Not knowing.......

[Jujubon]

Hello, I just finished my first IVF cycle , we were estatic that on our fist try we became pregnant.... We thought everything was going well until I went for my US........ Now I sit here in a trance... Let me try to explain .. My Retrievel was done March 30th ,2011. Three days later my transfer, I went for my pregnancy test two weeks after, came back with a positive results, April 20th went in for blood test my HCG level came back at1600 , which I was told were great by the NP, she then said I would need to come back on my sixth week mark for a US, which I did on May 12...... Then everything came crashing down... My Doctor took one look at the image and got her calendar out and turned and said to me ..."Your baby is not growing , it stopped growing at 6 weeks..............I just sat there dumbfounded ,not understanding the words out of her mouth, when I could finally speak, in a voice not my own ,I meekly said but I am six weeks...."NO" she said your 8 weeks!! HUH???...your LMP was 8 weeks ago..... she proceeded to give me choices: 1 come back in a week do another US, 2 let mother nature run it's course, 3: have a DC.... I chose number 1... Now I sit here in misery...not knowing, hoping , praying.... Still very confused about the dates.......Has anyone gone thru this???

[lou71]

Pregnancies are dated by your LMP or in ivf, 2 weeks prior to retrieval. So yes, you were 8 weeks on 5/12. Did your baby have a heartbeat? To be viable, it should have by this time. There are many miscarriages in both natural and ivf pregnancies. Ivf ladies are just more aware because we find out we're pregnant sooner. I lost a baby at 12 weeks and the cause, as in most cases, was a chromosome abnormality. You are not alone in your pain. I'm sorry for your loss. But keep trying! I found success with transfer #6. It was a long road but totally worth every tear. Stay strong and you will get your miracle too. You do have good news in that you had an embryo implant already.

[margi26]

So sorry for your loss. Indeed this ttc journey is very difficult. As Lou explained, the dates do go by your LMP, ir your retrieval - 2 weeks. Please know that you are not alone--early miscarriages are very common unfortunately, but still painful. I had a similar experience, although my betas were low which gave us a "clue" that there might be an issue. At 7weeks we saw a sac and yolk--but no hearbeat. We held out hope, but a week later no heart beat. We were devastated. Honestly, I didn't think I could continue our journey after an ectopic (twins) loss, and a BFN. But with a lot of processing and soul searching and support from the strong women on this board I decided to continue. 3 BFNs on IUI and one IVF cycle later I am now pregnant with twins! Take care of yourself...let yourself mourn....hold DH and dd close, and best of luck in the future.

[brit1612]

I'm so sorry to hear you are having to go through this. I wish I could say something encouraging but the truth is I have been in your position more than once. One thing I can say is that this does not mean you can not go on to have a healthy baby in the future! Unfortunalty many women go through the same situation, and most of them go on to have a baby at some point. We went through 6 cycles and 3 miscarriages before finally having our little guy, and I can say that he was worth every bit of heartache. Don't give up!

[Jujubon]

Hello.. At Margi26, thank you for your words. Congratulations and good luck with your twins!
At brit1612 also Thank You... As difficult as it is to think of nothing else right now but dark tunnel I'm walking thru, I'm a very positive person, and I look forward towards the future... I wont give up hope that Our God will bless us with a baby someday...
Once again, Thank You..

[Ghost]

Hello, I just finished my first IVF cycle , we were estatic that on our fist try we became pregnant.... We thought everything was going well until I went for my US........ Now I sit here in a trance... Let me try to explain .. My Retrievel was done March 30th ,2011. Three days later my transfer, I went for my pregnancy test two weeks after, came back with a positive results, April 20th went in for blood test my HCG level came back at1600 , which I was told were great by the NP, she then said I would need to come back on my sixth week mark for a US, which I did on May 12...... Then everything came crashing down... My Doctor took one look at the image and got her calendar out and turned and said to me ..."Your baby is not growing , it stopped growing at 6 weeks..............I just sat there dumbfounded ,not understanding the words out of her mouth, when I could finally speak, in a voice not my own ,I meekly said but I am six weeks...."NO" she said your 8 weeks!! HUH???...your LMP was 8 weeks ago..... she proceeded to give me choices: 1 come back in a week do another US, 2 let mother nature run it's course, 3: have a DC.... I chose number 1... Now I sit here in misery...not knowing, hoping , praying.... Still very confused about the dates.......Has anyone gone thru this???

Very sorry to hear this.

It's very confusing. In ancient times, the only marker they had was the last menstrual period, and the defined the start of the pregnancy. Now we have modern technology and still use the old ways. You are indeed at 8 weeks in the traditional system.

About 30% of BFPs do not result in live birth. Losses are common. And heartbreaking.