all day - even though I knew it could be wrong...but I couldn't help it.

Today, I went in for my beta test, trying to stay optimistic. Got the call at 1pm on the dot that that too, was negative.

So, my fertility journey ends here. Not only am I emotionally and physically drained - but financially, it's just not in the cards. What makes me mad the most, is how my nurse kept talking about "next time". Finally I told her to stop saying that - and maybe she needs to be a little more cognizant of their not being a next time for some people. I'm really starting to feel like these fertility clinics are only in it for the money - seriously! Cause if I had a dollar for every time one of them said "next time" just in the past 2 weeks, I'd actually have enough money to pay for another round of IVF.

I know I'm just upset right now - but maybe they should always plan for the worst, right up front - and not assume that we're all in it for round after round. For instance, my doctor brushed over both rescue ICSI and OHSS during our final meeting, saying I wouldn't need to worry about either of those issues - and therefore, didn't explain either of them. And wouldn't you know, I had to worry about BOTH of them. They believe that had they known none of my 22 eggs retrieved were not going to fertilize w/i 24 hours, they would've performed rescue ICSI immediately after my ER - which would have probably had a higher success rate than only 3 of them fertilizing a day later (told me "it might be too late, but we're going to try"). Only 3 of 22 eggs, because they waited too long. Why couldn't they have just done the rescue ICSI on say, 5 of the eggs, right off the bat? My insurance would've covered it, without question - and it's not like I didn't have a lot to work with.

I guess I could go on and on about the what-if's. But to hear so many times that certain "issues" only happen to say 2% of women - and then to find out, I fall within that percentage, it's just frustrating. They say I'm the only case in the past 2 years at my facility that didn't have any eggs fertilize in the first 24 hours - and that this occurs in roughly only 1-2 women in the US, each year. Awesome. So glad I could contribute to that statistic. Then the same w/OHSS - only 2% of women get that...and wouldn't you know it? I know, I should really try to stop being such an over-achiever.

Next steps? I guess we'll be looking into adoption. Not even sure the first place to begin with that...if anyone has any recommendations, I'm all ears. But for right now, I just want to wallow...

Anyhow. I wish the rest of you the best of luck, wherever you are in the journey. I'm sorry to be such a debbie-downer...but for once, I just wanted either that damn stick or the blood test, to come back positive. But you know what they say, everything happens for a reason...and I guess I need to think that my body is trying to tell me something (especially with all the rare statistics I seem to be having).

Good luck and best wishes, everyone!

- Erin

[Kamina]

I hate needles too!!! OMG you are so like me. I have a friend who is a nurse and I am going to ask her to do my injections.

[Trusting]

elcope--so sorry to hear of all your complications....it is truly frustrating and depressing. I know that it seems like the last straw and there is no other way but hopefully somehow a solution will arise. I didn't think that my husband and I would get another chance either but...we are a military family and we got orders to Germany and the IVF procedure is significantly cheaper in other countries about 4 to 5 thousand in the Czech Republic which is not far from where we will be so we are saving every penny and going to give it another try over there. At any rate wish you all the best with the adoption search and definitely take the time to heal it is very hard to rebound back from I go my BFN in January and it still seems like yesterday.......

Blessings to you,
Trusting