Considering your options...

[brit1612]

I have been on these infertility forums for years now and people have always been so helpful. We now have our miracle little boy, he is 16 months, but I am still hanging around these forums because we plan to try again soon and I like to think I can help people.

It seems like there has been a lot of post recently of people who have been through numerous treatments with no positives or numerous miscarriages. This is very similar to my story, that is why I want to share.

After going through 2 negative cycles, and 2 miscarriages, I happen to come across a thread about embryo donation. I had never heard of it before, but it really caught my interest considering we had male factor infertility, but I also seemed to have some unexplained issues. I began researching and realized that it was not that expensive. I talked to my hubby and before I knew it I was signing up with miracles waiting. (a site for potential donors and recipients to find each other) I paid to join for a year, at the time it was $100, placed an "ad" and within a couple of weeks I heard from a couple. We ended up meeting, this was our choice, not something everyone does, and within about 6 months of signing up we were transferring our first 2 frozen embryos. This cycle ended in another miscarriage, which my doc thinks was a fluke. But we tried again a couple months later, and was finally successful!

Of course we were unsure what it would be like to not have the bio connection, but in the end it was the best decision we ever made. I really believe that if it was not for using donor embryos we would still be trying today, or would have already given up.

I am sharing this story with you in hopes that you will consider all of your options. I know donor egg, sperm, or embryos are not for everyone, but they allow you to carry a child and have the blessing of being a mom. If you have a donor story or opinion please share on this thread. I would love to think that our stories could help people who are struggling with the decision. Thanks, and I hope this post comes across as nothing but encouragment! Good luck to everyone trying! If you would like to hear more about our story or you would like to see pics of my little miracle boy, you can visit my blog. The link is in my signature.
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[katieb1231]

Brit - I love your story, I too went through so much to bring home my DD....she is adopted and not my biological child in any way I didn't even carry her but she is SO MINE.....we actually have had a total of six miscarriages and after a few knew we just wanted to be parents and we would do anything to get there. Our first adoption found us and as it turns out our DD birth mom has gotten pregnant again and now we are adopting the second baby. I am mourning the loss of never being pregnant to term but more than anything I just want to be a Mom so my dream has been realized through adoption. If I had known about embryo adoption previous to this road we definitely would have tried that....Good luck on number two I am very excited to add another nugget to our hearts and home....

[brit1612]

Thank you soooo much for sharing about your miracle DD. That is wonderful that she will have a biological sibling to grow up with. We still have 4 frozen embryos from the same batch as our son. I would love to give him a bio sibling, we are just so worried that we can't handle it financially. We probably would have turned to adoption after our struggles, but we had already spent so much money and could not afford adoption. It is really sad to me that there are loving families that would adopt but can't afford to. Thanks again for sharing!

[fruit]

Brit - thank u for always sharing ur story and trying to help as much as u can.
if i may ask, what made u go for embryo donor? i mean did u do PGD for ur own embryos and found out they were abnormal?? do u have male factor (sperm quality issues) or bad egg quality issues??

[brit1612]

Fruit- Your welcome. We decided to move on because we felt like we were caught in a horrible cycle. We went through a negative cycle, then a miscarriage, a negative cycle, then another miscarriage. The doctor could not really explain the miscarriages and said that we could go on to have a healthy baby, or we could continue to miscarry. He felt like to embryos were not chromosomally normal. We have MF infertility, but I also don't respond well to the meds, so we never got more than about 7 fertalized eggs.

We could of kept trying IVF, but I found out about donor embryos and it just felt right. I was at a breaking point emotionally and felt like I needed to try something else. I'm sure people get to this point at different times, but the second miscarriage (after heartbeat) was just too much for me. Hope this helps. I would be glad to answer any other questions you have. Good luck to you.

[fruit]

Brit - thank u for the answer, well i was asking coz we also have MF but i respond very well to stims and my embies are always very good quality and reaches blastocyst stage at day 5 (especially that we also used sperm donor) so i was wondering if the main problem could be in the embryo itself ( i may have to do PGD to know and if it was the problem then go to embryo donor) or if it was with the endometrium receptivity (since i've never tried FET so i don't know ...)
it is really a hard road to make everytime but we have no other choice.
thanks again and i remember that i read that u r planing to try for another cycle to give ur baby a bio. sibling, so good luck and all the best.

[brit1612]

fruit- your welcome. Have you used donor sperm on all of your cycles? It sounds like you are getting great embryos, what does your RE think is the cause for not becomming pregnant? You could possibly go through an IVF cycle, freeze the embryos and then put them back when your body is in prime condition. I have heard of people doing this before, you would just need to make sure that your clinic has good freezing / thawing rates. Don't give up! Thanks for the well wishes. I would love to try again soon, just not sure when we will be financially ready.