Starting IVF 39 - scared

[mommaforthe4thtime]

Hello all,

I am 39 years old (40 in May) and a proud mother of 3 children concieved naturally. They are 21, 20 and 16. I had my tubes tied due to a decision made because of an ex husband who was abbusive. I have since found my prince charming who also has an eight year old son. We have decided to start IVF and have our first consult in 2 weeks. My doctor of over 22 years referred me to the clinic stating that I was a good candidate for IVF as I'm healthy.

I am worried about my eggs not being viable anymore. Can anyone please share their experience with this procedure and if your around my age even better.
Could you tell me on what try your on and how you felt?
Did you use accupuncture?
Did you have assisted hatching?
How long after your first consult did you actually start the process?

Anything you could share would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance

[Happy Bunny]

Welcome!

I was 37 and 38 at the time of my IVFs and they were both successful. My first IVF we had a 5 day transfer with 2 embryos and my second IVF we had a 3 day transfer with 3 embryos. We had single pregnancies both times.

I did not do anything outside of my doctor's instruction (no supplements, no special diets, no acupuncture). I just followed my doctor's orders and tried to live my life as normally as possible.

We did have assisted hatching but I think that my doctor does that for everyone.

After the consult, I believe that we started treatment about a month later.

At first, IVF is a lot to take in. Lots of medications, lots of doctor appointments, lots of waiting periods and lots of stress. The best things that you can do are visit forums like this one for support, ask your doctor and nurses questions when you have them

Best wishes!

[mommaforthe4thtime]

Thanks HB for sharing your story. It is very encouraging. Were you nervous about the cost or did your insurance cover it? In our case it's all out of pocket.

[Happy Bunny]

We paid out of pocket for almost everything. We have military insurance so our ultrasounds and blood work were covered and a few of the cheaper medications had co-pays but the bulk came out of pocket. We saved for some time and made big sacrifices in order to cover the expense.

The cost is terrifying... It's a huge gamble and it's hard to drop that much money on an uncertainty, but we had to try. I'd rather have lived with the money lost than have lived with never knowing what could have been.

[margi26]

Welcome!!!

First, let me say that you have definitely come to the right place! I tried posting on a couple different sites, and this one has been the best for information, developing relationships, and getting MUCH needed support throughout the IVF rollercoaster. And I do mean rollercoaster. Even if all goes well and you get preggo on your first go-round, make sure that you are prepared for the emotional ups and downs, worries and joys, with each step in the process.

Yes, I am an example of an "older" woman who had success. I have seen lots of women over 35 and over 40, some who have been fortunate to get pregnant the first try. For me, it took a few cycles.

I did do some dietary changes (ex, adding some full fat dairy) and took some supplements to help with egg quality (DHEA, Maca root, COQ10). I also used acupuncture, and assisted hatching is definitely recommended for "older" eggs.

We started right away after first consult. I was initially very excited and naive and knew so little about what to expect. I wish I had found this site then!

My recommendation to you is to #1 make sure that you are comfortable with your clinic and RE. Check their success rates for your age category at http://www.sart.org and #2 hop on and cycle together here with other women (such as the "Fall/Winter Board"). It makes the process so much easier to talk with other women going through what you are at the same time.

Best of luck!!! Feel free to PM me if you wish as I have limited time to post as I have my hands, happily, full with my twins!!

[shammy678]

Welcome! This is my first post but I wanted to reply because I'm 39 and my birthday's in May so I know exactly how you feel! Just for background, we conceived my 4 year old son naturally but turned to a fertility clinic after trying for a year for baby #2. We are considered, 'unexplained' as my husband and I have no known factors that prevent us from getting pregnant. After two failed IUI's, we did our first IVF cycle in August. It was a lot of work (doctors appointments for constant monitoring and the amount of medication is overwhelming at first) but it ended up being manageable. I stay at home so that definitely helped because I was going to the doctor almost everyday for monitoring. (From what I was told, I was on the lowest dosages of meds). Thankfully, I fared very well on the meds and didn't have any bad side effects. I produced 15 embryos, all of them mature and 14 fertilized. Only 4 made it to blastocyst stage. The toughest decision was to decide how many embryos to put back in. After much discussion, we went conservatively with only one because we wanted to do everything possible to avoid multiples. Our doctor recommended two based on my age but we went with our gut. We ended up getting pregnant but miscarried at 7 weeks.

On December 23rd, we did a Frozen Embryo Transfer (we have 3 frozen embryos) and once again, only transferred one embryo. I go for my first beta test tomorrow but I cheated and did a HPT and it's positive!! I'm so elated...but cautiously optimistic given what happened before. This entire journey can be incredibly stressful given how much of a gamble it is. Thankfully, my husband's insurance pays for 80 percent and we hit our out of pocket maximum in the fall so this second FET was actually free. Even so, our finances have taken a hit and that's been really hard...but worth it. My husband and I said that even if this doesn't end with another baby, this journey was worth it because we know we gave it our best shot. Best of luck to you!!!!

Nancy

[mommaforthe4thtime]

You are such strong women and I commend each of you for sticking though things. Your stories really do help. At our age there are so many variables. I love my 3 children dearly but I have never felt so worried about be able to concieve. I have found the man of my dreams and I'm afraid of failure. How did you all cope with the fear before you even started?

[WeHaveHope]

You are such strong women and I commend each of you for sticking though things. Your stories really do help. At our age there are so many variables. I love my 3 children dearly but I have never felt so worried about be able to concieve. I have found the man of my dreams and I'm afraid of failure. How did you all cope with the fear before you even started?

I am over on the Fall/Winter Board but wanted to welcome you to these boards in general. You will find lots of support here and great information. I truly wish you all of tge best and will be praying for you. You may want to join the group over on the Fall:Winter Board. The ladies all all so wonderful. Best of luck on your journey.

[mommaforthe4thtime]

Nancy it's wonderful to see that you got such a great result on your Beta test yesterday! It's so awesome. I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. I hope and pray to the Lord above that he allows me to have to the same outcome. I will keep you all up to date about what's going on and I will definetly join the Fall/Winter crowd.

[shammy678]

Thank you so much!!! I spent all day freaking out over my initial beta of 1228 but I'm off the ledge now after realizing that I tested pretty late (13 days past transfer) AND our blast was a 6 day emby so really, I'm 19dpo so the number isn't off the charts! It's funny, you spend all these months (or years) trying and praying that you'll get pregnant and once you do, there are a million new worries! After my last miscarriage, I'm SO scared but I'm going to be excited and happy until I have reason not to be. I will pray for your future success!!! I had a number of nurses tell me that 39 is actually not 'old' in the fertility world. My friend pregnant and due in March and she's 46! (granted, she used donor embryos) but from what I hear, as long as your embryos are viable,you have a pretty good shot at getting pregnant!!!

[Happy Bunny]

How did you all cope with the fear before you even started?

During our first IVF, I was 100% convinced that it wouldn't work and felt like I was going through the motions to try everything before giving up. I suppose that was my way of preparing myself for failure.

During our second IVF, I felt like it was asking too much to have it work twice in a row and was again prepared for a failure.

I've always saw myself as an optimist but I guess this issue was too close to my heart and I did some really negative thinking. I wouldn't recommend it but that's what I went through.

[mommaforthe4thtime]

HB it makes total sense how you dealt with the unknown. I have always been such a pesimist. Yet I feel like it should work the first time. I mean, I have had children before and I'm healthy. I work out and eat right. Then the other side of me says, exactly, its been a long time since you last had a baby. You're old and what if you eggs are no good. I feel like I have some split personality disorder and don't know what to do with the voices in my head...LOL.

[LauraN]

I sent you a private message a little earlier. It is an adventure to say the least and I think one thing that those of us had kids naturally at some point, usually many moons ago, is that it may not be as easy as we think. But, on the other hand, I have seen it work the first time. I do know that it is an emotional roller coaster and I could not have made it through these two cycles without the ladies on this board!

[mommaforthe4thtime]

Hi Laura,

Thank you so much for your private message. Your story is very similar to mine and I needed to know that it is possible after so much time. Did you have your ultrasound? How did it go? How long before you know if it's a boy or girl?

[LauraN]

We had an ultrasound last tuesday and got to see and hear the heartbeat. We were in total shock.with their only being 1, but at least there is one in there. We have our next ultrasound this friday. So when is your appt? With us, our first appt was bloodwork, a pap smear, him rotter rooten around in my uterus with the intravaginal ultrasound thing. And we talked. I think we talked first but cant remeber. Then, they had me start birth control pills on the 3rd day of my period, thenwe started the shots a month later. different clinics use different protocol, so you wont know until you meet with them. I know mine wont start anything until day.3 of your period, then it all begins. I always questioned the clinic about putting me on the pill, but it is so that they can control things. Can't wait to hear about your appt and what drug protocol you will be on.