who does the baby resemble?

[momtobeseeking]

I went to see a friend and her new baby yesterday and people could not stop talking about how much the baby looked like the parents. As I begin to commit to the idea of donor egg ivf procedures, I can't help but struggle with those questions. What do you feel and do when people want to comment on the features of the baby, when it is not related to you?
thank you.

[Dagny]

Hi there

Welcome to the site first of all.

To answer your question I think seeing resemblenses in a baby is all in the mind. I don't know how many times I have been asked who I think a friends baby resembles and it doesn't look like either and it is their baby 100%. I used to look after 3 lovely girls when I was a nanny and all 3 we completely different from eachother. People used to ask me if they were from the same family. Sometimes I used to question it and had a laugh with the mum about it - she assured me they were 100% sisters.

A lot of the time it is more to do with characteristics rather than looks and a child can pick up things you say or do and be so like you or DH in so many ways. My friend has a child though donor and it is so like the dad because of the way it acts and it's mannerisms.

I can understand your concerns as I have another friend who is considering donor eggs and is worried about what it will look like and I have to say it doesn't matter as this baby will be so loved and wanted whether it has dads eyes and mums nose.

I hope all your dreams come true.

Love Dagny xkx

[momtobeseeking]

for your reply and welcome. There are so many things to think through, and so many "what if's"....I really appreciate your response.
Warmly,
Grace

[GB]

Hi there!
I know that this is a belated answer to your question...but I gave birth to twins 12 weeks ago via egg donation IVF... a boy and a girl.
Truthfully they both look my husbands' side of the family....but my husband and I have very similar features...so sometimes they comment that certain parts of them look like me.... and I have to just ignore these comments or put them aside...
I often think about what the donor looks like and how much do my kids resemble her...but I try not to dwell on it too much..
The main thing is to enjoy them immensely until the end!
Hope this helps!
Take care and be in touch!
Gila
x-x-x

[FutureParents]

Your child conceived with the help of donor eggs may or may not resemble you in some way. People may comment on those resemblances, or may comment on the lack thereof. The thing to keep in mind is that these comments don't have any meaning beyond the obvious. If your child resembles you, she resembles you, that's not a commentary on her DNA, and there is no reason to set aside such comments as "wrong." Even people with no genetic connection may resemble each other in some manner. Similarly, if people observe that she does not look like you, that is not a comment on the relationship. It is very possible that a child made with your own eggs might not have looked much like you, and people would have made the same remarks. I think the key here is not to take it personally, or to assign importance or a deeper meaning to these observations. They are in the eye of the beholder, and have nothing to do with the use of donor eggs.

[NickiMark]

People always say ' Oh doesn't he/she look like their dad' etc.... Ive found myself saying it. It's just a conversation breaker I guess. People dont always mean it. Just talk.
Most babies never look like their parents it's usually when then get older anyway. x