Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[WeHaveHope]

Dear friends,

I am asking for prayers. I had to do today the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I had to pick up my dear son early from school today and tell him that his father passed away last night in a motorcycle accident. I am so heartbroken. I have done everything in my power to shelter my son from pain. I've done everything possible to have my son have a loving relationship with his father. Now I find myself with no power, no control over taking this horrible pain away. I would give up anything right now to take the pain my son is feeling away from him. Please pray for us and pray for his father. May God take him in to heaven and in all his glory. He is in heaven now.

[blessed143]

We- I am so so sorry. I will keep your son and you in my prayers. Thinking of you and your family...

[kerpupples]

Samantha & Julia - really hoping you got a false negative from your HPTs. I've heard SO many stories of spotting with BFPs, both in IVF and non-IVF pregnancies. Don't let that on its own get you down!

Jayne - I'm jealous of the scuba diving in Tahiti! But holy smokes, $20 for a beer! And I thought Hawaii was expensive. DH and I both started diving a couple of years ago and are hooked. I HIGHLY recommend Cano Island off Costa Rica if you have not been there already. We were lucky enough to see a whale shark there. Keep working on DH with the idea of donor eggs if that's something you are seriously interested in. We didn't end up going that route but I Know that DH was open to considering a donor sperm insemination for this round.

Christy - so sad to hear of your BFN but inspired to read that you are not giving up hope. I seem to be having a charmed cycle so far this go-round but I still recall all too well the pain of 3 failed cycles before DD. I didn't give up then and am glad to see that you are not now. Love the pic of you with your neigbhor on her birthday. Kids are so much fun.

Leora - Seriously, what is up with the depression taboo that's going on right now? The key word is CONTROLLED. At my last job the insurance company went through an inquisition with me because I had been on antidepressants. I guess they prefer you to be unmedicated? My uncle is depressed and unmedicated, and he is batshit loony but would probably qualify for adoption under those rules. I wish you much luck with that adoption appeal, and sending thoughts of a thick fluffy lining this week!

Blue - Sooooo sorry to read of your u/s results. It feels like we've gotten over that last hurdle and then that gets thrown at us. The silver lining is that you know that you can get pregnant. I know it's not much consolation for you now, but I suspect it will be in the future.

Ninde - Doing very well, just a sick household again over the weekend.

Bodie - how are those twins doing?

Lots of love and warm thoughts to everyone else.

AFM - good news, AF is here today! I really wasn't expecting it until Thursday. With all those eggs I'm sure this is going to be a gusher. I'm anxious to see what my FET calendar is going to look like. DH and I have discussed transferring one or two since ideally we only want one more child. We both agree that two babies will be better than a BFN though, so two it will be. If we are fortunate enough to conceive and have frosties left over, we'll probably be donating them to another couple.

[kerpupples]

Maria - God bless your son's father and watch over all of you in this time of mourning.

[blessed143]

46.................... on the low side of positive. im not sure how i feel................

[LauraN]

We- I am so sorry! I will keep you, your son and family in my prayers!

Blessed- ok, so that is low, but not bad low. From what I understand, what matters is the doubling.... when is your next beta?

[blessed143]

my re nurse did not sound really optimistic with the numbers. DH not answering and all i want to do is cry. Im so upset. I just pray that the numbers rise. I guess... who knows at this point. oh well... I think I just went numb. I am sorry for being so petty. It seems like there is so much bigger hurt on this board and i am moaning about something stupid. please forgive me and I dont mean to be insensitive at all... I was really hoping for big numbers. i just dont know what to think.. I go back on Wednesday for another beta

[Julia73]

Blessed my clinic said they would count anything over a 2. Hope is not lost honey. Its ok. Do not give up. He's got this and you.

[Julia73]

We- definite prayers for u and ds. I'm so sorry for the loss. I hope ds is not having too terribly rough a go of it.

Kerpupples-thank u. My nurse calmed me a lot. Plus I urinate so much thru the night I can't trust the sample or the test for that matter.

We elected to have the results put on our voicemail box so I am stalking it. I hope they can't see how many times I'm calling.

[rosie84]

Blessed - Sending so many good vibes your way in the final leg of your wait! I know these waits are so incredibly nerve-wracking.

Julia - What a rollercoaster you've been on. I am thinking of you and praying that you get a happy outcome.

Sunshine - Good luck today with your conference call! I hope it is productive and all goes well. It sounds like you guys are moving right into planning ahead for the coming cycles, which I know always makes me feel better…having a plan feels good

fruit - Looking forward to following your cycle this winter - good luck!

Leora - I have still been drinking my one cup of morning coffee a day I asked my previous RE about it, and he said he thought one cup a day was really fine. It makes my day so much better! I gotta email you back…

blue - So sorry to hear about the car, and more importantly, about your bad news:( I haven't gotten a chance to post the past few days, but you've been in my thoughts a lot. Big hugs to you.

We - Good luck today - I hope all goes well.

Ninde - Sending lots of AF vibes your way! Are you sore today? I could really use a good workout myself:) I am ok - thanks for asking - incredibly anxious but hanging in there.

Samantha - Lots of good vibes for great news today! I am thinking of you.

Amanda - Big hugs to you. I am sorry you are so blue. Those feelings are so familiar to me and probably to lots of others here…it is so difficult not feel betrayed by our bodies during this horrible process.

AFM - A year ago today I had the fateful ultrasound that showed our baby didn't have a heartbeat (our first and only pregnancy to date, which was the result of our 2nd IUI). The following day, November 15, I was admitted to the hospital for cytotec. I have been replaying last November 14 in my mind over and over again today - how naive and oblivious I was then when I went in for that ultrasound. I remember how the doctors kept trying to put a positive spin on it - that it meant I could get pregnant, that it meant IUI was effective for us, and that it meant I would be pregnant again in no time. Ha - 4 IUIs and 4 IVF transfers later, that false reassurance seems like a cruel joke and I know quite a few here have been through much worse.

I am doing okay. Today I am 5dp5dt. I tend to have selective amnesia, in that when I am not deep in the throes of the 2ww, I forget how emotionally difficult this part of the cycle is - I focus so much on the physical aspects that dictate the first half of any treatment cycle, I gloss over the emotional torture that is the final leg of the 2ww. I am trying to hang on to a sliver of hope that this cycle could have a happy ending, but I am too jaded to be very hopeful and I think it is a defense mechanism that I always prepare myself for failure. I keep trying to will myself to feel something - cramps, twinges, a sign to indicate that something is going on. Then if I do feel something, I am convinced I must be imagining it, so in short, I am truly out of my mind

[WeHaveHope]

I reposted this so that it wouldn't get lost in all the other posts. Please, please, pray for us, my dear 12 year old son who is absolutely devastated, and for his father's soul so he can be reunited in heaven with loved-ones.

Dear friends,

I am asking for prayers. I had to do today the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I had to pick up my dear son early from school today and tell him that his father passed away last night in a motorcycle accident. I am so heartbroken. I have done everything in my power to shelter my son from pain. I've done everything possible to have my son have a loving relationship with his father. Now I find myself with no power, no control over taking this horrible pain away. I would give up anything right now to take the pain my son is feeling away from him. Please pray for us and pray for his father. May God take him in to heaven and in all his glory. He is in heaven now.

[Gina1976]

We- oh my goodness!! I'm so sorry! Prayers for all of you! It's so hard telling kids things like that. I can't imagine. Also praying for his Dad.

[Gina1976]

Blessed- Praying for you and your little one. Hang in there!! Praying your numbers will continue to go up!!

[rosie84]

We - I am so, so sorry for your horrible news. You, your son, and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers. ((((hugs))))

[rosie84]

Blessed - Many prayers to you that the numbers go UP UP UP. I know how agonizing this wait is. Thinking lots of positive thoughts for you.