Winter 2010-2011 Cycle Board

[Sunshine1576]

Couldn't sleep last night and feeling very sick early this morning with an upset stomach. Recapping on everything thats happened it's been a tough week on the Winterboard for several of our IVF sisters and you girls are certainly in my thoughts right now. I'm really praying for each one of you. Also I want to pray that God willI give us comfort with guidance and watch over us giving us peace of mind in our upcoming journey in what our next steps may be. I look forward to hearing updates on how the follow-up appointments go, but also understand it doesn't give us the answers to why this happened. I know it's tough to swallow right now, but also believe each day on you will get stronger and together we will be continue on and find what it takes to make this miracle happen. With feeling so lost right now, we must continue to trust God with all our hearts and know He has a plan for us to follow. So right now I'm sending out my thoughts, prayers and surrounding each one of you with comfort and much love on this forum, know you certainly are not alone.
Sunshine1576

[lou71]

Kynlee -- I'm so sorry for your news. I wish it were as easy as if you put in embryos, then you are pregnant. But it's not. Sometimes it takes many tries and perserverence. I know. But it's not fair. I believe you will have your time.

[riogirl71]

Kynlee - I sent you another pm, the nice thing is you do have time on your side, it doesn't make things better but at least your window for trying is a lot larger than us girls in the late 30s or 40s. Huge hugs.

Carol - I am so sorry and I truly hope things come around for you with the house and everything else, keep playing the lotto and looking for that rich lost uncle, I will pray for a miracle for you!

Margi - I don't even want to hear a mention of possibly losing this baby, NOT ALLOWED! THis baby is here to stay!

Sunshine - drink your water and stay healthy!!!

Anton - thinking of you!

Katieb- much luck with your frosties!

[longtimerivf]

Just stalking a little...

Kynlee - I'm so sorry... take your time...

Katieb - I was so happy when stalking I saw your BFP... and then... I'm so so sorry for you... I hope that this was the last time you have to go through this and next time your BFP will be your lil' one's little sibling!! Hugs!!

Anton - I was hoping you'd prove that fifth time was the charm... I'm so sad... Big cyber hugs across the ocean... take care and hope to see you in the FET board... (I'm still not there but hopefully will get there soon)

Hugs to all...

[amanda1979]

KYNLEE- I am so so sorry this is the hardest thing I have ever been through & I have been through alot of bad things. there are no words to discribe what we girls go through.

Carol- I am praying you find some peace somehow & maybe a window will open up.

AFM; My mom has stage 3 cervical cancer. there will be no surgery at this point just 6 wks of chemo & radiation. He said surgery with chemo & radiation could cause a hole in the colon, uterus, or rectum so no surgery. the only bright side I can come up with is that is stage 3 and not stage 4, but we have a long road ahead of us. they live 4 1/2 hrs away from us with no way to go. So if she home & does everything where she lives we will be traveling up here for 6 wks. & working 3rd shift weekends (which is what we work anyways) She may come live with us for the 6wks and go to another known great hospital which is just 1 1/2 hr away from us. I told her to what ever she feels comfortable with. we don't want to sway her one way or the other. This is her life & she needs to be certain where she wants to be treated. We will work with whatever she decides. We did like her doctor & nurse

[Tess69]

Sad times for the Winter board...we really need some good news!

Amanda - this must be an incredibly hard time for you now. It sounds like you are providing some amazing support for your Mother. Stay strong for her and know that you can always vent to us if you need to.

Kynlee - I'm so sorry that you didn't get your BFP. I hope you're doing okay. I'm thinking of you.

Anton- stink, stink, stink, stink, stink. Sometimes life is so unfair.

Katie - big Kiwi (New Zealand) hugs coming your way. I'm so sorry...

Carol - I also go through real feelings of sadness at the moment. I present myself as being a strong person at work and then get home and turn to pieces. My workplace (a govt dept) has a free counseling service. I'm going to sign myself up for that. I really need someone impartial to rant to. Do you have access to something similar. I try to remind to remind myself of all the good things in my life. Hard when the one thing that you really want is a baby.

Sunshine - getting close now.

Greekchick - every RE has a different opinion on sex after ET. I remember on one of my earlier boards, one woman had been told not to have sex for 32 wks. WTF!! Like you feel like sex if you're 32 wks pregnant! I think a couple of weeks after ET is sensible. I had great sex drive when I was pregnant. Loved it! Felt young and horny! Definitely need to make the most of those great hormones. TMI I know!

AFM - had a crazy busy week at work and looking forward to a lazy weekend. Next weekend I'm off to support four of my work colleagues who are doing the Oxfam Trailwalker - 100 kilometers in under 36 hours. I was meant to be doing it but then ended up pregnant, and then not pregnant....arghhh! Yip, life's a roller coaster.

Have a great weekend everybody. Chins up!

[greekchick]

tess--thanks for the info hun im going wait for my test next week anyway b4 think bout sex hahaha...cant help feeling negative bout this im tryin to be postive i dont thinks its worked my boobs r sor but they been sore all the way through from the injections ad the et down last thursday ad cramping from sat-tues then nothing shud i be havin any signs ov any sort yet???
i know its too early and every1 goes through this bit tryin stay occupied or think bout it its impossible not to think about it....im sorry for goin on got no-1 here to talk to tho..xxxx

[kynlee]

Amanda So sorry about your Mom I will keep her in my prayers... Its nice that you will be helping her out and going to appts, I am sure that means the world to her...

AFM- Still devasted but trying to look ahead...Ill keep checking in on everyone... I am not going to give up, just need to figure what we are going to do next....

[anton]

Hi everyone

I missed you! I 've been stalking the board these past few days but I just couldn't type a single word! can you believe it!...I am sure you can... God is playing tricks on us in mysterious ways. I believe He is testing our strength and faith and he is going to reward us with a baby at the end...I just hope the end is not very far! I 've been doing some soul searching since my BFN and I've decided that crying for our fate and being sad will not do me/us any good. I cried & cried until no more tears left and then I said to my self and DH that we can't let THIS failure beat us! we need to find our strength and move on. I am going to leave this behind us and focus on our next step which is FET in May. I wish my 5th time was The one but it wasn't. I wish I was pregnant now and enjoy my first weekend being pregnant. But I am not and there is nothing I can do about it. The negatives are killing me, us. I look at my DH and as soon as we have eye contact we start crying. he is saying he is sorry all the time! but i know this is not he is fault. he is the reason why we are doing IVF but is not his fault is not working. I told him I am sorry too. I believed I could make him a daddy this time. I was so ready and anxious to say WE DID IT! but I never got the chance to say it.... We need to let go of the past, of the negatives in life and move forward. This is the only way to start believing again and the only way to survive this madness in general! I wish things would be easyer for all of us not only for me. Before my 1st ivf i had the impression that "ok, so we can't have children the natural way, we will make an ivf and we will have them"...as simple as that... Boy I was so ignorant at the moment! Its been 5ivf's so far and no babies, only BFN's. I wish it was as easy as my ignorant knowledge almost 2 years ago when we had our first ivf. Well I still believe in miracles and I am sure that IT will happen soon! I will pray that FET in May is going to bring us our miracle baby. I did some internet searching about FET and found this book "Pregnancy Miracle"...anything that will help to get me that BFP ....I have written a letter and put it in a box along with their pictures, to my 2 beautifull blasts saying goodbye and thanking them for being with me even for a little while...this is my closure for this 5th ivf...I will move on to the April/May board and hope for the best! I will be stalking both boards now, this one and the PAT one! The one I am gonna join in May!

I would like to take a moment here to THANK all of you amazing women for your heart breaking thoughts for me and your support through the good times and the bad times! especially the bad times! Your words were like medicine to my heart/soul! and I will never forget that!! You guys are the best! I am a person to person kind of person... so I want to thank you personally each and every one of you! So huge thank you to the following heroes of mine: Margi, Lou, Rio, Sunshine, Sweetpea, Kbillsy, Longtimerivf, Greekchick, Nancy, Katieb, Amanda, Tammy, Nwquiz, Kynlee, Lauren, Tess, CjinNC. You are all amazingly strong women and I admire each and everyone of you!

Margi- I was thrilled from your news my dear friend! I am Sooo happy for you! All is looking great and your little bean is perfect!...I am looking forward to hear if the peculiar sac carries twins! that would be lovely! Can't wait for Mondays u/s and sorry for commenting so late on your news! I am happy for you and that doesn't change no matter when I congratulate you! xxx

Lou- Your little beans video is the best!! ..you had me crying there girl! but those were tears from joy and overwhelmed! ...I am looking forward to see mine!

Kynlee- I am so sorry honey! there are no words enough to express my sorrow for you! Have faith and IT will happen!

Amanda- I wish all the best for your mom and may everything turns out for the best. I will pray for her and you to get over this obstacle and come out clean

Lauren- I am so happy you got that letter! Finally!...May the games begin!..

Tess- This decision is a life changing and you should think wise and measure all the prons and cons if any...I am sure whatever you decide is going to be the right thing to do!...I hope this baby is the one you've been waiting!!

Tammy- I am so glad you've started again! I am going to join you on the April-May board and I am going to cheer you on your BFP!

CjinNC- It stinks being self paid I know! I am a self paid too...We want to have a baby SO BAD we just do what we have to do...as long as there are money and if not we are going to save and make it happen. The need to have a baby is bigger than any bank account! ...I wish you raise that money and get back on the ivf rollercoaster soon!!

Katieb- I don't know what is worse....getting BFP's and then m/c or get only BFN's and not know if you are even cabable of getting pregnant!... I wish this was a bad dream and we all going to wake up any day now with our healthy babies in our arms. I am so sorry for you, for me, for Kynlee, Tammy...I can go on with the names of all the women that didn't make it so far...there are so many of us and if there's any comfort we are not alone! There are and these other women, like Margi, Rio, Lou, Leorira and I can go on with the list... List of all these amazingly strong women that DID IT! These women are the reason why I still have faith. And these women are the reason I believe in IVF. Because miracles can happen! and they will happen for us too! Soon!! Trust me!

Greekchick- I am looking forward to your BFP dear! This will be a closing BFP for the winter board! ...stop looking for signs! in most of the cases there are no preg symptoms! Hang in there! when is your beta?

Sorry if I left someone behind...I am going to stalk the board for news...

Baby dust to us all!

anton xxx

[Sunshine1576]

Anton,
I just read your sweet heartfelt letter and it brought tears to my eyes and I just want you to know you are like family to us. We only want the best for all of our IVF sistas and I know it's going to happen, if we keep on believing, because miracles DO happen and I'm going to keep on pulling for you guys.
Sending you all my love, thoughts and prayers,
Sunshine1576

[CJinNC]

Amanda... so sorry to hear about your mother, but hopefully she will get the treatment she needs and with that and your love and support she will make it through this hurdle in her life. She must make it to someday hold that beautiful child you will have. Take care.

Anton & kynlee... so sorry for your bfns and your sadness as well. This is a tough journey and sometimes a very unfair one. I pray your hearts may mend and that your hearts desire is only a few months away.

I am finding peace in my decision to quit and pray that DH and I find our way together. I can't really hold out hope for ivf or adoption at this point, as it is unrealistic for us right now, and I don't want to have anything else to obsess over. On a good note I have lost 10 pounds in the last couple of weeks... I'm the least weight I have been during this whole 3 year journey, so hopefully this is a good sign and I can continue to work toward my goal of getting healthier. DH has won us a wonderful trip through his sales goals and we are going to a gorgeous resort all expenses paid in the Dominican Republic in June, so I have that goal to look forward to.... thank you so much ladies for all of your love and support!

I guess its time for everyone to move over to a spring/summer board! I will look for it soon!

[greekchick]

anton-glad ur back with us....hope ur ok...my bloodtests is surppose to be next thur but i might go on friday im honestly dreading it i really dont wana do it i may wait for a while till my period comes???im scared ov the bfn like every lady on here..

amanda-wish u all the best with ur mum u will be in my prayers i went throught same thing with my mum so know how you feel.x

[greekchick]

hi ladies another question lol what does the progeston vaginal tablets do excatly?and how long do u normally take them for?xx

[annashope]

amanda 1979 I am so sorry about your mom. I just wanted to write and share with you that eventhough there is a lot of scary stuff on the internet about cervical cancer it is very treatable. I had stage 2 cervical cancer 2 and a half years ago and while it was very scary here I am praise God 2 1/2 years later having a baby. I will keep your mom in my prayers and I am sure she will be ok. I also wanted to suggest during my treatment the doctors had me take 2-3 thousand mg of vitamin c a day. Also DH and I researched that Echinacia and Dandelion root are very helpful in curing cervical cancer. Long story short I took all of these herbs and vitamins and even though I did have to have surgery by the time I got to the surgery I remarkably went into remission on my own and my doctors believe my recovery is nothing short of miraculous. I have to admit DH and I am are devout believers in prayer and we prayed a lot.

I hope my story gives you some hope and comfort and I will keep you and your mom in my prayers

Anna

[katieb1231]

Hi Ladies - I am here just being silent praying with you all for a wonderful outcome and sending you all the PMA I have left....I am just so down that I don't have a lot to say or articulate anywhere.....my DH told me this last 6 months has been pure hell for him (not in a bad way) he just can't stand to see me this way and feels broken & helpless poor guy I know he loves me & I love him but it is so hard to see your partner suffering and we have to be so private about it because not too many people know & we don't want to upset DD. We have our WTF appt next Friday & if we decide to do this again we want some serious changes....we are not interested in a "let's try & see what happens cycle" we want concrete evidence this has worked with other cases like mine, I know no one can give us perfect odds but the heartache is breaking me down little by little with each loss. Maybe I already had my miracle with Em & I should concentrate on that.

Please know I am here & fighting for each an every one of you to have the BFP we all deserve.....you are all strong unbelievable women who are all unbelievably deserving of this wonderful gift of motherhood.