Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[Tess69]

Leora - our posts crossed. Although I'm really hoping that your wee bean is hanging in there, I absolutely understand your feeling of pessimism. It's a protective mechanism that we have learnt to put in place because of our experiences. It's perfectly normal and reasonable.

I'm absolutely with you about shouting out about miscarriage. To me, it is far better that people know why you are having a hard time. Obviously you can pick and choose who to tell. That decision is entirely yours. When you are open and share with friends, family and colleagues, they are able to provide support when you most need it. Although our loss at 20 wks was not a miscarriage, I was very open about what had happened. I didn't want anybody thinking that I had chosen to terminate a pregnancy because of something trivial. They needed to know the facts - that our little boy had unsurvivable abnormalities - one of them being that his kidneys were so enlarged they had pushed into the thoracic cavity and his lungs had not developed at all. I think it really shocked some of my friends and colleagues but frankly, that is their problem not mine. It certainly helped me to talk about it and now if anyone wants to ask me a question about my experience, they do so, because they know I'll give them a straight answer and won't hold anything back.

To answer your question of where to from here. We were going to do another IVF cycle but I'm seriously thinking about skipping to a donor egg cycle. So definitely want to try again. DH has resigned from work from beginning of March and is going to start contracting so we have to watch money. We only have enough for one more cycle and I'm not sure that I want to risk using my eggs again. I think at 42 they are starting to be a bit worse for wear. It would be nice for our baby to have my genetics as well as DHs but at the end of the day, a baby is the outcome of what I want.

To your friends who ask why you want to have a baby....at 42 I can categorically state that by this age most of your friends that don't want to have children, will have. You definitely don't want to be the one without. I can understand that. After my experience over the last five years, and my dumb-arsed naivety about the biological clock, I'm such an advocate for having babies at a young age. I lecture all the youngies at work readily.

[sharishu]

Hey all- hope you have room for yet another IVFer. I've been lurking here reading your stories. As always, you all show such amazing spirit, hope, as well as support. I could use some of that positivity now.

I'm currently in the early part of my 2ww. This is IVF#6 for me. I got pregnant on IVF#2, and my darling son was born 3 years ago. Since then, I became pregnant naturally at the beginning of IVF#3/suppressioin (which is nothing short of a miracle, as I have not much in the way of fallopian tubes which function) but miscarried at 8 weeks. IVF#4 and #5 were BFNs. And last week, for IVF#6 I had two embies transferred, and hoping for the best. (No freezies- never had any freezies EVER in all this time). Anyway, just been feeling kinda crampy this past day (mild to moderate), and to be honest, I don't even know what I feel about it anymore. Excited ? (maybe it's my uterus expanding and embies implanting!) Discouraged ? (maybe it's the beginning of af!) Bitter ? (I'm so sick of all this already!). Anyway, I guess I'm feeling a mix of all those. With an umbrella feeling of just plain EXHAUSTED.

Also- is anyone else besides me a complete wreck at work? It's so embarrassing how out of it I am. I'm fine during therapy sessions with the kids I work with (I'm a speech therapist in a preschool), but the report writing, showing up late for meetings, and being confused and 'out of it' in front of my colleagues is just NOT okay. My brains are mush, and my focus is shot! The major cut-down on caffeine isn't helping my plight. Sigh.

Anyway, hugs and healthy pregnancies to us all <3

Shari xxx

[Gina1976]

Shari - Glad you joined us! I really hope the 2ww flies by for you! I hope the end results is a BFP and you bring home a healthy baby! Stay at home Mom here, but I'm blah a lot of times! I can't imagine being at work because I'd probably be fired lol.

[WeHaveHope]

Shari-welcome. Wishing you all the best and praying you get your BFP. I will add you to the Roll Call after this post.

Gina-how are you doing?

Tess-how are you feeling? Saying lots of prayers for you.

Sunshine-thanks for the birthday calendar.

Ninde-how are you doing? How are you exercise classes going?

Leora and JenMinks-keeping you in my prayers.

Anton-what are you cooking tonight. I love reading about your reciepies.

Fruit-how are you doing?

LauraN-how are you feeling? When will you be POAS?

Neffi-haven't heard from you in a bit. Hope everything is ok.

AFM-going to see the Hematologist today. My RE already placed an order for Lovenox 40mg SQ daily but he wants to confer with the Hematologist first. Unfortunately, I'm still bleeding 2 weeks after the D&C and endometrial biopsy. I just stoped the BCP so I should get AF in a few days although it may be a bit difficult to recognize day one of AF because of the continued bleeding. I am remaining very calm about this cycle. Realistically we have this try and then one more and that's it. I've had too much heartbreak and too much loss to allow mysrlf to get draped up in this again. So, I am praying for God's will to be done and not mine. I'm not sure what the plan is but I know I need to be healthy and happy for my family and IVF has put a huge toll on everything. So, remaining realistic and grounded.

Sorry for no more personals. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. I am very frearful for all of the prayers and support that ypu all have provided me, DS, and the rest of my family during this time. Please know that I am thinking and praying for each and everyone of you.

Your friend,

Maria

[WeHaveHope]

UPDATED 12-6-11 @ 7:31am EST

I have not been able to update the board since 11-12. Please assist me in updating the board by posting a quick update on your status. Also if you know the status of anyone else on the board that I need to correct, please let me know. With everyones help, I should be able to have the board updated in a few days. Sending you lots of xoxoxo.








UPDATE NEEDED
Melinda72-ER 9-12-11
Kendra_n_Michael-estimated ER 9-20-11
Sky7371-ER scheduled on 10-24-11
Krrice28-IVF 10/2011
Catdempsey-Fall/2011 ER end of October
Pinkboots11-PUPO. Beta 11-7.
Kerribell FET Nov/2011
Olim78-FET Nov/2011
Tamera-ER 11-11, ET 11-16


Kala0704-FET 12-28-11
Neffi-FET 12-9-11
WeHaveHope-FET 12-30-11
Indigofire-FET Mid Dec/2011
Kerpupples-FET Winter


Alwaysangel-Fall/2011
Anton-IVF 2012
Fruit-Fall/2011
Jasmin-Fall/2011
Cheri76-Fall IVF
Bebesperanza-Fall/2011
Greekchick Fall/2011
Kerri_789 IVF Fall/2011
Gina1976-will schedule appt w/RE in several months for 1st IVF
Hopefulmommy-Nov/2011
Ninde-ER 1/2012, ET 2/2012
Sunshine1576-Feb/2012
Julia73-Feb/2012
Lyd10-on Lupron and starting Inj 12-3 for ER 12-16 or 12-17
Blueeyedreamer-Appt with RE 12-8 for Winter cycle
Amanda1979-Jan/2012







Lauren319-Fall/2011
Outlaw927-Fall/2011
Bonnieucwv-stims started on 11-26





Becca-PUPO FET 11-2
LauraN-PUPO 12-2(3 embies) Beta 12-16
Sharishu-PUPO(2 embies).

RESULTS

Fvrogers-PUPO on 9-22-11 (2 blasts). BFP 9-30 Beta=57, 10-3=290, 10-24 u/s one HB
Tuffy4u-PUPO on 9-24-11 (2 blasts). BFP 10-3 Beta=205, Beta 10-5=519, 10-25 u/s twins 2 HB's
K8ielovett-PUPO 9-19-11. BFP 10-3 Beta=953, Beta 10-6=3403
Toniaa-PUPO 9-24-11(2 blasts). 10-6 +HPT, No Beta waiting for u/s
Counsel13-PUPO(4 embies). BFP 16dpo=470, 18dpo=2060
Bodie1011-PUPO 10-7(2 embies). 10-14 +HPT, 10-16 Beta=248, 10-18 Beta=725, 10-25 u/s twins, 10-31 2 HB's
Jen8675309-PUPO on 10-14(2 embies). 10-27 Beta=46, 10-29 Beta=59, 10-31 Beta 105
HopeThisWorksM-PUPO(2 embies). 11-1 Beta=146, 11-3 Beta=284, 11-8 Beta=886, 11-10 Beta=1653, u/s #1 HB, u/s #2 HB 120bpm.
JenMink55-PUPO 10-29(3 blasts). +HPT, 11-7 Beta=135, 11-9 Beta=320, 11-28 u/s 1 HB.
Leorira-BFP 13dpo=21, Beta 16dpo=122, 19dpi Beta=690, 24dpo Beta=1187
Tess69-11-27-11 BFP Beta=29, 11-30 Beta=33, 12-4 Beta=55
Blessed143-PUPO FET 11-3(2 embies). 11-10 +HPT, 11-14 BFP Beta=46, 11-16 Beta=89, 11-18 Beta=239, 12-2 u/s 1 HB.
Nac-BFP 11-28 11dp5dt Beta=42, 12-1 14dp5dt Beta=165
Rosie84-BFP(5dt of 2) = +HPT on 6dp5dt, beta #1: 308, beta #2: 849, 1st u/s (6w2d) - 2 heartbeats


We love you and are always here for you
Kamina
Furmomma
Jayne321-possible adoption and/or IVF #3
SamanthaRae21
Kiminsh


Ninde 
Alwaysangel 
Sunshineandstars 
WeHaveHope 
Akdelp 
Blueeyedreamer

[Gina1976]

Maria- Thank you for asking. I'm doing alright. I'm a big slump lately. So many things going wrong with the family from losses to injuries. My Niece that is far from ready to being a Mom, is going to be one this summer. Only way for me to get an IVF through a bank is with a Co-signer but I don't have anyway. Trying another way here soon. We shall see!

Take all the time you need for yourself and your son. Praying for you daily.

Praying for all of you!

Leora- How are you doing? Your DH?

[Julia73]

Shari-welcome! Glad you're here. This is an amazing place for support, you will fit right in.

Leora- how are you today?

Patricia-I love love love your pictures on Facebook! You're so pretty! How are things with u? I go for my first acupuncture tomorrow.

Jen-oh my gosh your comment on how much stress and anxiety going to pee can cause. When I started bleeding at the end of my cycle I LIVED in the bathroom, always checking but dreading what id find everytime. I can't stand the bathroom now. I hated it before but after that i'm so ready to move its unreal. Bad memories of me and Dh in there crying. Lol he came with me everytime. Want funny then but kinda is now.

Lyd-.yay! Birthday buddy!

[Sunshine1576]

JenMink, Thanks for posting us your special day.
Leora, I don't know how I missed yours, I had it posted in head that it's the same day as Harry Potter's. Brain overload!
More personals in a bit...I'm trying to figure out what to get a 8 year old nephew for CHristmas...Why do boys have to be so hard to buy for? One thing is for sure they never want clothes! lol

[sharishu]

Gina and Hope-
Thanks for the welcomes! Hoping for that BFP as well.

Hope- I can't believe how quickly you got me onto that list! You're amazing!

I will, please G-d, have time for personals tomorrow. Gotta catch up on your posts too

Hugs and healthy pregnancies,
Shari xxx

[Happy Bunny]

Leora: I'm angry at the world that this is happening to you. I want so much to believe that good news will come and you can be happy again.

I too, am for being open about miscarriage. I firmly believe that no one should suffer something so painful in silence. Furthermore, when we talk about things that are uncomfortable, it shines a light on the issue so that others who may be experiencing the same thing will not feel alone and feel as if they are expected to hide what is happening to them. Miscarriage isn't anyone's fault and there's nothing to be ashamed of. You deserve support and understanding from those who care about you.

You are among the toughest, most courageous women I've "met". Your determination to build your family is admirable and I know in my heart that you are going to be successful.


AFM: My bleed stopped. I went to the RE and got a scan. The doctor said that there is no current bleed, no clots in my uterus and no sign that the pregnancy is in trouble. He speculated that the blood came from blood vessels opening up as the placenta forms on the uterine wall - he said sometimes blood leaks out when that happens. As reasonable as that sounds, I'm still afraid of what I will find every time I go to the bathroom.

[LYD10]

Tess - your coffee guy reminds me of the Soupnazi from Seinfeld

[leorira11]

Brooke - so glad to hear -- did you get to see the baby's heartbeat? (6weeks is borderline - you may see it, you may not)

[LYD10]

Leora - to answer your question - it took me a long time to get back to cycling after the M/C. my AF after D&C took 5 weeks to show up. hopefully yours will be a lot quicker. i think your last M/C you said your AF came 2 weeks after D&C. Because it took so long for my AF my doc let me go ahead with BCP right away. So i didnt have to skip a cycle - but went straight into BCP followed by lupron, after my AF came after D&C. but D&C took a while too. we waited 1 week to see if i M/Carried on my own - and i wouldnt - so they finally did a D&C at week 7 or 8 i think. All in all - it took too damn long. but what can we do... i hope yours goes faster. but more than anything i hope you'll end up in the 1% - when it will just work!!! i know its a long shot. but i hope it works out.

[olim78]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I have been MIA for a few weeks. I will try to catch up on everyone's posts in the next day or so. I have now had my FET.

WeHaveHope - We had 2 frozen blasts trasnferred on 1 Dec, so I am now 5dp5dt in effect...and in the horrible 2WW which feels like 2 years! Shari - Hi! How many days in are you? Are you going to POAS? We don't have BETA's over here in the UK, we HAVE to POAS, but not until 12dp5dt....a week away - argh!!!

Has anyone POAS this early and got a BFP? I feel really bloated today with slight twinges but I've forgotten what I felt like this time along when I got pregnant with my DS. Also felt a bit sick today but I know it's way too early for morning sickness and think it must be the HRT I am taking. Anyone else had nausea with this?

Sending positive thoughts and wishes to everyone. Chat soon xx

[LauraN]

Shari- Welcome! And congrats on being PUPO! So, when was your Embryo transfer? Mine was this past Friday, 12/2. So, I'm with you early in the 2WW. And, I totally hear you about your brain turning into mush! I swear I have to keep ear plugs in or my brain would just fall out of my head while I'm going through all of this. Luckily everyone kinda leaves me alone and I try to stay under the radar at work and not work on anything super high profile.

Leora- When will they do another u/s? I know you are numb and not expecting a lot, but I am totally praying for you and hoping for a miracle.

Olim- congrats on being PUPO too! When you say you are so many days past transfer, do you could the day of transfer or start with the next day? I swear I can never keep it straight. My transfer was the day after yours, but mine was a 3 day and we transferred 3 embryos, and it was a fresh cycle. And yes, the 2 WW feels like a million years! and it's only been a few days. I will be POASing, but I don't know when I will start...as soon as possible though

AFM- ok, so tomorrow will be day 10 since I did the trigger shot, so that means that on Thursday, I should be able to at least not get a false positive, right? I so want to start POAsing right now! I have to go buy more because I only have 1 left from my last cycle.... Nothing major going on, getting super grouchy, super quickly. Hopefully on Friday when I go in for estrogen/progesterone levels, my estrogen will be high enough to not need additional patches...those things make it worse for me, but if I need them, oh well, guess I need them. I do feel like I might be coming down with a cold, or maybe it's just sinus problems, feeling that hazy feeling starting in my head and can't shake this headache. I need to research and see what I am allowed to take, or if I will just have to suck it up. I don't want to take anything that could even possibly cause problems.

Baby dust and sticky vibes for all! Laura