Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[Sunshine1576]

Hi I couldn't possibly go to sleep without posting tonight...Today was a rough day over here. Dh said was trying to find humor and I took it the wrong way when he said to me" Let me know when you are ready to mate!" I was like omg and he went on and said so I can inject my reproductive jelly into your uterus...yes that is scientifically what's he trying to do, but did he seriously HAVE to all the romance completely out of it?!?!?! Well I let him well know it. I was so mad ALL day long and tried to stay distant, but he confronted and admitted that he was not thinking. When I got home from work, he had a boutique on the table along with and my favorite cookie, oreos...I mean it's hard enough to go through all of this as it is, we don't need to be "visually" reminded. Btw, sorry if all of that was tmi...

Honestly today was bittersweet overall..Belles and her family are moving in 5 days! She came over tonight and played scrabble with me and dh...so fun! and we made crafts the rest of the evening. I'm working on her Christmas skirt and of course never made one before...so I'm playing with ideas but I love the fabric, it's blue, silver and white sleigh bells...and since I dont know how to sew on a zipper, I created a drawstring opening with ribbon...I think it's going to be adorable but anything on Belles always looks adorable anyway. I'm going to miss her SO MUCH, in so many ways even though she was my next door neighbor, she was like my daughter. They don't know where they are moving, but couldn't I just adopt her? I better go to bed since my vision is clouded with tears. xoxo Sorry I missed personals tonight, but thinking of you all and hoping you get to spend some time with your family this Thanksgiving.

[leorira11]

Neffi - I think you can be too early for a blood test -- if the blood test today is negative, there is a slim slim slim slim chance the embryo implanted late, but doubtful. I'll do a follow up beta on Sun/Mon no matter what the result. I'm sorry about the mess - I actually just bought some reusable/washable panty liners. I hate the plastic-y feeling of the disposable ones and I use them every day while taking the progesterone suppositories. I'm not sure I'd use reusable/washable for my period (it's a pain to wash the blood out) but this white gunk comes out really easily in the wash. I bought them online, but haven't received them yet -- I'll let you know how they work out! Btw, my doctors usually keep me on estrogen tablets for 2.5-3 weeks -- I was the one who pushed for an earlier transfer.

HopeThisWorksM - our first pregnancy, I waited until 12 weeks to tell anyone besides DH. It was agony - because I was puking everywhere and so exhausted - I'm sure most people guessed. The reason people say NOT to tell is that if something happens, you don't want to 'untell'. But I've had to "untell" several times now, and I personally prefer to tell early. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of my miscarriage, and I wanted to tell people when I miscarried because I needed the support. After that, I figured, why wait? I'd rather celebrate early. If I miscarry, that's normal, and I'll need my friends/family's support anyways. So now, we wait until we see a heartbeat (around 6.5 weeks) and then tell people. I like that way! congrats on the heart beat! ---- by the way - what are cytokine levels? I've never heard of that!

Kim - oh. I'm so sorry. I know you aren't surprised after negative HPTs, but it still hurts so much to get that final BFN. {{big hugs}} Is another cycle/donor eggs-sperm-embryos/adoption an option? I think the question of "what am I doing with my life now?" is the hardest part of failed cycles. I soooo badly want to be a mom - what if that never happens? Who am I if I'm not a mom? What is my purpose/goal in life if not raising children? I don't have answer, but I wanted you to know that I have the same questions, as I'm sure do most of the women here.

Jayne - I've stopped messing around with HPTs because I'm driving myself nuts over what I see/don't see -- so blood test today! I'm waiting for the results. I really hope those donor eggs work out! (btw, when I have a kid, I'm going to donate my eggs - our problem is strictly male factor and I respond great. 5 years ago, I would never have considered donating eggs - even for money. Here in Israel, you can only do it voluntarily (no money), but I think I'll do it anyway. I know so many women who need donor eggs/embryos - and I can help make someone's dream of being a mom come true. I don't know if it's selfish to wait until this works for us first (I'll hopefully still be pretty young!) - but I just can't imagine donating eggs that could have been used for my cycles...)

Amy - (kerpupples) - oooooh! You are making me want to go to Vegas sooo bad! I think we really need a vacation. I'm figuring that in two cycles (this FET and the next fresh) - we have a combined chance of 50% --- so if I *don't* get pregnant - I want a really nice vacation in February! I'm thinking Disney World, but Vegas sounds awesome too!

Bodie - 2 girls! That's great! (although, I really don't care and I think any combo is fantastic -- but 2 girls is one I personally haven't tried! )

Indigo - it must be so hard to work with women delivering healthy babies and have to deal with this infertility crap. A friend of mine delivered her son at 27 weeks and he passed away after almost 3 months in the NICU. She is a doula. How hard must that be? She actually was with me after my C-section and while the boys were in the NICU and she was fantastic. She is pregnant and due in March - and I really hope this works out for her. I can't imagine working with happy pregnant people all day.... Hopefully one (or more!) of those 9 embryos will be your baby!

Patricia - people don't understand how devastating any of this is - it's incredible. I hope your personal trainer wasn't too hard on you, but big KUDOS on working out! I'm impressed!

Gina - wow. I'm sorry. Your family has had to deal with so much this year. Hopefully 2012 will be better.

Christy - I had a fight with DH yesterday too -- I think the stress starts to eat away at the relationship. I'm sorry. I hope you made up.

AFM - blood drawn. Waiting for results. Hopefully in an hour or so.... HPT this morning wasn't so promising.

[leorira11]

well... there's sort - of good news...



but my beta is 21

I know I'm super early (only 8dp5dt), but the average for 13dpo according to betabase.info is 63... so I'm only 1/3 of that.

I don't know what to think. I'll do another beta on Sunday.

[blueeyedreamer]

Leora- Great news! Any number is a great number! I'm excited to hear how the 2nd beta turns out!

[leorira11]

I've changed my ticker...

I'm optimistic!

[blueeyedreamer]

Gina- I'm sorry to hear about DH's uncle. Your family can't catch a break.

Kim- I'm sorry for the BFN. I wish we didn't ever have to see or hear another BFN-EVER.

Hopethisworks- I'm with Leora on this one. It's totally up to you as to when you want to tell. I don't like to wait but don't tell the whole world. I'm not ashamed about my miscarriage and quite frankly wish it was talked about more. It saddens me to think that pregnancy and pregnancy loss are so taboo. If you want to celebrate then celebrate! If you want to wait, then wait. It comes down to your comfort level. Yes, it is possible that something bad could happen but it we sat around and did nothing out of fear of the bad things, we wouldn't experience the good things.
I don't know what cytokine levels are either??

AFM- I'm ok. This week was much better. I had a chance to meet my friend for lunch yesterday. She is the one that had her m/c right before I had mine. We have both been through this IVF roller coaster and unfortunately had to share this experience. It was interesting to see how we both reacted quite differently from each other.

I tried to find out about my tissue test results but didn't get an answer. The nurse left me a message that the dr.'s notes said she wants me to come in for a follow up to talk about that and the plan for the next FET. The dr told me the results usually come in within one week and my appt isn't until the 8th. That's three weeks! Torture, torture I tell you! I'm going to stalk her until I get my results. I left a message saying that my dh won't be able to come to the appt with me and we would like to have the results over the phone so we can talk about it and I can come prepared with questions. We will see if that works. Wait, wait, and more wait. I'm tired of f***ing waiting. This process is certainly a test in patience.

My cramps have mostly stopped and the spotting stopped a few days ago. I must say I have been very confused. The nurse did specifically say I would have a period and that was only because the dr was trying to take only the pregnancy sacs and not much else during the d&c. So it sounded to me like a lot of the lining would still be there. I spotted for a week but then it stopped.

I had a d&c during my first endo surgery and it was AWFUL. I bled very heavily for 2 solid weeks and had pain so bad that vicodin plus ibuprofen was the only thing I could do for it. I was terrified that I would have that again. But thankfully not. Of course, this time my d&c was with a good doctor and not one nicknamed "The Butcher". I found about about the butcher status after my surgery. Nice.

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans. Have some yummy turkey. Mine will be drowning in Moscato! If you have never cooked your turkey with white wine, preferable dessert wine, you should!

I'll leave you with something funny. My DH asked me tonight, "why is Thanksgiving on Thursday this year?". I about busted a gut laughing at him. He is Chinese, raised in Canada so he has a bit of an excuse. TOO FUNNY!

[blueeyedreamer]

Optimism is good! What time is it there? It's almost midnight here in Seattle. Time for bed. Night night!

[leorira11]

10 am here!

We are 7 hours ahead of New York, 10 hours ahead of Los Angeles (most of the year, we do daylights savings a few weeks before or after you, so sometimes 6 or 8 hours difference to my mom in Pittsburgh! She always forgets and calls and wakes me up!)

[amanda1979]

Gina- I am so sorry for all the heartbreak you & your family are going through.

Leora- I know it is early but CONGRATULATIONS!!! 21 is not a horrible number & it is early..

Sunshine- I am sorry you & your DH had a fight the gift from him was sweet though. Sometimes men just don't think!

Hopethisworks- I know I may be alittle late but super Congrats on the HB!! What a wonderful moment

Kim- A BFN is always so terrible even when you know it is coming. I thought we would be pregnant come the holidays too but that did not happen. I hope you can try to enjoy the holidays & your family.

Rosie- Your betas are looking awesome!!!

Jayne- Have you thought about doing a split cycle? Your eggs & hers? that is what we are doing & it feels right. Just a thought Of course we split the donor eggs with another couple to cut down on cost and I don't want 14 eggs since we will be using mine too.

Anton- So good to hear from you!! I haven't even started Christmas shopping or putting up decorations.

AFM: My RE are going to let us do a cycle in January & pay him when we get our income taxes He now thinks we may have alittle sperm problem along with my eggs..(DAMN) Now Dh is on clomid for the January cycle & we are still going to do a split cycle with a donor & me. I told the RE we wanted more than 2 eggs from the donor but not 14 hehe.. He said we could split them with another couple which would help on cost too. I am also going in for a D&C after my period in December just to make sure it looks good for January. I did do a digital ovulation test last Sunday & got a smiley face so we took advantage of it. So maybe all this will be a mute point maybe we got lucky last Sunday. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!

[Gina1976]

Oh Leora!! CONGRATS!!! 21 is good for being so early! Praying hard the number increases!!! Whoohoo! I needed this awesome news this morning!


Thank you all for the thoughts/prayers. I'm so ready for 2012!! Correction on his Uncle, the lesions are on his kidneys and it's attacking his immune system. It isn't cancerous however. Hopefully they'll try and remove them or something. Maybe we can find out more this coming week.

[Gina1976]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

It's just the three of us but we are having a friend of ours and her two come eat with us. One is 12 and the other is 5 months old. She just dropped her soon to be Ex off at the airport. They had nothing planned at all. Her brought us a couple of butter sticks we needed and was so thankful.

[anton]

Leora YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am SO excited for your news!!! Congratulations!!!! I just saw your post and I got Goosebumps! I am So happy for you as if I am the one that got the BFP!!! ...You are definitely the POAS Queen and as of today the Beta Queen too!!! I LOVE that you went ahead and did the blood test!! you are amazing! i could never do that!...Don’t worry about your not so high beta, like you said it is too early for high numbers!!! OMG!! You did IT! you are pregnant! Have a wonderful Christmas my friend!!! Finally!! Your Santa baby is on its way!!! May this be a healthy pregnancy with a healthy baby all the way for the rest 9 months!!

Hugs and kisses honey!! May Sunday brings "us" rising beta #'s!!!! I've got everything crossed for you!!! ...I can't deny that from my excitement I wanted to paste all the congratulations blinkies from photoshop!


...more personals later!

Love
Antonia

[margi26]

**CRASHING**

Amanda: So glad to hear you will be cycling in January and that your RE will work with you regarding payment timing. Sory about male factor, but knowing what you are dealing with so it can be addressed is also best. Did you do ICSI in the past? It is practically December already, so the new year will be here before you know it!! I am rooting for you!

Anton: HUGS and love to you.

Leora: What can I say? YAAAAHOOO. Yes, I understand your cautious optimism....I totally get it, but at this early stage, 21 can and will work!!! My only problem is waiting until SUNDAY (?!?!) for next beta? No way to get sooner? If not, **I** will try to be patient. Did David know you were POASing this time? Sending you lots and lots of DOUBLING VIBES!! Love to hear the good news. My DH and I are both so, so happy for you.
DUH, self edit: Today is THURSDAY. I am so off track these days, of course I understand why we...I mean, you need to wait until Sunday for beta.

[rosie84]

Leora - so, so thrilled for you! I am sure it feels good to have a number instead of squinting at those damn pee sticks I am sending lots of prayers your way that the numbers just keep going up up up and that this is the beginning of something great!

[Happy Bunny]

Leora: YAY! Congrats! I wish that Betabase broke the results down into the type of pregnancy (3dt, 5dt, frozen, natural, iui, etc.) because I bet there are some differences in the data.

Are you going to keep POAS?