Summer Board 2011

[fvrogers]

Well, beta results are in. BFN

[WeHaveHope]

Fvroger-honey, I am so sorry. I know there is nothing that I can say that is going to make this better. Please dint give up in your dream. I know it's difficult in this situation to even imagine that a BFP will ever happen. But it will. Please know we all love you and are here for you.

[moorebaby]

Well, beta results are in. BFN

Oh, Felicia...I'm so sorry! This is so unfair! Please do NOT give up; you WILL get your BFP! I know you are very upset; I've been there many times, but you have to keep believing & praying! (((HUGS))) Please, know we are here for you, always!

[teachergirl]

Hello to all of you. I apologize for not coming back to this board sooner. I'm really having a hard time getting over my would be transfer. I've been going to counseling and it has helped. There is just a whole new phase of worrying to come. I start back to school (I'm a first grade teacher). I was out so many days last year because of ivf and I had to tell some people at work. Teaching is not the easiest profession to be out (sub plans, kids, blah blah blah). Anyway I really do appreciate the feedback you all gave me. I am horrible on the computer. I just bought my first lap top and I'm a serious looser when it comes to technology, so please forgive my lack of skills.

Lauren319- I would love to hear your story and would really appreciate any advice you have. I just had a biopsy of my uterus done at my last apt. about a week ago. We're waiting to find out results and I'm guessing talk to the RE about our choice to move forward. I have a feeling he is going to suggest a DE. I've thought about it a lot and think if there is a chance I would love to try to use my own eggs first. I thought since all of my eggs from the last 3ivf cycles were all bad maybe they're all bad. Is this the case? It took so long to get through 3 cycles because I got a cyst. We had to wait about 3 months for it to go away. I feel like lots of time was lost there. I only get between 4-6 eggs per retrieval, so if I want to try again I think it will take about 2-3 cycles to get enough to send to genesis again. We're not made of money, but DH is a doctor and he can work extra to make enough to pay for our cycles. I really do appreciate your help!!

[LYD10]

Felcia - i am sorry for your BFN! it sucks!

Mcast - if you are ever wondering if your RE is doing the right thing the first thing i would reccomend is checking out your clinics stats on the official SART webpage. you can see how good their success rates are for your age group.

Anton - i am so sorry. your RE sounds like a really nice guy - but i would still urge you -if your situation allows it- to check out other options . I mean, so much depends on freezing techniques, the smallest details of the protocols, PICSI vs ICSI, suppliments. there is just quite a bit of variablity from clinic to clinic. does your clinic post official success rates by age group by IF issue? i dont know if there is an equivalent of SART in Cypress. i am sorry to be so pushy - but i just hate to see you suffer so much. i know how much you want this! If i was in your place (which i am not - so feel free to disregard whatever i say:) ) and i only had money for one more cycle - i would consult with the highest success rate clinic there is. the choice of clinics is very important. as a matter of fact, lets see how my cycle goes - i might consider moving myself - if this one doesnt work.

oh well - there is really no good way of dealing with this. I am frankly in the dumps myself. i even went exercising this morning - that's how little i believe in this cycle working. its just been so quiet "down there" - i have a hard time imagining a BFP after it feeling so quiet like that. teh only thing that i feel is my ovaries hurting a bit. which is weird because this was a frozen cycle! so they were not invloved. but maybe the ovaries are echoing the estrogen i am injecting. sometimes they ache when there is too much estrogen in the system. oh maybe i am going to end up with double ectopic this time! woo-hoo - wouldnt that be aweful. oy vey - i better get off before i spoil everyone's mood

BTW - someone gave me a tip on posting that never loses posts - always preview before you post - then you'll never lose it.

[Lauren319]

Teachergirl - I'm literally copying a message I sent to Madame X awhile back (sorry, Courtney!). Its been a really rough road for us and we've made some horrifying and life changing decisions. It's not a nice story and I ask that you please not judge me.

My husband and I got pregnant (I don't even know how as we've now figured out that I have a "lazy" ovary and he has low morphology or whatever). I knew that my sisters were both Tay Sachs carriers bc we're jews. My husband's not Jewish, so it shouldn't have been a problem to begin with, but we went to a genetic counselor anyway. We checked every box for them to check without even knowing what the things on the paper were.

Anyhow, it came back that I was a carrier of the premutation and that my count was high enough to obviously worry. They told me that I would need a CVS at 10-11 weeks, so I waited. At the same time my oldest sister (39 yrs old) was 8 months pregnant with her first and my other sister already has 2 boys. I asked either one of them if they had ever heard of or gotten tested for fragile x and the nightmare started. We're all carriers (from my dad) and my sister was now 8 months preggo with a baby that for all we knew was severely mentally retarded - although we knew it was a girl and possibly less affected because of this (she would have another x).

(This story is getting long)

I got my CVS - it was a girl and she was off the charts in repetitions and would definitely be affected. After sobbing, my husband and I terminated my pregnancy at 14 weeks (it took that long to get the results). This is where I ask you not to judge me. I, of course, now feel that I don't deserve to get pregnant. We weighed our options and it really came down to the hardship that any future siblings would face in taking care of a disabled sister...even though we didn't know how it would manifest given that she was a girl. I don't know that it was the right decision and will probably forever need therapy because of it.

I've done 2 IVF cycles. The first cycle was 6 eggs, all 6 fertilized, 5 of the 6 got through the single cell extraction for PGD, 3 non fragile x (all boys), 1 implanted, BFN (2 frozen boys)- The second cycle was 6 eggs, 5 fertilized, 4 made it through the extraction (all girls), 1 was definitively fragile x, 1 didn't make it to Day 5, 1 was inconclusive (and frozen), 1 transferred - chemical pregnancy.

As for your options: Doctors do not know much about fragile x yet and they certainly don't know the odds of your eggs being affected. It's super rare that all of your frozen embies would be affected, which means that the chances of that happening again are slim to none. Did they freeze them because of your cyst? I'm confused as to why they had to freeze them before getting the results. Normally (I use Reprogenetics) they extract Day 3, Test Day 4, and have results and either implant or not on Day 5. Are you storing up so that the cost is less for them to test all at once? I'm confused. I only get 6 eggs at a time, but with ICSI they almost all get fertilized. Honestly, if all of them can come back affected, they can all come back unaffected too. I say go for it. Your husband can take a vacation when all this is done

EVERYONE going through their BFN - It sucks. We've all been there. There's nothing I can say that will make it better except for that I'm rooting for every one of you. It's natural to wanna blame someone...anyone. I blamed myself...I should've exercised or not, I should've eaten more pineapple, blah blah blah. If you think that your RE has in some way done you wrong my advice would be to be proactive about it. Even if you find that everything went according to protocol, you'll feel so much better knowing that going into the next round. There is no harm in researching all of your options. It's your body and your money and your future.

Phew. Love to you all.

[Lauren319]

Teachergirl - I'm literally copying a message I sent to Madame X awhile back (sorry, Courtney!). Its been a really rough road for us and we've made some horrifying and life changing decisions. It's not a nice story and I ask that you please not judge me.

My husband and I got pregnant (I don't even know how as we've now figured out that I have a "lazy" ovary and he has low morphology or whatever). I knew that my sisters were both Tay Sachs carriers bc we're jews. My husband's not Jewish, so it shouldn't have been a problem to begin with, but we went to a genetic counselor anyway. We checked every box for them to check without even knowing what the things on the paper were.

Anyhow, it came back that I was a carrier of the premutation and that my count was high enough to obviously worry. They told me that I would need a CVS at 10-11 weeks, so I waited. At the same time my oldest sister (39 yrs old) was 8 months pregnant with her first and my other sister already has 2 boys. I asked either one of them if they had ever heard of or gotten tested for fragile x and the nightmare started. We're all carriers (from my dad) and my sister was now 8 months preggo with a baby that for all we knew was severely mentally retarded - although we knew it was a girl and possibly less affected because of this (she would have another x).

(This story is getting long)

I got my CVS - it was a girl and she was off the charts in repetitions and would definitely be affected. After sobbing, my husband and I terminated my pregnancy at 14 weeks (it took that long to get the results). This is where I ask you not to judge me. I, of course, now feel that I don't deserve to get pregnant. We weighed our options and it really came down to the hardship that any future siblings would face in taking care of a disabled sister...even though we didn't know how it would manifest given that she was a girl. I don't know that it was the right decision and will probably forever need therapy because of it.

I've done 2 IVF cycles. The first cycle was 6 eggs, all 6 fertilized, 5 of the 6 got through the single cell extraction for PGD, 3 non fragile x (all boys), 1 implanted, BFN (2 frozen boys)- The second cycle was 6 eggs, 5 fertilized, 4 made it through the extraction (all girls), 1 was definitively fragile x, 1 didn't make it to Day 5, 1 was inconclusive (and frozen), 1 transferred - chemical pregnancy.

As for your options: Doctors do not know much about fragile x yet and they certainly don't know the odds of your eggs being affected. It's super rare that all of your frozen embies would be affected, which means that the chances of that happening again are slim to none. Did they freeze them because of your cyst? I'm confused as to why they had to freeze them before getting the results. Normally (I use Reprogenetics) they extract Day 3, Test Day 4, and have results and either implant or not on Day 5. Are you storing up so that the cost is less for them to test all at once? I'm confused. I only get 6 eggs at a time, but with ICSI they almost all get fertilized. Honestly, if all of them can come back affected, they can all come back unaffected too. I say go for it. Your husband can take a vacation when all this is done

EVERYONE going through their BFN - It sucks. We've all been there. There's nothing I can say that will make it better except for that I'm rooting for every one of you. It's natural to wanna blame someone...anyone. I blamed myself...I should've exercised or not, I should've eaten more pineapple, blah blah blah. If you think that your RE has in some way done you wrong my advice would be to be proactive about it. Even if you find that everything went according to protocol, you'll feel so much better knowing that going into the next round. There is no harm in researching all of your options. It's your body and your money and your future.

Phew. Love to you all.

[WeHaveHope]

I am now having heavy bright red bleeding. I am so overwhelmed with sadness. Nothing i can do. Going home early from work. They will repeat Beta tomorrow instead of Friday. Everything was going so well. What has happened???

[LYD10]

I am now having heavy bright red bleeding. I am so overwhelmed with sadness. Nothing i can do. Going home early from work. They will repeat Beta tomorrow instead of Friday. Everything was going so well. What has happened???

We - dont worry - lots of people bleed during ivf pregnancies. i bled right around this time. you can have a what they call CH ( subchorionic hematoma - just means you have a small bleed area i the uterus). lots of people had it here on these boards. they'll probably put you on bedrest. i was on home/bedrest for a week. and it slowely went away. dont worry - you have very strong beta - i am sure you'll be OK.

[easley4]

fvrogers~ oh hon, I am so sorry. We are here for you anytime. Again, I am just so sorry.

WeHaveHope~Bleeding is very common, don't loose hope! Just stay off your feet and take it easy. Praying for you!!!!

[WeHaveHope]

I went home early from work after the bleeding started. I was having some lower abdominal discomfort maybe cramping not sure and lower back pain. I went to the bathroom and the bleeding continued and then I noticed two blood clots that came out. I feel so absolutely devastated and hopeless. My God, why? I am not feeling optimistic. I realy want to believe that this is nothing to worry bout bit I can't stop crying

[Lauren]

We-I am so sorry this is happening but try to think that this can happen to many people and it can still be a healthy pregnancy! I know easier said than done. Put your feet up drink fluids and rest! Keep us posted...thinking of you!

AFM-I am down in the dumps! All these BFN's have really made me worry. I feel so awful for everyone and it brings back so many memories of my past cycles and BFN.. I POAS and of course it was negative....told DH and he remains so positive and im so negative that we have a little fight and he's pissed at me. He said he hates the way I am and how negative i am...I told him WHATEVER when you go thru what my body goes thru than you can have a say...I know not so nice huh? He acts like he's helping me but really he just stays out of my way like im a crazy nut job and pisses me off more! Sorry girls...need to vent! I think I just need to go back to work asap being home is not helping my mental helath! I dont sleep well and when I do I wake up from these dreams...crazy ones and my heart is palpitating! these meds really mess with us huh? IDK Im gonna go to store and do some shopping maybe put a smile on my face...xoxo

[deftonesmo]

Lauren . . . your ticker says 5 days til beta . . . so you are 6dp3dt? Too soon! Way to soon to POAS! Your little embie probably hasn't even implanted yet! I got my first BFP on a HPT at 7dp3dt and it seemed like I needed a microscope to see it! I was convinced it was the evaporation line! It got a tad darker at 8dp3dt and then I was convinced at 9dp3dt . . . even that is soon! I know of women who got a negative HPT on the day of their beta and then got a BFP from the Beta! Hang in there! Retail therapy is awesome

[deftonesmo]

PS The progesterone will make you very moody and create wild mood swings . . . just tell DH about the progesterone side effects and tell him to hold on to his hat once you are preggo . . . he ain't seen nothing yet!

[Wishingandhoping]

Quick post...at work on my phone
Wehavehope- I had a very similar bleed during my last pregnancy. It ended up being from my cervix from suppositories. I met my RE at the clinic that night and ultrasound showed the sac, yolk, etc. The cervix is very friable during pregnancy, and with suppositories or crinone if you bump it, it will bleed heavily. I soaked a pad every 5 minutes for 2 hours. Anyway, stay positive and don't lose hope! Praying for you!