Opinions on being pregnant after infertility.

[indigofire]

Hello lovely ladies,

I hope you don't mind me crashing here, but I'm doing a project for school and I would love your opinions. If you're not interested, please feel free to pass on by.

I am currently a student midwife and I have been on the fertility roller coaster for over 15 years now. It's one of the ironies in life, what I am super passionate about (pregnancy and birth) I haven't been able to do yet myself. But I love helping women through the amazing transformation into motherhood. I am working with a counsellor at an infertility clinic and a midwife who specializes in caring for women who have become pregnant after ART's. We are creating a workshop series to work with women who have gotten pregnant on their options in early pregnancy, what to expect that may be different than other people who get pregnant the old fashioned way, and how to help them get to a point where they may be able to enjoy the pregnancy instead of being in constant fear. Not sure if that last one is possible, but we're going to try.

My question for you ladies who have been there and are currently pregnant, is what, if anything, would you like to have known when you first got pregnant that would have helped you in your pregnancy journey? It could be anything from specifics about being pregnant or warnings of the emtional roller coaster, or things that came up that you weren't expecting.

I would love any and all input. Please feel free to reply here, or send me a private message. Thank you in advance!

Indigo.

[Happy Bunny]

I've never been pregnant naturally so I'm unsure if what I felt was different from or the same as what naturally pregnant women feel.

I did feel as if I was constantly preparing myself for bad news or loss even though there were no logical signs that it would happen. I'm pretty sure that was due to a long and unpleasant relationship with infertility.

I felt a lot of interest in my lab results... During the IVF, I was used to getting a lot of specific information about what was going on (follicle counts, daily calls about embryos, beta results, etc). I found myself expecting the same from my OB. I wanted to know everything about every test (my result, the normal range of results and the min/max ranges for the test).

Another possible difference was that I used to seeing the RE a lot. When I transferred to the OB, my appointments seemed sooooooooo far apart in the beginning of pregnancy when I was most insecure.

[dogzrule]

I too felt "spoiled" by the constant visits and monitoring by my RE. It made transitioning into the world of "regular" pregnant women very nerve-wracking because I was convinced something was going to go wrong. And I'm lucky because my OB does an ultrasound at every visit, so every 4 weeks I get to actually see that everything is ok! We were fortunate that we got pregnant on our first try with IVF after 11 years of failing to ever get pregnant (and that included two failed IUI's much earlier in our marriage after trying unsuccessfully for 2 years at that point to get pregnant on our own. We eventually gave up but decided to give ivf ONE try all those years later.). I guess what I would want is for someone to have told me about how to transition from being an IVF patient to a "regular" pregnant woman and what to expect AND not expect.

[tuffy4u]

Indigo, good to hear from you. I was very excited to hear about your DE. What a blessing. Good luck with the transfer.

In answer to your question, I've been pregnant every possible way. Once through IUI once naturally and now through IVF. I definately think that women that undergo IVF worry more in early pregnancy than other women who concieve naturally. I didn't worry at all about MC with my first two but have been stressed about it non stop since my BFP. I believe that there is the additional stress of twins and triplets in many cases which I'm now learning are not usually without complications. I think it's also valuable to let women know what morning sickness is not a for sure thing. I was a little concerned with my first pregnancy when I didn't get sick at all. I wondered why since all I ever hear about is how tough the first few months are.

I hope this helps. I look forward to you update!

Kat

[indigofire]

Thank you all for your responses. I very much appreciate them. Knowing what surprised you or what you would've liked to have been prepared for helps us in creating this workshop series.

What were some of the emotion issues that came up that maybe you weren't expecting? Obviously fear over losing the pregnancy was a big one, but were there others?

Thank you again,

Indigo

[Happy Bunny]

Thank you all for your responses. I very much appreciate them. Knowing what surprised you or what you would've liked to have been prepared for helps us in creating this workshop series.

What were some of the emotion issues that came up that maybe you weren't expecting? Obviously fear over losing the pregnancy was a big one, but were there others?

Thank you again,

Indigo

Due to infertility, it took a long time before we were able to start a family (saving $ for IVF). Sometimes, I worry about being an older mother and how that will all work out in the future.

[tuffy4u]

ONe more thing I'm finding different with this pregnancy. Since I'm carrying twins I am constantly asked if they were concieved naturally. I am pretty open about IVF to my friends and family but find it weird to talk about IVF to people I don't know very well, plus it's a long story. I also hate to lie because there is usually someone with me that knows the truth. Not a big deal but something that comes up a few times a week.

[Sunshine1576]

Indigo,
When I got pregnant naturally I never dreamed of having a miscarriage but even with natural pregnancy 1 out of every 4 ends in miscarriage, nobody ever warned us about that. So scared with uncertainities would be on the very top of the list. I cannot compare a IVF success with a nautral yet but I do feel the transition from the RE to the obgyn would be the hardest. We need to know what to expect. Oh could you post an outline of your workshop so we can chime in even more?
Thanks for letting us share.
Christy

[misangels3]

I got pregnant naturally after over a year of TTC and infertility work ups and after laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis adhesions and ovarian cysts. I could not believe I got pregnant naturally after what Dr.'s had told us and what I had read about stage V endo. well we did and I felt in limbo cautiously optimistic-they call it. I read that there can be correlation b/w endometriosis and miscarriages so crossed my fingers. Sure enough I starting spotting and miscarried 7wk 2 days after seeing heartbeat on u/s week before and after Dr. told me "calm down everything is normal." Then went on TTC for over another year nothing happened had more tests husband had low morphology and i had now a blocked R fallopian tube with less changes of being able to concieve so we were recommended to try IVF. On first attempt got pregnant and I cried as the nurse told me of the news. I felt so cautious d/t prior mc. I wish I could experience the feeling of pure excitement like normal women who get pregnant feel, however I am sooooo guarded. I felt scared wondering if my child would have birth defects or that i might have another miscarriage. Unfortunately with all the hopes of IVF I miscarried again @ 9weeks. Felt incredibly awful almost like postpartum but had no baby to show for it..... I started my Frozen embryo transfer this December and found out we are pregnant naturally during the beginning of the FET process. Now how do I feel? Honestly incredibly anxious, intensely guarded, yet wanting to be so hopeful for miracle baby. However I have been exposed to two category X-fertility drugs so it makes me even more uncomfortable, hard time sleeping at night. What if my child is born with birth defects because of something I have done. I take these fertility drugs to get pregnant and I would feel awful if my child was affected by my decisions. Was I selfish to want to try IVF then? Never made the cross over from seeing an RE for early pregnancy to seeing a regular OB/GYN yet so can't share my experience with that.
Thank you for listening.
Kt