Summer Board 2011

[Lauren319]

Hi all,

I would post personals, but I'm in a serious dark hole and can't get out. To top it all off my stomach is super bruised and sore just to remind me what I've been through and what I don't have.

Anyhow, for those asking, I won't be doing an FET because my body is too stressed to waste an embryo on an FET. The nice thing about doing frozen is that you don't have to put your body through all of this first, so we're saving our boys for later.

The only thing I can hope for now is to get my AF with no cysts in 2 weeks and then start BCP's to do this all over again. I'm in tears just thinking about it. The thought even crossed my mind to try and conceive naturally now that I'm ovulating, but the thought of having to terminate a pregnancy because I don't want a child with fragile x again is disgusting to me. Mainly because I'm disgusted with myself for doing it the first time.

My emotions are running so deep lately. The sadness of not having a child is one thing, but I've now compounded it with a serious guilt for what I have to put my husband through. My heart aches for him. It's amazing what 2 years can do to somebody. All it took was for a genetic counselor to say, "you're a carrier of fragile x," and my entire life came crashing down. I have clearly not moved passed the emotion of what's happened to me and the decisions I've made and I don't know that I ever will. This is the hardest time in my life and I'm starting to think I'm not equipped to deal with it.

Thank you for all your words and thoughts. It means more than you know.

I'm just so sad.

[LYD10]

Lauren, I am so sorry. You sound so sad. I wish I could make you feel better. I just hope that your FET works and you will be pregnant with 2 boys!!!

[Sunshine1576]

Lauren,
Sometimes we have to take a much needed break but it doesn't mean we are letting go. All the injections with fertility meds take a major toll on our bodies and play so much with our hormones and emotions. We understand the rollercoaster with IVFs but we also are very strong and make these sacrifices to giving it our all, perhaps patience is the hardest part. We have to remind ourselves that the best thing about a FET cycle is LESS meds and it will be alot better in so many ways. I know it's challenging at times, but we must keep going for the biggest chance in fullfilling our dream. Each cycle brings us new hope, but right now focus on the most important thing which is spending time with dh... Maybe plan a weekend get-away or even a picnic at the local park, anything you enjoy doing together.

[WeHaveHope]

Lauren319-oh, honey I am so sorry. I know this seems so unfair. I agree with Sunshine, the waiting and the unknown are probably the most difficult parts of this journey. My heart aches for you. And, I wish there was something I could do or say to make it all go away. What I can tell you is that time does heal and then sheds light onto new opportunities. Don't ever doubt how strong you are. It's easy to do that when you are in this type of situation, but don't let that feeling take over. Keep telling yourself that you are strong. No one in this board thinks that you are weak. Quite the contrary! I know you don't pray but I will be praying for you. No one is judging you and God is all forgiving. I used to think sometimes that I was being punished for sure for all the wrong things ive done. I though I must have done something really wrong and that is why I am going through this. Sometimes in my darkest moments that feeling creeps in but i know better. Please don't be hard on yourself. Allow yourself to greive and you will then be ready to get back on track. Remember you are strong. Don't ever give up. We were chosen to take this journey because we are special women and strong. God never gives us more than we can handle. Have faith, sweetheart, you will be a mommy. There is a journey that we all must travel and you will make it and your dreams will be fulfilled. Please kmow that we ate all here for you and love you. Sending you the biggest long distance hug ever.

[Ninde]

Lauren: I'm sorry things have been so difficult and that your endocronologist missed what he/she did. You went through a huge amount with the gastric sleeve and it was very courageous of you to do it and shows just how much you wanted a baby. Its awful
you have had to go through finding out about the effects of hypothyroidism on your own without anyone monitoring you.

Lauren319: my heart absolutely goes out to you. You cant ever be equipped to deal with all thepain and shock of all of this. Forgive if I'm stepping out of line but it sounds like you feel guilty for "putting " your husband through this. But try not to, none of this is your fault, and I really hope you can find some compassion for yourself because this is so hard.

I'm keeping you both in my thoughts

Ninde

[22yearslater]

Excited for tomorrow to get here. It's BETA day I have been POAS since Monday 7dp3dt and the line just keeps on getting darker. Can't believe I haven't gone completely batty in the 2ww!

[riogirl71]

sunshine1576 - love your ticker picture, great color hair - like sunshine

[WeHaveHope]

Excited for tomorrow to get here. It's BETA day I have been POAS since Monday 7dp3dt and the line just keeps on getting darker. Can't believe I haven't gone completely batty in the 2ww!

Very excited for you. Can't wait to hear about your great Beta tomorrow. Best of luck.

[WeHaveHope]

Dear friends,
Thank you all for your continued support and PMA. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Sending you all xoxoxo

[WeHaveHope]

Lauren319-thinking of you. Sending you all my love.

[Ninde]

22 years later : good luck today!!
Ninde

[moorebaby]

22yearslater- Congrats on the BFP since Monday...that's great! I can't wait to hear today's BETA results!

Lauren319- I'm so sorry! I feel so awful for what you are going through. Don't ever think it is your fault...it absolutely isn't! Also, whatever you had to do in the past was what you had to do at the time. It was the right choice for you & please do not regret it. I don't think anyone can say what they would do or not do if they were in that situation. What does DH say? Please tell me he is not putting any blame on you! Oh, & forget his mother...she obviously has no empathy & is very selfish! I don't know how you feel about it, but maybe you can talk to a professional...sometimes talking to a complete stranger, someone who know nothing about you can help you sort things out. Please know we are here for you! I think your decision to let your body heal & rest & then do an FET is a really good one & I'll be cheering you on when you're ready. (((HUGS))) Thank you for the congrats!

Margi- You're almost at 30 weeks...woohoo!!!

LauraN- Congrats on the weight loss!!! Your argument is completely valid & I would be very upset if that was me. Have you mentioned this to your RE? I really hope you & DH are able to come up w/ the funds for another cycle & your levels come down soon!

Lou- Thanks girl! I will be ecstatic w/ 1, but 2 would be a pleasant & welcoming surprise! I can't belive you will be meeting Chloe really soon!

Ninde- I've been a little more tired also. But it could be that school started for me this past Tuesday & teachers have to be in by 7:30. I can't wait to hear your u/s results & to find out how many are in there...so exciting!

MadameX- Congrats on being PUPO! I hear you about being back in school & being exhausted b/c of it! Don't worry about being so busy...it will help the time until your BETA go by much faster! Thank you for the congrats! Are you going to POAS?

Wishingandhoping- Thank you! How was your u/s on Thursday? How are you feeling?

Lydia- Thank you! I'm glad I can help. I'm confused though...why will you be doing an FET in December? Aren't you doing a fresh cycle in November?

Lauren- Thank you! WTH is wrong w/ your clinic? That is really awful...just everything they put you through! They are do distasteful! If there's a place you can report them, I would do it. I absolutely think you need to switch clinics. Suggestions for you? Hmm...is DH on vitamins?

WeHaveHope- Thanks! Woohoo for being done w/ BCPs! Keep us posted on whether you end up needing a D&C. I hope you don't though. The 30th is so close!

Chris- Thanks! Twinkies...how cute, lol! I can't believe you'll be holding your son in your arms soon!

fruit- Thank you! How are you doing?

anton- Thank you so much! You're so sweet!

Christy- Thanks! I love your pic...very nice!

Rio- Thanks!

SDtryingagain- Thank you very much! You'll be meeting your LO so soon...yay!

Leora- Thank you so very much! I just want you to know I think of you often & pray that you get to bring home your rainbow baby soon! You are a strong & inspirational woman!

longtimerivf- Thanks! How are things w/ you?

Felicia- Great to hear from you! Thank you! I see you're planning for an FET in October...I will be praying that everything goes right & you get your BFP!

AFM- Well, I'm doing ok. School started on Tuesday & I have been so busy & tired. Tired actually is an understatement...exhausted is more like it! I like all of my classes....the kids are great (so far that is). We'll see how they are when they actually have to do some work, lol! I have really no major symptoms. I've been tired, but again I'm sure it could be the adjustment to my new school schedule. My sense of smell is a little different....sometimes things smell really weird & gross to me & really strong. My boobs are a little tender. I've had a very minor amount of nausea...just here & there. DH is being very calm & quiet about everything. I think he just doesn't want to get so overly excited & then be crushed, which I totally understand b/c I'm the exact way. I talk to my babies & rub my belly & kiss the picture of them I was given at my ET & tell them they're beautiful & handsome...I secretly think 1 is a boy & 1 is a girl, lol! I'm such a dork! So, the u/s is scheduled for Tuesday at 3. I'm not sure what to expect. Anyone know? Will I see a heatbeat or will it be too early? I will be 5w6d.

[moorebaby]

UPDATE NEEDED…

-tuffy4u- ER on 7.20/ET on 7.25/BETA on 8.3




-kerpupples- deciding between IUI w/ DS or another IVF
-blueeyedreamer- AF due around 8.1/then 5 weeks of BCPs/then 2 weeks of Estrogen patches/will be doing an FET at the end of September
-Yasmina710-
-Kiminsh- RE appointment on 8.16 to discuss endometrial biopsy done on 8.4
-miyaya- start mid-August after AF arrives
-kbillsy- IVF w/ DE in late August or beginning of September
-amanda1979 (Amanda)- had ER on 7.26/froze 5 embabies & have 2 frozen donor embabies/FET in October
-mcast- appointment w/ RE on 8.4/fresh cycle in the fall
-teachergirl (Krissy)-
-akdelp (Kerri)- waiting for AF (hopefully by the end of August) & cycling in the fall
-BrandyB- waiting for AF & then IUI
-fvrogers (Felicia)- appointment w/ RE on 8.16
-WeHaveHope- FET tentatively scheduled for week of 9.26
-anton- fresh cycle in October
-Lauren319- taking a break & will be doing an FET in the future










-22yearslater- ER on 8.26/ET on 8.29/BFP on HPT on 9.5!!!/BETA on 9.10
-mandarae- ER on 8.27/ET on 8.30/BETA on 9.10
-MadameX- ER on 8.31/ET on 9.5/BETA on 9.16

RESULTS


-sunshine.12- BETAS: #1- 61, #2- 151
-NancyB (Nancy)- FET on 5.31/BETAS on 6.13- 465, on 6.15- 1,160, on 6.17- 2,656
-RMB- BETAS on 6.15- 143, on 6.17- 671, on 6.20- 1,808
-Alleykittie
-Dreams2009- ER on 6.14/ET on 6.19/BETAS on 7.1- 248, on 7.5- 772, on 7.8- 2,253
-easley4- ET on 6.25/BFP on HPT on 6.30!!!/BETAS on 7.5- 88, on 7.7- 220
-Kbanks- ET on 6.27/BFP on HPT on 7.3!!!/BETAS on 7.5- 151, on 7.7- 351
-JerseyGirl- FET on 6.30/BETAS on 7.9- 79, on 7.11- 135, on 7.18- 1,556
-longtimerivf- FET on 7.8/BFP on HPT on 7.16/BETAS on 7.19- 428, on 7.21- 866, on 7.25- 2,549
-Wishingandhoping- FET on 7.21/BFP on HPT on 7.26!!!/BETAS on 8.1- 980, on 8.4- 2,565, on 8.8- 9,964
-Prayersnpies- ER on 7.26/ET on 7.28/BETAS on 8.9- 117, on 8.12- “everything looks great”
-nicksgam- ER on 8.9/ET on 8.12/BFP on HPT on 8.19!!!/BETAS on 8.22- 103, on 8.24- 216.8
-moorebaby (Ester)- ER on 8.17/ET on 8.22/BETAS on 8.31- 151, on 9.2- 380, on 9.4- 948, on 9.6- 3,646
-Ninde- ER on 8.16/ET on 8.18/BETA on 9.1- 545

Wishing you on your journey

-blueeyedreamer
-WndrGrl
-tryn4#2
-BrandyB
-fruit
-anton
-fvrogers (Felicia)
-Lauren
-MaTina LI (Tina)
-Sunshine1576 (Christy)
-LYD10 (Lydia)
-LauraN



-akdelp (Kerri)
-WeHaveHope
-Alwaysangel

[mandarae]

Hi ladies-

I've been MIA because I havent felt very positive and didnt want to share that negativity. Anyway, I went for my beta today at 11dp3dt and it was only 38.6. I was afraid of that. I either wanted a definite positive or definite negative (I soo need a glass of wine or two) not somewhere in between grrrr. I go back on Monday and am praying that I have some doubling! This whole process is EXHAUSTING.

Moorebaby- congrats on the continued great betas!!!!

22 years- good luck with your beta today!

Lauren319- So sorry that your cycle was cancelled. That sucks

Madame- You're next. Keeping my fingers crossed for ya!
Everyone else have a great weekend.

[riogirl71]

mandarae - with DS at 10dp3dt my beta was 33 he is here and healthy! sendiing you doubling prayers!