Due Winter 2012

[BlissfulCS]

WHH: I know it is easier said than done, but do try to not worry so much. I know its so hard!!! But its better for the baby if you are still pregnant (and you very well may be). Most importantly though, its better for you and DH. Whatever happens, this will get better. I felt like giving up after my last BFN even though I had 4 frosties. Thats when we started looking into adoption. I only went through the last cycle because I didn't want to discard the embryos. Fast forward and I am 15 weeks pregnant. Stay positive.

Mora- I will set up the new board Saturday. In the meantime, CONGRATS on an uneventful check-up. It sounds like everything is going beautifully.

Answer of the Week:

The most obnoxious thing in my pregnancy this far is this one woman who is trying to convince me to stay at home after I have the baby. She is a stay at home Mom, which I really respect. However what I don't like is that she is trying to force it on me. I love my job and want to work, but even if I didn't I have to to keep up the lifestyle we have and I enjoy. She isn't the only one either. A lot of DH's friends have wives that stay at home, and they all kind of assume I will too. Its really weird...and of course some of the older women in the family can't believe I am going back to work. I have a lot of very conservative friends and family members, but what drives me nuts is that anyone who knows me and loves me knows that I have to work. Its in my DNA...and it won't make me less of a Mom. I know it will be hard, but I am also confident I can do it.

[BlissfulCS]

Its funny that people think they can say anything to you once you're pregnant. Especially older people. I get.......
"Twins, do they run in your family?"\
"Well, what took yall so long, didnt think you would ever have a baby!"
"You look like a different person from the waist down, since you're getting so wide now"
"Wow, you are carrying those babies in your hips"

I tell my husband these comments and we just chuckle!

lol- I cant believe anyone said that about getting wide. How rude!!!

[LYD10]

WHH: I know it is easier said than done, but do try to not worry so much. I know its so hard!!! But its better for the baby if you are still pregnant (and you very well may be). Most importantly though, its better for you and DH. Whatever happens, this will get better. I felt like giving up after my last BFN even though I had 4 frosties. Thats when we started looking into adoption. I only went through the last cycle because I didn't want to discard the embryos. Fast forward and I am 15 weeks pregnant. Stay positive.

Mora- I will set up the new board Saturday. In the meantime, CONGRATS on an uneventful check-up. It sounds like everything is going beautifully.

Answer of the Week:

The most obnoxious thing in my pregnancy this far is this one woman who is trying to convince me to stay at home after I have the baby. She is a stay at home Mom, which I really respect. However what I don't like is that she is trying to force it on me. I love my job and want to work, but even if I didn't I have to to keep up the lifestyle we have and I enjoy. She isn't the only one either. A lot of DH's friends have wives that stay at home, and they all kind of assume I will too. Its really weird...and of course some of the older women in the family can't believe I am going back to work. I have a lot of very conservative friends and family members, but what drives me nuts is that anyone who knows me and loves me knows that I have to work. Its in my DNA...and it won't make me less of a Mom. I know it will be hard, but I am also confident I can do it.

Hi Bliss - i also went through a phase of feeling guilty - i should be home with the baby, etc, etc. But actually its best for my DS this way - this day care lady we sent him to loves him so much and has so much patience and joy. she plays with him nonstop! i simply wouldnt be able to keep up. he looks forward to going there and it makes me feel so good. she is like a grandma to him. and also this woman is so knowlegeable - she's done this before many times - that i rely on her for guidance and advice. just as long as you find someone really good to take care of your baby - your heart and your mind will be at ease.

[WeHaveHope]

Good morning my dear friends,
First, thank you for all of you support, kind words, and prayers. I feel ever so slightly better today. At the very least I haven't started to cry yet so u guess that is a step in the right direction. I am scheduled to have another Beta today at 8am EST. One again I will have to wait until 2pm or 2:30pm for the dreaded call. The wait is awful. I am going to go in yo work today. Staying home is not goin to help me or change any results. I ask that you please say a small prayer for us. A prayer for a small miricle an if the miricle I'd not possible then strength yo move forward. I love you all and I am praying for each and everyone one of you. Tha k you again for everything.

[WeHaveHope]

Beta down even further to 712
Nurse was the one who called so stl waiting for my RE to call with instructions. I am devastated but I've cried all my tears in the last two days. I have no more tears in me now.

[deftonesmo]

Hope: I'm so sorry. So unfair

[WeHaveHope]

My dearest friends,
First of all I want to thank each and everyone of you ladies for being there for me through my darkest hours. The last 48 hours have been a rollercoaster unlike any other. I went from feeling at my highest thinking I was carrying twins to most likely loosing both. I will keep this a bit short as I am exhausted from these past few days. Not physically but emotionally and mentally exhausted. I went today for the repeat Beta and unfortunately it had gone down to the 700's. My RE and i discussed it and i will continue on my meds until Monday. This way we can feel comfertable that we did not stop the meds too early. Unfortunately, I know in my heart that the Beta will be lower on Monday meaning that I did in fact have a miscarriage of both.  My RE is certain that both embabies attached because of the elevated Beta levels. My RE is baffled as we are as we are. With a first Beta of 275 and then a second Beta of 1,513 we were sure that all was progressing. But we were wrong. My RE is not optimistic at this point. He does not believe that this is going to turn around and end in a viable pregnancy. And I agree. I felt pregnant the last two weeks. I know it's weird but I did. I no longer feel pregnant. And when I saw the two little clots I knew my pregnancy had come to an early end. I have cried nonstop the last two days. This felt like we were so close to bringing home that baby or babies we have longed for such a long time. We have decided to continue the meds until Monday. I will go in for one more Beta. If the result is what I know and feel in my heart it is going to be then we are at the end of this road. For the first time today I was able to ask questions and think about moving forward.  My RE explained that we will have to wait until my Hcg levels go back to zero and that nay take several weeks.  Then AF will presumably come and we can start the process all over again. We talked about progesterone and the vaginal suppositories and I have requested to increase to three or four suppositories per day instead of two. Maybe it was the progesterone levels. Maybe it was something else but we will never know. Hoping and praying that my babies stay with me for 9 months next time. We so much desire this. 
I don't know if any of you believe in spirits but I will share with you a story. I few years ago I woke up in the middle of the night to find a glowing white figure flying over my bed. You would think that I would have been terrified out of my mind but I was not. There was something very soothing and familiar about this light. The next day I received a phone call that a very good friend of mine had been killed the night before about the same time that I had my experience. My friend had been talking about leaving her husband for years and that night was like many nights were she was planning on leaving again. This time her husband became infuriated and shot her in the head twice from behind with her two small children in the house. I believe that she came to visit me that night. She was such a gentle sprit and that is exactly what I felt that night. I tell you this because my miscarriage was on Wednesday. On Tueday morning I told my husband that on Monday night I had felt someone kiss my cheek gently in the middle of the night. Again something that would ordinarily scare someone did not scare me. I felt like it was very gentle and loving. On Tuesday night or early Wednesay morning I woke up to a male and female figure in my bedroom. I was not frightened it was calming in every sense. They did not stay long and then visited me once more before the sun came up.  I tell you this because I believe that these were angles coming to take care of my two little angles. No one can tell me any different. I believe they visited me so that I would feel a sense of peace in my heart that my little ones were going to be taken care of. I never met them, never even felt them, but loved them with every fiber of my being and always will.

[BlissfulCS]

Hey ladies- its all set. Here is the link to our new board. I think it will be fun to have more mommies to be join us throughout the year.

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=24051

[WeHaveHope]

My dearest friends,
I am on my iPhone so I will try an do personals a but later. Just wanted to let you know that, as I thought, the Beta came back even lower at 428 today. I sm officially at the end of this road and will stop all my meds today. May my little ones rest peacefully in the glory of God and the angles who visited me to let me know they were going to be safe.

I want to thank each and everyone of you for showing mr so much love and support. Thank you for always keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I love you all more than any words I can ever post on this board. I am eternally greatfull.

For those of you going through difficult times, don't give up hope. Stay focused in your dreams. Have faith that this difficult journey will lead to where it needs to lead each and everyone of us. It's not an easy journey, but I haven't given up and neither should you. My next cycle will hopefuly, God willing be sometime in October. I'll give you all more details later but I am thinking that maybe I should start a "Fall Cycle" board. Only thinking about it right now. We will see. I am officially leaving this board but will check on each and everyone if you from time to time.

Sending you all much love.