Pregnant after IVF miscarriage or infant loss

[sunshine and stars]

I hope that this isn't a repeat topic...but I can't seem to find a place where my story "fits." I am pregnant again via IVF after losing our son at 2 months in April. He was a much desired and much loved little IVF donor sperm baby. This is the third time that I have been pregnant in 3 years, and even if that sounds terrific, I have yet to "bring home" a living, breathing child. (My son never came home from the hospital).

So, I don't feel like I can talk about my loss on pregnancy sites (too scary). And I am having trouble sharing my woe on IVF sites-- because it sounds like I don't want to celebrate this pregnancy-- which is a miracle in itself. My trepidation sounds like ingratitude, which it isn't.

Has anyone been in this position? How in the world did you manage? How can I be confident about this time around?

[Sdtryingagain]

Congrats are your pregnancy and your worry and trouble feeling hopeful about your current pregnancy makes perfect sense. I have not suffered the kinds of losses that you have, but there are several ladies on both the IVF thread and pregnant thread that I know can relate. I hope some of them can offer you some support here. I would hazard a guess to say that a huge number of us have had miscarriage (mine was early at 6 weeks) so I think its a little different than a late loss, but regardless many women here can relate to having trouble with doubts and fears after repeated losses. I hope that you feel welcome and supported and know that in reading your post your feelings sound completely normal to me.

[MamaBoo]

I had a mc between 6-7 during my first IVF pregnancy. The next pregnancy terrified me. I was soooo scared something would go wrong. I think it is very normal to feel that way. I didn't relax until probably past 30 weeks and even then I tread softly. Sorry for your losses. Hopefully, this one is the one for you.

[sunshine and stars]

Thank you, Mamaboo and sdtryingagain,
Day by day, day by day.
Muddling along...with cautious optimism.

[ginginN]

I guess you're prepared enough this time. Your experience is the best reason for you to be strong and prepared. It is just a test to see if you can hold on for long. For sure your current pregnancy will be perfectly OK.

Having baby is the best gift to a woman. Unfortunately not all are given the chance to experience or just to have at least one. Good for those who can afford different kind of treatment. But how about those who can't? Like in Canada and the United States, a single IVF treatment can cost between $10,000 and $15,000 per cycle. We can't deny the fact that some couples can't afford this treatment. Fortunately Hot 89.9 in Canada, radio station games are a day to day thing. The latest grand prize in the sweepstakes, though, is bringing about quite the aggravation for some. Free IVF treatments are being presented as the prize for this radio competition. Canadian Radio Win a baby contest offers $35,000 prize . This will be a big surprise and a big hope for those couple who desired to have little babies in their home.

[kashapanc]

Hi there. I am somewhat in the same boat as you. Just found out I am pregnant from IVF round 1. I have had two miscarriages. One in 2009 then I had a baby in 2010 but he had a fatal condition and did not come home from the hospital, then another miscarriage this past May. Like you I want to be sooo excited about this pregnancy but I cannot help but worry. I think how you feel is totally normal for those of us who have been through such loss. Wishing you good things this time around.

[leannethomas]

Hi, I am on my 4th cycle of icsi in the uk. My last cycle resulted in a BFP which ended in a mc at 5 weeks. I found out about 10 days ago that I am pregnant again and thankfully have passed that dreaded 5 week mark( only by 4 days) but even that felt like a milestone. This pregnancy does feel different and I have had a lot more symptoms ( cant help smiling every time I throw up!!). Still, the days are dragging on particularly as I am housebound at the moment and I know we have a long way to go. I am eagerly awaiting the scan on 12th of october and preying that we make it that far this time. I guess I am trying to keep it in the day and enjoy the miracle that is (hopeflly) occurring inside of me. Even that I doubt at times despite having a hpt last sunday and a blood test the sunday before which tells me that I am. It's just that there are so many hurdles to get over each of which causes anxiety and stress. I have never preyed so much and every time I go to the loo and wipe and dont see any blood I thank God xxxxxxx (sorry if that is overly descriptive but it's the way it is for me). God willing the miracles will continue for us all xxx

[misangels3]

I am also one who has lost 1st at 7w 2days then I lost my second after IVF at about 9 wks, now pregnant with number 3 and feel exactly the same. After seeing the heart beating each time there is a connection and bonding experience and I can't imagine having a loss 2nd or 3rd trimester. It just isn't fair. I wish we all knew why we were given such a different path to life. I feel so anxious and can't help but wonder if this is gonna be the one that sticks and will it be healthy??. It is easier said than done to free your mind of the feeling of a potential loss. All the nurses and dr. say it will be ok, and all i can say is hope so. Wish we could have experienced the extreme happiness of finding out we are pregnant and bringing a baby home with no worries like most. Be strong . There has got to be something we will learn from this all or something that makes us stronger in the end, just not sure what it is yet.

[shammy678]

Hi ladies. After losing our first IVF baby in September (at 6 weeks), I'm ecstatic but so nervous because we are pregnant again. (5 weeks). I know there's nothing anyone can say to help with the nerves. I just want to hit the 12 week mark! One thing that I'm excited about is that my initial beta for this pregnancy (at 19dpo) was 1228, which I keep hearing is a strong number. My initial beta with my last pregnancy was 188 so this go round, it's 10 times higher! I feel in my heart that this baby's going to 'stick' and we'll have our precious child in September but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely scared. I'm ever so hopeful...but scared.

[lucymatt10]

Only key you must be optimist and have faith. May God give you strength to bear all this.